Citation: Incognito. "Ethereal and Ecstatic Psychedelic Experience: An Experience with MDMA, Cannabis, Alcohol & Tobacco (exp48813)". Erowid.org. Nov 2, 2007. erowid.org/exp/48813
Prior to this, my first experience with MDMA, I hadn't had much experience with psychedelics (which I consider E to be, despite others arguing otherwise). I had smoked a lot of pot and taken low doses of mushrooms a couple of times, but none of this had quite the powerful long-term effect on me that this would have. Whilst marijuana had given me some very strange psychological insights into myself and alternative perspectives, E pretty much changed my whole relatively pessimistic, almost nihilistic, approach to life into one of hope and love. It was definately a humbling experience in the long term, with no real negative side-effects at all, apart from slight depression following the comedown, but nothing approaching the paranoia I had experienced, both with and without drugs, before.
To explain the experience in full, we have to start a week before the night itself. A much more experienced psychonaut than myself had prepared one of those cut-bottle bongs for me which basically meant that the effects hit me harder than ever before (I'm used to becoming gradually stoned) and I was rapidly over-thinking, getting more and more paranoid and feeling very strange sensations due to the ever-increasing heartbeat. Trying to get away from this I stupidly went and sat on the bed in my darkened room, staring at the floor for what felt like hours whilst anxious thoughts about death, the impossiblity of existence and feelings of complete isolation rushed through my head at an uncontrollable speed.
My two mates tried to persuade me to go to a club in town with them, unaware of how badly I was tripping, or thought I was, but I was far too out of it for that. I managed to get out of it by about an hour after they left and enjoyed as much of what was left of the high as I could, finding the whole experience amusing, before going to bed. In the morning I awoke at about 8am to find that the others had got mashed (mdma) last night in town and we talked for a while about the night before. One of them suggested I take some with them next week and, despite my initial fear, I agreed to the proposal. After all it couldn't possibly be worse, psychologically, than last night surely?
The next Saturday night we went into town geed up about taking the pills although, due to horror stories I had heard years and years ago, I was still very apprehensive at first. This was not helped by the joint we had smoked earlier, although this experience was far more relaxing than last weeks. I decided to have a couple of drinks to build up the courage and by midnight we were into the club, now feeling much better about it. My mate dropped two pills at first, whilst I dropped one, and we waited for the effects to kick in.
After around 30-45 minutes I felt like I was feeling 'something' but not sure what. I knew I needed to drink water pretty regularly, so decided to get some from the bar. Whilst waiting for the water, a wave of positive energy enveloped my body and I had a strange urge to strike up conversation with, well, anybody. As a generally introspective person, this was a totally new emotion on my half. I spoke to the man next to me who, as always seems to be the case if they respond positively, seemed to be on the same wavelength as myself. The water tasted like nothing I had tasted before - almost divine. I decided to have a smoke, and then a few more, and the same went for that. Being a socially anxious person in general, I wondered 'perhaps this is close to how other people feel normally?' and, unlike normally, I responded to this thought with warmth. It was as if I felt good for these other people rather than bad for myself.
The lights in the club were hypnotic and I spent perhaps half an hour just experimenting with everyday concepts within this new plane of existence. I felt the air around me, tilted my head backwards, walked around a bit. Every sensation felt awesome, 'This is how it must feel in heaven' I wondered. All this time I was experienced a strong urge to be sick, a feeling I've only really had on this first occasion though, so I locked myself in a cubicle and, quite easily, vomited in the bowl. Prior to this, due to several bad experiences with drink and vomiting, I had had a phobia of vomit and vomiting, but this just felt amazing. My stomach felt cleansed and the process itself was understandably like the reversal of the water drinking sensation. I sat on the seat and rested my feet against the door, whilst my outstretched arms slowly felt down the cold, tiled wall. It was a sensation I thought at the time must be like one experienced from heroin, just complete divine sensitivity, every movement practically heavenly.
I wandered around the club for what seemed like hours, taking another couple of pills at intervals later. I didn't really have an urge to dance, though I could feel the rhythm in every inch of my body, I just felt very inquisitive about everything. Everyday things seemed so fascinating - this was how I imagined a slightly less 'trippy' acid experience would be. At 3am we left the club and made the half hour walk home, every building seemed perfectly modelled, the clouds seemed so much more 3 dimensional than I was usually aware of and, as the third pill began to set in, I began to see beautiful patterns in the road and lamposts appeared to transform into art nouveau trees. I managed to sleep very easily, albeit after an hour or so of sitting in the bathroom trying to be sick.
The psychological comedown was pretty dissapointing, I thought I'd be able to control it but I did feel a few days of mild depression. Within a few weeks I felt it time to have a second experience, in which I introduced someone new to the drug, and although less revelatory, this was equally spiritually fascinating. We talked more about the effects it was having upon us with child-like enthusiasm.
I don't believe the drug to be addictive at all, it's generally cheaper than alcohol and weed too - I would recommend this drug to anyone, especially those who are trying to rid themselves of any ego-related anxieties. My initial fears - over-hydration, dehydration, allergic reaction, other substances - were banished and I definetly question it's UK classification as a Class A drug.
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