Citation: nervewing. "A Million Vistas of Predestination: An Experience with 3-MeO-PCP, 4-AcO-DET, DALT & Ketamine (exp108602)". Erowid.org. Jan 13, 2017. erowid.org/exp/108602
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T0:00-3-MeO-PCP Taken in gel cap. Friend comes over to do acid. Soon another one. They drop in my bedroom. Weíre all hanging out and drawing pictures.
T1:00-Im feeling right dissed, the sort of functional mild dis that I sought for being around people. I can sit back on my bed and close my eyes and vibrate into my surroundings as people all around me are talking about whatever. Itís numbing warmth, typical of dissociatives. Every movement feels like its being propelled or pulled by strings. The room seems to be shrinking away from me, not physically but it feels like the fabric of reality is gently being pulled down a drain until it reaches irrelevance.
T1:30-I administer a capsule of 4-AcO-DET. Not much happens for a while. Still only feel the 3-MeO-PCP. People are still hanging around in my room. The 4-AcO-DET has its onset marked by a sudden increase in weightlessness, a perpetual motion of floating upwards, like I have become flames.
T3:04-Everything is starting to really kick up now. I am definitely on a two pronged assault of psychedelics and dissociatives. Everything is blurry but clear. Like an object will be hyper focused, but have an aura of blurriness that drowns out its surroundings. The body high is immaculate, I am being massaged by a swarm of vibrating cushions that crawl and clamber over my skin. Its enough to distract me from the nausea that is setting in.
T3:20-I am feeling even more distant now. There was that dissociative feeling before of my space draining away from me. Now even the living beings in my room whom I was anchored to drift away to the realm of inanimate objects. I have shifted my reality into a plane where loneliness is the only possible existence, it is solipsistic and I am sitting in a haze. This is ok I am ok with this. This isnít a negative feeling at all. It is also no longer the feeling of the world being sucked away, but it is the sense that it is creeping and crawling away from me, like the pseudopods of an amoeba. It is a very dreamy derealization. Nausea and chills are setting in harder. 4-AcO-DET in the past had a pretty hefty bodyload, and it is definitely manifesting here.
4-AcO-DET in the past had a pretty hefty bodyload, and it is definitely manifesting here.
Patterns begin to appear on surfaces, flashing and pulsing, and dark blue / teal in color. They are floral rosettes, and various patterns that follow a motif of blossoming from a central point. In terms of open eyed visuals, things are beginning to now visually appear smaller, they also seem to be smoothing down and paring into their most basic forms. Like a mottled surface will flatten into an array of blocks of solid color, then adorned with the aforementioned blue floral patterns. Everyone goes downstairs to watch a movie. I opt to stay in my room.
T4:00-I pop downstairs briefly to ask whether I should administer ketamine. I feel anxiety about tripping so hard when there are so many people in my house. I figure at least informing them of the drugs I am about to use will lessen some of the burden. I am still apprehensive though. I go up to my room and smoke a bowl of DALT. I feel like I am being unraveled into ribbons, polychrome and intertwining. I am razor sharp, I am an arrow piercing through the turbulence that has become my reality, flowers blossoming in my path. There is no doubt in my mind now. I must go deeper. I am ready.
T4:30-Somehow in this state I manage to crush some ketamine and cut it into a line. The onset feels immediate, itís like my mind is a snowglobe and I just shook it up. I feel like I am floating in water, my entire room has been flooded. Time kinda stops being a thing after this. I remember lying on my bed, and having it feel like there is warmth rising up from beneath me, I feel like I have become gaseous and this warmth is carrying my form upwards. It feels like steam. Psychedelic visuals begin to kick into next gear, with my entire field of vision warping, melting, and bubbling. Glowing tracers and rippling auras begin to form all around me, obscuring my existence in a beautiful but chaotic morass. I have notes from this but honestly they are completely incoherent.
