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Drug Humor
LSD From Foster's Beer
Originally published on the Alt.Drugs Newsgroup
[ NOTE:  This file is H.U.M.O.R., it is a J.O.K.E., it contains heavy quantities
of S.A.R.C.A.S.M. and we're all very tired of getting e-mail from people who
just don't seem to G.E.T. I.T.  Do we really need to put disclaimers on this
telling you not to do it? ]

Date: 6 Jun 1995 09:59:01 GMT
Newsgroups: alt.drugs
Subject: Re: LSD recipe

Anonymous@nowhere.com writes:

>My apologies for submitting this old request, but could someone
>please send me the reccipe for LSD.

>Many thanks:
HEY, ACID IS REEEEELY EAZE 2 MAKE, D00D!!!!!!1!!1!!

S0ME GU1ZE SA1D "1F Y0U HAVE 2 ASK, Y0U'LL NEVUR KN0W, BUT TH1S IZ 4
REEL!!!1!!1!!!"



Dear Friend, My name is Dave Rhodes. In September 1988 my car was reposessed and the bill collectors were hounding me like you wouldn't believe. I was laid off and my unemployment checks had run out. The only escape I had from the pressure of failure was my lab set and chemistry textbook. I longed to turn my advocation into my vocation. Follow my recipe and your dreams will come true. Sincerely yours, Dave Rhodes . ooo ooooo .o. oooo oooo oooooooooooo `88. .888' .888. `888 .8P' `888' `8 888b d'888 .8"888. 888 d8' 888 8 Y88. .P 888 .8' `888. 88888[ 888oooo8 8 `888' 888 .88ooo8888. 888`88b. 888 " 8 Y 888 .8' `888. 888 `88b. 888 o o8o o888o o88o o8888o o888o o888o o888ooooood8 ___________________8_8______________________ ___ | |88...........ad88888ba...88888888ba,..| | /'___) | |88..........d8".8.8."8b..88......`"8b.| || (__ | |88..........Y8,.8.8......88........`8b| || ,__) _ _ _ | |88..........`Y8aaaaa,....88.........88| || | /'_` ) ___ ( )_ | |88............`"8"8"8b,..88.........88| |(_) ( ( | |/',__)| ,_) | |88..............8.8.`8b..88.........8P| | `\__,_)\__, \| | | |88..........Y8a.8.8.a8P..88.......a8P.| | (____/| |_ | |88888888888.."Y88888P"...88888888Y"'..| | `\__) -------------------8-8---------------------- . ___ _ _ _ ( _`\ ( )_ ( ) _ /'_`\ | (_(_) __ __ | ,_)| |__ (_) ___(_) ) | ________|\ `\__ \ /'__`\ /'__`\ | | | _ `\| |/',__) /'/' (________ > . ( )_) |( ___/( ___/ | |_ | | | || |\__, \ |_| |/ `\____)`\____)`\____) `\__)(_) (_)(_)(____/ (_) It's a SINGLE DOSE of LSD -- 50 MICROgrams. On the STREET, it sells for about TEN DOLLARS. It's small enough to fit on the head of a pin. _ _ _ _ ___ | | | | | | (_) |__ \ ____ __ _ _ __ __| | | |_| |__ _ ___ ) | ________|\ /__/ | / _` | '_ \ / _` | | __| '_ \| / __|/ / (________ > | | | _ _ | (_| | | | | (_| | | |_| | | | \__ \_| |/ |___|/ (_|_|_)__,_|_| |_|\__,_| \__|_| |_|_|___(_) It's a SMALL cube of PURE LSD -- 30 GRAMS. On the STREET, it sells for a AMAZING SIX HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS. It fits in your pocket and, more importantly, YOU CAN MAKE IT IN YOUR OWN HOME FOLLOWING MY SIMPLE INSTRUCTIONS. . ___ __ _ _ |_ _|/ _| _ _ ___ _ _ ___ __ _(_) __| | | || |_ | | | |/ _ \| | | | / __|/ _` | |/ _` | | || _| | |_| | (_) | |_| | \__ \ (_| | | (_| | |___|_| \__, |\___/ \__,_| |___/\__,_|_|\__,_| |___/ d8' I8, 8 ,8I 88 d8' d8' `8b d8b d8' 88 d8' "" "8, ,8"8, ,8" 88 "" Y8 8P Y8 8P ,adPPYba, 8b db d8 88 `8b d8' `8b d8' a8" "8a `8b d88b d8' 88 `8a a8' `8a a8' 8b d8 `8b d8'`8b d8' "" `8a8' `8a8' "8a, ,a8" `8bd8' `8bd8' aa ooooooooo. `8' `8' `"YbbdP"' .o8 YP YP 88 .o. `888 `Y88. "888 888 888 .d88' .ooooo. .oooo. .oooo888 .ooooo. ooo. .oo. 888 888ooo88P' d88' `88b `P )88b d88' `888 d88' `88b `888P"Y88b Y8P 888`88b. 888ooo888 .oP"888 888 888 888 888 888 888 `8' 888 `88b. 888 .o d8( 888 888 888 888 888 888 888 .o. o888o o888o `Y8bod8P' `Y888""8o `Y8bod88P" `Y8bod8P' o888o o888o Y8P . LSD can be derived from the ergot virus which is commonly found on hops and wheat. While it's possible to scrape the virus off the stalks of these plants, there's a much easier way to get ergot... _____ _ _ ____ | ___|__ ___| |_ ___ _ __( )__ | __ ) ___ ___ _ __ | |_ / _ \/ __| __/ _ \ '__|/ __| | _ \ / _ \/ _ \ '__| | _| (_) \__ \ || __/ | \__ \ | |_) | __/ __/ | |_| \___/|___/\__\___|_| |___/ |____/ \___|\___|_| Foster's Beer is one of the few beers made with ergot-containing grains, and it is definitely the most available. First, you'll need some big, blue cans of Foster's Beer, which you can purchase at most local supermarkets. 