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Spiral Erowid Zip Hoodie
This black mid-weight zip hoodie (80/20) has front pockets,
an Erowid logo on front chest, and a spiral design on back.
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I am a popular commodity amoung some people I know, I am the only one
who knows how to roll a joint. Now this is because I tend to be older
than most of the people who smoke dope around me and have a bit more
intense life lesson than others.

I like rolling joints. It is a very viscereal pleasure, you get to
play with the nifty green stuff and it gives your hands something to
do. This is especially nice if it is good if you don't wanna get
really stoned but just catch a nice buzz and instead of keeping your
hands busy smoking you keep 'em busy rolling.

I like that green stuff. It's cool, kinda like oregano or some other green 
bulk spice but you know it aint. It has the smell, strange how
so many people don't groove to it, ahh well learnd response, like
appreciating good scotch. It reminds me of harvest day, right after
the fruit has been reaped and the oils and esthers fill the air. Very
good green homey feel to it. Then you get into carding the stuff to
take out the seeds and stems and to break it down so it will roll
effectively. It has to feel right, a bit drier than the best feel,
where it is so sticky with resin that all you can do is load it into
a bowl and do bong hits until your brain goes numb. 

You gotta decide how fine you are gonna sift the shake. I know some
who remove everything until nothing is left but a fine red dust. I
don't like that, it takes too long, and casues too many volatiles to
be released as you card it, and makes really lousey joints that pack
too tightly and don't draw worth shit. We all roll joints to match our
personality, my joins tend to have stuff in them that shouldn't be
there, leave things on the tray that SHOULD be, double paper walled,
kinda fat in the middle, nice where it meats the mouth, and fulla
garbage that gets burnt. 

Once you got the grass ready you them have to get you papers in order.
The way I learned to make a joint was to make a boat out of the paper.
Take the paper in you hand so that the gummed side is up and the
crease is away from you, the short sides are called edges and the long
sides are called sides. You fold the end towards the side, each in turn. 
First you take the left edge and you fold it about the top corner of
that edge, bringing the lower corner up to where it meets the top side
and the edge is perfectly in line with the side. Then you do the same
thing about the bottom corner, and then you do it for each of the
other corners on the other side. You have to make sure all the creases
are away from you, then, from where the two bisectors meet on out to
the edge you fold agains the crease, you fold in the same place but in
the other direction of the original crease

You do that with each edge and you get a little paper boat into which
you can shift your sift. After having thoughly raked the herb you wind
up with a little mound of grass, how big depends on how strong the
grass is, how big the papers are, and how stoned you wanna get. I
usually use a bit more than would fill a large bowl. You pick the
gras up between you fingers and dust it into the paper boat. Try to
get it even but don't worry about it you can fix it. Towards the
bottom of the mound you run into stuff too fine pick up with your
fingers, I consider it a point of grace to card once, and once only,
it back into a smalled mound and then try to get at least one good
pinch or two from it and let the rest of the shit go back into the
baggie until one is scaping for anything green that burns. As you load
the paper you are gonna spill dust, just let it go. Make sure you load over 
the tray and you will either get it with the cleanup card or smoke it
some other time.

Now you take your boat full of dope and begin leveling it. Stir it
about with your finger to balance as much as possible and then you
will begin rolling it. Make sure the gummed side is away from you if
there is one. You roll it to settle the grass and get it
even, and ya try to get it to spread out towards the edges. This is
where people who use doller bills use them, I always thought it was
too much hassle to fuck with. Once you have it spread to suit your
desires you then have to roll the paper up into a joint. This is the
tricky part. I always try to finish rolling it so that it is very near
the ungummed edge and then to just fold that over and roll it up. Try
to get it a bit tighter than you wanna some cause it will looesen as you
roll it up. Just before your finished you have to lick the gum. The
best I ever saw anyone do that was this little oriental girl I knew
who had the most pointed tounge that was always moist. She had absolute
control over her tounge, she could make it do things that would give
you an orgasm just watching the movements. I being who I am tend to
either slobber a bit too much or not get enough on there, it could be
better but it works. You finish rolling it up and and then you gotta
close the sides.

The best way I have found to close the sides is to just roll one end
and figure what gets caught gets caught and turn it so the other end
is upright and then use a small poker to pull out things which stick
out and push in the stuff that needs to go inside. Roll the ends
counter to each other and lick to close. I got friends that stick half
the damned joint in thier mouths, and others who just touch it to
thier tounge. I am undecided, the wetter it gets the better the joint
is but it just grates my aesthetics. Let it dry and you gotta joint. I
tend to double wrap mine, by rolling that joint in annother, it
strengths that fragine middle section and generally keeps a tight nice
looking joint. I also tend to tear off that messy end, the one that
caught what got caught, to suck on, and use the flashy paper tail to
light it.