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Of Death, Love, and Ancestral Spirits
Cacti (extract), 2C-D, Piracetam & Cannabis
by τρύπα
Citation:   τρύπα. "Of Death, Love, and Ancestral Spirits: An Experience with Cacti (extract), 2C-D, Piracetam & Cannabis (exp39562)". Erowid.org. Mar 9, 2005. erowid.org/exp/39562

 
DOSE:
T+ 0:59
1700 mg oral Cacti (extract)
  T+ 0:59 2.0 g oral Piracetam  
  T+ 0:30   smoked Cannabis (plant material)
  T+ 1:30 200 mg oral Cacti (extract)
  T+ 3:10   smoked Cannabis (plant material)
  T+ 5:12   smoked Cannabis (plant material)
  T+ 5:30   smoked Cannabis (plant material)

BODY WEIGHT: 190 lb


I knew this day would be a day to remember, when I awoke at around noon. I took my daily dose of Piracetam (2 grams), and proceeded to vaporize a quarter gram of cannabis in my Vapor Bros vaporizer, browse wikipedia, the art vaults, chat with some friends. I hear about a band playing that night, and recognize it as my friend's dad's thrash metal band. Me? Thrash metal? Friends I hadn't seen since I started college? Sounds like the concert would be the right time to take some hallucinogens with some friends. The Concert starts at 10. I should get prepared.

I gathered my psychoactive stash I built up from the college scene, and it amounted to this: Around 4 grams of mescaline powder, 2 gelcaps containing 100 mg BZP, 2 containing 250 mg BZP, 2C-E gelcaps containing 10 and 12 mgs, a gelcap containing 20 mg 2C-I, a gelcap containing 60 mg 2C-D, and a gelcap containing 1500 mg of the mescaline powder. Since the mescaline was extracted by a friend of mine and myself, the yield was adulterated with some plant matter and brownish green pigments, and therefore was a lot less potent than its given mass. I decided I would dose the gelcap of mescaline, and wait 2 and a half hours for the effects to come on. If I didn't feel anything, I would redose 200 mg and the 60 mg of 2C-D. My friend, Jer, dosed 20 mg of 2C-I. My other friend, Lucas, dosed 12 mg of 2C-E.

9 PM rolls around. We are cruising around our town, it's bitter cold so we are all bundling up, even though it's an indoor show. I dose my mescaline, and decide to take some piracetam to see how they blend. We show up at the bar where they're playing, and we get in with the band. My friends dose their chemicals around 9:30, and we all smoke a joint with the band immediately before they open the show. They thank us, ask us to have a good night and wish us a good time 'getting thrashed'. Around 10:30, when the show has been on for about 3/4 an hour, the band takes a break to get more drinks. My friends who dosed the 2C's are wearing their ear to ear smiles, and giggling, so I could tell that the chemicals are working their magic. They aren't as experienced as I am, so I was worried if it would be too intense, but around that point the drummer and the bassist of the band started jamming. My friends said were feeling awesome at this point, constantly talking about how this is probably the best music they've ever heard, how the energy of the room is so positive, and how the drum and bass blend so well together.

After a few more songs, Lucas and Jer started to get clammy and acting visibly intoxicated, so I asked if they wanted to take a walk and chill out. They said alright, and I guided them through the (admittedly not very crowded) crowd. We get to the car, they turn on the heat and we sit in it for a few minutes, them laughing hysterically and me redosing my mescaline and taking my 2c-d. I check my cell phone's time. It's 11:35. I rolled up a joint, and asked my friends to take a nature walk with me to chill out. We go.

