This Is Changing My Life
2C-T-2, Cannabis & Kratom
Citation: Xorkoth. "This Is Changing My Life: An Experience with 2C-T-2, Cannabis & Kratom (exp46903)". Erowid.org. Oct 15, 2005. erowid.org/exp/46903
|(powder / crystals)
I must begin my personal 2C-T-2 account by mentioning the synchronicities that led up to my taking of it successfully. Such happenings weren't realized until I was under its influence, but if I had been able to glimpse them beforehand, I would have realized the personal significance of the experience to come.
The first synchronicity occurred a I was browsing online week ago. I came across 5-MeO-DALT, and having never seen it before, I read about it. Now, my introduction to the psychedelic universe, or rather I should say to our own, true universe, began with a mushroom trip of unsurpassed brilliance, which still vibrates within me today, over four years later. However, from then on, each experience, for the most part, has been more and more of a dissapointment, as I seem to have become less and less able to surrender to the effects, and instead I get caught up in the initial discomfort and anxiety and end up just wishing it was over. After I discovered kratom, I began using it during or before the peak almost every time I tried to trip, just because I was so fearful. In any case, I went to my supplier's web site and tried to order the DALT. However, through some strange happening, whether it was an error on my part or the supplier's, a few days later I received a tiny envelope of 100mg 2C-T-2. I was dismayed, as I was looking for a more 'easy' and 'empathetic' substance like the 5-MeO-DALT seemed, not a true psychedelic substance like one of the 2Cs.
The other synchronicity occurred when the package arrived. My girlfriend does not know about and would absolutely be against my taking of psychedelics. She knows I used to but thinks that it's stupid and dangerous. So, when the package arrived, I was not home, but she was. It came from Japan, by the way, and was full of Japanese writing on the outside of the package. So she took it inside and fortunately did not open it. When I got home, she mentioned that I had a package from Japan, and wanted to know what it was. Now, recently I purchased the Whizzinator in case of emergency drug testing, and coincindentally (and very strangely) the heat pads that they supply also come from Japan, which also coincindentally she knew. I ran upstairs with my package, and the heat pads happened to be right there where I first looked upon entering the room. So to answer her question, I said that when I ordered the second urine sample for the Whizzinator, they didn't send the extra heat pads at the same time, and that they were sent separately from Japan. She said that was weird, and left it at that. Whew!
Also, I must explain my mental state. Over the last few years I have been increasingly falling into a state of mediocrity, where my imagination feels rusty, like it's not really working and certainly never spontaneously begins working. I have become prone to sudden fits of depression, reasonless annoyance, and anxiety. I really can't say why this is, other than it just feels like life is bearing down on me. I guess it's because I had such an idyllic childhood where I was almost without exception happy, well-adjusted, and imaginative. I used to remember my dreams vividly almost every night, and now I rarely remember any, and they're usually in the same composite dream world, take place at night, and involve anxiety-filled situations mostly consisting of being chased, or running out of time. I've been using 5-HTP for depression, and Melatonin for dreams, both of which have been having mild if any effects. Basically, I have been feeling that my quality of life has dramatically lessened, and I'm just not very happy in general. Not helping this is the fact that in the last six weeks I've moved far away from everyone I've ever known with my girlfriend, to live and work and go to school in another part of the country. I still talk with my friends and family regularly, but of course it's a big change to not have them with me every day.
Anyway, on the real importance of this report, which is of course the experience itself. This report is a composite of my first two 2C-T-2 experiences of significance. Between the two, I had a low-dose 2C-T-2 experience that was largely unsatisfactory.
THE FIRST TRIP - INITIATION AND CLEANSING
The day after I received it, my girlfriend was going to be at school for about seven hours, enough time for a full trip. I will begin with a timeline of real-time note-taking, which ends at the peak/plateau.
2:35pm - Consumed 18mg 2C-T-2 over 15 minutes, dissolved in 1mL = 1mg solution which was then put into Kool-aid. Taste was very faint but noticeable. Tasted a bit chemical-y.
2:53pm - Decide to go take a walk outside, as I'm getting my first alerts and I feel compelled to get out of my apartment.
3:04pm - Nothing much yet... outside certainly seemed to brighten my mood, however. I found a large branch and now I'm about to head out to the back porch to sit and look at the trees and carve the branch. I definitely feel like this is 'slower' than 2C-I.
3:19pm - Starting to feel a little body rush and faint stomach nausea. Hopefully it won't develop badly. About to read some new reports.
