Paranoid Schizophrenic For a Day
Cannabis
Citation: Smokey Smoke. "Paranoid Schizophrenic For a Day: An Experience with Cannabis (exp94624)". Erowid.org. Jan 3, 2025. erowid.org/exp/94624
DOSE: T+ 0:00 |
smoked | Cannabis | |
T+ 0:20 | smoked | Cannabis |
BODY WEIGHT: | 200 lb |
This report is written approximately 1 week after the experience. Although I realize there are many cannabis reports already in existence I feel like this one has many characteristics that the others do not. Mainly, audio recordings, that I recorded, then reviewed immediately after recording, and then recorded another recording, and this continued for a total of twelve recordings ranging in length from 2 minutes to 10 minutes each. Today is the first day I have reviewed them since the experience. I hope to gain some additional insight as I remember bits and pieces of what I had recorded but probably can only recall about half of it. On with the story...
Set & Setting: It was a typical Friday night. My wife and I were at home, we had just eaten a very filling dinner of pizza and hot wings and had just smoked approximately a bowl of high grade cannabis between the 2 of us. I'm definitely feeling the high, but I was not in any kind of state that I had not been in before.
I'm definitely feeling the high, but I was not in any kind of state that I had not been in before.
After about 20 minutes we smoked a second bowl between the two of us. I am definitely feeling it now, though I am still far from being out of it. As time passed I began to have a revelation, an Epiphany if you will. Everything suddenly made sense in the world. Everything had a connection to something else and things that made no sense before suddenly made perfect sense to me. I had been in this situation before, but this time it seemed much more powerful than I had ever experienced. My wife eventually went to bed as she prefers to simply chill while I like to analyze what I am thinking. I stayed up as I find it incredibly hard to sleep after having smoked when I have these thoughts on my mind.
I continued watching TV and at some point decided it would be a good idea to get on the laptop and open the sound recorder. I guess I figured I would be able to somehow record what I was thinking, verbally express it, and then translate it later when sober into something that everybody could understand. The feelings I was having were so powerful, I don’t think I have ever felt anything so powerful and there really are no words to describe it. I felt I could go a little deeper and I smoked another half a bowl for good measure. At this time I opened the recorder and began recording. I will now transcribe a summary of what I had recorded in the first clip below. This is my first time having reviewed it since the actual experience...
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[[ Experience1.WAV ]]
1/20/12 @ 9:12 PM PST - 9min 33seconds
Atmosphere: in my living room, the TV is on with low volume in the background.
'this is a test of the sound recorder, it appears to be working. IT is 9:12PM on the day of January 20th 2012. And I believe I have just found something that could change everything. It's the government, everything is the government. That’s the easiest way to explain it.
I hope that this recording can be of some use, they have been hiding it in subliminal messages of every form. Everything from... [a long pause]... The reason why nobody wants to do drugs is because they are illegal, what they need to realize is that people who break the law (the stupid drug law that is) is that you are rewarded when you get there. Why would they want you to know that, it's their little secret, why would they want to share, of course they would want to hoard it, anybody would want to keep it all to themselves, it's human nature to want to hoard.
Any creator, whatever you believe in, christian, Jew, Muslim, obviously you believe in something. Somehow we got here, you exist, so the only rational thing is that the creator whoever that was created this stuff [cannabis]. So of course he wants us to partake in it, not all of the time of course, you can't become obsessed with it, but to expand your mind and make you think about things sometimes. That.... That is something else. Its the most amazing thing ever. The government is trying to keep that information to themselves. When you finally discover what it is all about you look back and realize how they were deceiving you the whole time! Through the commercials, media, everything puts a negative spin on it. Even sitcoms that are trying to promote it, are still putting a negative spin on it. But what is so interesting is that they have been trying to show you the same thing I am trying to show you now, the only thing is they haven’t been able to relay it fully yet.... [another pause] They are trying to do it through the government approved means, and of course that is very limited.
Everything just makes so much sense, it's created, to be used appropriately like everything else. Being obsessive over anything is a negative thing, but this shows me exactly what the creator wanted to show us. It's like an extra part of life that you may have never found. It's like an easter-egg in a movie, you wouldn’t know it was there, unless you found it and knew it was there! The fact that you were able to figure it out, and tried it, you then realize what they were hiding the entire time. It just makes so much sense. I'm trying to ask myself if I am truly insane, I don’t think I can answer that question because I feel like everything is fine, maybe you will be able to tell that later.
