Citation: Jesus Raves. "X'ed Out without MDMA: An Experience with Methylone, Morphine, Hydromorphone, Ziprasidone & Cannabis (exp87055)". Erowid.org. Oct 25, 2011. erowid.org/exp/87055
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The weird thoughts are starting to run through my mind since I skipped my antipsychotic this morning. I donít want to take major drugs with it, and tomorrow I plan to do some serious drugs. I do fine even while having these weird thoughtsÖthey have a ďcertain flavorĒ Ö.I recognize them as a product of my fucked-up brain chemistry. Itís only when theyíve been going through my head for days that I lose the will to fight them and start believing them completely. Itís crazy, any time I want to trip, all I have to do is skip meds. But itís a crapshoot like acidóit may or may not be a good trip. And it really interferes with my life either way, because even a good trip is filled with cosmic bullshit. I donít like to skip meds. Unless I am afraid of a drug interaction, I take my antipsychotics religiously. I hate to miss a dose. I hate being insane. Most of the time itís a real shitty feeling. Most of the time.
I think skipping the meds and feeling weird interferes with my set and setting. But thereís not much I can really do about it. God knows I wouldnít skip it if I were doing acid, but the mind-numbing and less than insightful, less than head-trippy narcotics and methyloneÖIíll be fine.
3:03am Just got back from my best friendís house. I want to go ahead and trip, but think I would feel better if I got some sleep.
3:37am Typical Alcohol-induced insomnia from drinking with friends. And I already have insomnia. Thereís no way I will sleep. Might as well trip. I got $120 worth of narcotics for $50 today from a trusted friend who I buy from once a month. She really hooks me up. Otherwise, I wouldnít do narcotics because they are too damn expensive. This month I am going to try mixing narcotics with methylone. Feel soooo tired, wish I could sleep first. But it will be nice watching the sun come up on drugs.
3:40 Pre-dosed with something called ďFinnergenĒ or something. My dealer says it is prescribed to take with narcotics to kill nausea. I usually dose 3 benadryl an hour before and never have any problems. But she swears this stuff will enhance my buzz so Iím trying it.
Going to go back to bed and try to sleep but if I canít by 4am I am going to trip.
3:56 As much as Iíd like to sleep before this trip, I have a headache. I never get headaches. Going outside to smoke & then I will dose.
4:20 Laid down again to sleep to no avail, so finally Iíve done it and dosed 120 mg morphine. Although morphine sometimes Gives me a headache, maybe this time it can help alleviate one. Since itís 4:20 I will break up the bud Iíve been saving for this occasion. I also feel a little fucked up off the Finnergen. Plan to smoke pot till it kicks in and chat in my chat room, see whoís up this early/late. I hate tripping alone but what choice do I have? Yes, I know it can be exciting at times.
5:06 The morphine just kicked in. Feels blissful, as usual. Chatting in the chat room, a very slow conversation with not much happening. Lots of time to space out and enjoy the buzz. Itís still dark outside and all the world is asleep. The headache is a little better but still there. I tried to smoke pot but was amotivated.
5:11 Dizziness, euphoria, inability to concentrate.
5:51 Been laying in bed enjoying the feeling. Now it is time to take the M1 so the peaks coincide. Iím really nervous about doing this, but undue anxiety is from not taking meds as I havenít felt this way any other time Iíve considered this experiment.
6am 125mg M1 in sugar-free raspberry ice kool aid. Tasted bad. The 125mg was very inaccurate. I am still nervous. I am going to take meds as soon as the methylone ends. My face feels hot. Iím thirsty. Will smoke a bit of weed.
6:11 M1 felt like it gave me some energy for once. I have found (like with pot) that sometimes one has to do a drug multiple times before they really ďget it.Ē This is my third time w/ methylone, and I ďget itĒ now. It is, after all, very euphoric (way beyond the effect of the narcotics). I always doubted that, but there is no doubt now that I am euphoric. The narcotics opened my mind to the possibility that I would feel good today. Methylone is possibly therapeutic. I didnít even get this the first two times, probably because of my expectations. I donít think itís just the morphine, because I have been doing narcotics once a month for god knows how long. So I know this effect is new, so therefore due to the methylone. It is like MDMA after all. A surprising Lot like mdma.
