Citation: Tyler Keenan. "Underestimating Acid: An Experience with LSD & Cannabis (exp91948)". Erowid.org. Aug 18, 2013. erowid.org/exp/91948
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The whole situation started immediately after I got off work. I headed over to my buddy's house with the intent of doing some acid for the rest of the evening. He already had his hit, so we smoked a few bong packs and headed off to grab mine. After a short drive, and a small waiting period, I was sitting in the car with my buddy, my dealer, and my dealer's friend. [Erowid does not condone or support operating any vehicles while under the influence of any substance] Initially, I had only intended to do one of the four hits I had bought. But, in the heat of the moment, I decided to pop two of them. Now this wasn't my first time doing acid, and typically my trips have followed a flow much like life does. Initial feelings are bubbly and lead to a slow degradation eventually ending in a very thought-provoking state of gentle visuals. As this was the same acid I had experimented with only a week before, I decided that I wouldn't need to mentally prepare myself or be wary of the acid. I was completely confident in my ability to handle what the drug would throw at me.
We picked up some more greenery and headed back to my buddy T's house. There we smoked a few more bowls out of my 4.5' bong, and sat down to play some games. It was at this point that my trip began. A mild body high set in, sitting on top of the heavy buzz I had from the pot. Noticing my euphoric state, my dealer decided it would be funny to start messing with me (I was, after all, the only one on more than one hit). Everything I said, he questioned. Everything I did, he mocked. After a few short minutes of this, I felt my mental state drop to one of rejection. I tried to focus on the game, and maybe cheer myself up before I started to get heavy visuals, but I couldn't seem to focus and was continuously losing. After a mild frustration began, I suggested we smoke again. We did so, and my visuals started to take hold. I kept control for a while, focusing on the positive aspects of the trip and the fact that my work day was over, but I started to feel like my trip lacked focus. Engrossed by this thought, I suggested multiple times that we go for a walk to enjoy nature and see the beauty of Earth under the influence of acid. My requests were ignored, not even answered, and I felt the solitary feeling of rejection return.
At this point my trip became very negative. The four of us had migrated into my buddy T's room, and I was starting to feel a mixture of rejection, frustration, and cabin fever. I became antsy, impatient, and silent. I stopped paying attention to the myriad of thoughts floating through my head and focused on when my dealer and his friend would leave so me and my buddy could go on a walk and straighten our trip out. My dealer's friend decided he would leave my dealer with us, though, and was asking for a ride when I noticed my first negative visual. His face had contorted, and become old. His eyes sank into his head, and his skin drooped from his bones. I stared for a while, not sure what to think, then decided that I was starting to have an issue. I laid back and looked at the ceiling, hoping to find something intellectually stimulating in my visuals on the wood.
After a short time of spacing out into my own head, I sat up to find that my dealer's friend was now gone, and nearly an hour had passed. I looked outside, noticing the sinking sun, and my eagerness to move about returned. I grew more antsy, and once again suggested a walk. My dealer refused, but my buddy T agreed. The three of us got as far as the end of the driveway before my dealer convinced T that walking at night on acid was a bad idea, and we turned back.
After getting so close to leaving the house and being pulled back, I started to hold negative feelings about the whole trip. Around this time, I started to peak. My dealer's grin split wide and his teeth turned to fangs. My perception of the world around me distorted, and I felt as tall as every room I was in. Everywhere I looked, things seemed more and more foreign to me. I felt like I was starting to lose control of my trip, so I suggested we smoke another bowl to calm down. After we did so, my dealer and T decided to get food. I agreed, thinking that maybe leaving the house would make things better for me.
We got in the car, and I kept insisting that my dealer drive. He was the only one not tripping, and I felt like it would be a better idea. Once again, I was ignored. [Erowid does not condone or support operating any vehicles while under the influence of any substance] I got into the back seat and tried to focus on my visuals to take my mind off of my rising feelings of rejection. Suddenly, as we hit the road, I peaked hard. My buddy went numb, I lost my depth perception, and every light was a different color of the rainbow. My buddy T's skin had turned orange, and the inside of his car kept changing shape. I had never experienced such intense visuals on just two hits before, and panic started to rise in me. I managed to calm myself as we approached the Burger King, but it was difficult to control the intensity of the visuals I was having.
As we were driving back, I noticed that I couldn't understand a word my buddy and dealer were saying to each other. I felt like I hadn't spoken in years, and the English language seemed to have slipped my mind. This was the first thing that truly frightened me, and made me think that something was really wrong with my trip. As we pulled back into the garage, my visuals stopped making sense and my thoughts became jumbled. There seemed to be too many of them for my brain to handle, and I started to feel like it was overheating. I realized, as we stepped out of the car, that I had my vehicle here and was definitely not driving it back. I tried to ask my dealer to help me out by driving my car for me so I could get my bong, two other hits, and myself home in one piece. My request frustrated him, though, and he rejected it.
We walked inside, and my buddy T went to go talk with his parents for some reason. I still could barely understand what anyone was saying, but I saw him walk into his mother's room. Looking around the house, I realized that I had no idea where I was. Quickly I reminded myself, and tried to strike up a conversation with my dealer. He turned to me, and suddenly the room shrank. He grew, though, and had to crouch to prevent his head from hitting the ceiling. His skin turned green, and he smiled a mouth full of fangs at me as he raised a knife in one hand. I looked away, closed my eyes, and strange visions passed over my eyelids. Two badly drawn birds were screaming gibberish at each other. I quickly opened my eyes and noticed my dealer was still nonchalantly talking to me. The knife in his hand had become a spoon, and his skin had returned to normal.
