Citation: Pandora Spice. "Prepping for Ecstatic Upload of Consciousnes: An Experience with LSD and Cannabis (exp93034)". Erowid.org. Mar 23, 2012. erowid.org/exp/93034
I've taken a goodly number of doses in the past year or so. The trips have all been very positive, yielding personal insights and smooth integration. The two trips to date in this past year where the visions stood out the most were combinations involving LSD and other substances such as Mescaline and on a different occasion LSD and a dissociative.
This most recent trip was a deep one. It was also a combination - this time doses plus tremendous smoked amounts of hash oil taken throughout the duration of the trip. I believe this fact significantly contributed to both the short duration (due to sleep) and the enhanced visuals/fantasy aspect of the journey at the peak. This one really was a trip.
It came on fast and smooth - the transition to seeing the other world, to fully flipping the trip-switch was seamless and physically comfortable. No nausea, anxiety, shaking or vasoconstriction. As it came on the pains in my lower back, neck and shoulders faded away to nothing. Throughout the remainder of the weekend I had very little body pain.
The setting for the heart/peak of this trip was an outragously good performance of Balkan Beat Box at Earthdance 2011. I took some strong white on white LSD - a small (1/4 inch square or less) hit and a second, even smaller one, maybe about 1/2 the size of the first. My estimate/goal for this trip was 150 micrograms. I was pleasantly surprised to find it hit me more like 250. [Erowid Note:
Claims of measured microgram dosages for LSD are usually unsupported. Quantitative measurements for LSD are very difficult to do and cannot be done casually. Without further detailed information about how the measurements were derived, it is reasonable to assume that most statements of microgram dosages of LSD on blotter or in microdots are either misinformed or overstated.]
The visuals were distinctly tryptamine in nature - CEV's were very geometrically complex, gorgeous egg or ornament formations of this fantastic geometry, ever changing. OEV's made the world look hyperspace polished. The stage and light show looked gorgeous (superior lighting), the music was intensely good and synaesthetic. After the music, everyone looked sharp edged, well defined and connected, the crescent moon looked super sharp, super silver-white and detailed with craters visible as if I was using a pair of binoculars. The gigantic Burning Man metallic sculpture display that was a kind of stylized cross between Ancient Egyption symbology and the cadeusus symbol no longer looked silver and bronze in color, but rather like it was made out of polished, opalescent mother of pearl.
I was watching the Balkan Beat Box performance, having a great time, getting big visual effects when I realized that the entities were here. They had been haunting my peripheral vision for awhile now. I chuckled that I seemed to have brought them with me without even touching DMT.
Effects were coming on hard and strong in a fairly smooth and continuous comeup with a bit of wave like effects due to hash oil consumption. The peak seemed to be approaching and I was happy to be seated. I was away from the larger groups up at the top of the bleachers, leaning against the barrier fence with my eyes mostly closed at this point.
When I dose myself good and hard there are a number of signs and symptoms, including what I would call a change in the way I think. Sometimes this change truly is psychotomimetic for me. Always temporary though, and part of what makes a good trip really good. Feeds my need for novelty. It's not easy to change the way you think when the decades start to stack up.
I leaned against that fence, the entities on my shoulders and all around and closed my eyes, trying to breath adominally and meditate a bit.
I was suddenly surprised to find myself in a completely different place! Sort of. I could still perceive the concert, but I was no longer at it. I was elsewhere and elsewhen. Let me attempt to explain.
I initially became aware of a strong sense of movement - of being gradually rolled forward in a seated position. Next up came a series of very strong tactile hallucinations that equated to a LOT of stuff (wires, tubes, circuits) stuck into my head. This was not a nice little helmet device - these things had penetrated my very skull and brain. It was not uncomfortable, but I could deeply and distinctly feel it.
Something was going on. I was old. REALLY old. A wrinkled, faded, weightless, hunched, toothless old crone who had lost the singular love of her life (her husband) long long ago. Yet I was ECSTATIC. My joy was OVERWHELMING and COMPLETE. It was mental and physical (thus no problems with the stuff in my head). I could still perceive the concert, but now my sense was that it was not real and I was not really there. In fact I was at the very, very end of my life and this was a memory or review. A memory of a very joyous psychedelic experience and concert back in the day when I was still middle aged, able bodied and enjoyed the love of a living spouse.
