Citation: Zane F. "A Psychedelic Voyage Into the Light and Dark: An Experience with 2C-E (exp96502)". Erowid.org. Oct 2, 2012. erowid.org/exp/96502
**I realize that making the decision of taking an unknown chemical of an unknown dosage was not the wisest. I was fifteen and made a very uneducated dangerous decision the night I took 2C-E**
This is the story of my first earth shattering, psychedelic trip experience. I had several people tell me I should take 2C-E for my first trip numerous times. However, every time I would reply, 'No, 2C-E is a research chemical and little is known about how it works on the brain and body.' Another thing that turned me off was the long duration (a friend had explained I could trip for about 10hrs if I took a 20MG capsule).
My best friend at the time who we will call N had been out of town for a couple of weeks so some friends and I planned a party for her return. Before we arrived N informed K, a good friend of ours, and I that her brother along with others who would be attending the party were tripping on “acid”. N stated she was thinking about dropping some as well. After N’s explanation that LSD can be taken in small dosages to achieve only a threshold effect much like psilocybin, I had decided that I would too partake of the acid, but only an amount that would have me giggly.
When we arrive, N’s brother H and C (an acutance whom I had only met a few times) walk with us to the kitchen where C places a rolled up bill next to 4 tall bumps of a white powder on a dvd case. At this point I’m thinking, “That’s the ‘acid’? It doesn’t look like LSD to me. No one snorts LSD, but they had said it was acid and I trust these people.” Ignoring the fact that this substance clearly not LSD, I insufflated it anyways. I honestly don’t know what I was thinking, my best guess is that I was just so hungry for a trip and a good time I did it regardless, almost as if I was possessed by my wants unable to control my actions.
I remember the sensation to be more pleasant than a “burning” pain. Without realizing what I am doing I insufflate another bump, by this time I have ingested what I roughly estimate to be around 10mg. I thoroughly enjoyed the way my nose felt so alive. After focusing on initial insufflation I began to feel extremely excited or “pumped”. By now my trip started about 2 or 3 minutes after taking the substance. Before I knew it I was experiencing an over whelming desire to go and do something, yet had no idea of what to do with myself. I was excided, but for what I had no further plan? N and I decided we wanted to go out doors and walk to the park. Our friends stopped us and told us they did not think we should leave the house in this altered state. So, N and I went outside on the porch (but did not leave the property).
I began to talk to another acquaintance, S, who had just a night or two before taken this “acid” but was not tripping at the time. N and I continuously look at each other and simultaneously exclaim, “I can NOT believe we just did ACID!!!” This is where S informs us that we had taken the research chemical 2C-E, not LSD. Here H proclaimed to us it is only two or so micro-molecules from LSD and was basically just like actual LSD only shorter and not as “intense”. My first reaction was disappointment, then shock. 2C-E, the chemical numerous people had recommended that I take, but had told myself I would never do I somehow ended up ingesting.
At this point I felt like it was “fate” and so meant to be the way things worked out that it was actually quite humbling. I asked myself “Who am I to know how things should be?” and decided to just go with it to enjoy the rest of my trip. I then let myself be completely taken over and surrendered myself to the experience. After this revelation/hint of what felt to be enlightenment I immediately begin to reach my peak. While I was having this moment of introspection I was so into my own thoughts I had not noticed that N was no longer with H, S, and I.
After noticing this I had a visual of N inside the house with the rest of the group. When I visualized N inside of the house I had seen exactly where everyone was standing/sitting, who they were talking to, and heard the music that was playing as if I too was inside the house (on the porch the music was not loud enough to be heard). As I entered the house once again I noticed everyone and everything were exactly the way I imagined even the music playing. I experienced something before it happened. I translated this phenomenon as a vision. At this point I think to my self “Holy Shit! Now I am really trippin’, HARD.” I remember being so shaken and amazed by what had just happened I sat next to K beginning to feel anxious hoping she could help me calm down by simply having a conversation with her since she was not tripping.
Once N and I decided to trip that night K was unanimously appointed our “trip sitter”. I had heard before that talking to someone who was not in an altered state of consciousness would help ground me back to “reality” in a sense. However, I just began to trip more and more for I would notice every single detail. Example: objects in the room, someone’s body language, someone’s tone of voice, someone’s emotions and energy as well as things about myself all at once. It was all so intense I was relieved when the decision was made to smoke another bowl I thought perhaps the weed would calm me. As I would sit forward to take a hit I felt as if the characters on the posters behind me were crawling towards me, grabbing me, attempting to pull me in. The only way to make this feeling stop was to lean against the wall completely. After we had smoked a couple more bowls I began to notice how much I enjoyed everyone’s company and got about 7 people to all sit on the bed at once.
