Citation: Steve. "My Eyes Were Like Windows, My Body A Shell: An Experience with Cannabis, St John's Wort & Alcohol (exp45571)". Erowid.org. Dec 23, 2008. erowid.org/exp/45571
I've been enjoying cannabis socially on and off for many years, but since I got home from university this summer, I've been smoking alone and late at night. I've become more focused on my thoughts and experiences, and on the high itself, than ever before. This has brought about many changes in my life, new thoughts and ideas, and new ways of looking at my life, and at life itself. This culminated in one such experience I had recently.
In persuit of a better high, I had the following before I smoked: one St Johns Wort tablet (had already taken 2 much earlier when I got up), and two or three shots of vodka. I could feel a little buzz from the vodka, then I mixed the few crystals left from scraping out my grinder with some fresh bud, and took two hits from the bong. I looked at the clock, it was 2:10am. A few minutes later I remember looking again and realising I was already incredibly high, it was great! Some of the thoughts and experiences that followed were unlike anything Iíve had before.
I sat on my bed, opposite a mirrored wardrobe, and I felt as if I was inside my body and controlling it. It was as if I was really a shrunken down version of myself, sitting in my brain looking through my eyes (as windows) at the rest of my body. When I moved my arms, they seemed mechanical, and it was as if I was controlling this body, but the real me was inside my brain. My body was just a shell being used to support my 'living'.
I got a little scared about taking this any further, as I wondered if I'd never be able to get out of it. Whether there's some other level or other place I can reach from that state that moves my mind to elsewhere. I'm not sure, it just felt so powerful like I was seeing myself from a whole new perspective, and that maybe this was the true perspective. If I was able to get into this state enough, I imagine Iíd be able to go deeper and find out more about my mind etc, and maybe why it exists in this body and how I can use that insight to do something productive, or maybe Iíd discover something new about myself or humans in general.
I got an overwhelming sense of just being an animal. That we are nothing more than intelligent animals. My body seemed incredibly primitive, and I envisioned humans in the future, after many 1000s of years of evolution, looking so much more advanced than what we do now. Like aliens look to us! I also thought about how humans have endeavoured to protect themselves from, or sufficiently destroy by using their intelligence any competitors or anything that is a threat to us as humans i.e. larger more powerful animals etc.
Whilst all of this was happening, in my head I could hear little snippets (words, phrases, etc) that my mother has said over the years, right from when I was young, and not necessarily just to me. They didnít form whole sentances, they were just one or two words, and they repeated over and over but kept changing. It was like listening to music, made up of words and phrases and snippets that my mother had ever said. It was amazing. I got to thinking that maybe I was reading her thoughts, seeing as how she was asleep in the next room. but Iím still unsure about this, it may have just been the collection of words/phrases etc that my mother has ever said that my mind has remembered, all being streamed into my thoughts at once. I don't know why it happened, or what it meant, but it was very interesting that my brain chose to do it!
The final significant thoughts were the envisioning of a system whereby you could ask a question or just post a thought, and you would receive a 'real' (i.e. intelligent/human) response almost immediately. I think this is what the search engines/blogs/forums of the future will be. This is when computers will gain superior intelligence to humans alone, and it will be made up not of computers but of human brains supported by computers. In other words, technological singularity does not mean the end of the human race, if anything it means the beginning.
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