Citation: Void. "The Green Mesh of the Universe: An Experience with Mushrooms (exp893)". Erowid.org. Nov 13, 2000. erowid.org/exp/893
This experience was my first trip ever, and the best trip Iíve had to date. It really all started the night before.
I was on holiday in Amsterdam with three mates. None of them had experienced anything psychedelic before either. We had travelled there for the pot 'cause we are all huge smokers. Although we had talked about taking mushrooms, it wasnít something I was going to go out of my way for. Despite this, the first evening we got there, we found ourselves in a Smart Shop.
The bloke behind the counter sold three strengths of shroom, and seeing as it was our first time we went for medium ones (I think they were either Liberty Cap or some Mexican stuff). After that we went back to the hotel room to chomp them down. To cut a long story short, they had fuck all effect on me. No one else fared much better than myself. One of them, Dave, saw some poncy hallucination with the door, and that was it. Waste of money.
Next day I decided I wanted more shrooms. My friend Dave had, after all, experienced a proper hallucination no matter how minor, and at this point the idea seemed quite amazing to me. After the first night's disappointment, I was determined to trip.
We went into Smokeyís, a friendly coffee shop we visited several times. We asked them about their mushrooms, and they had only one type, some Mexican shrooms of some sort. I decided to buy some, having been guaranteed the effect would be good. We all went to get something to eat, and I munched them down with my food. All three of my mates had also bought and taken the same amount.
We decided to look around for somewhere good. After wandering through the red light district for a while, we found a smoke friendly bar, so we sat down and toked on a couple of joints with a pint. At this point, my friends Norris and Carl had started to come up. They were enjoying some amazing emotional experiences of some kind. Dave and I were totally sober (except for the mountains of bud we had smoked). I was a little pissed off. At this point, I had paid for mushrooms twice and got nothing out of it.
At this point, I had paid for mushrooms twice and got nothing out of it.
I came to the decision that I must buy more. It was only half an hour or so since I took the Mexican ones, and although I was sure I wouldnít come up I imagined they would still be in my system. If I knew as much then as I do now, then perhaps I would have given them more time.
We set off, and in just a couple of minutes found the shop I was looking for. I went in and purchased a bag of Liberty Cap. I had now found out that you had to slowly chew the buggers, so as we continued wandering around, I slowly munched on them. The taste was horrible; chewing too much at once just made you wanna spew your guts up. Despite this, I soon managed to eat the bag. We wondered around some more, and after 20 minutes or so I started to get impatient. The damn things were having no obvious effect. Even the gear was starting to wear off. I decided that getting more mushrooms was the only way to go! Dave suggested that if I buy yet more they still might not have an effect, and I would waste even more dosh. I didnít care, I had already spent 50 guilders ($25, £16) on the two doses I had today. The way I saw it, if I had more they were bound to work.
After having another joint and a pint in a coffee shop, I saw an eye-catching mushroom shop. What made it eye-catching were the two fine birds serving on the till. I went in with Dave and asked them if they had any Philosophers Stone. I had read about this stuff in the store I bought the Liberty Cap from. I had found out it was strong, but didnít buy any 'cause they were only selling 4 grams for 30 guilders. The info they gave me was that you need 8-15 grams for a strong trip. The fit birds in the store told me they would sell 15 grams for 35 guilders. I was amazed, I thought I had stumbled on one hell of a deal. It seemed so good that Dave tried to buy some, but they only had one box left!
As soon as I was out of the shop I started nibbling on them. These were fresh and tasted a whole lot better than the Liberty Cap or Mexican. They come in a truffle form. This, I found out later, is because they are mushrooms that deform under the ground, never quite sprouting through the surface. I munched on the box of Philosophers for quite some time, slowly chewing them and rubbing the mulch around the inside of my mouth. I had been guaranteed this would work.
After finishing them I was starting to get a little worried. In the last hour or so, I had munched down 3 doses of mushrooms, costing me 85 guilders. If I didnít come up I had wasted a lot of money. After a while I wandered into another mushroom shop. I explained to the woman behind the counter my predicament, she suggested that I smoke a passionflower joint, something that she just happened to be selling! It was meant to enhance the trip, but sounded like a whole load of bollocks. As it was only a couple of guilders, I bought it anyway.