I found myself telling others how much fun I was having in their company, how I truly appreciated all of them in a way that was unique to them as individuals, and N how much I love her and how glad I was to have her as a best friend. I also caught myself thinking and saying, “god, these people are so nice!!” more than once. N and I were hugging when her brother sat next to us and explained how effects of 2C-E can not only be similar to LSD but also MDMA. It all made so much sense, the amazing body high, the way I enjoyed being with others (the more the better!), and how dimensional and utterly delightful music sounded. All characteristics of how I imagined rolling would feel. This is when I really began to enjoy myself the most this effect lasted for around 3 and a half hours.
After the amazing 3 and half hours of what I like to refer to as “synthetic heaven”, a dark presence began to move in. It felt so devastating I wanted to go back to the way I felt before. My trip certainly took me “there”, to a place of indescribable beauty. Now all I yearned for was to go “there” again, wanting to face anything BUT “reality”. I decided to drink vodka, which really was not a good idea, because vodka tends to leave me feeling depressed and also mixing hallucinogens and alcohol is not usually a smart idea. N, K, and I then left the party after only 4 hours, but It had seemed as long as around 12 hours (my sense of time was particularly warped) once we arrive at my house once again we remember that we have mushrooms and decide to split them.
I only ate .25 of a gram, which I consider to have had a ‘threshold’ effect, 30 min after eating the shrooms I got a terrible headache. The pressure was almost unbearable and felt as if someone was squeezing my head incredibly tight. Soon after I got down right pissed because the mushrooms did not take me “there” like the 2ce, which is where I wanted to be more than anything. The psilocybin worked in a mysterious way. After 2 hours the 3 of us had discussed everything and anything that needed to be said.
I remember having mainly audio hallucinations more than anything on the 2ce besides a few visual hallucinations here and there but nothing too far out of the ordinary; all of my visuals looked exactly like real life but were not “actually” there. The only obvious visual effects were not being able to focus on my spiral necklace and the seeing/experiencing events in my mind moments before they happened in the real world. However after eating the shrooms I remember colors were brighter, my lamp looked a bit starry, and the longer I stared at a poster of an orange colored mushroom the bigger it got and the smaller everything around me got (very “Alice in Wonderland” like). 5am moved in and my friends went to sleep but I could not go to sleep, my mind was far to stimulated for rest. Around 7am my mom gets home after working a night shift. I pretended I was asleep until she rested and left to work once again. Without realizing it, the effects of 2ce were lingering, I mistake this as just feeling burnt.
I do not even remember most of the next two days except for: being with N as much as possible, random short conversations with my mother, and peculiar moments of being alone. One of my distinct hallucinations from these two days include me standing under a huge tree looking up at the moon through the leaves and branches with the purple-greyish sky in the background and as I was watching the moon the tree got taller and taller, the branches and leaves then began to look very fractal like in a perfectly symmetrical way. After I looked away from the tree rocks started being thrown at me. I felt them hit my skin, I saw them hit my skin, but I turned around to find no one around me. I figured if it were real I would have seen SOMEONE throwing them or at least heard laughter or I even would have heard footsteps, there was no evidence this really happened.
At another point I found myself staring into a mirror (another instance where I felt completely out of myself and “possessed”) it was as if all I could do was stare at the mirror I couldn’t even think just stare. Fortunately, I snap myself out of it right in time to see my finger was inches away from the electrical outlet. It was as if whatever “possessed”, whether it was my subconscious or an outside force, it wanted me dead. Ignoring these incidents I continue my daily life completely ignoring the fact 18+ hours after taking the drug I was STILL tripping. I honestly don’t know how I convinced my self at the time that I was completely sober.
Sleeping was such a constant struggle between mind & body. My mind wanted to be awake and experiencing the world while my body desperately needed rest. I managed to FORCE my self, successfully obtaining 12 hours the night after I did 2-ce. When I woke up the next day I felt as if the last 12hours went by in the blink of an eye, time begins to rapidly speed up. I then find myself leaving my house with my backpack, that I loaded with my bong, ice-cold water, and a lighter on my way to go smoke with N downtown. On the way there I decide to stop by a friend’s house. This particular friend had told me they see a profound presence of intuitiveness and clairvoyance in me. I decided I just HAD to share my experience from a couple nights ago when I had envisioned events before they happened and experienced a very chemical “synthetic heaven”. My friend seemed rather disappointed instead of happy for me. They cautioned me to not let myself fall into the “Rabbit Hole”. Left not knowing what to think, I embarked once again on my walk to meet up with N.
