Citation: Will. "Horrible Trip Made Me Want to Die: An Experience with Products - Spice and Synthetic Cannabinoids ('Trainwreck') (exp88715)". Erowid.org. Jan 14, 2011. erowid.org/exp/88715
I had stayed up all night studying for my two exams in the morning. I slept for about 45 minutes total the night before. That day I had had nothing to eat and one cup of medium coffee in the morning. I decided that, after my exams, I was going to celebrate, so I took two big hits of mint flavored Trainwreck, a brand of JWH.
The effects were serious. I first started watching some NFL highlights but then realized that I should probably go to bed, so I put in my earplugs and put on my eye shades and tried to sleep. I couldn't stop laughing because I was too messed up. I decided that it'd be best to take a shower in order to chill out so I could get some sleep. The shower didn't help at all. I started talking to myself out loud, whispering the words. Every word I said sparked a huge synesthetic reaction in my mind. Every word exploded with colors and lights and sounds and I couldn't make sense of anything in the world that was happening. I couldn't stop thinking about colors, numbers, letters, words. Everything I said, including my own name, felt so strange.
Then I got the idea in my head that this was the end: that I was permanently going to feel this way. I couldn't function at all. I was too stupid and retarded to do anything, and those words, saying them a loud, increased my synesthetic reaction to them. I started panicking because I didn't know if I had completely ruined my life and that I was going to be like this forever.
The shower felt good, but it wasn't enough. I had to get out of the shower midway through to walk around my room and make sure I was okay. I walked around my room naked, going to the different corners of my room, and eventually sitting on my sink with my back against the mirror, praying to God with all my strength that I wasn't going to be like this forever, and that I'd never smoke spice again. I actually felt like I was going to die. I was afraid that the chemicals had finally caught up to me and permanently altered my brain so that I couldn't function normally ever again.
I checked my eyes and they were fine after eye drops, and I was able to move around normally and do things normally, but my brain was just overloaded with the senses. I eventually sat down and wrote on a piece of paper in order to see if I was going to be okay. At first I thought that I wasn't on different levels, that I was really like this in real life, so I freaked out. I wrote in very scared, broken letters 'I'm not stupid. I'm just really high. I promis I'e ll never do this again. I promise I' won't do this again. Please God help me. I' Just like that exactly with all the typos. My writing was broken, misspelled, jumbled, dyslexic garbage (I'm not dyslexic in the least). I felt a little better after looking at myself in the mirror and realized that I was just too messed up. I finished my shower and I just remember thinking that I was in the movie Inception, and I was on the sixth sublevel of my own mind - I had just gone too deep.
I decided that in order to feel better, I needed to masturbate. I wrote myself another letter, 'I'm okay, I think the peak is over. I'm going to masturbate and hopefully that will bring me up another level. Shower made matters worse.' Just like that exactly. I watched some porn and truly believe that I'd never be able to get off. I was worried that I'd never be able to climax again. After a while I finally did, and the climax felt just like it had been the whole time - I felt the same through the entire session. Afterward, I got into my pajamas and tried to go to bed. I still felt really bad, but suddenly hope appeared. I felt that I was trapped in a floating cubic structure that was dark, blood red, but there was one white net underneath one of the cubes that I felt onto. It allowed me to see the outside world - a world where I wasn't so high anymore. It gave me great hope that, although the trip wasn't over, it was going to end at some point. Eventually, some rolling around in bed caused me to fall asleep.
When I woke up, I felt hungover, but I knew it was over. I feel really out of it right now, really tired and really drained. I slept for about 2 hours total. I remember smoking around 12:30 pm and then not being able to go to bed until 2:45 pm. I woke up when my alarm went off at 4:30 pm and got sushi, a beer and some wine tasting. I promised that I'd never do spice again to God, and I want to honor that promise, but part of me feels like it was just a really bad trip. I don't ever want to feel that way again, and I'm afraid that if I smoke spice again, God will punish me for breaking my promise to him and permanently make me psychotic. I'm hardly religious at all, but I felt a strong presence of God during the whole experience. It was the worst time I've ever been on spice. I don't understand how I got so fucked up from two hits, albeit they were pretty deep hits that almost induced coughing, but I think it was the mixture of total sleep deprivation, caffeine surge and the spice together.
I would recommend that, to anyone who is using Spice products to be able to get baked and pass a drug test, to REALLY take it easy. Take a hit, sit on it for 10 minutes at least, then take another one until you're at the level you want to be. I took too much too fast and it was awful.
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