Visionary Cactus Guide
Dear Elven Friends,
Just thought I'd deliver my latest dream world madness to your door. The following report is not real and is based solely the expression of my imagination and lucid dreaming capabilities. This particular dream sequence involved my first meeting with Mescalito. He came to me in a vision of billions of twinkling crystalline sulfate stars suspended in the clear night sky. I've read many things about this particular compound and I've been wanting to experience it for a very long time. Completely ecstatic with my good fortune, I couldn't wait to attempt the full lucid dream experiment. Unfortunately for me, this particular dream would turn out to be quite the nightmare.
The set and setting couldn't have been more perfect for my prize. I found myself on vacation in a beautiful beach house with my very close friend Juicy P. Spirits were high, very high in fact as we bathed in the bliss of oceanic tranquility. After settling in to our new home Juicy and I decided to call forth the grand meeting with Mescalito. Wanting to make the most of the opportunity I decided to go for the full 500 mg experience. Juicy opted for a smaller dose of 375 mg to match her lighter frame as she's generally more sensitive to entheogenics. We split the dose into two capsules and ingested them one hour apart (a la DM Turner)with an empty stomach thinking this would alleviate some of the somatic discomforts. (This little detail turned out to be the punch line of a most hilarious joke much later in the evening).
Just about the time we took the second capsule I noticed a nasty sensation brewing in my stomach, and soon the nausea engulfed me. It was similar to the feelings I've had with ayahuasca brews, but with more of a concentrated and contracted energetic effect that made it feel quite "stuck". Juicy began experiencing cramps in her lower intestines and laid down on her side to roll with the punches. As we were climbing towards peak we maintained an optimistic outlook and I assured us both that it was just part of the process and it would soon pass. Over the next hour the nausea and somatic effects became much worse than I ever could have imagined, with my entire focus directed at managing the sickness in my body. The nausea and irritation wasn't enough to catalyze an episode of involuntary projectile puking like some of the ayahuasca brews I've had. Rather, it seemed somewhat paralyzing in this regard. My stomach was clearly confused, not quite sure what to do with the shards of crystalline glass that I had just ingested. After another hour of suffering I suddenly became acutely aware of my sense of smell and I found myself repulsed by the smell of my dear friend Juicy. Without even considering it, I told my lady friend that she smelled like she needed to take a shit. Somewhat surprised by my comment, she took a few moments to contemplate it and then decided to hit the bathroom. Hearing the sounds of rapturous farts and heaves flying out the bathroom I was suddenly called to learn how to puke. I slowly opened the bathroom door and saw Juicy perched on the toilet seat with a big fat grin on her face. "So glad you decided to join me!" she said. "Time to get it out baby!" I said, sticking my finger down my throat with a vengeance. Frothy, foamy, acid clouds rising up and hitting the bath tub with a soft distinctive splat. And so it was... Puking by candlelight.
Ding Ding. First round. I did my best, but Mescalito took me out with a technical KO in the 12th. At least I went the distance with him...
The stuff was relentless. Just about the only time we weren't physically suffering were the few moments between the bathroom and the bed. We continued trying different things to get our minds off the sickness. Taking a walk out on the moon lit beach was a good distraction for a little while. But it wasn't long before we were both purging ourselves along the sandy shore. The cycles continued round after round, hour after hour, until we were too exhausted to do anything else but lay in bed and laugh. Mescalito has a distinctive sense of humor. I found myself to be quite the comedian while dreaming of the cacti lands. We spent the last remaining hours of our experience laughing until we cried.
I was quite surprised with the high and it wasn't at all what I had expected. Even with the full 500 mg dose the visuals and head trip were not particularly strong, but then again I'm used to things like DMT. I can't imagine how anyone could mistake mescaline for LSD as I've seen reported in some of the older literature. It's just an entirely different animal. Juicy reported that her experience was completely lacking in the visionary department, with visuals happening only if she created them. Perhaps that's just it, the visions require a focus. One thing is for sure, my focus wasn't free to explore such things on this particular journey. It was a very earthy physical frequency for me, even much more so than the humble mushroom. A very solar drug all around.
As I look back and laugh at this most excellent of bummers, I have to say the fact that I would even consider dreaming of this substance again scares me. Perhaps Mescalito might be better tamed with needle and syringe (oh my!).