DOSE:	2.3 g	oral	Mushrooms	(tea)
	5 joints/cigs	smoked	Cannabis

BODY WEIGHT:

145 lb

The shrooms lay on my computer desk for about 3 months, I was uncertain if I wanted to cross over to this new world. My sister is bipolar and I know from experience how fragile and chemically balanced a 'normal' brain is, mine has been working pretty good over the years so I was wary of tampering with it.

I woke up on a certain day and went on MSN (chat application), my friend Bast was online and I asked him if he wanted to do shrooms with me. He had been holding on to his shrooms for quite a while too so he was up for it. He came over and I took my 2.3 grams of shrooms by placing them in a glass of hot water, letting them sit for half a minute and drinking the solution.

Bast chose to administer his dose, a whole 3.5 grams, by chewing on them and swallowing them with cold water. The taste wasn't good, but it wasn't repulsive either.

We had planned on taking a walk in the woods so that's what we set out to do. There was a nice long trail, which was walking distance from the house so we set off on a bright and sunny day to see where this mind bender will lead us. We brought 8 joints, 2 folding chairs and good spirits. We walked and found a side trail for bikes, we followed it and sat down in our chairs, a half hour had passed and my friend started feeling mild effects.

He had done shrooms before so he knew what to expect but he had never done 3.5, thus far he had only ever done 1 gram per trip. At this point I wasn't feeling anything at all and Bast told me 'if I wasn't feeling anything yet, I probably wasn't going to'. I decided to just keep smoking and enjoying the day. Fast forward about 40 minutes, my friend is getting increasingly tired and completely drained of energy. We are exceedingly thirsty and begin walking home. We are about 30 minutes from my house, the day is nice so I didn't mind. My friend wasn't enthusiastic about having to walk, he was buzzing but we couldn't relax, both thirsty we kept walking for my house.

We finally got home after a long walk. I was pretty high on weed and feeling a slight nausea. Bast just took a glass of water and lay on the couch, he didn't seem to want to talk or be spoken to, so for the most part I left him be. I started doing my own thing and as the mushroom trip was coming on strongly I went in my room and put on a song to play and rested on my bed for a little while. I was laughing by myself and getting strong visuals. The best I can describe the visuals as is a 'breath' and 'life' about all normal and static things. The ceiling flowed calmly as if a river was pulsating above my head. When I went outside and looked at a tree all the branches swirled, extended and retracted.

After enjoying myself for about 30 minutes after we got home, I suddenly became worried my friend was having a bad trip. I tried talking to him but he wouldn't acknowledge me or any of my other friends who were present in the house. He gave a long stare, looking very withdrawn and went again to gazing at the wall, the scenery outside or the television. These lack of queues for me just seemed to confirm that my friend was having a bad experience.

I retreated to my room, and felt like it would be safe there and just closed the door and went on my bed. The buzz got intensely stronger and didn't seem to plateau, I felt increasingly anxious that Bast was having a bad trip and got out of my room around 15 times to check on him.

Every time I went to see him I got nothing but a blank stare except two times. I asked 'Are you feeling OK?' and he replied 'What did we do?', as soon as he said this I got increasingly anxious and felt like I didn't know what to do with myself. I retreated to my room and rested in fetal position with my eyes closed, hugged against the wall. I felt drunk and my thought process felt completely unaligned to whatever it had been before, I couldn't remember what thinking 'normally' felt like.

I thought doing normal tasks would keep my mind off all the anxiety I was having, so I decided to go take a shower. I walked out of my room and saw Bast on the couch, I asked him again if he was OK, he replied 'What happened?', I just told him 'We took mushrooms, everything will be alright' and walked in the bathroom to take a shower. The visuals were everywhere at this point, if I chose to concentrate on anything, it was different, everything was different.

I stepped in the shower and the warm water felt very comforting. My mind was racing and I couldn't seem to stop it, if I stopped thinking about what it is I was thinking about, it seemed like 3 more thoughts would pop up in my head and I had no control over what was coming in. I just kept telling myself accept and surrender, go wherever it takes you. It provided a small comfort but the experience was far too real to be able to reassure yourself with a simple mantra.

I got out of the shower, got dressed and came out. Bast was still laying on the couch so I left him alone and brought a big pillow to rest on the back porch. Going outside to rest in the sunshine was the best I felt since I began buzzing strongly, the warming sun felt very comforting and gave a constant flow of relaxation. The sun made me feel like I didn't have to worry because I felt good.

We live in a very open neighborhood and people were walking by while I was on the porch. I didn't want to see anybody so I went to lie down in the backseat of my car, it has tinted windows so I felt like nothing would bother me there. I put on an audiobook but I couldn't concentrate or make sense of it so I turned it off. I came in the house again and I was so anxious and buzzed that I started feeling like I did something very wrong to myself. Like I did something I never should of done and I was wasting my life. I felt increasingly sick and tried to make myself puke in hopes to make it end, after my failed puking attempt I just couldn't sit still. I felt as if I was going through the motions of dying, having my last thoughts. I tried many things to comfort myself, familiar songs, scenic pictures, getting sunshine, walking around... these all helped bit by bit and helped me towards trying to make myself positive and relaxed.

I walked up and down the house. I munched on peanuts and other small snacks and I felt like I was getting a grip on reality after around 4 hours of intense anxiety and discomfort which was mostly mental. I wasn't ready for the levels of anxiety this trip brought me, and the loss of control. I simply didn't know what to expect. I've read so many trip reports, but they simply can't describe what losing your mind feels like.

As my end notes I will list a few points I feel might help other people that are considering experimenting.

1. Wherever you go, in the woods or elsewhere, bring a bottle of water.

2. Do your best to communicate with your friends that you're OK, they might spend half their trip worrying about you.

3. Seclude yourself from people who aren't on shrooms/haven't done shrooms before. People who haven't experienced it will simply not understand.

4. Bring the maximum of things that are comfortable to you in your day. Quotes, good songs, images, videos, anything that you find enjoyable while 'normal' should bring you comfort while buzzed.

5. For your first trip, it's better to trip less than more. The difference between 1.2 grams and 2.3 grams is radically different- I'd go as far as saying it's incomparable.

6. Don't smoke a lot of marijuana. I probably could of avoided 80% of my discomfort/anxiety had I refrained from smoking at all.

7. Don't try to control anything, accept and surrender yourself completely. Your mind and body will no longer be in your possession for the plateau, this is what you must expect.

I find it important to also note, although my experience was mostly bad - I don't regret 1 minute of it. Every single step of the way, every moment I went through that day gave me something to think about for days afterwards. I still feel like I lived several years in that one day.

I talked to Bast the next day, he was on the couch for around 7 hours in the end, he said when I was coming out of my room at certain times in the day he didn't recognize me or where he was. I spoke and he couldn't put my words together, he knew what he wanted to say, but couldn't say it. He just wanted to lay motionless and absorb what was happening. It would of been tremendously helpful for me to know that he was OK, but it was impossible for him to tell me because all lines of communication were severed once he reached the plateau.

Exp Year: 2010	ExpID: 85642
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 25
Published: Feb 12, 2023	Views: 215
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