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Pain and Bliss
Syrian Rue & Cacti - T. bridgesii
by Sophos
Citation:   Sophos. "Pain and Bliss: An Experience with Syrian Rue & Cacti - T. bridgesii (exp68669)". Erowid.org. Oct 5, 2008. erowid.org/exp/68669

 
DOSE:
T+ 0:00
20 ml oral Syrian Rue (extract)
  T+ 0:30 25 g oral Cacti - T. bridgesii (dried)
  T+ 0:30 1 repeated smoked Cannabis  

BODY WEIGHT: 170 lb


I prepared the sacrament (Trichocerus bridegsii) by grinding the dried strips into a fine powder. I had obtained the dried skin through a trusty supplier. Though I saw little whiteness in the Cactus (which are the stomach-churning lipids of the core), this non-perception later came to haunt me.

Cramming ~25 grams of cactus into veggie-caps is quite a process as you psychonauts know. Nonetheless, I found the somewhat tedious process meditative and humbling. Before letting a plant teacher eat me, I prepare sufficiently to become empty, humbler, simple, with few desires. The pain-staking process of ingesting dozens of veggie-caps, and the elaborate preparation in general, is part of the overall experience.

My roomie and his friends were watching an extremely vulgar movie in the living room, which is adjacent to my room. The volume was pretty high. That sets up a rather unpleasant ambience for a trip... however, the frigid and soggy winter of Oregon prevented me from wandering out – besides, driving would have been a BAD IDEA. So, I accepted this noise and said a few invocations to purify the surrounding air and house of all negative vibrations emanating from the profane movie.

I drank the peganum extract about 30 minutes before Cactus ingestion. The taste is hideous and other-worldly as always. (All MAOI dietary restrictions were followed. I take these restrictions seriously). Then came the rather stomach-churning process of imbibing dozens of Cactus-veggie caps. I offered a shamanic prayer and offering, singing for a peaceful journey that will benefit all beings. The Cactus insists on humility.

All lights are off...stomach feels a bit funky, but I'm OK. Chewing on fresh ginger for nausea, along with a few puffs of Oregon ganja. Body is transitioning into the Other Place quite well. I lay down on my bed, feeling that's the proper way to surrender.

Though I was physically fine for about an hour, after about two hours of digestion, nausea of unspeakable intensity coursed through me. This continued for 2-3 hours. I writhed like a dying beast. I'm quite convinced that this batch had a good dose of the toxic, inner-core lipids. But the Cactus wouldn't let me vomit – nothing came out. I could have forced it, but that didn't feel right. Eventually I let the nausea and pain completely consume me.

Simultaneously, subtle visions floated to me; a highly emotional sensation swam through me as I flew through visions of cacti growing at 3000 meters, deep in the Andes. Distant sounds of Peruvian shamans, singing the ancient song of Spirit. What beauty. The plant-human symbiosis is so remarkable......indeed, there would be no organisms at all without plant ingestion. But beyond this, herbs from kava to Yerba mate to ginger to Bridgesii cactus are the Tree of Life, connecting those of the physical realm with the celestial heavens. A divine, blissful transmission. And these plants come directly from the soil... the Gaian spirit infuses them, pushing us to the fringes of our animal self, into – .....

The unimaginable pain and nausea continued. Everyone had left the house by then, praise the gods. A fire was roaring in the fireplace, and I'd stop by there throughout the night. The purifying flames instantly helped my nausea and put a certain 'spark' in my aura. Eventually I bundled up and just collapsed on the frigid, wet ground of the house's backyard. Mumbling, writhing, crying. It was one of those painfully blissful cathartic movements. I asked Earth's forgiveness for our mindless destruction, toxifying and desecration. I wanted to vomit out the Earth's misery. The toxicity of our poisoning stained my mouth. The pain just continued. Somehow 'I' know: we are never truly alone. Soil, saliva, pain. Just let it go. Let go of all you cling to. Be the soil that others tread on. It was truly amazing to feel no more special than a rock, a log. Be the water that courses through valleys: no one special. Though I experienced various emotions bubbling up from my psyche, the anxieties and dramas of my life seemed absurd, dreamlike. The Goddess laughs at me, for She is this flesh.

Eventually the nausea faded, and I again sat near the fire until it was painfully unbearable. I felt lucid, barely 'altered' at all. This Cactus spirit was subtle – mescaline seemed rather low. I drank iced tea, no longer able to bear the strong bite of ginger I'd munched on all night. The tea was as nourishing as a three-course meal.

This journey was pain itself. The thick cell walls of the Cactus metabolized for hours, bringing both visions and piercing agony. Plant hallucinogens connect us to the planetary Spirit, which feels an immense pain, and it is humanity that caused this by pushing past the subtle balance with Earth. Plant teachers are worlds away from the pleasant buzzes of “drugs;” indeed, I find little pleasure in a plant journey. Visions are auspicious, and also terrifying, wrathful – tread softly.

Exp Year: 2008ExpID: 68669
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Oct 5, 2008Views: 11,901
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Cacti - T. bridgesii (448), Syrian Rue (45) : Alone (16), Personal Preparation (45), Difficult Experiences (5)

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