Citation: Ktlin. "The Stars and Stripes Are Big and Bright: An Experience with Mushrooms, Cannabis & Zolpidem (exp93063)". Erowid.org. Dec 27, 2012. erowid.org/exp/93063
My boyfriend and I had just received a good amount of Liberty Bell mushrooms for when our friends were coming up for fall break. Eager to try them out, we each took 0.5 g to see what it would be like. I had had boomers before. A half a gram of those type made me giddy, happy, and in touch with nature. The experience with the Liberty Bells made me realize that there will always be a difference in strains.
Since we hadnít planned on taking them that night, there was no meditation to prepare ourselves. Since I didnít experience any hallucinations or bad thoughts on the boomers, I felt there wouldnít need to be. So we each took our share, and down the hatch! These didnít taste as bad as the boomers had. I believe they were fresher as well as had been prepared a different way.
I knew that it would take awhile for the effects to kick in. I popped in a movie and we sat and waited. I started hearing my boyfriend complain about the heat after about 45 minutes. I was freezing, but he was burning up. Touching hands revealed that we were about the same temperature, though. I was getting really tired and kept slipping farther and farther under the blankets, figuring that the dose was so low that nothing was going to happen.
At some point, closer to the end of the movie, 1.25 hours in, the ďgrinĒ was starting to show. When I have taken hallucinogens in the past, I always come up with a lip-splitting, tense grin that wonít go away. I could feel my jaw getting more tense by the second, and soon my arms and legs followed suit. By the end of the movie (1.5 hours in), both of us were rolling around on the bed, laughing at absolutely nothing. This was what I remembered from the boomers trip and knew it was going to be a great night.
Since my jaw and legs were hurting so much from the tension, I asked if we could pack a bowl. I donít know the exact weight of what we smoked, but it was only one bowl so Iím estimating 0.6 - 0.9 g. It was some high grade chronic and I hadnít smoked for around 3 weeks. Before that, it was forty, so I knew it would get me considerably high, but also relax me some. By the time that was smoked (1.75 hours), I was feeling much more relaxed. For some reason, this also allowed me to feel the hallucinogen in my system. My head felt small and tight, and the world felt too big. This is where I realized I was actually going to trip instead of just be insanely happy.
I wasnít too comfortable with this at first. In the recent months, I have had some bad run-ins with LSD that have caused me to just steer clear of it. But I knew that shrooms were different. Unfortunately, these were making me feel as if I was coming up to a full-scale acid trip. I started to believe that my boyfriend was feeling it, too. And that is was making everything awkward. Which it wasnít, but my brain was convinced. He later told me that he didnít really feel or see anything, but noticed my body language change from relaxed to nervous, but didnít want to set me off by asking if I was okay. I started to get ď2 gramĒ visuals instead of just the slight waving around the vision that 0.5 g had given me before. It felt like I had the headspace to go along with it, too.
It is hard to remember because of the headspace I was experiencing, very close to losing time and reality when on LSD, but around 2.25-2.5 hours in, we were both getting tired and my boyfriend had to be at school the next morning. I threw on a playlist of 30 minute shows so it wouldnít get completely quiet and dark as I was falling asleep. I began to become tense again and losing awareness in the world around me. I could hear the TV, but I couldnít understand the words or the actions.
My boyfriend is an insomniac and since he was on a hallucinogen and needed to get up the next morning (I told you this wasnít planned), he took his sleeping pill. I asked for an Ambien (10 mg) because I knew I would never get to sleep without one. As soon as it slid down my throat, I knew it was a bad idea. One, because I take Wellbutrin, and sedatives are very dangerous to take with bupropion. Two, because I have taken Ambien for recreational use before, and it does help you sleep, but youíre loopy and ďunrealĒ until you get there. It was too late, of course.
We turn off the lights and snuggle in. Since the TV was on the other side of him, I couldnít see the screen very well, but I could see the light coming from it. I donít know if this is understandable, but I was looking at the rays of light that come off the top and bottom of the screen when you squint or when itís dark. I was soon sucked into those rays. A cartoon was on, so they were very bright and colorful. I soon lost myself in the colors and movement. I could no longer understand the voices, but the tones and sound effects helped my brain create a story with the rays of light. I donít remember these stories I created, but Iím sure they didnít make much sense in the first place.