I was in a wheelchair with heavy duty computer equipment directly jacked into the meat of my brain, being rolled towards THE END. And I had never been happier in my life. The pain and loneliness and degradation were over. I looked around. I was in a very futuristic looking, 'sci-fi' environment. I wish I could be more specific other than to say I saw no humans (including whoever or whatever made the chair move) in this 'breakthrough' (for lack of a better word) realm. The hallway was very, very white and well lit and there were colorful bits of non-identifiable technology everywhere. The vibe was welcoming, comforting, joyous . . . coming home again after so very very long. I almost had the vague sense that gravity wasn't right . . . that maybe I wasn't even on planet Earth.
I was moving towards a door at the end of the hallway/tunnel. It was the end. When I got into that room, I would die, but all of my entire life's memories would be accurately uploaded to some sort of computer matrix and I would re-join my long-dead husband. I didn't even care if this was just a copy and my consciousness was destroyed - some part of me, an echo would re-join the same of my soulmate. This made me joyous. More than satisfied. Very ready.
I realized I had been moving through the hall for awhile, even though I had only recently become aware of it via this trip. The upload process was already beginning and I was to the point of reviewing the LSD/hash oil trip during the Earthdance festival and the memories were outstanding.
This was a very amazing and unusual experience for me. There was always a kernal left that realized this was not what was going on. I never TRULY believed it. It was not delusion. I define it as a delightful sci-fi fantasy, and having this knowledge on board as the entire thing revealed itself to me made this one of the most entertaining and delightful trips of my life. I had a dooky-eating grin on my face and I could not quit chuckling at this strange, sci-fi and extremely unusual series of events in this trip.
Eventually, this let up and I plugged back into the here and now so to speak. I was left astonished. What an amazing effect. I had drenched my life in sci-fi for decades, I confess, but I had not been thinking about any of this stuff (end of life, potential to upload consciousness in the future, etc.) in the conscious levels of my mind for quite awhile. This bubbled up from deeper layers. It felt very real because it just unrolled, I had no control and didn't try to take any. Yet I knew it wasn't real. Laughing Delightful effect.
Exposures to similar themes within the past 6-12 months include:
* I currently have two maternal great-aunts, one is 95 (still drives Shocked !) and the other is 100. There is a chance I may live to be very, very old and given the rates of rapid change, see a lot of changes it the near future.
* Within the past year I've watched episodes of a TV show called Caprica that introduced a theme of offering people a product where they could visit dead loved ones in cyberspace.
* The fascinating thought experiment that all of this 'reality' is nothing but Life Review memories in the last six minutes of our existence
* It's also worth noting that if I smoke enough hash oil fast enough I trip. Trip on hash oil plus trip on LSD apparently = Synergy Breakthrough Fantasy illustrated in 3D hallucination for me. Very happy
The rest of the night was wonderful, but the above description is the heart of the matter. I have a wistful smile as I write this. A tiny part of me wishes it was real.
The rest of the trip was wonderful, but the main thing worth noting is that normally when I dose myself that hard, I cannot sleep for 10-12 hours minimum. Seven hours after putting the dose on my tongue, I was hallucinating hard in a rave environment ( 'The Temple of Electronica' ) when I realized I was nodding off! Laughing I suddenly realized I had been up over 23 hours AND had worked a six hour security/gate shift that morning in the sun (7 a.m. to 1 p.m.) during the beginning of the festival which is inevitably when everyone is in true cluster-f_ _ k mode. I mean hey how bad could it be for us gate folks. They gave us a laminated card and there were only 13 (!!!) different styles of wrist-bands, then we get told that one class of attendee will have NO wrist bands and will be expected to carry around receipts. LOL!!!!!!!!!! When I reviewed my day as well as the richness of the visions I had had, realizing just how much hash oil had been consumed, I accepted it was time to go to bed. I walked back to the tent and fell asleep the MOMENT my head hit the pillow.
The next morning I had a lasting sense of astonishment, a distinct sense of still being lit and a feeling of having a squeeky clean brain.
Definately, one of the best acid trips of my life to date.
Thanks for reading. Peace & Love
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