When I meet N, she is sad and feeling confused. I know exactly How she is feeling and why without her saying one word to me. N however did not notice how I was feeling or seemed to care which bothered me much more than I was comfortable with. For the rest of the night I feel ignored and am easily irritated. Strangely, I did become extremely agitated anytime someone would talk to me. I remember yelling “FUCK YOU! I HATE YOU! WHY DO YOU ALWAYS TALK SO MUCH SHIT?! I HATE SHIT TALKERS!” as a response to someone in the group I was with when they asked why the hell I would ever take my bong out of my house. After smoking in town with people I go home with N because my mom is working another night shift.
N’s parent was supposed to be working until 3am. When we get home it is around 11 or 11:30pm. We decide to head to N’s room and smoke some more. After we were done I did not put the pipe or the weed away because no parents were suppose to be home for 3 more hours. Unexpectedly, there is a knock at the door. I am then terrified because we were the only ones home. No one answers the door, a second knock, this time it hits me. N’s parent is home. “WHAT DO I DO?!” I asked N anxiously. She is too freaked out to say anything. A third knock and we open the door. “What are you guys doing?” asks her parent. I desperately tried to hide the bong with a shirt and move the weed to the side before replying “Listening to Modest Mouse” as ‘Float On’ plays in the background. N and her parent then just look at me with a face that says “WHY the hell would you say THAT?! HOW stupid are you?” N then goes on to tell the very obvious truth.
I am kicked out of the house and N’s parent drives me home making N stay behind. The car ride was the longest and most awful car ride of my life. I felt absolutely terrible, my parents were going to find out about my taste for not only Cannabis but my taste for drug use in general, N was in trouble, I was worried I would never be able to talk to my best friend ever again, afraid I could never go to N’s house ever again, I was just plain scared and STILL tripping from two nights ago. I am in the worst possible mindset to be dropped off at my house alone in the middle of the night.
My neighborhood is filled with nice houses, occupied by bad people. I am afraid I will not find my keys and will be forced to sleep on the porch at 2am. I did not know it at the time, but apparently I had my keys and successfully made it inside. I personally thought I was locked out, my fear became reality. From outside I saw someone I did not know walking around inside turning lights on walking back and forth from the hallway into my room then to the kitchen. All I could think was “There is someone in there who does not belong there! Why are they in my house?!” I have never been so entirely freaked out in every aspect of my consciousness. I ran to my neighbors waking them up in a complete panic. I explained how there was someone in my house I did not know. One neighbor went to my house to check and came backing saying no one was there and everything was fine.
According to N’s parent she had seen me walk inside and set my things down before she drove away, I believe her. I have now been able to connect the dots/ realizing what had happened was, I had an “Out of body” experience. I did not understand this until N’s parent explained I was inside when she left. I have a very faint memory of random images inside my house. These random images are my physical body’s memory of going inside. I have a very distinct memory of watching someone I did not know inside my house; this is my soul’s memory. My out of body experience reminded me that no one has a soul. We ARE souls. We have bodies.
I ended up calling my mom, who left work to pick me up and take me back to her work where I would sleep the rest of the night as I was too shaken up to be at home alone. At this point no one not even N realizes I am tripping on 2C-E, STILL. I even manage to ignore the very apparent fact 2C-E is not finished with me quite yet. It is wild how humans can keep ourselves from seeing what we don’t want to and only seeing what we want to.
Now I am at mom’s work place where there is a sleeping area for staff trying so desperately to sleep, but am unable to. I remember there was a full moon that night. Throughout this entire last 2 days since I did 2C-E I had felt as if I had a third eye. I physically felt it right where my nose ends and my forehead begins between my other two eyes. I would close my eyes and all I would still see moon light. I would cover my two eyes and be able to see the moonlight. I was able to see without my two eyes, all I needed was my third eye. I admire this abnormal occurrence until my mom’s shift is over.
I also felt during the entire duration of my trip as if there were someone there who was invisible, someone who was always watching. When her shift is over, we head to the carport. I look at a co-worker’s car next to my mom’s and see a young Hispanic man sitting in the back of their car. He seems to be in his late teen or early twenties years. He watches me, every inch I move; he watches every breath I take. He stares into my eyes and my mind goes blank. He has black eyes with a completely blank look and emotionless face. My mind goes completely blank and emotionless when he looks at me. I am filled with profound emptiness. The owner of the car opens the back door opposite to the young man and he disappears when the light hits him. I get in my mom’s car and ask, “Who was that?” My mom very confused replied “Who? There was no one there.” I try to explain “That guy, the guy in the car!” My mom once again says, “There was no one there.” To this day, I am still unable to figure out my connection to this young man. Was he the invisible presence I had felt throughout my trip, was he apart of me, a ghost, or was he a dark energy? What was the real importance of me noticing him? It all remains one big question mark to me.