3:37pm - Starting to sweat and feel... kinda fucked up. I'm starting to get an impression of waving and bending of reality, but it hasn't yet entered the visual spectrum. I'm thinking about jumping in the shower soon.
3:57pm - Just stepped out of the shower. This body load is unpleasant, though I know what will help... a hitter of the special herb.
6:28pm - What a mind-blower! Allow me to recount the events of the last few hours.
Directly after the hitter, just as with 2C-I, the body load became much more bearable, and the gears of the drug shifted so that my mindset was more positive, and not weighted down by the unpleasant physical effects. I was listening to music at this time, and had prepared a playlist which I thought would probably be appropriate. At this time, I was sitting in my (rather uncomfortable) computer chair, and so far the music seemed normal, or even less wonderful than usual due to my negative mindset. However, RIGHT after I took the hit or two, which was of personally homegrown herbs of the highest quality, the playlist reached the point at which I had anticipated I would want to be as the effects truly began to wash over me. Pink Floyd began to play, all of my favorite songs which were beautiful and joyous with hints of sadness and longing. I turned on MilkDrop, a great visualizer for Winamp, and began to stare in amazement. My mouth slowly dropped open as the music took on a life of its own and I heard it in a new way that I had never previously heard before. Time began to stretch out as I gained the ability to fully absorb each and every note, every nuance of the music.
I found my gaze drawn to the center of the screen where all of the fractals from MilkDrop originate from. I could see them in shockingly minute detail, and it absolutely fascinated me. During this time, whenever I would look away, the only visual effects I had were a very slight crawling and a pretty strong strobing of light sources in the peripheral vision. My little kitten came into the room and jumped up onto my lap, and began to watch the screen as well, purring loudly.
As I listened and watched, the effects quickly grew to a peak, though the visual effects had not yet reached their maximum. I find that with 2C-T-2, unlike many substances, the peak is not the most strongly psychedelic part of the trip, but rather that the plateau is where all of the revelations, where its signature mindstate emerges, and when all of its amazing visual effects begin. Regardless, this peak was amazing, and I began wanting to close my eyes and watch the CEVs that were beginning to emerge, as I rarely get CEVs at all, and certainly not ones with any color. However, these ones had color, and were not as intricate as the MilkDrop visuals, but they amazed me more because they were flowing perfectly with the music in circular patterns and my whole body was reacting to them, as if they were just a visual interpretation of the whole psychedelic feeling running through me. This continued through about a half and hour of Pink Floyd songs, during which I had my eyes closed almost the whole time. Each beautiful guitar note made by David Gilmour resonated in my head, and I realized occasionally that my mouth was hanging open, when I wasn't grinding my teeth. I found that closing my eyes and immersing myself in the music was what increased the psychedelic effects of the drug, but when my eyes were open, I just felt like my body was poisoned at this point.
Suddenly, my speakers were quiet. It turned out that this was just the end of the last Pink Floyd song, which was a recording which for some reason had 15 or 20 seconds of silence at the end. However, in my state, this time seemed to stretch on far too long, and I opened my eyes. With no musical stimulation, I found that I was beginning to feel kind of nasty and my mind was starting to become occupied by The Fear, which I for some reason am very susceptible to these days and that I know all too well. I began thinking about kratom, which brings down a psychedelic experience for me, but instead decided to let the effects fully manifest for once and lay down on the ground on top of pillows. As I was preparing this sanctuary for myself, the playlist continued after its (seemingly) long pause, with many songs in a row by Infected Mushroom, my favorite electronic trance music. I laid down, closed my eyes, and was sent into another world.
The music was absolutely breathtaking. The thing that I love about Infected Mushroom is that it constantly shifts between different note patterns, each of which causes different emotions and thought patterns. I laid there and kept my eyes closed for the duration of the experience with few exceptions, and the music no longer seemed to be coming from the speakers but rather from inside my head, a state which I have not often been able to get to because of the inability to surrender to the experience. This time, though, I was purposely removing all external stimuli, and as a result my mind was free to enjoy the effects and not to be occupied with worry. Lying down had a profound effect towards 'softening' the experience, as I was developing a significant and slightly painful amount of back and shoulder tension sitting in my chair. The music became integrated into my being, and I went for a three hour long rollercoaster ride of thoughts, visuals, and emotions, not to mention the tactile sensations. I heard nuances in the background of the music that I had never heard before, despite the fact that the music was not too loud nor was I right next to the speakers, nor were they pointed right at me.