6:33 The sun came up. I love this combo. I thought I was having CEVís and auditory hallucinations, but Iím not sure. M1 also makes me feel better if I havenít taken my meds. The anxiety and nervousness are gone. Iím not thinking about taking my meds every six minutes. This happened the last time I took m1. Not that it would make a good antipsychotic, though, because it doesnít exactly place me in reality. But feeling good itself is good for me and puts me in a better mood, etc, state dependent memory. The feeling stays with me for days.
Temperatures a little exaggerated but I can leave the A/C on if I snuggle under the covers. Going to go snort a 4mg dilaudid and then do that
7:58 Braved the outside to smoke a cig and the morning was beautiful! I wanted to go walking but was worried about overheating. I feel super. M1 and narcotics go well together. The narcotics somewhat overpower the M1. Itís kind of like the beginning of a smack roll. Tingly and good. MMMMM. I think this trip report is pretty boring so far. Itís weird. I never even put on any music yet. I am liking the ambient noise in here. May just sit in silence all day. I would be totally happy.
8:08 Nah, music and weed are needed.
8:15 man is it good to take a huge hit of weed & not cough (because of the narcotics)! Listening to some hard trance.
8:31am Soooo calm. Peaceful. Serene. Like a moment of serenity that lasts and lasts.
A frozen, shimmering, suspended moment of peace, that lasts for hours. Itchy peace. Everythingís right
8:42 Twice this has happened now: a chartreuse VW bug like, how can I explain this? ďDroveĒ into my thoughts and startled me! With the no sleep I am falling into this weird dreamlike state, no where near nodding off, not like that, but just dreamlike thought trains of random senseless beauty. Wow, Iím actually hungry. I think I way erred on the safe side with the 125mg. I have never redosed with this drug as so many people have, but Iíd have time today if I wanted. Donít know if I will yet. Maybe. It would be fun.
9:19 Wow! What a surprise! I had vivid OEVís in the bathroom. Electric blue snakey things were scribbling around on each of the tiles. They turned into cartoon people and then disappeared. I think adding 2ci to m1 might also bring out the visuals I failed to see on 2ci alone. Have to try that next. Itís tempting to go do some now but I think I will redose just the m1 and save that for a second experiment. The visuals convinced me to redose the m1, maybe I will see more. This time I poured ď125mgĒ into a Huge glass of Raspberry hoping to dilute it and not taste it, but it still tastes like ass and now there is a lot of it to drink, too.
9:23 In my mind I saw my friend of 15 years who dealt me these narcotics and she said to me, ďAs you get older and older, you start to be able to walk through cars. You walk through the walls. You are already fading.Ē Totally random ass shit. M1 makes whole strings of just random images words etc whatever pop up in my mind. The typical M1 spastic shakiness is displaying itself.
9:26 the moment is thick like being immersed in honey slooooooowwwwwwwwww & sweet.
9:27 Scratching feels so good. Really hits the spot. Iím still drinking the methylone beverage.
9:34 I swallowed it! Now to lay back down for a while. P.S. They added ďchillaxinĒ to the Oxford Unabridged. Wow.
9:42 Saw a person out of the corner of my eye but of course there was no one there. The imaginary driver of the imaginary VW bug perhaps? I was surprised I wasnít more startled. It looked real out of the corner of my eye. But I am just chillaxin on it now so I guess that explains it. Just a note about narcotics. I have to watch out that I donít rub my nose and face raw because it does make my nose tickle like a mofo, so I am constantly rubbing my face and have sometimes dried out my skin on my face by rubbing it (unnoticeable, but it feels bad. Now I am more careful). And it also makes it hard to pee.
9:46 Feeling an onset of the second wave of methylone, which makes my scalp tingle.
10:50 Just snorted the last pill, a 4mg dilaudid. I am beyond fucked up, and no words can describe how it feels. I will try it with 2ci next. Word to the wise, if you are going to play with highly addictive substances like narcotics donít use them more than once a month. You are playing with fire.
10:59 Another Finnergrien just in case. Meanwhile, words canít describeÖ..
11:19 Lost in Euphoria. Nauseaous. I would describe the last hour and a half straight as ďblowing the fuck up!Ē
11:36 My synapses feel maxed out but I feel like Iím still peaking.
So I think this may be the peak!
Warm, speedy, happy, euphoric, just wholesome good. 11:45am.