The first alert I had was around 12:10, right as we finished up the joint. I had an upset stomach, but also an expansion of my visual field and colors getting brighter. I thought it was just smoking on an 'empty stomach' that caused the nausea, so I didn't worry that much. We play on some fallen trees, on some abandoned railroad tracks, and watch the snow fall. We go back to the car, warm up a bit, and talk about how we are feeling. Lucas is having a religious experience, as his previous experience with psychedelics were small doses of mushrooms, 'average' doses of 2c-I, and four 10x salvia divinorum experiences. He keeps rambling about how this feeling is what everyone is looking for in life, when they go out trying to get money or get laid or anything. I told him to calm down, remember he's under the influence of a drug, and advise him not to take it TOO seriously. He pulls his hood over his face, pulls the string and closes himself in. He says he's having sensory overload, being overwhelmed, and just needs to internalize. He begins to relax shortly. He tells me that I'm the equivalent of a priest to him, since I'm the only person that can make him feel spirituality like this. I told him that it's not me, it's the chemicals, and that thanking me would be like shooting the messenger for bad news. Jer is having a very good time giving himself a light show with his cell phone, so we decide to wait until everyone calms back down and we will go back to the show. As everyone began calming down, at 12:30, I feel the first wave of what will be the strongest psychedelic experience of my life.

With each breath I took, I felt a hard object growing inside the bottom of my right lung. I realized it was a hallucination or illusion, and went with the flow. Soon, it became hard to breathe, and at one point I almost decided against breathing because the perceived pain was so bad. I breathed anyways, realizing that if I didn't I would surely die. As I kept breathing, I felt tears welling in my eyes. The sober sitter accompanying us saw this, and asked if I was feeling alright. I said that it's interesting to feel like your chest is going to explode, and said that I'm just having a heavy experience. I looked at my chest under my shirt, and saw my skin crawling and bubbling. I noticed the car was breathing, and the visual distortions were (I thought) kicking in full gear. I kept making myself breathe, and eventually I felt my skin tear, my ribs burst, my heart tear itself apart, my lungs twist in unexplainable knots, my ribs pierce all of my internal organs, and I started crying. I placed my hands over where the tearing, crunching, snapping sensations were centered, and I felt a cylindrical or conical object in my hand. I looked at my chest, and actually saw this happening.

I'm pretty sure that if I was less experienced, I would have had a bad trip from this point on. I felt better as soon as I said 'it's so interesting to experience death without', and we went to the show as I wiped my eyes. I noticed the falling snow was forming extremely beautiful patterns in the air, and seeing my breath made me feel relieved, as if I was exhaling the vaporated remains of the unseeable object that impaled me.

We re-entered the show at about 12:45. The band was resting (getting more drinks and smoking a joint outside), and the bar-goers that were already drunk started to give off bad vibrations. General negativity towards us since we were in the bar underage, just not allowed to drink. We did not want to deal with this kind of people, so we apologized to the band for leaving, and said that the show was awesome and that we hope to see them again. We leave the bar at 1:00 am, and return to the car yet again.

We listen to some classic rock radio, and generally relax for a few minutes. We decide it's too risky to drive in this condition, so we decide to walk home. We are unaware of the cold, so we don't care. Jer lived close to the bar, so we parted with him first. Wishing good luck, and saying that if the trip gets too hard just to remember that it's all smoke and mirrors. It was now 1:15 am. Me and Lucas walk for a few blocks, commenting on how beautiful the night sky is and how the falling snow is so beautiful. We get to Lucas' house first, mostly because I wouldn't let him walk home by himself in this condition. He thanks me and says that we'll hang out tomorrow. We parted at 1:25.

It is now 1:50. After an uneventful walk home, I go to my room and change out of the clothes into some fleece pajamas. I see a photo of my grandfather, who recently died. Some background: My grandfather was the best male role model in my life. I would help him with whatever he did, and we were good friends. I was doing this since the age of 5. This man taught me how to read at the age of 20 months. This man is my hero. I decided to bring my ¼ ounce of cannabis, my vaporizer, along with my laptop into his construction building. I didn't have any idea I would have an experience that would give me closure and relief regarding his death.

