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Deconstructing My Mind
Mescaline
by TheInkpen
Citation:   TheInkpen. "Deconstructing My Mind: An Experience with Mescaline (exp94775)". Erowid.org. Nov 23, 2017. erowid.org/exp/94775

 
DOSE:
400 mg oral Mescaline
  350 mg oral Mescaline
    smoked Cannabis
    smoked Changa

BODY WEIGHT: 130 lb


This weekend my friends and I decided to take mescaline. I have done it twice before with smaller doses, C had done it once on a small dose with me, and J had only tripped of shrooms.

At about 8pm J took around 250mg, C and I took a bit more than 400 mg. The first few hours were normal, there was slight euphoria but no real intense effects. We smoked some and then went outside to C's trampoline. Gravity felt really odd and I was unable to bounce so I simply sat and enjoyed C and J bouncing. C and I decided that we wanted to take a bit more so we went inside. Small details about this time are still very blurry to me, but we went in around 11pm and C took 250 mg and I took 350mg more.

Very quickly the mescaline came up and I found myself in a strange dimension. I was wrapped up in a blanket and did not feel the existence of my body. The next 4 or so hours are a blur. We smoked bud and changa. The changa was extremely intense and sent me into ego death. I was existing only in spirit in some celestial realm. Most of the time was spent looking at my life, seeing what I liked and what I should work on. After this point I lost control of my body. J and C said that, unless someone interacted with me, I was motionless. Even when I was being engaged I had to have C locate my hands before I could even think about using them. Having my body move felt foreign, as if my mind were so far away from my body that someone else had to control it. (If you have ever seen Being John Malkovich that would be a good way to describe how I felt, as if I were looking through someones eyes with little control over their actions) Luckily what ever was controlling my body only moved when I was in the 'real' world and had intentions to move. 4 am crept up and J was sound asleep, the extra dose that C and I took was still in full swing and we decided to watch Waking Life (Amazing movie if you haven't seen it.) The animation would come out of the screen, and because I was having a difficult time remaining in the real world, but have seen the movie many times, the only existence I had was the movie. I am not sure how to explain this, but I would phase in and out of reality but never leave the movie. C and I did not sleep that entire night. We started really coming down around 8 in the morning and felt afterglow for the better part of the day.

All in all it was an amazing experience. Although now (three days after the trip) I find myself feeling a tad fragmented. As if when I experienced ego death I took apart my being and then didn't put some of the pieces back. I am currently working on ways to put myself back together.

It was a really profound experience.

Exp Year: 2012ExpID: 94775
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: 18 
Published: Nov 23, 2017Views: 1,463
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Mescaline (36) : Combinations (3), Hangover / Days After (46), General (1), Small Group (2-9) (17)

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