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Life Ruining Three Months
DXM
by Anonymous
Citation:   Anonymous. "Life Ruining Three Months: An Experience with DXM (exp8968)". Erowid.org. Jun 13, 2006. erowid.org/exp/8968

 
DOSE:
  repeated oral Chlorpheniramine Maleate (pill / tablet)
    repeated oral DXM (pill / tablet)
    repeated oral DXM (liquid)

BODY WEIGHT: 157 lb


[Erowid Note: Most Coricidin contains CPM (Chlorpheniramine Maleate) which can be dangerous in high doses. See DXM Brand Warnings for more info.]

It was March of the beginning of this year. I had just gotten out of depression and wanted to go out and do new and fun stuff. I made some new friends who introduced me to drugs. Just pot though. And it was fucking fantastic. I got high, and I loved every second of it. I thought that every drug would be like this. I was DEAD wrong.

One day, I got really stoned and saw colors. I noted this to my friend, and he said that acid was like that only cooler. I searched...finding none...and losing interest in weed, because I couldnít find acid.

My friend approached me one day. His exact words were 'Hey man, I took 8 of this stuff called coricidin, its weird, and itís like acid, but with no crawly stuff.' This was a guy who had never taken acid, but I didnít know it at the time. So after school, we smoked out (the usual), and headed to the pharmacy. My friend went in and jacked 4 boxes of coricidin, and we went to his house. He wanted me to try it, I refused at first, but he said that he would have plenty for tomorrow. He assured me all that would happen would be it was hard to walk, like I was drunk. I stupidly popped 6 pills in my mouth and said goodbye to anything I had left in the world.

I got home, and ate a bag of chips until I thought I would puke. I lied down in bed, and my dad woke me up and brought me into the living room. Everything was HUGE, and I fell over like 3 times. I told him I was stoned (he didnít have a problem with weed, but he warned me if I took anything else he would.) And he laughed with me, although I really wanted to go back to sleep. I couldnít laugh either. It was just weird, but with a body high...something I hadnít really experienced...not pleasant, but still a high.

The next day at school, 8 pills were ingested. At this point, I fell in love.

Over the next 2 weeks, I upped it to 16 pills a day, then to 20. My dad said my eyes were funny after one day at school, I told him about the pills, and grounded me. I kept on taking them at school. By now it wasnít fun, it made me really nauseous, and it scared the hell out of me. Besides, I didnít like weed anymore.

I vowed to quit, and on my last day of taking it, I got caught. I was sent to the hospital (for 16 pills..yeesh..) And got into a shitload of trouble. I attempted suicide 3 times, it was so bad. My parents hated me, cause my mom had no idea about drugs and I was a different person now.

I told myself that I would stick to that, cause I didnít like it. I went out to score some bud, hoping it would bring me back to the pleasant stonings of the month before CCC. Unable to score some, I headed to the pharmacy and jacked some more ccc.

I popped 12, and got away with it. I got some more, and put it all in a baggie, just in case.

I dealt it at my school the next day, hoping to get some weed, but never got any. It was the last day of school, and I had a bad with 30 left in it. That night, I went home, and swallowed down the whole bag.

I got a weird feeling, and I kept on seeing things that werenít there. The TV was 200 feet off the ground, and every time I got up, I could see myself walking to the bathroom, which qucikly rose into the air and glided away from me. I looked in the mirror just to be scared shitless...I didnít know who that was. It was absolutely terrible. I lost it, I couldnít find out who it was in the mirror, and I wanted to cry, but forgot what crying was. I went pee (an ordeal that took 45 minutes at the least), feeling I was getting rid of my good side, leaving only my bad, dxm-ed out side.

I saw chains and wrecking balls hanging from my ceiling, and did not get one wink of sleep that night. I slept until work the next morning, and sweated like a pig the whole time people were looking at me weird.

A couple days later, I got a chance for a day alone, at my auntís house. I was once 'reassured' that it would be like LSD. (My last trip I got no unusual colors.) I just had to take a higher dose. I went to the store, and scared to OD on Chlorpheniramine Maleate, got a couple bottles of robitussin along with the 2 ccc boxes.

I invited a friend over to watch me, and he was against it, but by the time he got there, I had already taken it ALL. The whole time I tripped, I couldnít remember if he was really there or not. In fact, I had (not knowing) walked back up to a different store, bought some MORE coricidin (another box), and took 4 of those pills. I didnt even know I did this, until I found another box in the trashcan when I came back. It was about 3 hours until my parents got there that I had finished off that last box. I sat there, watching south park, remembering how we were about to go out and do what they did, and it was a training video.