It is now 2:10. I get a jacket, a space heater, and some headphones in addition to the aforementioned items, and head down to the shop. I see a bunch of chairs he made, but they're too hard and uncomfortable to sit on, so I sat on a padded chair which was extremely comfortable. I hook everything up, and sit in the chair, and pack up a whip load. I look at his photo, and feel a strong feeling of longing. I turn on the only appropriate music for the moment, Led Zeppelin's Misty Mountain Hop, and inadvertantly notice that the time is 2:12. As I took my hit, the last thing I remember in terms of non-illusion/hallucination was 'why don't you take a good look at yourself and describe what you see.' I had my lungs full of cannabis vapor, and I could feel the warmth of the ~400 degree THC entering my bloodstream. It felt like an alien energy that was somehow both alien and more familiar than I could comprehend. I don't remember exhaling. I remember my vision turning into liquid, flowing towards the upper right of my visual field, and having a very elegant flowing path for the liquid. It was like dropping food coloring into water, yet somehow more dimensional than that. As soon as it began, and yet an eternity later, I found my world reeling. I lost physical control of my body and went limp. Somehow I was standing at this point, and I felt myself fall. Luckily, I fell backwards into my chair. The feeling of standing may have been an illusion generated by my mind, I cannot be sure. All I could say as I returned to 'normal' was “Wow.”.

I check my laptop's internal clock. It was now 2:16. The song that is on is Four Sticks, and interestingly enough the first lyrics I can recall hearing as I became 'consciously aware' again was 'ohh, baby, the river's red, ahm, baby, in my head there's a funny feeling going on.' It felt very synchronous. I let myself calm down a little bit, and looked around reminiscing of my grandfather and all of the fun I had with him, and all of the love I had for him. It wasn't until 2:30 that I built up the bravery to take another hit, the first time in my life fearing cannabis, and rightly so. I 'hit that shit', and hold in the hit as long as I can. Every point in my vision became an inverted triangle, like an equilateral equiangular 'Y'. This seemed like an impossible way for things to mesh together without intersecting, but it looked like a growing crystal, very reminiscent of the process of crystallizing the mescaline extract. It was vibrating and undulating, and seemed extremely poetic. This visual effect ceased to be, but I was never mentally changed as profoundly as soon as I could see my grandfather's photo in front of me. I felt as if I was a child again, and felt his oversized hand on my shoulder. I felt him reassuring me, that everything will be alright, and that he will forever love me.

The song on at this point was stairway to heaven, and I started crying. Not from terror. Not from pain. From the feeling of extreme pure love that my grandfather's memory was giving me. I apologized for anything I'd ever done that disappointed him, and he reassured me that nothing could ever disappoint him enough to warrant an apology. I snapped out of this trance, but continued to cry. I was feeling the emotion of sadness associated with the song, the love of my ancestors, and everything I could think of. As I exhaled, I noticed I could see my breath. I saw my grandfather's smiling face in the visible vapor. I recognized many of my departed relatives that I only knew through stories or photographs. I realized why native americans used peyote to contact their ancestors for advice.

As soon as I gathered myself emotionally, I looked at the clock. It was already 3:30, and my laptop was already a good distance into the next album on the list, Led Zeppelin 1. I felt a strange leaving, and suddenly I realized that I was just stoned. No more expansion of my visual field, no more tactile sensations, just the 'typical' feeling of being stoned. I decided to pack up and go back inside. I do so, contemplate some of my experiences, and hit the hay. I was only slightly hung over in the morning, but of course my breakfast of piracetam and cannabis relieved this.

In reflection, the set and setting of being in my grandfather's domain where I had a lot of formative moments, both positive and negative. Mescaline is nothing to be fooled around with, but if I keep myself reassured I have no problems. Shulgin was absolutely correct when he called 2c-d pharmacological tofu, as it just adds to the taste of whatever else you had. I don't know if the piracetam did anything, but that is because I never did the cocktail of mescaline and 2c-d forever. The piracetam may have accounted for the extreme potency of the cannabis, and the quick come down.

Thank you for reading this extremely personal experience, and for your time.

Exp Year: 2004ExpID: 39562
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Mar 9, 2005Views: 17,847
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Cacti - columnar (10), 2C-D (103) : Combinations (3), Various (28)

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