Citation: Reid B. "Oh God There Goes My Heart: An Experience with Mushrooms, Cocaine & Cannabis (exp88633)". Erowid.org. Dec 31, 2013. erowid.org/exp/88633
It was May of 2009 when I had graduated high school in Louisiana. I had just got out for the summer and had no money to go straight to college for Fall Semester of '09 so I decided to have fun with it I guess you could say. I had been smoking pot since I was 15 and it was no big thing to me. At the point of me graduating me and my friends would smoke about an ounce a day of just some regular schwag. After a month into summer it just became too boring to keep the same daily routine of partying and smoking, that me and my close friends N and T decided to make a change for the 'crazy'.
So so on through out that crazy summer of ours (that then I felt I would remember for all my life but now it seems to become harder and harder to remember), we had us a bunch of first times. Using X, Lsd, Mushrooms, Cocaine, Delsym and all the other things the kids were getting high on.
The night we tried Mushrooms, my close friend B call me and asked if I'd be interest[ed]. Oh boy I would
! It was around July now and me and the boys had already been binging on a lot, and I mean a lot
of XTC. So at this point we were all ready to try out are first real hallucinogen. B gave me a call after meeting with his connect and met up with us. T, N, and I were hanging out with Allie and Kelsey who were rolling at that point in the Wendy's parking lot. He had given us 3, what looked liked very large Reese's Cups which were rapped in tin foil. I could not wait to rip into mine and just eat it up. They were 2.5 gram mushrooms in chocolate bars. We consumed our chocolate bars and went on with driving around our city and having fun.
About 45 min. later while still driving around, I remember telling Allie to turn down the music and said, 'guys, I don't know if these are real because I don't feel the mushrooms but I just feel really really good
.' It had felt like I had taken 45 Lortabs and was just supper relaxed. After this Allie and Kelsey had to go home so they drove us to my mother Apt which reminded me of this crack house because we sort of turned it into one. We were always bringing in drugs and doing shit there while she was gone and this weekend was no different, only that it was mushrooms and cocaine instead of pot. Me, N and T walked up to the house all goofy like a bunch of insane people ready to get crazy.
As I opened the door I felt this rush of freezing cold air from the apt drift into my face and saw nothing but black with a blue light illuminating from the middle of the apt. I will remember the coldness of that apartment for a long long time. I had all the lights off except the screen saver from the computer which was an aquarium. At this point we were seeing mild visuals and overall feeling good. Walking around the apt with all the lights off except for the PC screen which was making the walls turn blue. After awhile we decided to get a visualizer from my laptop and turn it on. We all crawled onto the bed and watched for about 20 minutes and the lights flew from off the screen into my room. After getting bored with that, we turned the lights on and noticed that we were getting stuck to walls, we were all getting a feeling of being glued to everything that our bodies touched. This made us laugh hysterically causing the people living below us to give us a few hard knocks on the ceiling with a broom hah.
After our scary thought that the people below us were going to call the cops because that somehow they had super powers and knew that we were kids high on mushrooms and and not just noisy kids, we resumed playing in our wonderland. N decided to stand over a lamp while me and T layed down on my bed. N and I had always claimed we were brothers because we looked so similar but I was about to be amazed at what I was about to see. As N stood over the light silent, T and I couldn't believe our eyes. N started turning into Me. Without me or T taking our eyes off him, I remember touching T and saying, 'dude, this is me right her laying on the bed next to you but I swear to God that that's me standing over the light. At any point while we were staring I new N would finally say something like, 'Does it really look like I'm You?!' But he never said a word which made me and T kinda freak out. After this we forced N to say something so me and T didn't go towards the dark hole of bad trip
A cigarette is what we needed. We decided to leave my apartment and walk downstairs for a smoke. Starting to catch mad visuals, me and N walk to the door with T leading when all of a sudden 'BOOM' T forgets how to walk and falls on the ground. It was the funniest thing, him being a very goofy person already, watching him fall and claim that he can't feel his legs and that he doesn't know how to walk, made it that much funnier. After a minute he finally made it down and sat while we smoked. While enjoying our visuals and very heart to heart conversations I got a phone call around midnight from a sad ex girlfriend looking for drugs. Obviously desperate because she normally wouldn't have called me, she knew I could get them so we decided to drive to pick her up.
Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. Don't do it!]
N, at 16, the youngest of us, was forced to be our driver. T and I wanted to enjoy our visuals even at the cost of N driving us off the road to our deaths. We pick up Emily and make a call and drive to the hood to score her some blow. As we roll up to 69th street in Cedar Grove, we creep through the hood like a bunch of white kids ready to get pulled over. Duchie, my dealer, hits me up on the phone and says, 'what window white boi?' I told him the driver window and as I was rolling down the window, Duchie runs up to the car, and I mean hauling ass, drops off a bag of green and a little bag of blow. We get our treats and head home while constantly screaming 'I'm ON DRUGS! I'm ON DRUGS!'