Each and every sound affected my CEVs and the tactile sensations that my body was experiencing. I was experiencing a completely sensual experience, with sound becoming sight becoming touch, and I was absolutely blown away by it. It began to feel so natural to my mind, as if this was the way it should be, as if I had been here before. However, it was significantly different from any other psychedelic I've tried. Much friendlier, to me even more so than 2C-I. It had the interesting property of feeling very spiritual and significant and breathtaking with my eyes closed, but feeling very 'transparent' with my eyes open. That being said, I still had the most significant OEVs that I've ever had. The usual morphing and crawling of objects was not prominent at all, but instead I noticed complex hallucinations where colored fractals writhed and morphed, similar to a somewhat less-detailed vision of a Winamp visualization program, like MilkDrop.
Slowly this sheer intensity dropped off, and in the silence between songs after most of the playlist had passed, I realized that, aside from the tension in my back, all of the body load was gone. I had emerged into the lower end of the plateau, which I consider to be the most pleasant and beneficial part of the experience. I stood up, and it was as if I was seeing the world in a whole new light. The visuals had mostly faded, other than color enhancement and hints of movement in objects, but emotionally I felt... clean, pure, almost innocent. I put a Phish CD into my portable CD player and decided to go for a walk outside in the beautiful evening air. Everything was indescribably beautiful, and nature seemed to flow to the music, which was Phish's 'You Enjoy Myself' and 'The Squirming Coil' from A Live One. The sheer beauty of the outdoors in very early Fall was poignant, and tears sprang to my eyes several times as I thought about how lucky we were to live in such a wonderful place, and how I was so grateful to have come to into this mindstate. I still felt separated from other humans and felt as if I couldn't interact with others very well, but I felt immensely enlightened.
At this point I had a WONDERFUL body buzz, but other than that I didn't feel like I had taken a drug, but rather that I had broken through my usual blue haze and into an extremely healthy state of mind. Everything seemed new, fresh, alive, and I was almost overwhelmed to tears of gratitude by the sheer euphoria that was my brain was saturated with, not a euphoria of chemical origin, but one born of the actual re-opening of my mind. As others have said in similar reports, at this point I was at a place that I wish I could stay at forever. I wasn't as ecstatically happy as something chemical like MDMA makes me, but this was a true happiness, one that was equal parts joy and contentment, one that was the result of enlightenment rather than serotonin release. If I was able to maintain this state, I wouldn't never be upset again. So my goal became to keep some part of that enlightenment with me at all times, to remember that such a mental state is possible, and all I have to do to get there is remember, to remember that all of the negativity and the crushing effect of a lifetime of human experience is transient, illusionary. It can only affect us if we let it. It's in the past, and there is absolutely no reason that we should allow the past to sabotage the rest of our lives.
As the music came to an end, I found myself approaching my apartment again. I went in and drank my prepared kratom, as I knew I was coming all the way down now and my girlfriend would be home in about an hour, and I wanted to be in a better place to interact with her. Also, I was really feeling the back tension, and the kratom allows me to relax and give my back muscles a break. In retrospect, I really feel like the drug was trying to get me to address the problem I've had my whole life with posture. I slouch my shoulders a bit, and I've come to realize that this will cause me significant pain later in life, as it is actually already beginning to. Next time with the drug, I will try to get more into that, as I think it's very important to my future quality of life. This was a double-edged sword, however.
See, kratom and I have a pretty long history of, frankly, abuse. I've always felt very healthy and feel that it hasn't had any negative impact on my health, either physically or mentally, but emotionally is another story. I've become completely addicted to it and I rely on it to get me through the day. A big trigger for my blue funk is the first time I withdrew from kratom. It's as if it unlocked a part of my brain, like now I knew that real depression was possible, and it never quite went away, even after I got more and continued using. I was very sad as I drank the kratom today because it was my last glass. It was getting expensive and frankly, this experience showed me under no uncertain terms that I had to stop being addicted to it, as it would be my downfall someday. I know I'll have a rough few days ahead of me, but I feel that this experience will give me the necessary tools to deal with it. Last time I withdrew, I couldn't deal with the depression; I was bedridden for about half the time, curled into a ball, feeling hopeless, helpless, and on the verge of a panic attack almost constantly. So I drank the kratom, allowing myself to really taste it this time, as if to be more truthful with myself and my problem. I gagged, teared up at the sadness of it all, and settled down to write this report.