When I realized that I was quickly losing reality and the room around me, I got more than a little nervous. By this time, my boyfriend had fallen asleep and I was all alone. I wanted his touch so I calmly started to pet his hair and cuddle closer. Unfortunately, he was out like a light and didnít realize it was me, so he violently swatted my hand away. I was used to this, but my drug-addled brain took it the wrong way. This started the lump in the back of my throat. For the rest of the night, and the next morning, I just wanted to cry. I didnít because I knew that it would just make it real/worse. So I climbed over him and settled on the other side so I could actually watch the TV. I was hoping this would give my brain something to focus on. It worked for a few minutes, but not for long. Since I was now staring at the whole room instead of just my boyfriendís back, more and more was starting to come alive and tell me stories. The light from the TV was still flashing in my eyes, but I also had a clear view of the American flag hanging on his wall. This is what I remember the most. Since the TV was still going with cartoonish noises and effects, the flag responded to my thoughts.
At first, it seemed it was waving. Which wasnít weird. It is a flag after all. But then the red and white stripes started coming out of the wall and kind of square-dancing around each other. I vaguely remember thinking of Roman columns as they did so. Every few minutes, I would snap myself out of my stupor and remind myself who/where/what I was, but my eyes would still be unable to focus. Everything was moving and telling me different things. To clarify, I wasnít hearing voices from the items. My brain was creating stories in my head to go with what I was seeing mixed with the nonsense I was hearing from the TV. At certain points, this inability to focus on reality frightened me and I would sit up and turn to my boyfriend, wondering if he was still there and hoping that when I looked back everything would be normal again. At one point, I felt my thoughts and movements slowing and knew the Ambien had taken effect, but I wasnít asleep. I knew that the relaxation it had given me might create bodily hallucinations as well, and those are my least favorite kind. It never did, but it did make the room spin just a bit faster.
The stars from the flag remained in my vision for the rest of the time I was awake. Whether my eyes were closed or trained in some other corner of the room, I was always seeing stars. Sometimes they werenít the perfect stars from the flag. Sometimes they were just bright dots in my vision. These dots, though, were in a perfect grid. Shining brightly and waving slowly. It looked to me like they were floating in the air, or actually ďlensedĒ in my eyeball. I would see laser-like lights shooting from dot to dot. From this point on, I wasnít allowed out of my stupor. There was no ďcoming backĒ to reality. Just lights, stars, and pillars.
Yes, I was scared, but I didnít freak out. I tend to keep my freak outs to myself, for fear of freaking someone else out, or seeming like a pussy. I knew that my boyfriend would gladly hold me if I told him I wasnít happy. He informed me the next morning that I had in fact woken him up a few times to tell him I wasnít happy, or that there was too much. I donít remember doing this. At times in this trip, I didnít feel frightened. Especially when the motion and sound pulled me in. Once I realized that I had lost it, I would twitch a bit, but when a new ďstoryĒ started, I didnít even realize I was on a drug, or no longer in reality. That was my reality.
The last physical memory I have of the night was me trying to cuddle in closer to my boyfriend so I didnít have to see anything anymore. After a few minutes of my face buried in his neck, I no longer knew where I was. It wasnít just sight that put me on the crazy train, it was everything. I felt like there was no way out. My fingers would brush against his stubble and I couldnít figure out what it was or why it was in my hand or that it was attached to a person at all. I didnít really feel alive myself when I had nothing to look at. When it hit me that I was in his room and that was his beard I was feeling, I couldnít tell where my face was touching him. I remember thinking it was the back of his knee for a minute, then finally realizing that I wouldnít be feeling a beard on a leg.
At 2:30am (thatís the last time I saw on the clock, anyway), I finally drifted to sleep. I donít remember any dreams, nor remember waking up at all during the night. We took the bells around 2100, and the last 0.5g trip I took only lasted 3-4 hours. The next morning, I was a bit anxious when I woke up, but it was probably a residual feeling from the night before. Soon, I was back to normal. Except for the rotten bellyache I always get from the fun fungi.
Overall, I look back on it and accept what happened. I will never regret a bad trip. You need them to grow stronger in your drug adventures. And this wasnít necessarily a bad trip. Just an uncomfortable one. I wasnít having fun while I did it, but I wouldnít take it back for anything.
I had lost reality before, but not to this extent. Iím still confused as to why 0.5 g did this to me, when the normal dose is 2.5-3 g.
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