When I get home I head straight to my room and lay my startled self down on the bed. My curtains block the sunlight out and I am left in silent darkness. I begin to think, my thoughts just won’t stop spiraling, and I become more and more panicked. I open my laptop to distract my thoughts. This is ended up being a bad idea as I somehow found myself listening to atmosphere’s “God’s Bathroom Floor” and reading about Serotonin Syndrome. I read about the signs and symptoms. I read how “drugs of abuse”, such as ecstasy and LSD have been associated with serotonin syndrome.
Symptoms occur within minutes to hours, and may include:
• Agitation or restlessness ✓
• Fast heart beat ✓
• Hallucinations ✓
• Increased body temperature ✓
• Loss of coordination ✓
• Nausea ✓
• Overactive reflexes ✓
• Rapid changes in blood pressure ✓
Signs: To be diagnosed with serotonin syndrome, you must have been taking a drug that changes the body's serotonin levels (serotonergic drug) and have at least three of the following signs or symptoms
• Agitation ✓
• Heavy sweating not due to activity ✓
• Mental status changes such as confusion or hypomania ✓
• Muscle spasms (myoclonus) ✓
• Overactive reflexes (hyperreflexia) ✓
• Shivering ✓
• Tremor ✓
• Uncoordinated movements (ataxia) ✓
Somehow I managed to miss the sentence that read “Serotonin syndrome is not diagnosed until all other possible causes have been ruled out, including drug withdrawal, intoxications, metabolic and hormone problems, and infections.” I tend to be a mild to moderate hypochondriac, so I SHOULD NOT have been reading about serotonin syndrome in this mind set.
After realizing I had tripped for 60+ hours I began to think that my mind would never be the same. I felt so fried as if I had been dipped into a hot frying pan. I flipped out. My thoughts began to tell me that if I was not careful and did not correct my self-destructive tendencies I would be headed down a very dark path. I wanted to fix my life, make EVERYTHING right I just didn’t know HOW or WHERE to start, but I decided starting that moment in time I was going to start changing my life for the better. The idea was a VERY good one, how I went about it was a VERY bad one.
I first told my mom and sister about 2C-E and how I thought I could have serotonin syndrome, my mom then took me to the emergency room. At the hospital my mom found out about my marijuana use as well as the fact that I would sometimes drink alcohol and that I ate mushrooms. At the hospital I was given 40mg of Valium. The Valium hit me hard and it hit me fast. I had not eaten the last 3 days. The doctor told my mom to let me sleep it off, but when I got home my mom began to argue and fight with me and interrogate me. I feel as if I was taken advantage of mentally when I was in this state.
The Valium made me numb and it made my trip quiet down. The intention was that Valium would pull me out of my trip, but it didn’t. It only made me detached from my trip and allowed me to ignore the trip. GONE. That is the only word that perfectly describes how I felt, GONE. My mind was empty without thoughts. Someway somehow I was able to argue back to my mom. She loves to argue, her favorite topic is religion. So, we fought about spiritual beliefs. My mom is a very devout Jehovah’s Witness, while I on the other hand am completely against organized religion. No matter what I would say my mom would disregard it replying, “That is NOT you talking. It is ONLY the drugs.” The best way to describe my spiritual beliefs is that I believe what I believe. It is like the Buddha once said “Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.” I believe in energy. Energy cannot be created nor destroyed; this includes the energy of the mind & soul. I also believe that humans have the potential to be divine beings. We are not lower than the so-called angels we are above the angels. Man is god’s brother and god is EVERYWHERE in many different shapes and forms, in trees in smiles in seasons, etc. Humans are apart of the godhead.
The next day was even worse. As the Valium wore off the trip continued. My mom disconnected ALL the phones in the house, took my phone and laptop away, as well as turned the Internet off so I could not watch Netflix on my Wii. When she would leave the house she would take all the phones with her. I would lay down on the floor, stare at the ceiling, and cry. It’s all I could do. I would ask my mom “WHY? WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?!! STOP TREATING ME LIKE I'M CRAZY, BECAUSE I’M NOT!” All she would tell me was that I was too mentally unstable to come in contact with the outside world. I felt like she was pushing me to the brink of insanity. I had to get myself out of there. If I stayed there I knew that absolutely nothing good would come of it.