To the best of my memory, it gradually felt like I had undergone a total paradigm shift. I kept falling into trances. Every time I fell into a trance, it was like an entire new world was being generated around me, a world with its own set of physical laws and properties. Within each world that formed, I found myself to inherently carry the knowledge of its properties and history. I knew exactly where I was, exactly what I was doing there, and exactly how everything there worked. But in each world I was stricken by a longing to return home, I felt like I was out and about but shirking some responsibility, a responsibility to keep track of my body back in this world. It was as though my body was a toddler, prone to wandering into danger, and each time I travelled into a world I was leaving it unattended, potentially in harms way. So each journey I made left me with a distinct feeling of anxiety and irresponsibility. I was tripping right fucking hard. My eyes would drift shut as of their own volition, catapulting me into a trance and a new world. If I could remind myself of how my body worked, I could open my eyes and briefly pull myself out to check on my body and make sure it was in working order. But I would soon accidentally drift off into another realm again.
One recurring theme was predestination and predetermination. Across all of these realms was this foreboding sense of omniscience, of experiencing the entirety of time at once. Visually, it at one point manifested as an infinite grid, each block a vectored point in time and space, all the possibilities of existence laid out before me, and an indescribable sentience dictating my path through this grid. Freaky stuff. This sense of predetermination was very ominous, it felt as if some disaster was lined up for me, and I was blindly careening towards it. The other ominous feeling was that I was hacking into the fabric of reality, and that something did not want me doing that. It felt as though I was going to stumble upon an infinite darkness that would shatter my mind permanently, that this was forbidden knowledge that I was touching upon.
Otherwise, I recall seeing a lot of fractalizing shapes and repeated sequences of forms, each one gradually shrinking in size and tapering into infinity. Great segmented forms loomed over me. In one I remember floating in a shallow sea, this immense segmented pink sentient tower looming above me. There was constant worry about what those beneath me were thinking of me and saying. I thought I heard my name. I thought they were talking about me. I was tripping wayyyyyy too hard to be near anyone. I was deeply shaken.
At some points I managed to hoist myself up to get a drink from the bathroom. I actually managed to walk and operate a faucet. I almost became trapped in my bathroom as it became a cage of magenta iridescent forms. It felt like the world was a rocking boat, typical of dissociatives.
It felt like the world was a rocking boat, typical of dissociatives.
Back in my room I continued to drift in and out of these worlds. At this point I was getting more used to it, and I had the precedent of my body remaining restrained and peaceful. I allowed myself to drift further, felt more content and less anxious. God I wish I could recall these worlds, perhaps I need to trigger this state again to revisit them?
My reality had been shattered, and each shard painted a different color. One world in this stage of the trip was simply a vast nothingness pockmarked with an infinite 3 dimensional array of glowing sigils, representing some language I could never comprehend. In another, the ambient sounds around me began to take up synesthetic representations as a fantastic bestiary of sound creatures. Music was incredible in this state, each sound contributing to a diverse jungle or coral reef of blossoming and personified phonics.
Eventually I settled down enough that I was no longer accidentally drifting off into different realms. I stepped outside my room. The whole house was dark. I turned to face a wall, and began to tap and dance my fingers across it. They rippled wherever they touched and from each point of contact a glowing reticulated pattern bloomed, looking like a tangled circuitboard, or the veins of an insects wings. I was able to pretty coherently talk to my friend who was sitting on the stairs. Floral patterns still adorned the darkness all around me. They didnít want to watch the movie so we went back to my room. Eventually the other friends followed.
T6:30-What a wild ride. I find myself coming down very rapidly. 4-AcO-DET and ketamine both have very short durations. A good recipe for a short but incredibly punctuated and acute experience. We hang around my room and talk about stuff. Eventually people go downstairs and I find myself comforting aforementioned friend who was on the stairs as they seemed upset. I am able to coherently communicate and connect with emotions. Iím not sure if I was any consolation but oh well. Afterwards the both of us go to a party together. Riding public transport was fun, I was still a bit loopy and dissociated. By the time I arrive at the party (T8:30) I am mostly down, even smoking a blunt upon arrival did not really alter me further.
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