We made it back to the crack house and stumbled upstairs while slowing coming down from our trip. Hoping that a little pot would hit the spot and bring us back up, N and T began breaking down some green for a few a blunts. Meanwhile, Emily and I were in the bathroom, or office if you will, cutting down the sugar for use. While Emily was rushing to get that coke in her nose, I started thinking to myself 'she looked really cracked out...why is she shaking so much and so eager to get this in her nose?' It was very disgusting watching her do it and when she made me out a line I really wanted to do it but didn't know if I should. I didn't feel that I was tripping as hard as my friends so I decided to do it anyway. I asked her how to do it even though it was very obvious....head down, sniff hard, come up trembling and roll your eyes to the back of your head. Easy! I could do it, it just seemed dirty. I did a very very very small line and immediately started cleaning the bathroom. I told Emily to start cleaning my room while I cleaned everything else haha. It was a very goofy situation.
After everything was cleaned I grabbed my guitar and sat down in the kitchen where N and T were working vigorously to roll blunts to get their fix. The guys got them rolled and we all decided to go down stairs to blaze. As we got down in front of the apt, there is a sort of enclosed patio with two brick window openings in which people usually sit on. N and T both sat on one while Emily sat on the other. I on the other hand was walking across the street and then back over and over because I was speeding so hard. I took a few hits of the first blunt but that was it, I was having to much fun to even worry about getting high and so I decided to go upstairs and get on my laptop's video recorder. Leaving N and T downstairs to do their thing, I was upstairs doing a very stupid thing of recording myself on drugs. I was talking 1000 miles and hour and just being goofy. After awhile me and Emily were up stairs just talking when I heard N and T come through the front door and then laid on the guest bed. I had not known yet what had happened downstairs while the guys were alone.
It turns out N had blacked out and fallen off the ledge and hit his head on the corner of a concrete block. We had been rolling the nights previous to this night and it must have just come from exhaustion. Because N passed out after falling he had not known what he had fallen on, neither had T. Going on, while the guys were laying on the bed just talking about things, N feels the back of his head and looks at his hand and sees blood. They first decide not to tell me because of how bad off I was at this point. But after the terror, and I mean very visual terror set it, T walked up to me and said 'Dude, N hurt himself.' His words pierced my ears and I began to get a loud ringing in my ears and I immediately got tunnel vision which stuck with me for most the remainder of the night. My heart began pounding as if it was going to jump out of my chest.
'Is he Okay?' I replied. 'He is bleeding and his head is cut open pretty bad' T answers. As my vision got worse I made my way quickly downstairs. 'Where are you going!?' T questioned. Choking on my breath 'I can't, I can't I have to get away, I'm about to have a heart attack,' I answered back.
As I made my way down stairs, the dark staircase began moving slowly. My movements were rapid but the shadows were moving and the terror I was experiencing was like no other. I made it down stairs and outside, looked up and just said, 'I Love You'. I don't remember who I was talking to at the time but I believe it was my Dad. I remember telling my self out loud. 'Your 17 years old Reith, and you have ODed on Coke and your about to die.' I decided to walk back into the apt from the front door but as I opened the door, everything went into slow motion. The door creaked so loudly and I walked into this white room with a white light above me and I dropped to my knees at the bottom of the stair case. At this point I feel on the verge of a heart attack. My chest is hurting very badly, along with my left arm and I feel in dire need of water. Dreading to get back up in the freezing cold of the apt, I crawl up the stairs to the door. As I walk through and turn the corner, I stood in the dark apartment. I see, in tunnel vision, N standing in front of the lit up bathroom mirror with another mirror to help him see his head. As he stood their wobbling as if though he was in shock, I began to get a very bad feeling. In my mind, if I did not get water, I was going to fall over dead. I walked into my unlit kitchen and tried to turn on the sink. Feeling as though I had lost a lot of blood, I felt empty and lost all coordination and stumbled passed the sink missing the handle. I finally made it up to the sink and turned on the water for a quick drink. Meanwhile, my house was a living hell. Since we had all done more drugs, and the scare of N, we were all tripping very hard again.
As I slowly started to feel as if I could finally talk I called everyone into my room to talk about the situation. T and Emily gather while N was still digging into the back of his gouged bloodied head. He was stuck in the thought of sure death. When he walked into the room, I will never forget the look on his face. His eyes were pitch black, it looked like he was possessed by a demon, with a liquid paper white face. He looked very pale and worried. We were all shaking because everyone was so high that we couldn't fix the air conditioning. Everyone was under covers shaking while trying to figure out what we could do with N. We tried different solutions because we were terrified that bringing him to the doctor would get us all in very big trouble. I know this scared N because I just knew he was thinking we were going to leave him to die instead of getting in trouble. He insisted, 'Get me and ambulance!'
Instead we called Allie and Kelsey and asked if they could but the couldn't leave there house. The news of what had happened and the fact that they couldn't even understand us because were so scared and fucked up beyond belief, frightened them even more. We were all alone in a crack house with a wounded friend. We all thought he was going to die while still I was on the verge of a heart attack along with demonic auditory hallucinations and evil visuals hallucinations. We finally got Leanne on the phone and she came to our rescue. She did not know the city very well so I had to give her turn by turn directions to the apt. Each minute waiting on her was devastating to our spirits. But despite the long wait she finally made it and brought N to the hospital.
After he had left, Me and T felt better and decided to leaving the freezing apt full of bad spirit to go to his house to sleep. But that want an option. We tripped out and experience bad anxiety the whole night thinking about are buddy N.
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