I floated to the bathroom, and stood there floating above the toilet, not being able to pee, and hearing south park UNBEARABLY LOUD in my ears (the TV was actually on quiet..) My friend left, and I freaked out. When my dad showed up, he was like 'what did you take' and I was like 'what the hell is that' and I was pointing to the window behind him, there were swirling flowers and stuff behind him. His head was really small, and pulsated in and out, as I failed to grasp who he was exactly. Next thing I knew, I was in the hospital again, drinking the charcoal again, being hooked up to all that stuff again...but luckily, I had come down enough to know where I was. It was about 7 hours after I had finished it all.

A time of severe depression followed, with 24 hour supervision. I saw shrinks and stuff, and they were thinking about sending me to a mental hospital.

I got by for a while, and finally scored some bud!! I was so happy to be back (had been a couple months), and it was great. Unfortunately, my mom found it, and promptly flushed it. I then went and did something really stupid...you guessed it, got more ccc, and a bottle of Robo.

I took the 32 ccc and the robo, and tripped that night, and my eyes were red and funky looking all day the next day. It was a weird ass trip.

A couple weeks later, I did the same thing again. This time, I saw a lava-like pattern on my ceiling. 'COOL!' I thought. It formed into stars and stuff, but was still just black and white. It was cool, nonetheless. 'I've finally done it!! I've reached my LSD-like high! I LOVE CORICIDIN!'

God, I regret that night.

A week later, we traveled up to visit some family. I got anxious. I had been away from drugs for a week, and was starting to freak out. After numerous failed attempts at getting some weed, I just broke down and sprung for the easy alternative...coricidin.

What follows is the worst experience I have ever had, on drugs or in real life.

I downed a bottle of honey cough Robitussin, hoping it would be easier than the original. It wasnít, I puked it up promptly. I drank another...puked it up. I then became hot, and figured I had taken enough.

I set up a tent in the backyard as not to get caught, and laid down. I then thought (stupidly) that it wasnít enough, so I went back, took all the coricidin, and started taking it, one by one. I must have taken about 60, because I had 4 boxes laying there, 3 empty, and one with 4 left in it. Shit man, I didnít know. I threw the boxes in the bushes and ran back to the tent.

Lying in the tent, I saw that the tent roof became the ceiling of the house, and I wondered why she (my mom) moved the tent into the house. So I went up to ask her. I ran into my sister in the living room, and she goes 'WHAT THE HELL DID YOU TAKE?'

I just answered coricidin, hearing it echo millions of times in my head, producing a demons face every time it rang. I saw her (my sister) extend her arm, float to the ceiling, and throw off all her limbs and spin around in a ball. 'Stop, ' I said, and trampled off to the bathroom, puking my guts out on the floor.

I looked in the mirror, and had a severe breakdown. Not only did I not know who the person in the mirror was, they looked really fuckiní scary. The following was not a hallucination (my mom described it the same way)

My eyes were hardly open. What was open, was a very dark red, almost black color. When my mom lifted my eyelid, she noticed barely in the sea of dark red a pupil, with absolutely no green iris left in it. My skin was PALE white, with red blotches all over the place. I was covered in puke. I couldnít walk. I looked like a monster. I was scared to shit. I have never been so scared in my life, just thinking about it now scares the hell out of me. My mom said she thought I would kill her, cause I looked psychotic.

Anyways, I headed back to the tent, and my sister followed me. She asked why I took it, I said 'why you gonna cry', then I said 'I donít know what crying is', then my cousin materialized from my sisters left shoulder and flew around her at an alarming rate.
I saw blobs of 3d all over my sisterís face. Next thing I knew, my mom was slapping the hell out of me, and holding a flashlight to my eyes. The tent was really different at this point; it was underground, and ever-expanding. I had a room and my mom had a room, and she was playing games...so I puked on her.

I get into the floating spaceship (car), and see 2 identical copies of my uncle, both wearing cowboy hats. Everything was really blurry, might I add. They were talking about basketball, I said 'I hate basketball', but it came out 'BAhabaabahab (accompanied by lots of drooling.)