1. Buy 12 cans of Foster's Beer. In a pan, heat the beer to a slow boil, in order to remove the water and isolate the ergot-containing compounds. Boiling off the water should take approximately 36 hours -- don't rush the process, or you risk damaging the ergot-containing compounds. As the beer evaporates, simply add more beer. In this way, eventually, you'll have the essential compounds from all 12 beers in the bottom of the pan. 2. It's now necessary to pH neutralize the slightly acidic ergotamine solution, using a weak base. No-fat household milk is ideal for the job. Mix in 1/4 cup of no-fat milk (be *sure* not to use milk with any milkfat) and wait 30 minutes for the solution to reach equilibrium. At this point, you have a weak solution of ergotamine with which you can continue the process. It should be a creamy brown color and a bit gooey. Be careful, because ergotamine is ____ _____ ___ ____ _ __ __ ____ ___ ___ ____ ___ _ _ | _ \| ____|/ _ \| _ \| | \ \ / / | _ \ / _ \_ _/ ___| / _ \| \ | | | | | | _| | |_| | | | | | \ V / | |_) | | | | |\___ \| | | | \| | | |_| | |___| _ | |_| | |___| | | __/| |_| | | ___) | |_| | |\ | |____/|_____|_| |_|____/|_____|_| |_| \___/___|____/ \___/|_| \_| 3. Next, it's necessary to combine lysine with the ergotamine solution. Lysine is available in most health food stores. You'll need about 2 grams of lysine (that's 20 100 mg pills). Cool the ergotamine solution to near freezing in your freezer (to avoid desosphyxiation with CO2 in the air). Now, simply grind the pills into a powder and mix into your ergotamine solution. You now have lysergic acid. 4. You *want* LSD, lysergic acid diethylamide, however, and so you need to ethylate your compound and then ammonate it. Sound hard? ___ _ _ _ _ _ |_ _| |_ (_)___ _ __( ) |_| | | || __| | / __| '_ \/| __| | | || |_ | \__ \ | | || |_|_| |___|\__| |_|___/_| |_| \__(_) Simply add ethyl alcohol to the lysergic acid mixture. Pure grain alcohol is ideal, but Bacardi 151 or some other high-proof alcohol will work fine. Add 1 cup of pure alcohol, 1 1/3 cup of 151 proof, or 2 cups of 100 proof. Now, to remove the hydroxyls, add 6 cups of 4% hydrogen peroxide (available at your local pharmacy) or 24 cups of 1% (stronger is better) Be careful, because now your compound is _ _ _ _ _ __ __ _ _ _ _ | | | (_) __ _| |__ | |_ _ \ \ / /__ | | __ _| |_(_) | ___ | |_| | |/ _` | '_ \| | | | | \ \ / / _ \| |/ _` | __| | |/ _ \ | _ | | (_| | | | | | |_| | \ V / (_) | | (_| | |_| | | __/ |_| |_|_|\__, |_| |_|_|\__, | \_/ \___/|_|\__,_|\__|_|_|\___| |___/ |___/ [Keep it away from open flames] 5. Now, for the final step in preparation, add 4 ounces of pure ammonia to the solution and let sit at room temperature for 3 days. This waiting period allows for the slow reaction to take place -- at higher temperatures this reaction occurs much more quickly, but you risk decomposition of the LSD. At the end of the three days, you've done it! _ ____ ____ | | / ___|| _ \ | | \___ \| | | | | |___ ___) | |_| | |_____|____/|____/ The expected yield of LSD is 100 grams, over 1,000,000 doses! Be VERY, VERY careful at this point, because the solution you're dealing with is *extremely* *concentrated*. If any gets on your hands, you could be tripping for years! Now, put about 20 gallons of water in a barrel,and stir in the LSD using a large oar. At this level of dilution, a 1/4 cup contains about 100 hits. You can dispense the hits using an eye dropper (3 or 4 drops per hit).