Final impressions of this first experience:
-Feels quite at-home in my brain
-Feels like I've actually done some good with this one
-To a more honest place inside
-Re-opened up my mind's own imaging capabilities
-Feels very 'clenching', edgy
-Body load really dissipates by hour 2.5-3
-Much grinding of teeth
-Extreme tactile enhancement - The blanket I was on felt like the softest silk combined with fluffy cotton. I just wanted to stretch endlessly and writhe on the floor.
-Music was ABSOLUTELY KEY
-I definitely feel that this is a more important and positive substance than 2C-I and indeed any other hallucinogen I've tried except for mushrooms. Those substances feel like they got me to the same place with the universe as this seems to have gotten me to in myself. However it is much easier than mushrooms, much less dark
-Musical appreciation is absolutely heightened. Foxy for me had a similar type of musical enhancement. Also, music guided and mediated the experience. With eyes closed and music playing, the experience approached a full ++++, but was strange in that when I opened my eyes, I could easily discern reality and bring myself back, so to speak.
-Body load is well worth braving! But it's unpleasant for a while.
-I agree with Shulgin - I felt extremely in-tune with my movements.
-Feels like it could just really help me to immerse in anything I'm doing, I just picked music this time.
-An incredibly clarity eventually gets reached that was absent from 2C-I.
-REMEMBER: Once I laid down, closed my eyes, and accepted it, it was so positive. I really feel that I have come to a place where I can once again explore a psychedelic substance, and not let it freak me out into oblivion, wasting the experience. Lately I've always used kratom to bring myself back to a more positive mindstate before the plateau was even reached when I trip. This is because come-ups can be long, and peaks confusing and overwhelming, but I finally re-realized the true value of a psychedelic experience, and that physical and mental discomfort must be overcome as a trade-off to the immense rewards that come later.]
-Once I 'get over the hump', it becomes easy and wonderful
-Strongest OEVs that I've ever perceived. They were the same as my CEVs, but took the surface texture of whatever I was looking at into account. This was the only time I've ever had visuals of that nature with open eye... every other experience just provided the standard shifting and morphing. I really found that kind of visual to be vague with this substance, but I prefer the kind it gave anyway, though they seem less organic. For example, the ceiling would come apart in abnormally-shaped sections and each section would raise up or lowest slightly so that they were all at different heights, and then they would shift around to gently overlap each other. All the while, spiraling, slightly colored fractal patterns would be spinning and flowing behind it all.
-A central theme for hallucinations was circular motion, in Milkdrop-esque fractal patterns, that came forth of their own accord, like watching the visualization program.
-Some synaesthesia with closed eyes. Considerable feeling of music as touch, and seeing music as colored closed or open eye visuals. Also, full-body hallucinations would occur, and my body and mind would feel propelled in the direction of this circular motion.
It was a full +++, bordering on a ++++, and that's rare for me indeed!
A week later I had my second significant experience. In between the two, I withdrew fully from kratom. It was bad, but definitely easier than the first time. I became extremely emotional, and cried easily, even at cheesy Lifetime originals. I nearly relapsed multiple times, but eventually, by the end of the fifth day without, was able to feel normal again, and a HUGE surge of happiness came through me, more happy each and every hour than I've been in... at least a year. Another part of the withdrawal was the extremely restlessness of my limbs, which made it nearly impossible to sleep. I probably got 3 hours of sleep at most each night for those five days, once getting only 1.5 hours. Anyway, after I finished withdrawing, I made the decision to buy another pound of kratom, but this time I felt confident that I could control it.
The reason for this is that I find it to be a very good tool if used properly. For one, I no longer care at all for alcohol, as it just feels like poison and makes me feel gross and stupid, so kratom is a good substitute for me on nights where I want some sort of relaxing substance to partake of. Also, kratom can be very therapeutic if used occasionally, as it provides a wonderful euphoria and increased confidence. Thirdly, it's a great medicine for ridding one of aches, pains, and gastric distress particularly. Finally, I've re-begun my psychedelic explorations and plan to have many in the future, and it's a wonderful way to come down from a trip without becoming uncomfortable or having trouble re-integrating into society. It also allows me to get into a more receptive state of mind for communicating my experiences. You may think this is all just rationalizing to myself, but at the time of this writing, a few days after the second experience and about 7 days after receiving the kratom, I've only used it once, and that was for coming down from my second experience. This, I think, points to possible anti-addictive properties that I feel 2C-T-2 has.