If you truly believe what is being said, then of course it makes sense, it's a simple connect the dots. The only hard part is trying to get people who have been brainwashed by the media to understand how real it is. I fear the only way to fully understand, is to have tried it yourself. It's such an incredible difference from what you are used to day in and day out. Such a select few will ever understand. It's such an incredible thing that I feel I must somehow relay it to try it. If you really choose not to do try it, that’s okay, but you will be missing out on something incredible.
I'm beginning to lose my thought process, it seems like it goes in waves, I will wait for it to come back up. [ a short pause] I feel like I have been talking for nearly 20 minutes when the timer says it's only been 7 minutes. Interesting effects of the chemicals.
I feel like I have explained as much of what I can, I will stop the recording now. I don’t really think I am insane, but it's really hard to tell. I suppose if I was insane I wouldn't know if I was insane. So maybe I am... I don't know. It's really not that bad. I don't particularly enjoy it, but it's not awful...
I know I have not done justice of what I have felt. Closing the recording now. Hopefully there will be another recording if this was not sufficient. Ceasing recording at 9:21PM'
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Back to the report... I know what your thinking. It's crazy right? Just crazy thoughts, induced by the chemicals in my brain making new connections. But who is to say that isn’t really how it's happening? It's so hard to argue both sides of this rationally. Of course it is, even I can see that. But let's put that aside for just a minute and look at what we have here. The same person who is writing this to you now, was so absolutely sure at the time. How can that not be something? Should we just dismiss it because we were under the influence of a substance at the time? I don't feel like we should, but what do I know....
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[[ Experience2.WAV ]]
1/20/12 @ 9:23 PM PST - 1min 23seconds
Atmosphere: in my living room, the TV is on mute in the background. I have just reviewed the first recording and only got part way through it before I stopped the playback and began the second recording.
'I have just finished my first recording and began to review it. Upon reaching the 30 second mark... I realized that... I am completely insane. Every time I would start to go into details in the recording I would hear this strange noise. It was a kinda 'ding, ding ding.... Ding ding ding....' each time going lower on the audible scale. That noise, it was like the kinda noise you would hear if you were watching a TV show with an insane person. The background music that amplifies the insanity in the room. And now I am hearing this. 'ding, ding ding.... Ding ding ding....' I hope this means something to you, it means nothing to me at this time. It seemed at first that the TV was playing it, but I remember having turned the audio on the TV off before beginning this recording so I know it is not the TV. Ending recording. 9:24PM'
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I don’t really know if there is much I can say about this. It pretty much speaks for itself....
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[[ Experience3.WAV ]]
1/20/12 @ 9:25 PM PST - 1min 06seconds
Atmosphere: In my living room, the TV is on mute in the background. I have just reviewed the second recording and began the third recording..
'Upon reviewing the 2nd audio recording I realized it was definitely not the TV making the binging noise. I definitely heard it and it sent shivers down my spine each time I heard it. The dog is clawing at the back door, is she trying to tell me something? Oh! Now there is a dog on the TV. Is this just a coincidence? Normal thought process would say it is. I don't know. I don’t really feel like I am supplying any more valuable information but I do want to hear from my future self. So I am going to end this recording so that I can shortly hear from my future self. I guess actually it's a past self.... Oh I feel I may have gone completely insane. It definitely does things to your mind.'
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As I go further and further into the depths of my mind I become more and more paranoid....
As I go further and further into the depths of my mind I become more and more paranoid....
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[[ Experience4.WAV ]]
1/20/12 @ 9:29 PM PST - 7min 35seconds
Atmosphere: In my living room, the TV is on mute in the background. I have just reviewed the third recording and began the fourth recording.
'I have just reviewed the third recording. There is definitely something there. Before I was doubting it for a second that is when it sent shivers down my spine and my whole body. It continues to do this as I speak right now. Why is it communicating through me in this manner? Is this the way in which we communicate to the gods? I don’t know if there is many or just one, but there is without a doubt in my mind, something out there, greater than we can imagine. They made these substances for us to try. With limitations. This must be stressed because people always bad mouth 'drugs' claiming you can do bad stuff while on them. Well of course you can do bad stuff while on them, you can do bad things with everything from a butter knife to a mashed potato. That is just brainwashing nonsense. You cant abuse this stuff, but at the same time it makes you see a completely new place.
