Citation: K. Kruiser. "Absolute Khaos: An Experience with 2C-C & 2C-D (exp91855)". Erowid.org. Jan 12, 2012. erowid.org/exp/91855
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A little insight into my story-
Let me begin this by noting I am recalling this experience from a little over a year ago. I have never taken the time to write up an experience of my own before. I spend so much of my time reading others experiences, and have begun to really respect and value some of these opinions. I have always known if there was a night I could choose to share with you all, it would be this one.
I am by no means a lightweight. I may not have weighed much, (probably less than the 160 lbs I stated at the time), but I have done my fair share of psychedelics and am always the one to keep his cool and help my fellow trippers through it all. I have vast experience with LSD, shrooms, ketamine, as well as DMT and mescaline. I have also done my fair share of stimulants as well. (i.e., cocaine, ecstasy, etc...). Now take into regards this WAS only my second experience with Phenethylamines, but the first and every other experience since this one has been every bit of AMAZING. Unfortunately this night did not fall in suit.
My first experience with Phenethylamines, I took a 50 mg oral dose of 2cd. Very nice experience. Was not as strong on my mind as I thought it may be, but I remember the visuals being very strong, and thinking they matched up nicely with a decent dose of LSD. This first experience I dosed alone, as I had just first heard of these chemicals and after research, decided it was something I wanted to try myself first before taking chances with my MS, and/or friend having a difficult experience with a substance I was unfamiliar with. My friend and Ms were with me the whole night my first trip and after seeing how much I enjoyed it, and my level of mental clarity throughout, it was only fitting they couldnt wait to do it with me.
Mindset- very relaxed
So me and the Ms decided to partake in it one night while visiting my friends. We planned to stay there for the night and enjoy our experience (my friends were all dosing on mushrooms). I wanted something a bit more psychedelic this time around, so I brought myself some 2cc (liquid) along with the 2cd (liquid) brought for us both. I believe the time was right around 9:00 pm. Now the Ms had never tried a phenethylamine before, and her body weight probably lies in right about 100 lbs so she took a 25 mg oral dose of 2cd. I took 65 mg 2cd, as well as 30 mg of the 2cc right at the same time she took her dose. Like I said, lets call it 9:00pm.
T+ 00:10 min: Feel very alert. Anxious to get past the come-up. No real discomfort yet.
T+ 00:25 min: I remember starting to feel somewhat uneasy. I felt stressed like something was really weighing on me mentally. I asked the Ms to accompany me to my car and smoke a bowl of cannabis. I just wanted to be away from all the people for a minute, and find out how she was doing. We sat in the car talking. She did not admit to feeling anything yet, but I could see her sociability was very high and she was very apt to talking, not too mention her pupils were already pretty big. smoked approximately .5 grams cannabis over the next twenty minutes.
T+ 00:45 min: This is where I began to notice something was not right. It was almost as if I was nodding off while sitting there hearing her talk. I could not believe how strong the effects had overtaken me, and was even more shocked at how rapidly I peaked. Her conversation quickly became a long dull lecture, as if I were hearing it from charlie browns inaudibly boring teacher. I could not focus on the stories she was telling me. I felt as though I were just floating through it in fast forward, searching for something to pull me out of this hole I had seemed to have fallen into. The Ms had somehow remained unaware of my level of intoxication thus far. Reasonably I can only say it was probably her own dose of 2cd that had made her so unaware of my state.
T+ 01hr: 15min Until this point visuals had been non-existent for the most part. Slight patterning hit at about the hour mark, but nothing more than say a low dose of salvia would cause. However somewhere within the next 15- 20 min I began to experience intense visual distortions. My car felt as if it were wrapping itself around my body. as if it were trying to suffocate me. I could feel it twist and turn and cover my being from all sides. I remember beginning to feel my heart start to beat rather hard and quick. I pulled myself out of it a bit as I began to worry slightly. Whats happening to me right now? I had never felt so horrible. So lost. I asked the Ms to come inside with me. I couldnt take being in this car anymore. I wanted to lay down. I wanted to calm my heart rate, which seemed to be getting exponentially faster by the minute.
T+ 1 hr: 30 min: by the time I make it back into my friends house with the Ms I have realized I am not ok. Walking was very difficult. the ground felt like it were flowing beneath me. walking up the stairs to the apartment, it was as if I was swimming upstream against a very strong current. My thoughts had begun to clear a bit, most likely in response to my sudden fear of what was happening to me. I asked my friend (R) if I could lay down in his bed for a few. I told him I just needed some time alone. I think he could tell I wasnt in a good place.
I layed on my back in his bed with the Ms, locking the bedroom door behind us as we entered. I remember for a split second reality must have slipped me. Upon closing the door, and asking my friend to please leave, I can remember very clearly looking out the window. We were aboard a plane. flying within the clouds. This moment was very short lived and just a second later I found myself staring out the window into the black night. I kept this to myself. I didnt want to worry the Ms. My perception of reality was shifting constantly, but this still wasnt what was truly bothering me. My heart rate had reached a level of about 200 bpm. I was beginning to worry.
