DOSE: T+ 0:00	15 mg		2C-I
T+ 2:00		smoked	Cannabis	(plant material)

BODY WEIGHT:

130 lb

The trip began with discomfort primarily in my stomach, and had several moments where I was close to vomiting. Eventually this subsided and I began thinking about two main focal points for the remainder of the trip that I kept going back to and reflecting on: they were existence and reality. If I had to put a label on it, I had a bad trip; I actually lost my grip on reality and couldn’t bring myself to do or think about anything because I thought sobriety was a prison and no one could ever break through some sort of boundary into the stellar and achieve true enlightenment and the answers to the most prevalent of human wonders, the purpose of our existence. At this point, I was in the bathroom trying to masturbate, as suggested, but it was to much of a task to put my heart into since I really could not make sense of the fabric of reality and how I can ever return to the life I had formerly known. I needed to establish another human connection, just to prove to myself that there are other entities similar to me in this sector of reality. There were only a few people online and I didn’t really know them all too well either, but it didn’t matter, I had to have that conviction and resolve that there were others like me. The basis of my existence, I kept retreating to as if seeking refuge from the chaotic and oh so convincing inclinations of living in a world of nothingness, was a religious premise that could not be either validated nor disproved; this was good enough for me at the time.

Mendlebrot boxes- this video courtesy of my homie jojo, really allowed me to experience a profound connection with the entire universe, I was deeply upset about the ongoings of the world- images of Libya and mutilated corpses kept flashing in the back of my mind, and I was fed up. I had tears in my eyes and believed that as a being of this realm, I had the right to summon the judge of the smallest court to the largest court of the universe. I was going to go all the way and the mendlebrot boxes gave me passage to the most microbial sentient beings living in the fabric of time and space.

I was afraid that I didn’t take enough, and was worried I had taken a dud, and kept asking when I should be feeling the distortions. 4 hours into the trip, I was able to make out open and close eyed visuals, the oriental carpet in my basement began to merge and dissipate in and out of patterns and designs; one negative aspect was when I was in the bathroom, there was a flower pot that was vibrating up and out of the vase and I had delusions of Djinn, which in my culture is the equivalent to a demon, I knew I would freak out if I let myself succumb to these thoughts and immediately changed the course of the trip; although this though kept lingering somewhere in the back of my mind all night.

I had pulled 2 back to back gb’s of diggity dank 2 hours after administration and was probably the point where noticeable changes ensued and gave my trip a kick start. I lit incense and watched as the smoke traversed the airways of my basement, going in no direction but having purpose as well. Fantasia 2000 was playing, and eventhough I watched some of it, I couldn’t keep myself from contemplating existence and reality again, I had no connection with any other entities and thought myself alone. I looked at the clock it was 3:33 and closed my eyes and had close eyed visuals of various indescribable images, and looked back at the clock as I opened my eyes and read 6:10 on the clock. I headed over to my bed and fell asleep at this point.
the deceptiveness and duplicity of the concept of reality was the impact of the trip, and The most valuable contention that I can take out of this trip is the comfort of being able to cling to a reality. I should have had an anchor of some sort, or a companion, that would keep me grounded and offer assistance in case of anxiety.

Exp Year: 2011	ExpID: 89878
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 17
Published: Jun 7, 2018	Views: 876
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2C-I (172) : General (1), Difficult Experiences (5), Unknown Context (20)