Returning to the original thought from the first recording. I highly encourage people to try this substance if you have not already, if you genuinely decide not to, that’s fine but you will be missing out on an incredible experience. I know there are no words in the human language to describe what is happening to me.... [sigh]
Looking back I can see that from the first recording till now it seems like it's been at least 45 minutes but I can clearly see on the clock that it has only been 11 minutes. How is this possible? I feel like I am thinking at the same speed I always do, yet time is passing slowly. Or am I really just seeing how much faster my brain can work compared to what I typically do.
What is incredible to think is that this is just one type of substance and this has the effect it has on me. I wonder about all of the other experiences you could gain from trying many other types of substances. And this is only one person's account of the events. There are literally an unlimited number of possible experiences. '
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Upon reviewing this I find it important to note that I did not move physical locations (I sat on the couch with the laptop in my hand) yet background interference on the playback varies widely from no noise, to a very high pitched noise droning on and on in the background. Logic would say this is just fluctuations from my environment, but who is to say it's not more than that. NOTE: I did not hear any of these auditory differences in the first or second recording.
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[[ Experience5.WAV ]]
1/20/12 @ 9:39 PM PST - 2min 19seconds
Atmosphere: In my living room, the TV is on mute in the background. I have just reviewed the fourth recording and began the fifth recording.
'I have just finished listening to the 4th recording and they know. They know I am recording these now, they are trying to get to me to stop me from telling you these things. People always say that it's the government, but oh my god, it really is. It is. We pay them money and what do they do. They don’t do anything for us. They know the recordings are happening. After about 3 to 4 minutes I began to hear background noises and it seemed like they were monitoring it. Like they were beginning to understand what was happening. I'm quickly approaching the 2 minute mark so I must quickly end this transmission. I will resume in the next one.'
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This is where it starts to take a turn. Even as I review the recordings today I can clearly hear the audio peaks in the recording. There is at least 10 times more background noise as there was in just the previous recording. I can hear myself speaking and the background audio peaks into high pitched squeals. Clearly this has nothing to do with the actual noise in my living room as the TV is muted and nothing has changed in few short minutes I have been recording. Do I really think it was the government? I don’t know...
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[[ Experience6.WAV ]]
1/20/12 @ 9:39 PM PST - 0min 8seconds
Atmosphere: In my living room, the TV is on mute in the background. I have just reviewed the fifth recording and began the sixth recording. I speak extremely fast in this short 8 second clip. I sound like an announcer at the end of a car commercial speaking quickly about the 'small print', but terrified. I can hear the sheer terror in my voice.
'When I got approx 1 minute into the previous recording, they were definitely listening this time. More quickly, they are here! I am stopping recording.'
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Even after reviewing this half a dozen times, it sends shivers down my back. I really don’t know what to make of it.
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[[ Experience7.WAV ]]
1/20/12 @ 9:42 PM PST - 5min 28seconds
Atmosphere: In my living room, the TV is on mute in the background. I have just reviewed the sixth recording and began the seventh recording.
'I believe I am reaching a peak and am in the middle of a trip. Basically anything I think about compounds on itself, building and building and building. The government tracking is definitely the real deal though. It's everywhere, it's in movies, politics, the internet. Oh my god the internet. They’re trying to control the internet because they know it's our one outlet. Websites that explain the true nature of things, like wikipedia, and not just that government brainwashing bull. That was the one outlet that we had. That’s why they are trying to make laws that they can shut down websites and stuff. SOPA and PIPA or whatever it's called. It all makes even more sense now!
[At this point I regain my composure and begin to explain some of my surroundings]
Right now there is a TV in front of me which is playing what I believe to be that Grim show that is currently being advertised. This may be playing some important part in what I am seeing and thinking. Time and setting seem to be of the ultimate concern. OMG THEY ARE RECORDING AGAIN!!! [a short pause] I felt them recording what I was saying. I sure hope these ramblings make at least a little bit of sense. This drug changes how my mind thinks. It all makes sense, but I know from previous experiences that it will not make as much sense later.
What I fear is that this is just the tip of the secrets that they have hidden. Area 51? What is that really? Why are they hiding so many things?
It seems they are monitoring us through electronics. It seems the 70's were a popular time for experimental drugs. I wonder if this is because there was so much less technology back then. Now you can't go anywhere without having some kind of technology at your fingertips. The electronics are holding us back. It's ironic now that I record this on a laptop computer. Hahaha. I really don’t have any other way to describe it than to write it but that would be far too tedious to do at this time.