We passed many floating cities (houses) on the way to the dark capital floating city (the hospital). Iím not shitting you...I really thought this stuff was going on. We backed up our 18-wheeler (minivan) onto the elevator shaft (parking lot), and rose up to the main floor (walked me to the emergency room.)

I saw my sister lying in the ER bed, but she had a mask with my face on it. I jumped in to beat her up (something I would never do in real life), and she disappeared. She didnít even come with us to the hospital!! Only my mom, aunt, and uncle did.

They stuck many needles and such in me, and I thought it was a funny joke. I had forgotten I was on corcidin by this point, I thought I was at an auto mechanics shop and it was 12:00 noon the next day. I saw oil on my chest (puke with charcoal), and wiped it off until it bled. My uncle took the towel, I ripped off all the cords, and got up and kicked the hell out of him. I was screaming, but I thought I was acting normal. They got hold of me, and put me back.

My mom's head de materialized into a ball of hair, crying endlessly. She was a 'generic', something all people have, going through a struggle we all did. She would randomly appear and disappear, for many moments at a time.

I looked up, and watched my surroundings melt into each other for a second, until was dragged down through the hospital bed, through the floor, and into hell.

This was most definitely NOT cool. I saw the devil, I saw hell around me, I was scared, and I knew I was dead. I saw a huge '15' (the age I am) sign hanging at the entrance. I was very uncomfortable, and Satan dragged me around by my hair and other parts of my body and tossed me into lava pits and such. It wasnít fun.

When I came back, people were blabbing about the time, but it all sounded like 'ahahahababababjsajsda' to me. I looked at my heart monitor screen, and saw 2 people on it, like a street sign. I said hi to them, then turned back to the oddly-shaped room. The windows in the back shone too bright though (there were no windows in the room I was in, and the lights were not on.)_

I thought my mom was dead, cause I couldnít see her anymore. She was right next to me the whole time, it was like my brain blocked her out. I started to realize where I was...I was in the hospital...I had done something bad, but I didnít know...I thought that I took the coricidin in order to prepare for a good smoking session or an acid trip, so I tried to garble the words to nobody, of course, they wouldnít come out.

So I raised into the air, and another hospital bed formed under me. It went on for miles in each direction, and the rails raised to the sky. I was trapped...there was no way out of this hospital bed...I eventually was able to choke out 'I hate this.' to my mom, and she answered, and I knew I was there. I couldnít say much more, it was too painful.

Over the course of the night, I went in and out of separate realities, universes, and had many encounters with demon-like beings. I was out of my body the remainder of the trip, not something that is at all pleasing.

I came to fully about 10 the next morning (I was there overnight, we showed up at like 2 in the morning), and saw my surroundings for the first time the way they really were. I was still cussing loudly though without knowing, but everything looked normal. I found out that I was pretty much dead last night...My heart rate was around 230 by the time I got there, and actually stopped one or 2 times during the night...The doctor told my mom I would die overnight, and there was no way to save me...they gave me all these depressant drugs to slow down my heart...but they didnít help much...I was so lucky to have survived this!!

I knew I would be screwed when I got home. I was. I go through daily searches, get drug tested all the time, and never go anywhere. I always get my eyes checked, whether I am changing my clothes, going out to check the mail, or even going to the bathroom. My parents have absolute 24 hour control over me. This is on top of the trauma I have faced after the trip through hell. I still canít get over it (been 2 months.) I still get flashbacks, and each one INSTANTLY makes me cry. I canít walk the halls at school and not be reminded of coricidin. I canít go to sleep, the dark scares me, and reminds me of when I was on coricidin. I have to go to my aunts house, that is going to be hell, Iím bringing my sister with me to make sure I donít freak out from being too scared.

The punishment is gradually getting better, and I have smoked bud constantly since then, (a few masking techniques on the drug tests work fine) but nothing seems to help getting over the bad trips. I still get flashbacks and psychotic episodes. My parents even told me that next week they would start letting me go places again, and maybe stop checking me so often. Even this canít make me happy.

One thing I know from this: I am never doing DXM again. I vomit when I see it, I have a breakdown of sorts when I think of it, I get flashbacks, it has permanently ruined my relationship with everyone I am close to.

Exp Year: 2001ExpID: 8968
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Jun 13, 2006Views: 69,572
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Endogenous (86), DXM (22) : Hospital (36), HPPD / Lasting Visuals (40), Post Trip Problems (8), Depression (15), Overdose (29), Train Wrecks & Trip Disasters (7), Retrospective / Summary (11)

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