Citation: HippiexChild. "My Trigger: An Experience with Cannabis (with PCP) (exp85961)". Erowid.org. Aug 29, 2011. erowid.org/exp/85961
Some authors report suspicions that their cannabis has been 'laced' (adulterated), in some cases, presumably with PCP. While this is possible, readers should be aware that idiosyncratic response to the effects of cannabis (usually higher doses) can lead some users to presume their cannabis has been 'laced'. There is no way to know if the cannabis in the report below was adulterated or not. Reports of plant material and cannabis laced with powerful synthetic cannabinoids and other psychoactive substances became more common starting in 2007.]
First off, I've had a really colorful drug history. For a while I was a DXM user. I also used other psychadelics occasionally. I finally graduated to opiates. From then on, I was an addict. The death of my ex girlfriend drove me to stay away from the real world. One day, I remembered something she told me. She had always wanted me to quit... Those words keep echoing in my head everyday when I was high. So one day, After being in trouble so much and realizing what I was becoming, I saught help. I met this incredible doctor. He prescribed me suboxone. The suboxone, for a while, killed any cravings I had. I thought I was luckiest guy alive. I could live life and get a legal high at the same time. But after too long, I got bored of the high. It started to get less and less stronger everyday as I built up a tolerance to it. Before I go on, my health problems because of my drug abuse resulted in: Mitral Valve Prolapse, And I'm pretty sure General Anxiety Disorder. I also have had other health problems my whole life including, Bipolar and ADHD. So after a while, I started to wanted a better high.
I started smoking Marijuana every other weekend if I got bored. I stopped going to town and I pretty much stopped hanging out with friends after I stopped using. So being around the house all the time was boring. At first, The Marijuana mixed perfectly with the Suboxone and I didn't see any problems except that I had to smoke more than an average person because the suboxone would block most of the high. After a couple of incidents, I quit smoking for a while. As I look back, I see all the warning signs that could have avoided this situation I'm in.
When I turned 21, I was thrown a party by my brother and his friends. I ended up smoking again along with drinking. A few months after, I'm still smoking every other weekend again. One particular weekend I was very bored. I figured this would be a good time to try out some of the new marijuana I picked up earlier. I go outside behind my house and get my pipe out. As soon as I lite up, I noticed something is really wrong. The Marijuana tastes a little strange. I only take one big giant hit before I put it down and think that maybe its some sort of new strain I've never tried. I go back around to the porch and light up a cigarette. The high starts to come on, so generally I'm thinking this is nice. I finish my cigarette, and go inside to my room. I sit at my computer and all of a sudden I don't know what the hell is going on. I keep trying to figure out what I'm supposed to be doing. I can't think. My brain is total mush right now. So I get up and thats when my heart starts palpitating. I feel an anxiety attack coming on cause everything just feels so wrong. My breathing is weird. I can't control the way I breathe. That is what was freaking me out the most. And all of these images just start going through my mind. Only someone deranged would think these things. I start to freak out. I go into my sister's room and tell her I'm scared and I don't know what I'm doing.
After about 10 minutes, it gets worse. I'm tripping my ass off and I don't know why. I had to force myself to breathe because my body wasn't wanting to. I tell my sister to go get my mom, it seemed like an eternity before my mom came back to my sister's room. I was crying at this point thinking I was going to die. I was very paranoid thinking that my heart would stop beating any second. They ended up giving me some bread and water. The bread is really hard to get down for some reason so I'm having to drink lots and lots of water everytime I chew. Suboxone normally sobers me up, So I took one and I guess it only made it worse. I generally sobered up after about 4 hours of mind bending horror. I go to my room and everything is fine.
2 days later, its nighttime. And I'm playing the xbox 360. All of a sudden I get this feeling I'm going to die, I start to notice my breathing. And it gets weird to breathe. So I'm very nervous now and I try to calm myself down. It works only if I lay down and watch tv. About 4 more days of suffering I finally go to the hospital. They give me some ativan, and for the first time in forever it seems, I feel normal again. Its the weekend so my doctors office is closed. I desperately tell the medical staff at the hospital to contact my doctor from mental health, he will know exactly what to do. The hospital doctor denies my request and instead calls someone else from mental health.
They come and tell me about this crisis home that is devoted to helping people out and what not. So I figured, sure I'll go. The first night in that place was not that bad... I found out I couldn't smoke until the doctor took me off of suicide watch. So I tried to sleep on the things they call beds. They wake me up at 7 and tell me breakfast is ready. I go eat and go back and lay down. 2 hours later they come tell me that the doctor is read to see me. The doctor I was seeing had no expirence handling drug abusers. He was a drug abuser himself. So he precedes to tell me he is going to take me off all my medications, Including my suboxone, and try me on something else. During the next week, I feel like God hates me and that he has literally sent me to pay for my sins in hell. Withdrawals are harsh. There is absolutely nothing to do but socialize with the crazy people or the drug addicts. I sleep most of the time there because the medicine they put me on doesn't kill my anxiety... And when I'm asleep I'm not anxious and time flies by. After the first 2 days of sleeping in my bed throughout the day, they tell me the doctor wants me to stay up until bedtime. So they don't let me sleep in my bed. Instead I try to sleep on the couches and chairs they have set up in the watch room. If it wasn't for sleep, I wouldn't have made it out of there alive.
I'm on new medications now. I take verapamil, vistaril, magnesium and all my other regular medicines. The doctor won't give me anything good for my anxiety disorder and instead just gives me crap drugs. So I have to suffer for a month until my body feels back to normal. I can't leave the house without being upset and crying. Everything just feels so weird now... Sleeping is weird. Riding in a car is weird. I mean we are in motion, but how? Eating is weird. I ask myself... How did I do all this these years and not realize all this. How did I breathe on my own and not realize I was doing it. Its all so scary!!!!!! I had to drop out of school because of this episode. My doctor diagnosed it as Bipolar I with psychotic features. I'm now trying to get SSI because I don't see myself getting any type of job soon. Plus we have trouble paying for all my medications. I feel like my whole life is ruined. I had that marijuana tested and it tested positive for PCP. I ended up flushing the rest of it down the toilet. I made a promise to myself that I would never do drugs again. My doctor says if I do anymore drugs I risk being put into a sanitarium for the rest of my life. I'm absolutely DONE WITH DRUGS!
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