I was starting to get really worried that my trip was going to continue to go badly. I sat down and stared at the coffee table, trying to get a grip on myself. Slowly, I managed to calm myself again. I smiled and looked up at my buddy T, who was standing by the fireplace. Out of nowhere, the bricks on the fireplace started to move and shift. Interested, and no longer worried, I looked closer. I stifled a scream as I noticed the bricks were made entirely of gray snakes. One of them looked at me with purple eyes, and I stared transfixed for several minutes before looking away in fear. I decided to watch the television, but since I still couldn't understand English very well, it held no interest for me. Instead, I tried closing my eyes for some interesting visuals, but opened them again when the first thing I saw was my own eyes burning out of my skull.
I decided right then and there that I was having a bad trip and needed some help to be brought down to a better mental state. I wasn't sure how to voice it, though, and ended up turned to my dealer and saying 'I'm not doing so well. I'm not doing so well at all.' I had expected some sort of helpful response from him, since we were old friends and he had sold me the acid. Instead he just stared at me, and nodded. I looked away and up at T, hoping he heard me. But he was laughing at the TV for reasons I didn't understand. In a moment of sanity, I decided that the only way off of this bad trip was to make it good. I focused on positive thoughts, and my mental state slowly improved. I turned back to my dealer, told him I was now okay, and he nodded again.
But I was unfortunately wrong. My bad trip came back to me, and I once again voiced my need for help to my dealer. He instead said he wanted to go sell a bag, and asked T to drive him out to do so. I felt like another drive wouldn't do me any good, so I mumbled that I was going to go in the basement and try to find my mind. I descended the stairs, ignoring the visual of an eagle in the light fixture, and sat on the couch wrapped in blankets. I sat for a few moments before my trip suddenly got even worse.
There was another fireplace in the basement, directly across from me, and made from the same brick as before. As I stared, those bricks also became snakes, and the snakes stared at me with hungry eyes. I looked down at the ground to avoid their gaze, but noticed that the carpet was no longer solid. I was shifting and sinking, like quicksand, and I quickly abandoned my shoes to keep myself safe. I decided that if I balled up and just tried to go to sleep, things would get better. But every time I closed my eyes, I died in a different way. Once I turned to stone and shattered, once I exploded into mist in the vacuum of space, once I was eaten alive by a beetle. After several of these visions, I laid down to try and focus on relaxing. But my vision didn't seem to work when I was laying down, and everything looked so intensely different that I forgot where I was again. I sat up, and noticed that the whole room had changed sizes. Near me, everything was large, but farther away it was tiny. I rationalized to myself that that wasn't the case, it was just the drug, but lost control when I couldn't seem to move my legs. My body felt like it had frozen solid, and I started to panic. I couldn't yell for some reason, so instead I just repeated my name and address to myself over and over.
After several minutes of repetition, I no longer remembered who I was. My sense of self had vanished, and my body seemed to be moving on its own. I was a consciousness trapped inside a foreign body, and I felt so helpless that I decided it might be a good idea to head to a hospital or at least consult someone who wasn't on drugs. I managed to steer my slightly less numb body upstairs, but stopped when I noticed two Chimeras standing in my path. One arched its back, while another raised its tail and hissed at me. I whimpered, stepped back, and put my hands up to protect myself. After a few moments of silence, I lowered them and noticed that the Chimeras were really T's cat's. I wandered down the hallway and into T's room, where I once again forgot who and where I was, and what I was doing in this alien house. After what felt like an hour of sitting and falling in and out of myself, T's mom came by the room and asked me where T and my dealer had went. I said I had no idea, that I didn't even know where I was. She said that they had been gone for several hours, and in another short moment of sanity I remembered that I wanted help. I asked her to give me a ride home, that I was having a bad reaction to some drugs, and I was afraid for my own mental well-being. She obliged, and returned me to my house.
After several hours of sitting on my couch staring at a candle that looked the size of my head, my trip finally wore off and I fell asleep sitting up.
The next morning, I woke to find that everything still looked mostly foreign to me. I went through the events of the night before, and realized what went wrong. Had I mentally prepared myself, the trip would have been very awesome and very intense. Instead, I let myself slip into a negative state of mind and the trip went downhill from there. I don't feel any negative after-effects since, and still have my other two hits of the same acid to take at my own leisure. I feel as though next time ought to be better, as I know that it was all in my head and created by me. I had nothing to fear but myself. After talking with T a day later, I found out that he had no idea I was having a bad trip. He was so engrossed in his trip that he didn't even hear what I was saying. The reason for my dealer's lack of aid still is unanswered, and I'm still missing several things from that night (a lighter and my wallet with sixty bucks in it). But all-in-all, I feel as thought it was an educational experience for me. Now that I know what a bad trip is like, I feel as though I can conquer one should things ever go wrong again. After talking with T a day later, I found out that he had no idea I was having a bad trip. He was so engrossed in his trip that he didn't even hear what I was saying. The reason for my dealer's lack of aid still is unanswered, and I'm still missing several things from that night (a lighter and my wallet with sixty bucks in it). But all-in-all, I feel as thought it was an educational experience for me. Now that I know what a bad trip is like, I feel as though I can conquer one should things ever go wrong again.
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