Citation: Frank. "Don't Stand in The Way Of LOVE: An Experience with 2C-E, DMT & Cannabis (exp91352)". Erowid.org. Nov 3, 2012. erowid.org/exp/91352
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Day before trip I ate very light, so I took the 2C-E on an empty stomach. Setting was medium-lit room by myself, with a group of friends on the internet. I kept my phone off. This was my first time tripping on psychedelics and I decided to do it alone since I couldn’t find a reliable trip sitter. I'd smoked DMT three times before (only once was “breakthrough” although I’m not sure if it counts as breakthrough. I was still slightly aware of myself but I was interacting with entities). The 2C-E was way more intense than I expected and I had to try very hard to keep myself calm and not have it turn into a bad trip. I was very uncomfortable for most of the trip and I was definitely overwhelmed, but I never freaked out and kept myself pretty grounded.
I took very detailed notes on a notepad, on a forum, and in a chat room. This is a collation of the notes where I left out things that seemed redundant or irrelevant.
11:55PM – 11mg 2C-E taken orally (via gel cap)
12:35PM – Started watching movie “Baraka” to pass the time. Realize that “simplistic shit can be beautiful”
12:45PM – Feel slightly off
12:55PM – Walls are breathing ever so slightly. Experiencing a sort of tingling feeling in my shoulders. Trying to ignore oncoming nausea.
1:05AM – Smoked some cannabis (joint) for the now severe nausea. Starting to feel waves of energy.
1:09AM – Getting stoned right as the psychedelic started to kick in made me feel like an alien. It was such a strange experience that I couldn’t describe it. I just kept saying “This is REALLY weird” and how I’d never imagined anything like this. I was looking at my computer screen but at the same time I was looking at myself through a crystallized wall with diamonds. I looked like a hybrid between a cockroach and a human.
1:11AM – Everything is very diagonal and moving, I felt very weird. Noticing my perception of the effects changes very quickly, I was taking notes of new feelings every minute at this point.
1:17AM – Someone sent me a link to a psychedelic website and I spent five minutes staring at the trippy animations. After leaving the website I began to think through the fact that everything around me was moving, and I wrote down: “I have this theory that nothing ever moves. You’re just so tripped out.” The effects were overwhelming at this point, far far beyond what I had expected. As I wrote notes my scribbled words were moving and growing and squirming.
At some point near here I got a huge wave of nausea and went into the bathroom to vomit. I sat by the toilet for a bit then decided I wasn’t going to be sick and went back in my room and smoked some more weed to deal with the intense nausea.
1:24AM – I draw a scribble on my notepad and it’s the most beautiful piece of art I’ve ever seen. Still feeling extremely weird, also uncomfortable. Lower back aches and feels cold. This aching feeling stays with me for the duration of the trip.
1:32AM – I discover closed eye visuals. It’s like a vortex of glowing arrows that make up a runway for my mind, and when I dive down the vortex it explodes into an amazing light show. It’s so intense that I can’t keep my eyes closed for long. I try to listen to music, but the music that was recommended to me is very strange psychedelic music and it unsettles me.
1:37AM – LOVE is the meaning of life. Love exists, love is existence. Around this time I’m deciding that this is “weed on steroids.”
1:47AM – I find my kitty and tried to lie down and cuddle with her. I can’t sleep (obviously) but I do begin to come in contact with the death state. It’s confusing and scary at first and I resist it.
1:56AM – I get back up and start doing some thinking, realizing the following things: First, I have to keep reassuring myself that I took a drug. I was starting to come to the understanding that I didn’t actually take a drug because I didn’t actually exist. I felt myself jumping around in time, to various points during the trip where I had the exact same mindset, and realizing they all were the same point. I felt that I was just “1” and that inside that 1 I was imagining life, and with the drugs I was able to break out of that imagination to see that there is no such thing as time or existence.
2:30AM – I declare that I exist as a human to tell the infinite intelligence that it’s tripping. Everything is 1. I realize that I am experiencing the death state, where you go back to the “everything” that you came from. I felt like life is just a brief break from complete understanding and pure love, and that during life your mind is finite and clouded. When you take psychedelic drugs, you allow your mind to step out of its reality and understand the everything that it comes from and returns to. This scared me because I still had the natural human fear of death, but the actual concept of death was not nearly as terrifying.