I am receiving the 3rd phone call that wonít quit since this morning. Obviously if I donít pick up the phone on the 27th ring, I probably wonít on the 28th. So give up already!
Itís rude to let it ring more than five times. Karma all at once for zoning out on phone calls at work and letting them ring for a minute.
There is only ONE negative thing about this whole experienceÖwaitÖwhat was it? Oh yeah, oh no wait, whoops, itís gone Now!
It was that I felt itchy, actually.
12:15 mmmmmm weed. My face will surely be rubbed raw in the morningÖ.
12:24 Hate the weird expressions it puts on my face. Was having a convo with someone in my head and he told me to get him some astringent and suddenly I realized I was in the bathroom with my hand on the astringent getting it for him. I usually donít see people, just patterns. And I usually donít do stuff like find myself suddenly in the bathroom getting someone who isnít real some astringent. I blame not sleeping.
12:29 Taking more m1. Whatís wrong with me aaaargggeh! I will shake like a leaf Monday and tues. But worth it. Donít know how much I took, not much though. Canít taste it in the cranberry kool aid. Well, sort of. Ass.
I just drank half. Weíll see what that does.
1:02 Done with it all. Iím starting to blow up again, so gonna lay down. Never makes me want to dance, MDMA, or anything. Makes me want to lay down and enjoy the feeling.
1:22 Random, random thoughts. The cranberry drink after I brushed my teeth doesnít help. While it is an uneventful trip, I am enjoying every wild, free moment. Theyíve got some kind of lodge around here. Is it OK to go to a mtg and ask qs. Wait, I donít understand why I wrote those last two sentences. There is no ďlodgeĒ around here, what kind of lodge? what was I talking about?! Fucken shit. Not sleeping the night before a trip makes me delirious. This is so not like me. I am just going to keep including these random things I type, if it happens again.
1:43 warm and burning feeling flowing through me and I keep looking at the time to see if I should start getting ready for work, and remembered I didnít have to be in Ďtill mid afternoon Monday. Wow, empathy and euphoria are both present. I havenít been able to achieve either with m1 before but now I see what people are talking about!
It was very hot when I went outside to smoke, but a beautiful day!
2:12 My theory is that the doses after the first dose of m1 are speedier.
2:22 I am delirious, have been for a while. What was I going to say? Duhhhhhh. The finnergin work well, I only felt nausea that one time I mentioned it. Didnít puke once, which is semi-unusual. Still uncontrollably rubbing my face and scratchingÖ.ahhhhhÖ.think Iíll go lay in bed again.
2:53 bliss and pleasure. Iíve been blowing the fuck up for hours. Canít remember when Iíve felt so much pleasure in one day, even though I take narcotics once a month. This is better. It feels so right.
2:54 My friend is reading a book I wrote, and likes it! Smacking my lips and licking them uncontrollably. Breathing feels wonderful. This is everything I wanted m1 to be! Wish I had more weed. Itís gone. Drank another methylone beverage instead. Didnít plan on doing ThatÖ.
4:21 Lightning and thunder outside! Cozy in here. No personal temperature problems today. Am going to smoke resin.
4:31 can stand it no more and took a double dose of antipsychotics with a small dinner.
4:41 I already feel it. The best chemical in the world: Geodon, my antipsychotic. What a relief. I canít go more than 24 hours without feeling weird. But if I take it, I am as normal as the next hippie, ha ha.
4:53pm food is hard to swallow & tastws blue
4:54 What the fuck did I just write? ďtastws blueĒ It tastes blue? Who knows. Allright Iím tired of being the only one in the office to laugh at my jokes. I am always the only one in the building and so I talk to myself, is what I mean. I hate being alone sometimes. Just plain tired, too. Love Ya! And let me chime in with my usual the Boss of Great, and the moneyís on a cc or aÖwhat the hell was I talking about? Really having to force down this dinner, ugh. I need a smoke. I am not making sense, I realize that. So sue me.
5:42 Been laying in bed, peaceful. Wish there were someone else here who wasnít imaginary. I feel great, so totally fantastic it is making me breathe hard like during orgasm. But itís better than orgasm because it just keeps going and going. Better go outside before I breathe any and get sick. (What did that last line mean anyway? I dunno, but I typed it!).