THE SECOND EXPERIENCE - CLARIFICATION AND THE URGE TO CHANGE
Exactly one week after the first experience, I had my second. During this experience, I wrote most of the thoughts I had while on the tail end of the plateau, before the kratom was imbibed, so the thoughts communicated are, I feel, more purely born of the insight I received from the Medicine. The account of it is as follows:
2:15 - Ingested 19mg
3:22 - Very powerful waves are washing across me, distorting my perceptions as I read online.
3:45 - Whenever I stare at something I begin to see complex swirling fractal images distort its shape and predominate my mind. About to take a couple hits of MJ and put on my playlist.
Note from after: Didn't feel much like writing during the peaks of the experience. This was not edited in any way, which I think goes to show the mental clarity and coherence that my mind was in.
6:11 - Seems larger doses (than my previous experience with 14mg) are necessary to 'break through' with this one. My mindstate right now is one of almost absolute contentment. Also, however, is the lack of any real desire to communicate it, as I feel I already have in my previous account of a similarly strengthed trip. Reading this experience report (The Dryad in the Dresser, http://www.erowid.org/experiences/exp.php?ID=46726) was deeply meaningful to me, and I have actually had the thought numerous times today that somehow this head space is somehow linked with salvia's on some level. Also the memory returns to me that last time, I also thought this. I think that's why it has such a purifying feeling for me, the feeling that something good was actually done to my psyche in the afterglow of the experience. It feels very right, and natural, though with a (not negligible) aspect of upper back tension. However, I also think that this back tension is in part due to the drug trying to address this issue that I have with posture, and stretches it guides me through definitely help the feeling in my back and drive me to hold my shoulders straighter.
The experience 'cycles' like a tryptamine, going through the good and the bad, the everything, all at once, all shifting and morphing back into itself to create a closed loop that encompasses all of creation. The place I'm describing is the head space of a natural psychedelic experience, as opposed to an artificial one, like MDMA, 5-MeO-DiPT, and in my opinion, 2C-I. It is a truly wonderful substance to lay back and explore the depths of my consciousness, if I feel that I need to get to know myself a little bit better, or if I just want a nice afternoon of reflecting and allowing my emotions to ride free in the tides of consciousness.
This drug truly takes over my visual field in a way that I haven't experienced with anything else. Whereas mushrooms can certainly cause a more significant amount of morphing and crawling, they still leave me with the sense that nothing has changed so much as my ability to perceive more detail and meaning in the same field of sight than was previously possible. This chemical dramatically alters what I am seeing, so that colorful patterns and fractals quickly begin to replace what I am looking at and flashes of light and color constantly amaze. Walking around, it feels as if one is slightly removed, and navigating clumsily through a psychedelic haze. The enhancement of colors is truly phenomenal as well, with white becoming many colors and each hue gaining an enhanced brilliance and tie-in with some combination of emotions. This is coming from a person who almost never gets any appreciable visuals from anything, though most of his peers do from equivalent dosages.
Right now I am a bit conflicted. On one hand, I want to consume my kratom dose, as I know from my past endeavor that soon the back discomfort will begin to override the positive afterglow. Simultaneously, however, I know that will dim what I feel as the sheer brilliance of this state. It's the kind of trip that makes me feel as if I will never come down from it, but rather I will from now on be free of everything I was and will have changed into this new being, but who is the same. However, I know from experience, with far more 'real' substances, that this feeling will fade, and we will once again find ourselves boxed in to this little sliver of consciousness that is the result of decades of coping mechanisms of a desperate and terrified animal. So why not drink of the cup, so to speak, imbibe that pleasure-filled liquid for its intended purpose, and sink into comfortable oblivion, with only the hints around the edges remaining of the brilliance that had just been surrounding us.
I really feel that at this point, hours into the experience and well into the come-down, I could begin to discuss at length with someone else about... well, anything. This drug gives me a clarity of thought that I have seldom been able to match, though during the peak and most of the plateau there is too much psychedelia occurring for it to be of much use for pursuits aside from abtractions.
