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Why Can't People Always Feel This Good?
Ecstasy
by Brian G
Citation:   Brian G. "Why Can't People Always Feel This Good?: An Experience with Ecstasy (exp94)". Erowid.org. Oct 9, 2000. erowid.org/exp/94

 
DOSE:
1 bowl smoked Cannabis (plant material)
  1 tablet oral MDMA (pill / tablet)


I've done E several times, and have experienced several diffrent effects ranging from the 'post coidal bliss' feeling to 'I can take over the world' feeling. My most joyus time however was second roll. and my only time rolling with friends. My buds and I slowly toked a beautifully colored glass bong at the home of a freind. Various people were crowded around the bar in the basement. The bong was on fire, and we happily talked as we exchanged hits. Thats when it hit me. The pill I had taken an hour earlier finally began to kick in.

A note to consider, I am not the most talkative member of my group of friends, meaning I'm not the class clown or the joker member of the group which is always conversing and socialzing. I mostly just like to chill and enjoy their company. However, as the effects of the pill became apparent, I enetered a whole new world with these people I'd never experienced. Suddenly, I was the center of attention. I sat in the middle and began talking, began taking charge. Listening to every word with heart and undivided attention I quickly recived the attention of the whole household. Talking louder, I spoke with more confidence and emotion in my words and facial expressions than I had ever before all awhile being and feeling totally sincere. Everything that came out of my mouth was funny, smart, or inspirational. The awkwardness was gone.

I started up funny and friendly conversations with people I barely knew, and would not have even talked to normally. I joked casually with girls I would have never had the confidence to even make eye contact with in the past I had turned from the quiet reserved Brian to the sociable, confident Brian I had always dreamed of being. I had a feeling of confidence I had never experienced. I felt like a million bucks. I took charge of the room, got the group talking, and planned a day of fun for us all, We went to the stadium and watched a game, all along, with me talking and telling it how it was. It was the most pleasurable day of my life. All the things I had worried about asking, and all the people who had intimidated me in the past were no more. Everyone was my friend. My fellow brothers and sisters. The awkwardness and fears conversing were gone. No more was I held back by low self-esteem. I was flying high, saying what was on my mind, holding nothing back. It was after a few hours of this bliss I began to notice the drug starting to wear off.

I felt a little depressed as the effects slowly diminished. I was losing the feeling of confidence and love I had felt just hours earlier. I slowly began to withdraw from the group socially, and by the end of the night I was sitting on the couch again in which I had sat earlier that day before the pill. Back to my shy, normal self. My friends could see it too. The funny fast talking leader I had been had faded. I was once again a listener, not a leader, as I chuckled at my friends jokes, trying to hide the fact that I was slowly slipping back to the drab normality. This drug is truely intense.

It makes me wonder... What if we could feel this way all the time? Imagine the love, the freindship, the things we would get done. The confidence you feel with this drug is crazy. It literally makes you feel as if you had just won 10 million dollars. That warm funny feeling of happiness you get in your stomach when your getting married, going to pick up your new car, and the jittery anticipation you get when trying to sleep on Chritmas eve.. I have seen the light with this drug, and have thus posed the question: 'If it is possible to have these feelings, and feel these riviting emotions, why must we as humans rely on a pill for this. If we could feel this way, why do we feel normal, Why instead of feeling simply normal, can't we feel this great? Why do we have to experience the depression and pitfalls of our minds, if it is possible to feel this much more free. Imagine if everyone felt like they were rolling. Imagine all the worlds people with those kind of boosted feelings. Everyone happy, everyone confident, everyone loving. Imagine. It is possible, it is real. It's the mixing of chemicals in our brains. And because of this, I hope someday medical science finds a way to induce this feeling without causeing harm to the body. And when it is found, we, the people, will take this world to heights never before imagined. For you see, when your on 'E' anything is possible.

Exp Year: 1999ExpID: 94
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Oct 9, 2000Views: 4,385
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MDMA (3) : Various (28), General (1)

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