2:38AM – I felt like my life was ending. I was too tripped out to remember that the death state is a temporary experience when on drugs, and I felt like I was at the very end of time and that my entire existence was closing around me. I convinced myself that everything has existed and it was time to go, but I kept fighting it and trying to come up with excuses to keep living. They always lead to the idea that everything is 1 and everything has existed, and back to the closing call of my life.
2:55AM – Time is pushing me forward. Nothing exists yet, so I am being pushed forward into new existence. Since I had reached the end of my existence but death didn’t come, I felt that I was on the brink of reality and the brink of and expending existence. I believed that everything that exists is 1, and death state is life state. I live as I die, as 1.
3:05AM – I discovered a life purpose. The infinite intelligence gave me a body to live. I exist to live. Living is love. I live to spread love and to help people enjoy their living, including myself. I keep thinking I’m about to die and I keep realizing I’m going to live. I think if I go to sleep I’ll never wake up. I keep thinking about how everything is 1 and I’m pushing through time, and at 3:20 I decide that I can sleep now because I know I’m going to wake up and keep living. I don’t go to sleep, but I am not afraid of the idea anymore.
3:21AM – The closed eye visuals are so vivid and often taking the same form as the open eye visuals, that I almost can’t tell when my eyes are open or closed.
4:03AM – Tried to smoke DMT. Didn’t vaporize correctly, got a very small hit, was like a jolt of energy that pulled me out of the “learning state” and let me start enjoying the trip. Music was amazing, petting my kitty was amazing, and I no longer feared death. My lower back was aching and made it so I couldn’t sit still for very long, and nausea was still coming and going.
4:25AM – Smoked again, vaporized it properly. I was in a new dimension when my eyes were closed. No sense of reality self. I was in a 3-D geometric playground and playing games with two little kids. They could climb through holes in one wall and pop out another wall behind me. This world was crystal clear with none of the cloudy, vibrant, or moving effects of the 2C-E. Things moved in parts, like a sphere opening up to reveal a new room or a square on a pole rotating. I was listening to tarantella music so the kids were dressed as Italian villagers and acting mischievous. Once I open my eyes I find that I leave my body whenever I close my eyes. For a good 10-20 minutes I’m able to have an out of body experience into another dimension whenever I close my eyes.
4:40AM – Everything is amazing and electric. My keyboard is glowing and thriving with electricity. The keys are spinning at an insane speed and letting off enormous energy. I can’t read them but I type out of memory. Closed eye visuals no longer send me to a clear other dimension, but they are otherworldly and epic. I actually can’t even remember what I saw at this point, I just remember telling myself it was too complicated and amazing to describe and letting myself just sit back and enjoy them.
5:00AM – I revise my previous understanding to this: The infinite intelligence sent parts of itself off to become humans. We are part of the 1, but we are individual. Life exists for the sole purpose of enjoyment in the 1. So help other people enjoy life, it’s all the same. Love holds us all together. Live life helping others and serving others, help spread love and happiness.
5:08AM – For the past 20 minutes (and for probably the remainder of the trip) I could see blue faces in everything. It was almost like circles in a grid-like pattern, and each face was melded into a hand making a weird hand movement. Never stand in the way of LOVE.
5:15AM – Taylor Swift sounds like an angel.
5:20AM – I started playing Assassin’s Creed. Here are the highlights: Ezio Auditorie is not being controlled by Desmond. He’s just insane and tripping balls going around killing people. I could see things in the graphics and art that I couldn’t easily find after checking again sober. All of the minute details like glow, energy, the 3-D grid underneath you when in training mode (it looks like lines moving around sober, but while tripping I could clearly see them in the deep 3-D representation). Eagle vision was the coolest thing I have ever seen in my life.
5:50AM – Keyboard keys are becoming visible, everything is still moving. I lied down again with my kitty for a while.
6:35AM – Things aren’t as intense but still pretty trippy.
7:00AM – Feeling pretty normal, finally get myself to sleep.
The after effects were sluggishness and some slight nausea for the whole day after I woke up. For about a day or two I made a lot more mistakes typing. Minor things like pluralizing random words, but it seems to have gone away now. I used to hate the word love and everything about it, but now I see that love holds everyone together. Having seen the death state I no longer fear death. I feel like I have purpose in life and I feel like beneath atoms and particles everything is connected by love. Even though I handled the trip well, I don’t intend to trip again any time in the foreseeable future. I might smoke more DMT at some point this summer, but for now I’m not even smoking weed. It’s not like it was a “bad” experience that’s turned me off from drugs. I came to them for a learning experience and that’s what I got. They’ve served their purpose and for now they aren’t needed.
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