After I had smoked it, we started to make our way back to the hotel. A couple of times I thought I felt strange, but I couldnít quite put my finger on why. We got on a tram and rode it all the way back to where our hotel was.
When we got inside, Carl decided to go and have a shower. I sat down and talked to Dave and Norris. Something strange was happening to me and I started to feel very intense.
I started to feel very intense.
I started to railroad the conversation and for about twenty minutes neither Dave nor Norris said a word. They just sat on the edge of their seats and listened, interested in everything I was saying. I canít remember for the life of me what I was talking about but it was surprising cause Dave isnít the kind of guy who will sit quietly for twenty minutes listening to anyone. At that point Carl came out of the shower, which knocked me out of it. I realised how long I had been ranting, so I shut up. At this point, though, I was realising how powerful the mushrooms might be.
We all sat down and started smoking; each of us had a variety of strong weeds. We had brought a couple of tutes with us from home, and I sat there building myself one after another with Skunk and Northern Lights. For those of you who donít know (mostly Americans, I would expect) a tute is basically a pipe stuck in a plastic bottle. It looks like a bong without the cone. It works similar to a bong, but is much better cause you get much more of a hit off it.
After smoking for a while, I suddenly found myself to be totally fucked. Across my vision, three fluorescent lines had appeared. These we superimposed over what was really there. And they moved with my head. Although they would lay themselves over things, they were translucent so I could still see what was really there. At this point I also noticed the door looked very strange. Where the lines of the woodgrain had been before, there were now fluorescent colours. They followed where the wood grain had been, and the colour depended on how dark the wood grain was. I could see the door as a collection of fluorescent yellows, oranges, greens, reds and blues. There were points on the door where the fluorescent colours were dripping off it. The colours were flowing, almost like a liquid oozing down the door, but really slowly.
I was well enjoying myself at this point. I felt great, and all the small hallucinations were excellent. However, things started to take a bad turn. As I have mentioned, none of my friends had tripped before either. I was very aware that I was on my own, and although I was immensely enjoying it, I didnít tell anyone else what I was experiencing. I was also thinking thousands of thoughts a second, and when the thoughts were most intense, it became difficult to communicate.
By now I was starting to trip hard, and I must have looked weird. I was sweating profusely. It was mid-summer, and Amsterdam was scorching, and the shrooms as well, I ended up looking like Iíd just come out of a sauna. I was making less and less sense as my words were getting quite jumbled. Dave and Carl started giving each other knowing looks as well as occasionally side glancing me. Despite being such good friends with them I started to get stupidly paranoid. I knew they were thinking I was fucked up, but now I had started thinking it was they who were fucked up! It was almost as if I forgot about taking the mushrooms, it was like as far as I was concerned I was sober.
The paranoia became quite bad, and as it intensified I started to hallucinate. I was certain that Carl and Dave were taking the piss and I could feel bad intentions being projected from them. Then I started seeing them say the most cutting comments. I saw their faces slightly morph and contort into more evil versions of themselves. I was slightly worried by this, but since I am used to smoking lots of gear, paranoia doesnít really bother me. Admittedly, it was overwhelming to actually see the paranoid delusions I was having. This only lasted a short amount of time, because I quickly regained control. I still felt isolated, but I wasnít worried about what Dave and co. were thinking any more. I was enjoying my trip too much.
Then I started to see another strange hallucination. I started seeing my friends say what they were about to say before they said it! I was certain that I was seeing into the future. I found myself knowing what was going to be said next! At the time I was amazed, but I have since been led to believe that the effect was due to the two halves of my brain not communicating very well. Dave, Carl and Norris decided they wanted to get something to eat. I was in a position where I didnít want anything. I was totally content, happy and enjoying myself. I was no longer capable of really making rational choices; I was virtually at the peak of my trip. I followed everyone out of the hotel, happy to do whatever. Outside, the trip took on a different form. Things were no longer so intense as in the room.
Amsterdam looks amazing in the dark. Thatís not to say it doesnít look great in daylight, just that things take on a new look in the dark. We wandered down to the end of the street and into the opening for the Vondel Park. This was one of the best points of my trip. As we walked into the park, trees seemed to separate in order to let us through. I can best describe what I saw as magical. I had an overwhelming feeling of being in a great place. I saw many different people, just walking along, enjoying themselves, and laughing maybe. The atmosphere was one of the best Iíve ever felt. As our path joined the main one, it looked as though none of what I was seeing was quite real. It had the feel of a film with bad effects, one where you can clearly see the scenery in the background has been pasted on, and that the actors are really in front of a blue screen, never actually there.
