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Everything Was Perfect
MDMA (Ecstasy)
by K8
Citation:   K8. "Everything Was Perfect: An Experience with MDMA (Ecstasy) (exp10359)". Erowid.org. Sep 10, 2004. erowid.org/exp/10359

 
DOSE:
T+ 0:00
0.5 tablets oral MDMA (pill / tablet)
  T+ 0:30 0.5 tablets oral MDMA (pill / tablet)
  T+ 0:59   repeated smoked Tobacco - Cigarettes  
  T+ 0:59   inhaled Inhalants - Nitrites  
  T+ 0:59   smoked Cannabis  
I want to share my first (of two) experiences of popping ecstasy, mainly because after reading some of the other mystical experiences I feel like I have to release and share the wonder of mine too. I had never taken anything other than marijuana and was against anything heavier because of the stories you hear and the way I was brought up. But some friends had been into them and other drugs such as charlie for a good year now. I was concerned and taken aback to begin with but had been highly curious and was uninterested in trying it out for myself. But as time went on and I became more used to talking about it and it became a little less alien to be associated with it I began toying with the idea of trying it...just once for the experience. Not to just be able to say that I had tried it but just so I could understand and perhaps appreciate what the big deal was. Curiosity lingered for quite a while until eventually a 'big night out' was arranged at an eccentric, hard house club in town, renound for its hard core 'drug' clubbers.

I met a group of about 7 friends outside the club just short of 10pm. All users themselves. I hadn't eaten a huge amount, random snacks throughout the day like crisps and pasta and didn't have anything alcoholic to drink. I took half a pill in a toilet cubicle about 10 minutes later. I couldn't believe what I was doing...all those times I'd said weed doesn't lead onto heavier drugs, was this a BIG mistake I am happy I don't want to die. Death scares me, if not most people. I guess it was natural for me to feel this way, it was a big deal to me. Heavy.

We all chilled outside in a courtyard, people chattin away. People always asking if I was ok, which I was, but nervous and wondering what, if anything was going to happen. I sat silently for a while pondering. Nothing was happening, after about half an hour I was thinking this is crap, nothing's happening. I shouldn't have been so judgemental!

About 10minutes later I took the other half and we all went for a dance. I tried to get into the music, I usually can I love dancing but my mind was thinking about what was happening in my system. I didn't really notice a sudden uplifting surge or even a gradual one but my friends were going to sit outside and I was like 'no, I'm happy, I wanna stay n dance!' I was happily boogying away, grinning at everyone as if it was the first time I'd got into a club and everyone else seemed content too, yet they weren't content they were above that. It was as if they understood why I was smiling, which I wasn't sure about I just knew that I was having a wicked time. During each song I kept saying to myself, right after this song I'll get some water and go outside, but then I couldn't leave, my body just wanted to dance, the music was mind blowing and I couldn't stop.

Eventually, I couldn't be sure of how much later I got a pint of water from the bar and walked down a corridor to get to the courtyard. I honestly did not feel my feet touch the ground, it was like I was weightless, some sort of supernatural being floating along, this feeling was sensational, utter magic. Now normally when you walk around in a busy club you can't help but walk into people and people push passed you...getting anywhere takes time and can be quite aggravating but walking along was like being a goddess, everyone seemed to move aside, I slotted and slid through gaps easily and discreetly as if people around me could sense I was there. It was highly surreal.

I made it outside and my posse were sitting down, asking me how I was feeling. I stood staring at them with the most enourmous smile possible, eyes sparkling, I couldn't speak, what could I say? What words could I use to describe how I feel. I was in ecstasy. They wanted me to sit and talk to them but I didn't want the space like floating sensation to leave me. So I stood eyes wandering slowly, my mind impelled and shocked by how I felt, nothing could have prepared me and no one could have made me understood how you feel when high, even I had trouble describing how I felt to myself. Eventually I crouched down, my jaw basically locked open in an enormous smile of pleasure and I basically said 'I feel a-m-a-z-I-n-g' with great emphasis. People were intently watching and listening to me, they really did care about what I had to say. I then spent a good hour trying to describe the way I felt but it was impossible.