It's real. That’s really all I can say. It's all real. When you think about it, why are drugs frowned upon so much by society? Why would somebody want to take drugs into their body? But when you think about it, what are they doing to their bodies. Getting fat, skinny, getting injections into their faces, plastic surgery, liposuction. Why are these things socially acceptable, but this isn’t? Those things are so fake. How is this worse? This is the real deal. Experiencing something so incredible. It's just amazing.'
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I have to say that even later, there’s lots of valid points there. The next 2 recordings I don’t think I will transcribe as they don’t appear to hold any new information, only more of what I have already said already. With that I will skip to the 10th recording.
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[[ Experience10.WAV ]]
1/20/12 @ 10:15 PM PST - 3min 17seconds
Atmosphere: In my living room, the TV is on mute in the background. I have just reviewed the 9th recording and began the 10th recording.
'As I was saving the previous experience and began playback I got to a startling revelation. I am concerned that I may not even get past the first experience when trying do decipher what I am talking about. Five seconds in you may think it's completely crazy. I hope you go further and listen to all of them.... Again it's really all about security and hoarding information. Even right now on the TV it's showing... [in the background you can hear a 'DING' noise] OH MY GOD!!! OMG!! Is it still recording? I think it is... I just got... An error on the computer and it says 'server execution failed' on the Experience 1 recording! I am fearful that I have lost all of it! I am going to click OK. I think that will stop the recording.... No, the recording is still going. OMG I hope I do not lose this valuable information. I have never seen such an error before. Hopefully at least the first one is still there.... I’ve already been recording for too long. Ceasing recording now and I hope that they have not been lost.'
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I cannot begin to describe the fear and worry that shot through my entire body as the error appeared. It was sheer terror at the thought that I may have lost everything I was just working on. While that may not have 'actually' been such a terrible thing, it was life and death at the time. Truly horrifying.
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[[ Experience11.WAV ]]
1/20/12 @ 10:20 PM PST - 6min 45seconds
Atmosphere: In my living room, the TV is on mute in the background. I have just reviewed the 10th recording and began the 11th recording.
'I have just began to experience a sharp pain in my stomach, it's really hurting bad. I guess this is some kind of side effect? I can't really tell what it is from, but it is making me not want to come to this place.... It's getting worse..... [I then let some gas out of my system]. Ahh sweet relief. It felt so connected to this experience when in reality it was not connected at all. Very interesting.
[a short pause while I look up to the TV, I realize that I have already seen all of this before.]
I believe I am experiencing what is known as deja vu. It's basically a loop. It's having been at a place in time, but I feel like I have experienced it before. I keep looking at the TV and I distinctly remember having already seen all of this before. And I’m not talking about like before on a different day or something, I’m talking about right now. Like I saw this just a few minutes ago. It's the same thing over and over, but not necessary in the same order. It's... Honestly it's starting to freak me out, because it's starting to seem like I might not be able to come out of this. If everything just keeps circling around how will I get back? I think rationally the only thing I can do at this time is to stop recording all together and hopefully that will return me to the present time and place. With that I am ceasing recording and I hope that I am able to get some valuable information out of these recordings thought I am not sure if I will or not.'
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Even reviewing this part of the audio was disturbing, it brought be back to the mindset I was in at the time, and I was quite frightened that I had done something that had caused me to get stuck in a loop. What was I actually looking at? I don’t really know. I don’t think it was a commercial, but who knows really as I don’t have any video recording of the events.
There was one final recording #12 that I recorded at 8:32AM the following morning after I had returned to baseline. I remember distinctly being stuck in the deja vu limbo world where things kept looping and even the next morning this was fresh in my mind. Also the weird sounds that were being recorded while I was talking were clearly imprinted into my mind. I don’t know if I would describe it as a bad trip per say, but certain parts were uncomfortable to put it lightly.
Final Thoughts: While I am now back to reality and trying to decipher everything that happened this night. I realize how truly powerful cannabis can be in the right set and setting (whatever that may be). What you take from my experience is your own, but I hope that you got something from it. Most people will probably think it insane ramblings or simply my mind playing tricks on me while I was intoxicated. Of course this is what it was, but could it really be more?
(if you made it this far, thank you for sticking with it)
Happy travels and stay safe.
Exp Year: 2012 | ExpID: 94624 |
Gender: Male | |
Age at time of experience: 25 | |
Published: Jan 3, 2025 | Views: 35 |
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Cannabis (1) : Difficult Experiences (5), Small Group (2-9) (17) |
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