Citation: Anonymous. "I Can't Say It's Safe: An Experience with Doxepin, MDMA, Meditation & Cannabis (exp89680)". Erowid.org. Sep 21, 2019. erowid.org/exp/89680
||Pharms - Doxepin
| T+ 20:00
||(powder / crystals)
| T+ 22:00
||(powder / crystals)
| T+ 28:00
||Pharms - Doxepin
| T+ 0:00
MDMA, Cannabis and tricyclic antidepressant
I've obtained some MDMA in crystal form and tested it 2 times. One time I've used about 150mg + 150mg and smoked some weed during the experience. At that time I didn't use any antidepressant for several months (though I was supposed to).
A few weeks after that experience I began taking a tricyclic antidepressant again: 100mg Doxepin every night. Unfortunately I didn't find much information about the combination of MDMA and tricyclic antidepressants, mostly just lots of noise about how you should never take MDMA because it is very very bad and that the combination MDMA + antidepressants is very very very very bad. These warnings weren't exactly scientific papers, so I disregarded them as opinions of people who don't really know what they're talking about. One webpage suggested that Doxepin is neuroprotective against MDMA-induced neurotoxicity, so I tested this combination.
About 20 hours before taking the MDMA I took my usual dose of 100mg Doxepin. The MDMA experience wasn't planned on that day, it was just a spontaneous decision I made.
At T+ 0:00 I put about 150mg of MDMA crystals on my tongue and swallowed them with some orange juice. Additionally I took some dextrose tablets, to get rid of the MDMA taste on my tongue and because I barely ate anything on that day.
Untill about T+ 0:20 I was browsing the internet, then the MDMA started kicking in and I went to my usual relaxing spot on the sofa. Then I began some kind of energetic meditation with the help of music and trippy Winamp visualizations on my TV.
The experience evolved into a obvious trip pretty quickly, probably because I was prepared from doing the same kind of meditation the day before. I'm not sure if it was because of the meditation, but this time the experience seemed stronger than a few weeks before without Doxepin.
I'm not sure if it was because of the meditation, but this time the experience seemed stronger than a few weeks before without Doxepin.
The body symptoms like sweating and jaw clenching seemed to be reduced compared with the previous experience, though I still had to consciously relax my jaw every x minutes.
At T+ 2:00 I remembered my plan to take another 150mg 2 hours after the initial dose, so I could compare the experience with that a few weeks ago. At that point I had doubts if it was really a good idea to increase the intensity of the already intense trip, but everything went so very well until that point, which encouraged me to take the risk. And it turned out to not be a bad idea.
I didn't write the report to describe what interesting inner worlds I encountered during the trip, so I'll make it short. On the trip I came to the conclusion that our universe is a very interesting place and that intelligent lifeforms like us enrich this universe. I came to that conclusion after living a very empty and meaningless life for several years. I assume that this experience will have some therapeutic value for myself.
At about T+ 8:00 I took 75mg of Doxepin, which was supposed to enhance the sleep. Though I was only able to sleep at about T+ 10:00, and the sleep wasn't exactly deep and long.
Nevertheless I felt very well on the next day, while after the previous experience without Doxepin I felt a little depressed. My thoughts were still drifting a lot on that day and the day after, and I was sometimes worrying that the trip might have too much impact on my psyche, making my thoughts drift too much. But I do have a reason to worry, because I casually had psychotic epsiodes more than a decade ago and stopped using psychedelics for that reason. I also do have a deep rooted personality disorder and I don't like 'too much' changes in my personality.
Anyway, most of the 2 days after the experience wasn't spent with worries, but with embracing the different point of view I now had about me, my life and everything. Certainly I wouldn't want to have such trips every day or even only every month, but at some point in time I will probably trip again, with or without Doxepin.
There is always a risk when taking psychedelics, especially for people with mental disorders like me, but under the right circumstances psychedelics can be of great value.
I can't say it's safe to take MDMA and Doxepin. Maybe the Doxepin increased the intensity of the trip
Maybe the Doxepin increased the intensity of the trip
, or my mindset was the reason for the more intense trip and partial ego-loss. Maybe it would be too much for some people, who don't want their thoughts to be drifting between worlds too much. But the combination MDMA&THC&Doxepin neither caused any headaches nor heavy bodyload or other unwanted symptoms.
The experience may or may not be similar with other tricyclic antidepressants.
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