We walked through the Vondel Park for a while. I was feeling very strange now; my legs seemed to be propelled on their own. I just kept walking, but without actually having to walk. Similar to being stupidly stoned or drunk, only it seemed more real.
Once we came out of the magical Vondel Park, we jumped on a tram. This was going to take us to Central Station. From here we knew where all the life was. Once the tram started moving, the visuals became amazing. This was definitely the peak of my trip. I saw everything look totally fucked up. All the neon lights trailed and shot colourful lines from them. It seemed as though I was on a ride at a funfair. The movement of the tram just added to the amazing visuals that were created from the ever-changing views. Then I started to think about my existence and my relevance in the Universe. Suddenly I found all the buildings were just images, blocks, put onto the fabric of the Universe. As I thought about it, I could see the Universe underneath everything around me. I perceived it as a green mesh, which everything we know is pasted onto. This was one of the most amazing things I have ever experienced. Suddenly, for the first time, I was totally at peace, everything seemed to make sense--life, death, the Universe and more!
I was dragged from these strange spiritual thoughts by suddenly realising that the tram had stopped among a ring of people. Outside, a huge crowd clapped and shouted as a couple of blokes juggled with huge sticks set on fire. My friend Carl suddenly felt compelled to get up. Caught up in the atmosphere that this great entertainment was creating, I got up as well. As Carl and I got off the tram, Dave and Norris followed.
The next half-hour or so was an extreme adventure. I was experiencing the world in a way I never had before, and what a world! We had ended up right in the middle of the main entertainment district of Amsterdam. We quickly lost interest in the fire jugglers, and started wandering through the streets. I can only remember a bit of the next half an hour or so. I remember lots of lights and colours, people sitting outside eating, drinking and smoking. I saw other people who had looks on their faces similar to what mine must have been. Big wide pupils, and expressions of confusement, contentment or bewilderment.
It seemed to me as though I was a cloud of gas. I could no longer feel my body, but it was moving, floating, I suppose. I was chain-smoking cigarettes. They were so good! Each drag I could feel going through me, but it was amazing 'cause I couldnít even feel me!
Eventually, after what seemed an eternity of walking, we ended up in a McDonaldís. I was starting to come down now, and for the first time in a while, I was able to hold a conversation. I didnít want any food, didnít even feel slightly hungry. So while everyone else shovelled burgers down their gobs, I skinned up. Although itís legal, this old couple on the next table gave me some right evil looks. I was still much too dosed up to give a shit. I enjoyed that joint a lot, but I was a little saddened that the trip had ended, or at least was ending.
Anything else I experienced that night seems like chicken shit compared to the part I have explained above.
I tripped several times more that holiday, but none of the experiences were like that. All very different though.
I believe this trip taught me a lot. It put me on a road to discovery and enlightenment. One of the most tangible changes in me was to do with my scientific and logical outlook on life. I found awe and wonder in the Universe, its great size and the amazing stellar events that take place within it (including the one that brought us into existence). I was given the chance to look on Amsterdam, its variety of colours and the vibrant life there, with the eyes of a child. I could see the wonder in all that was before me, particularly the Vondel Park and the busy tourist-filled neon lit streets. I could be filled with awe by the smallest, and maybe even insignificant thing. I truly understood for the first time that we really donít know anything and have since seen the world in a much less logical light. For the fist time in my life I feel ready to embrace an idea that would be seen as religious.
This trip also made me completely lose my fear of death. I canít decide whether this is because I no longer believe, or at least believe to know, that death is final, or perhaps because of something deeper.
The last course of thinking I was invited on by the mushrooms was one of perception. I had often thought that we each live in a separate world simply because our beliefs differ so staggeringly from each other. As I was always so fond of pointing out to one religious friend, ďAt the end of my life my existence ceases, at the end of your life, an eternal life in happiness. Surely we live in different worlds?Ē The mushrooms showed this to be even more true than I thought before and I have gone on to wonder about the true nature of things and the way we perceive them.
Anyway I reckon Iíve babbled on long enough, so all thatís left is for me to wish you all happy tripping!
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