Citation: Dedalus. "Elixir of Transcendence: An Experience with H.B.Woodrose, Calamus, Kava, Chasteberries & Cannabis (exp70591)". Erowid.org. Jun 16, 2009. erowid.org/exp/70591
This experience took place at a drive in movie theater, and various parking lots; it is important to note that I was not driving on this night, as my good friend 'S' offered to take the wheel. The preparation was simple and legal: I scraped and crushed nine Hawaiian Baby Woodrose seeds with a pair of pliers and a sheet of paper and sealed the course powder in two capsules; the Kava was from a health food store, and consisted of pure, untreated root powder; the Calamus root and Chaste Tree Berry arrived in the mail already powdered, and all these encapsulated.
HBWR: 9 seeds, in 2 caps
Calamus: ~5 grams, in 4 caps
Kava: ~6 grams, in 5 caps
Chasteberry: ~3 grams, in 2 caps
Also I took two capsules of crushed Milk Thistle seed; these have no psychoactive effect, but are good for cleansing the liver and blood of the toxins which cause the trip. I have been experimenting with these, and other herbal consciousness-expanders for two years; this formula has been achieved through trial and error, and I am very satisfied with this latest iteration.
The HBWR contains LSA, which is the plainer cousin of LSD; for me the effects always come on as a vague set of bodily sensations, starting in the stomache and heart area, then flowing up into the eyes, and back of the head. The feeling resembles a psychic/erotic tension, a combination of bodily and perceptual heightening; it was hard to notice, and harder to describe, during my first experiments with LSA. The Calamus acts as a stimulant, and has a spicy taste which reappears in frequent burps. Kava is a socializing drug which brings out feelings of empathy and a kind of outward-flowing consciousness. Chasteberry contains a chemical which binds to the brain's Dopamine receptors, making for a more pleasant, euphoric experience.
This night the experience built to a peak which I had not encountered before; while the movies played across the screens I became more relaxed and euphoric, while nausea was held easily at bay with Cannabis inhalation. My visual effects were close-edyed at this point, and they amounted to a seperate, entirely private movie playing on my eyelids. I could visualize anything, in perfect clarity, and see it before my third eye in High Definition Omnicolor; for a period I had control over the images, and I played with various ideations and fantasies, until I came upon a startling and terrifying notion.
I considered the experience of the last man on Earth, what he might experience on his dieing day; suddenly it struck me that, at the moment at which the last man/woman on Earth dies, he/she will not be aware of the fact. Since the extinction of mankind assumes a breakdown in communication, the news of Man's extinction would not be known by anyone; barring a very unlikely occurance in which the Earth is destroyed all at once, except for a few people who witness the event, the extinction of Mankind will never be consciously known by anyone. It's hard to describe now, a week afterward, but at the time it was horrifying beyond description.
My friend helped to calm me down, but I was still feeling disturbed as we left the theater. I was not in the mood to return home yet, but we had no more cash for more entertainment, so we parked in the lot of a Wal-Mart, which is still busy in the middle of the night, so that we could sit for another hour without being noticed or pulled over and arrested. While we sat listening to Sphongle and watching rain slide down the windshield, I began to have open-eye visual distortions; everything took on the appearance of watery distortion, like the rain sliding down the glass, and the outside world was a kaliedescopic array of bright colores and lights split through the prisms of water droplets. The world was a bright stereoscopic vision, and only I saw it thus; I was transfixed by this new idea, that I among all the world was the only person having this experience at this moment, and that this made me... what?
It was this moment which classified this trip as a level IV entheogenic experience: I was struck by the realization that I was alone in a universe of my own imagination--a dreamworld, created by the dreamer, in which I would relive every moment of every human life, in endless configurations and emotional states and with every range of experience. In short I was God, the universal awareness, expressed through every human being as a different individual, because the prismatic effects of spacetime split the Godhead into a legion of individual observers, each capable of assuming an individual identity. This was not a moment of solipism, in which I discovered that I was God Almighty, Master of the Universe, but rather that I am a humble cell in a cosmic entity, into which I will reassimilate when I die, and from which I will again split away, to live again, and again, and again, and again, and again....... ad infinitum.
I was stunned, and had enormous difficulty explaining this to S as she drove me back to my apartment; I have still not come to terms with it, as it was too powerful and affirmative to ignore, yet also to startling to easily accept. I look forward to repeating the experience, with the hope that I may continue to explore the transcendental state which I attained.
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