I began by saying how I felt as high as the clouds, higher even. But then I thought NO...I am WAY above them, higher than it's possible to be. I was comparing it to being like an angel, heavenly. But everything I said just couldn't describe fully how I felt, that was frustrating in some respects and yet it wasn't because people seemed to get where I was coming from anyway. I had strong emotions and cared about everything and people's feelings so much. Sometimes if I saw someone not smiling I just couldn't comprehend because the universe was so immense and beautiful and I was surrounded by such love and wonder that to not smile was shocking! Everything was perfect! Well the only thing that wasn't perfect and which kept baffling me was that I would light a cigarette, chatter on for a bit then when I looked back at my cigarette it had burnt right down to the butt before I had an opportunity to take a drag on it which was highly humourous.

I had the most incredible deep and meaningfuls and spoke about things that were quite bizarre. When a car alarm went off, it wasn't annoying or loud or disturbing, but it fitted in with the music, the car wanted to join in the party and the flashing lights just added to the idea. You could meet a random stranger and speak to them and open you heart out to them and them to you, you had a mutual understanding of each other and cared for each other.

I had energy in every part of my body. My fingers fiddled constantly I had to do things with them to keep them occupied. Playing with a bottle of water, smoking constantly, playing with a sponge (like a stress reliever and it absorbs sweat). Glow sticks were fun too, I seemed to think they were utterly incredible!!!! I also chewed gum all night, even my jaw had loads of energy.

We all chipped together to get some poppers which I had had before. I took one sniff, sat up bolt straight, had a few seconds of freaky highness then chundered. I couldn't stop apologising to everyone, probably so much that it got annoying because it was fine. I still felt high afterwards though. From time to time I had what I would describe as 'moments', where I would stop talking, sit up straight and focus on my breathing deeply so I didn't spew. They lasted about 5 seconds, I just sort of needed time out to concentrate.

The biggest dilemma was between dancing and chatting. I wanted to do both but that was not possible. Eventually I was dragged off to dance and that's how I spent the rest of the night at the club. The music was immense and so appropriate and captivating. I could keep going without a break for hours, but I took constant sips of water. The raging heat in the club seemed to boost the feeling to the max, although I was 'floating' less now as I had passed the pinnicle I was still high as a kite (higher though). Dancing was fabulous, it was also great watching other people, their expressions and they way they moved, I was enthralled. When they played the last tune just after 4am, I didn't wanna stop, I just wanted to keep dancing I didn't need the music anymore.

Anyway we all went back to someone's house, passed a few spliffs around and watched the matrix. By this time I was a little more subdued, although I could still feel the ecstasy lingering in my system, I was happy but I wanted to be back in the club feeling the gliding sensation again, I really want to capture that feeling in a box and share it and use it when I needed an uplift. Bu then I guess I would feel that way all the time and it wouldn't be as special. I didn't sleep that night. We all stayed up. About 10am me and my mate went to get some cigarettes etc from the local shop. I jumped at the idea of going for a walk...it was like seeing the world in a whole new light. Earth seemed kinda special and I felt like part of it. I felt content through and through, happiness was what mattered. I went home about midday and pottered about in my bedroom doing nothing in particular. I only write poetry rarely when I get an urge, and I wrote one that day about the way I felt. I felt so happy and content yet longed to feel the way I did when I had the levitation type sensation because that was truly, eye-wateringly powerful and incredible.

I don't know whether humans were ever meant to experience those feelings but what I do know is that natural or supernatural that was one of the best nights of my life and sometimes just sometimes when I think about pills a lot I can feel some of those feelings I felt that night, not as immense but it's there. I have no regrets, I will remember that night always and it makes me smile from inside out and I feel excitable, like the blood is flowing through my veins faster than before, and then I really want some.

Exp Year: 2001ExpID: 10359
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Sep 10, 2004Views: 18,692
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MDMA (3), Inhalants - Nitrites (147) : Glowing Experiences (4), First Times (2), Rave / Dance Event (18)

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