T+ 02hr:00min: At this point the Ms knew something was absolutley wrong with me. I had never reacted to anything in this way before. I had told her about the cardiovascular problems I was enduring, but was scared to let her actually feel my heart rate. I knew it was bad. I didnt want to worry her. at this time she began to feel the full effects of the 2cd, and was telling me about the visuals she was experiencing. I remember her saying shed never seen anything like it. I told her not to talk about it. I was not ok and I knew it. I just wanted it to stop. There was nothing enjoyable happening to me. My own visuals had seemed to have dissapeared as quickly as they came. I could not possibly enjoy the way I felt, or the things the Ms was telling me about. I honestly belived I was going to die. Not only did I believe this. Sadly, I layed in that bed, and I accepted I was going to die.
Ms got quiet after I told her I didnt want to hear about her hallucinations. We layed there quietly for what felt like 3 hours, in reality it was about 15 min. I looked over to her. I noticed she was scared. Not only scared of what was happening to me, but scared by her own psychedelic trip she had entered, one much stronger than any she had experienced before. I realized I needed someone else to feel my heart rate. Maybe I was imagining it. Maybe the drugs were playing with my mind, and seriously altering my ability to keep track of the ten second intervals I was using to time my bpm.
Within five seconds of her putting her palm on my chest I heard a gasp. The look on her face told it all. My heart rate was completely out of control. I had been laying in bed for the last forty five minutes, and yet it was beating SO HARD and FAST you could see my shirt throbbing above my chest. She convinced me to bring our sober friend (R) back into the room to check my heart. He timed my bpm, and shook his head to me. 'your heart rate's almost 240. You need to go to the hospital.' I refused. There was no way in hell I was leaving that bed. Let alone entering a hospital in this state. What would I say. would I even make it there, or would my friends be dealing with a dead body on the way? My mind was Fucking with me. without a doubt I should have went straight to the ER that night. Without a doubt they should have forced me to go. Somehow I convinced them to let me wait it out another half hour to see if maybe I could calm down.
T+ 02hr:30 min: it all seemed like a blur. I had been on this trip for weeks it felt like. I couldnt remember back to taking it even. It felt like soo long ago. Within the two and a half hours since I took it, it felt as if I had lived my life twenty times over. At this point I tried to get myself to socialize a bit. I thought maybe if I could just get my mind off it, id be ok. somehow I still believed tonight was the end though. At this time I began to notice the visuals returning again. Stronger than before. Once they returned they hit me like a train. the walls around me began to pulsate, as if they were breathing. The texture on the walls and ceiling, especially the ceiling, began to move, and ooze. I could see all the little dots as if they were layed so perfectly in a circle with each of its neighboring dots. They began to spin in and out within and around each other, resembling gears on a clock almost. the visuals werent out of the corner of my vision like most however. The more I focused on whatever was moving/ pulsing/ spinning, the more intense it would become. I remember the Ms mentioning something about a picture of our friends mom. She said she couldnt make out who was in the picture, despite her holding it in front of her. She said everything was all twisted around and she didnt even want to stand. 'Great.' I thought. 'Now I've caused her to become frightened.'
T+ 03hr:00min: Somewhere near the three hour mark I was struck with a bolt of mental clarity. I realized my life was up to me and nobody else. I realized my Ms needed my support right now and all I was causing her was more complications. it was as if a weight had been lifted from upon me. My head felt light and clear, and thoughts came so easily and in order. After this point it becomes more and more of a blur. Had I wrote this experience closer to when it actually happened, perhaps it would be clearer. To put it simply, everything from this point forward became increasingly more beautiful and wonderful as the night wore on. Sociabilty sky rocketed from this point, and my heart rate slowly dropped from there to acceptable levels, around 100, maybe 120.
The visuals were EXTREME, head that warning. Easily comparable to a high dose of mescaline. However, the visual effects I experienced, some of them id never seen before and still to this day have only found present in high doses of phenethylamines. At first it was all extremely horrible. Yes this did eventually fade. And yes once it did, I had a great glowing experince from that point on. What happened to me in those two hours prior however, that will stick with me for life. I love psychedelics. I love the trip. I KNOW how it feels to do large doses of a substance. I know how it feels to have a 'bad trip'. I want to make it clear why I wrote this. What I experienced that night, was NOT OK. I experienced extreme cardiovascular stress, and I fear that someone more susceptible to such a thing, maybe someone a bit older, heavier, maybe just not as strong of a heart, would not have had things end so peacefully. I thank whatever got me through that that night. I would never in a million years take this whole experience back, I truly hit a new spiritual level. I accepted my death. Not exactly an experience I ever wanted to have, but spiritually, I felt like I connected with myself and this universe on a level I had never seen before. That says alot my friends.
TO ANYONE CONSIDERING DUPLICATING MY EXPERIENCE IN ANY WAY:
Please please please use caution. If you are new to phenethylamines, start with low doses and work your way up from there. as far as the other 2c's go: by itself 2cd has never been anything but great for me. Opens my mind in a way that allows me to truly connect with myself and my own thoughts. Great visuals in higher doses. 2ci had much lower visuals for me, however seemed a bit more euphoric. I did notice however that 2ci made me tend to feel a bit confused. Almost like that feeling you get when you eat one too many shrooms. 2ce has strong visuals but I urge caution on this chemical as well. From my experiences and seeing what my friends have gone through, 2ce seems to be the most prone to a bad trip. My times using it have all been fairly pleasant, but that was just me. Ive seen others react very negatively to it.
Overall, if there's one thing you take away from this all, take what I got out of it. Mixing high doses of 2cd and 2cc together can be a really, really bad idea. I have never had problems of this extreme, not before this, not after this.
Until Next time
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