6:00 Delerium. I was doing something, forgot, started doing something else, was scared by one of the big mean matter. Yes I just wrote that. What could it possibly mean? Big mean nurses, I think I meant to say. But there are no nurses here. ??? Memories of the insane asylum.
Itís starting to fade after over 12 hours. Big doses last forever. I still have like 2 whole grams of methylone left for hopefully someone to try with me and enjoy. This time I did feel euphoric, unlike the first two times. Just enjoy the breeze blowing in.. Wonít dose anything else tonight, as Iím sure Iíll aready (I typed always) be ready for the next day. OOOOOOhhh they are playing some GOOD STUFF ! on techno.fm
6:27 I just erased that whole last paragraph I wrote cos it didnít make any sense Mostly it was me giving my relatives that Iíve known all my life, a hard time. I have just given up on my dadís side they donít talk to me because I am crazy (which is not my fault! It is an illness like any other!) . We were never close, though, so thereís not much to miss.
I love the people in my life right now. Canít think off of the top of my head if I hate anyone (so probably not, it would have to be significant) I wish they were tripping with me, surfing on the waves of the energy--or whatever.
Jaw clenching, eyes have rolled back at some point Iím almost sure, as they probably must have been all day but now that Iím coming down I notice those side effects. I am also getting that eye-shaking thing (ďnyst-something?Ē) which I have never experienced in my life but read about in trip reports! Something is happening. What gave me the first (I donít know how this sentence was supposed to end.)
I forgot what I was saying. Anyway, itís probably after 5pm and this gut-wrenching
What the hell was I going to say There? What was wrenching my guts? I sweat this shit gives me ADD: Iím doing one thing, then moving on to an entirely different thing but not finishing any of it.
6:50 forgot what I was gonna say there too.
6:54 We went on a walkÖand never came back! (I have no idea why I thought this or said this, I didnít go walking)
7:00 Itchy, happy, thinking about my friend I just talked to on the phone. I gave her a dose of M1, but she says sheís lost it. Iíll give her another. I have plenty to give her again so it aint no sweat. I wonder if she will like it as much as C & M did?
7:08 Out of the corner of my eye I could see my boss sitting on the floor next to me. When I turned to look, he was gone, I cannot put my finger on it nowÖ.Iíll spare yíall ok. But my check was there this week so I felt well taken-care of.
7:10 Beautiful sensations are crawling under my skin, Itís getting dark outside, and I have to pee brb 4 now. Gonna go smoke too, brb again. Methylone IS Euphoric! I guess I had to take it a few times to get the gist, like I said. Like I said, kind of like with weed. Iíve moved this chemical from 3 out of 5 to 5 stars. It may be in my top ten or fifteen after all, and Iíve tried a lot of shit. Iím much enjoying myself! Wish the internet wasnít down so I could watch some more episodes of ďDead Like Me.Ē Iíve watched every episode except the last two or three. Itchy! And scratching is so satisfying.
7:31 Time FliesÖ. Itís very tactile this time, I would love to roll around in a huge king sized bed with satin sheets. I feel so positive, so uplifted, it is like therapy. I get used to that state of mind and my mind grows in that way. Iím going to try to go find someone to hang out with. I am craving some human contact.
7:39 Truly Bizarre: I saw another person standing behind my tv, out of the corner of my eye. It doesnít frighten me. Thank goodness. No idea where T, Z, and S would have stood for it. Okay enough inside jokes.
7:59 Had some good OEVís. Outside having a smoke, I watched leaves morph into animals and darting presences in nature. Everything is swimmy. I think Iíll call my BFF and see what sheís up to.
12:55am When I came down enough to drive I went over to hang out with my bff M. and got back here about 20min ago. I feel fine as of now, maybe a little better/more energetic than usual but we will have to see. I felt very lucid, clear-headed, and euphoric/empathic with my friend. But I love hanging out w/ her anyway. Glad I have someone to hang out w/ at the end of my trip, even if she didnít trip with me (she has too many responsibilities to trip).
Even though I took more m1 than ever yesterday, I have absolutely no hangover today for the first time ever, didnít have one Monday (yesterday) either! No shakiness, no weird face feeling. Either my body is getting used to m1 or several times is the key. And as far as the combo, I canít imagine taking my monthly narcotic trip without m1 now, because it feels so good. I will do it from now on! This is definitely a combo one shouldnít miss, esp. if you like MDMA and ďthe rush!Ē
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