I must emphasize the feeling of importance that this chemical has to me. I am a person whose psychedelic career began brilliantly and has seemed to continually fade since. My first trip was with mushrooms, and it blew my universe apart and changed me forever. It was beautiful, spiritual, and glorious, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. Since then, however, I have noticed an alarming trend of experiencing 'The Fear' when using psychedelics, and I have found myself in an array of bad trips, or at least unpleasant ones, where I feel that anything of value I could have gleaned from it was overpowered by the negativity spewing forth from my soul. 2C-T-2, however, purges through this with an unrelenting inability to see myself as the pathetic loser that I believe lies at the root of all of the psychedelic fear. All The Fear really is is an overpowering sense of my own absolute misery and lack of self-worth. This drug, however, lets me bypass all of that, somehow, while still being truly psychedelic.
That, to me, is a rare and wonderful gift. I feel that it is beginning to lift the veil that has seemed to cloud me in recent years, both psychically and physically. I feel that I could once again take the sacred sacrament of psilocybin mushrooms and maintain a hold on the 'Dark Side' as I call it, and attain the tremendous potential that I have seen in that fungus. I feel as if it is beginning to brush aside the negativity and self-loathing that has accumulated, like a thick crust, on the edges of my soul, and allowing me to live again, as a free individual in a marvelous world of possiblities. I MUST manage to get more of this one before it, too, becomes unavailable to the non-chemist ry-oriented population. I find it to be wonderfully therapeutic, and pleasingly eye-opening, not to mention entertainingly visual! And the synaesthesia is always nice.
This drug does not seem to require the use of a sitter, and to me at least seems rather personal, as in I wouldn't want to have to worry about others during the strong effects. That being said, I recognized today during said strong effects that the other half of my psychedelic fear stems from the intense drive to please others, and when I myself am being overcome by an intense and confusing psychedelic come-up, it makes me feel as if I am responsible for everyone else as well. The result is that I become overly sensitive to 'vibes', and end up at least freaking myself out and wishing it would end, if not causing that to happen to others as well. This drug, I really feel, has the potential to do a lot of good to my bruised psyche, with its gentle, analytical force. I feel I really owe it to myself to explore this state of mind with at least one close friend, to try to work through that particular problem, and maybe a few of his as well.
I also realize fully now that the having of a good psychedelic experience is preceded by body and stomach discomfort, and that is irrevocable. I know that in the past this feeling, the feeling of being poisoned, gross, sloppy, and so forth has most definitely contributed to The Fear. It makes me realize that I merely need to lay back, listen to evocative music, and wait for it to pass. When it does, it will always be well, well worth the effort it took to get past the body load, at least when using a worthy substance. 2C-T-2, I find, has a significant and fairly unpleasant body load, and I really have to get past it, but once I do, it completely disappears and leaves me in a very calm, tranquil, and, frankly, rather ethereal-feeling headspace. At first I wanted to say fragile, but ethereal is a much more appropriate term. Also, this drug always gives me a sense that, as time goes on, it becomes better and better, and more and more significant, even well into the come-down. And it definitely causes time dilation, though nothing like mushrooms can do. It just slows it to a crawl.
This drug gives to me the sense of a journey; a trip, so to speak, in every sense of the word. The mind is naturally taken to flights of fantasy, but these thought patterns are a bit like pre-sleep ones, where I can't make any sense of them if I stop to actually think about them for a minute. The music sends me on a journey through pure experience, that primarily touches the emotions but which has, through synaesthesia, the ability to bleed into my senses as well. I get the sense of boundaries between concepts being blurred, and it provides a hint of the true one-ness of creation that the tryptamines like DMT and psilocybin reveal. These journeys cannot be expressed into words, but are deeply meaningful, nonetheless, and are as therapeutic as a good, lucid dream can be, but much more supremely in my own control. Another advantage to this is that these mental journeys that bleed into every sense come unbidden, without any effort or conscious thought necessary by the tripper. I love this effect, as in the past few years it seems that whatever has been dragging me down into mediocrity has been killing my once-vivid imagination. As if everything I knew to be true and had pledged to myself to keep as a child was being crushed and made impossible to maintain.
That I could begin to shed this is something that I had begun to think impossible, and it is truly a blessing beyond words. I want to express the depth of my gratitude for this Medicine in returning that part of me to myself, or at least beginning the process.