I smashed mirrors and threw stuff, made a complete mess of my room. My plan was to grab a shard from one of my broken mirrors and I would cut myself on my way back to the emergency room. My mom stopped me. She grabbed me and I could not move. She asked what I wanted. I said I wanted out. I wanted to go home. Home, well I did not know where it was or who lived there I just knew it was not a house where my mom lived. I told her I wanted to kill myself. Though, I did not actually want to, I just wanted to go away for a few days. I wanted to go the psychiatric ward where I could be alone from everyone I knew and have time to reflect. Before my mom took me to the E.R., she made me drive around in the car with her for about 30min (my house is only 5min away from the nearest hospital). This made things so much worse by this time I actually did want to off myself.
I stayed in the adolescent unit at a local mental clinic for 6 days. At the beginning I was still thinking about things as if I were tripping. Not sure if I was though. I have no idea when my trip ended there was no defining moment. I did not get as much “away” time as I wanted. As the people I wanted to avoid only made more contact with me while I was there. I had no say in who I got to talk to. If I wanted to add someone to my calling list I had to have parental consent that defiantly was not going to happen. I did get the chance to meet a lot of amazing people there. I met tremendously wise youth and also a few amount of adults who I consider to be good people. Everyone else was either there only to have a job or they were lost. I felt like an observer.
When I did get out I was very glad and very ready. When I was there many people tried to send me to rehab for my daily Cannabis use and I was prescribed Prozac. I was completely dumbfounded that the same people who wanted to me to go rehab for using a herb to help me cope with depression would rather have me taking a far more dangerous pharmaceutical. All I could think was “Wow, talk about the epitome of the downfall of current day society.” However, when I did get out I did NOT go to rehab and I did NOT go back to my mom’s house.
I live somewhere else now. I live in a home now, and life is so much more pleasant. I went through a lot and faced one of the most profound struggles of my life in a matter of less than 10 days and am a lot happier now because of it. Although I should note it took me a month to feel completely normal again mentally. I have realized that much of my psychological journey with 2C-E many could not endure. I AM STRONG. Cheesy clichés more often than not have a great deal of accuracy to them. What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger. This trip taught me not only that, but so much more it is difficult to write it all down.
It taught me to trust to my intuition more, that for everything there is an equal and opposite reaction, and the depressing truth that I have to accept there are things other people won’t understand no matter how much I try. What is real is not always enjoyable, and what is real is not going to change for anyone or anything. I am thankful for the experience I had, it made me a better person without a doubt. I am glad I could get so many good things from such a difficult trip. Remember, the mind has a strange way of only showing you what you are ready for whether you think you are or not. The mind KNOWS. Some might say that this remains true with psychedelic drug use, some would disagree saying that drugs dissolve this boundary. Either way, both opinions are neither right nor wrong. Nothing is ever one way or the other. It is up to you to decide. Consciousness is perception.
In conclusion, as for 2C-E I agree with Alexander Shulgin in entry #24 of his & his wife Ann’s book Phenethylamines I Have Known and Loved (PIHKAL) this particular substance has a very bizarre devil-angel pairing. In lower doses it can be angelic and god like (I KNOW this because all but one or two people who I know who have taken the drug have had fantastic trips). In medium doses angelic/demonic and in strong dosages can be quite a dark force. The chemist himself says, “At lower dosages 2C-E has been a truly enjoyable esthetic enhancer. But it really has a steep dose/response curve.” The already steep curve varies vastly in individuals. So I will leave you now with this, if you do decide to take the drug I urge extreme carefulness and extreme caution with whom you share. My advice, take very small doses when beginning and as with any substance don’t ever get too comfortable with the substance.
I have only done 2-ce once, but when I did do it I saw both sides. Yes the place it took me to I refer to as “Synthetic Heaven” felt great, however was non-fulfilling. I use the word synthetic with strong reason; to me it was overly artificial. Also, this blissful place did not last long. It was the eerie side of 2C-E that truly made an impact and stayed with me. I never plan to do it again. 2ce is not a pharmacological fit for me. Besides, it is not my choice psychedelic and it is not an experience I need again.
I may have had a very intense/difficult trip, but I still love psychedelics and have learned a lot from tripping. I cannot express how happy I am to have had such an experience, for I can assure you it has made me a better person. Live with freedom in every aspect of your being! EXPLORE: your MIND, your SOUL, consciousness, & the WORLD. Have fun. Be safe. Live & Learn.
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