7:53 - Right now, I'd say that I want to continue to have occasional sessions with this magical chemical forever. I just feel like it's done so much towards clearing up the garbage in my head, so to speak. The content and mental clarity that are an effect of the afterglow are simply wonderful and therapeutic, and they persist for days, at least. I guess it's only been a week since I tried this the first time, so the long-term benefits are as yet unknown. However, the potential that I see for this one is very promising indeed. This is the healthiest I've felt for a long time. Note to self, however, and anyone else who is using this as some sort of reference, that at least for me, a dose of 18mg or more, and I think probably with an ideal dose of 20mg, is essential for the truly therapeutic effects of this drug to work. It's as if I have to get 'over the hump' into this mindstate, and once in, I'm gold. For example, my dose with approximately 14mg led me to have some interesting visual effects and to immerse into the music I was hearing, but not totally so, and I was left feeling more or less worse off than before I took it, with SEVERE back tension and a general feeling that I had drugged myself foolishly and pointlessly.
In conclusion, my current suggestions for a good 2C-T-2 therapy session are as follows:
Ingest 18-20mg 2C-T-2, or possibly more, orally, NOT nasally. Almost every account points to the fact that this chemical was not meant to be snorted. It seems to strengthen the negative effects and greatly reduce the positive ones. I always take it over 15 minutes in liquid, so as to minimize the body load. In about 45 minutes to an hour I will be feeling quite intense and rather unpleasant, with strong nausea and a general out-of-control feel. When this happens, I go outside and walk around. This will calm the spirit significantly. None of the three times I have taken this have caused me to puke, or even get very close to it, and it is my opinion that I shouldn't let myself do so, as after a little while the negative effects disappear and the body does not feel the slightest bit poisoned.
I occupy myself in this manner or in any way I choose until about T+1:45, at which point I take two or three hits of good-quality cannabis, which will give it a more positive feel and significantly calm the nausea and body load, as well as propel the mind more fully into the psychedelic state. Then I put on a long list of music, preferrably music which makes heavy use of cool sound effects and which covers a broad spectrum of emotions. I personally enjoy starting with some of the more 'serious' Pink Floyd, then transitioning to PF's 'Cluster One', then playing all of my favorite Infected Mushroom songs. During the music, which should be on for the entire peak and most of the plateau, I have a good visualization like MilkDrop playing at fullscreen, and just let the music and the drug take me away. The visualization program at first is a good way to focus my mind so that the drug can do its work. If I think about the effects too much or worry about what I'll be feeling, it won't have its chance to elevate my mind to a higher state. By staring at the center of the screen, where the computerized fractals are emanating from, my mind can escape the tedium of everyday life and begin to purely feel, with wordless, flowing thoughts.
Once I'm immersed, I can understand, and the experience becomes effortless; I alternate between staring at normal objects, staring at the screen, or laying down with the eyes closed. The eyes closed method seems to me to have the most benefits. For one, it exercises the imagination, which is absolutely important to a happy life, which many people forget as they age. Secondly, this drug seems to cause a lot of back stress, but the result of that is that, when laying down, I feel the constant draw to stretch, in extremely deep and fulfilling ways. Doing so feels to me to be therapeutic in the same way that a deep tissue massage is, releasing points of stress I never even knew were there. Above all, I enjoy myself!
After the most intense effects pass, perhaps T+5-6 hours after ingesting, I get up and begin reflecting. It is during this time that a pretty quick and seamless integration of the experience comes, with extremely pleasant afterglow effects with none of the initial body load. I put on some jam music, like Phish (I recommend their album, 'A Live One'), and just live my life. I will remain in this blissful, enlightened state for the rest of the day, with positive mental changes noted from then on. Not to mention, my usual back tension and stress is lessened after the stretching! To maximize this effect, I drink kratom at about T+6 or 7 hours, or take a benzo, or something else that calms the muscles. I find that kratom allows me to keep a significant portion of the psychedelic mindstate, but completely eases the back tension and significantly elevates the mood, and it also increases the desire to communicate, both verbally and in writing.
Final thought: this is not a drug like mushrooms or DMT which will create from nothing a meaningful experience. In other words, I cannot take this drug and expect to be entertained in a quiet, unassuming place. The experience comes from within, and is directly mediated by the music. I believe it is intended to be used to delve within myself and do some self-mediated psychotherapy.
All in all, 2C-T-2 is a drug of the highest quality, with a unique place in my heart where few psychedelic drugs have been found to be truly useful in the past.
|Exp Year: 2005
|Age at time of experience: Not Given
|Published: Oct 15, 2005
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|2C-T-2 (53) : Alone (16), Music Discussion (22), Glowing Experiences (4), General (1)
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Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the authors who submit them. Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.
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