Cacti - T. pachanoi
Citation: ethereal. "Streaming Cacti: An Experience with Cacti - T. pachanoi (exp85317)". Erowid.org. Dec 2, 2013. erowid.org/exp/85317
Background information: I am a 16 year old male, 55 kilograms in weight, and in good physical health. In regards to mental health, I suffer from panic attacks and insomnia i.e. no trouble falling asleep but rather awakenings during the night, from which it is difficult to return to sleep. Currently, I am in a rather stable and relaxed state of mind; which is why I chose to embark on this experience. I also have a mild cold, and two hours prior to the San Pedro, I ingested 1000mg of acetaminophen, 60mg of pseudoephedrine and 12mg of codeine to eliminate unpleasantness, which would otherwise perhaps detract from the experience.
Previous drug experiences include: codeine, morphine, tramadol, dextromethorphan, chlorobutanol, alcohol, cannabis, tobacco, methamphetamine, zopiclone and dimenhydrinate. There are probably more, but they slip my mind at this time.
During the week I had eagerly purchased a rather large quantity of San Pedro (Trichocereous pachanoi
). My friend and I departed on bikes to pick this up, and what we anticipated to be a short trip (pun intended) either way, morphed into an epic four hour trek. Anyway, we arrived back at my house, and began to prepare the cactus. This was done using the most rudimentary method possible (we were impatient): two pounds of the fresh cactus were measured out, and each pound was pureed separately, along with lemon juice and water to facilitate alkaloid extraction (via conversion to the citrate salt). Sadly, my friend couldn't be present for this experience:
T - 00:00: 225 grams of T. pachanoi
were ingested in the form of the aforementioned puree. I would liken the experience to drinking a hybrid of mucus and vomit; extremely unpleasant.
T - 00:40: Somatic symptoms include mildly increased heart rate, increased alertness and focus is also noted. No acute psychedelia, but I currently feel as though my body has no definite boundaries; rather, it is just an amorphous existence of sensation, which is otherwise unaffected. Very calm and relaxed.
T - 01:00: No change in effects noted.
T - 01:25: I went to stand in a dark room, to check if visuals were present. They were. When my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I saw faint undulations of primary colours flowing through my vision. My body felt immense and incredibly light; almost as if I was being freed from the effects of gravity. I left the room, but this sensation persists. I am capable of holding a coherent conversation with my grandparents.
T - 01:45: Intensification of the previously mentioned effects. Touching objects with my hands is a very enjoyable experience; they are far more sensitive than usual, and objects feel strangely familiar, evoking a sense of déjà vu. Slight stomach upset and cramps. No mental 'enlightenment' or similar effects noted as of yet.
T – 02:10: I decide to take a walk outside. My perception and awareness of my body is radically altered, it wouldn't be possible to describe it without being utterly unintelligible. It is dark and the street is illuminated by the glow of streetlights. I smell the scent of pine and it is overwhelming. Intoxicating. It flows through my head, and for a brief moment, everything but this indescribable aroma ceases to exist. I gaze at a tree for what seems to be an age, watching its branches slowly morph and swirl, feeling its soothing greens and yellows gently caress my eyes. I come back inside and have difficultly interacting. My grandparents begin to argue and their voices cut through the organic, flowing peace engulfing my consciousness like rusty metal thorns, ripping and tearing. It is a horrific aberration and I want to scream. I am in a trance; unable to remove my eyes from the screen, unable to prevent my thoughts flowing onto it through my dancing hands, everything sways, ebbs and flows in a mesmerizing fashion, lulling me into a hypnotized state. People and their voices are terrible to hear, they push against the perfect flowing fluidity of the sensation my consciousness is submerged in. Time has become difficult to perceive; it both flies and stays still. The concept of imaginary time comes to mind as an example. Imaginary time is a line perpendicular to the line of normal time, so from the perspective of those in normal time, the events transpiring in imaginary time seem to occur in an instant. I seem to be moving between these two lines somehow. Thirty five minutes have elapsed since I began writing this installment, the passing of which I have been completely unaware.
T - (ten minutes later): I want to go deeper; to completely embrace this alien yet indescribably loving entity. For that is what it is. This alteration is too personal, too perfect, and too reassuringly omniscient to be anything but. I realise this may be an incomprehensible concept, but it's the absolute truth. I will take a further 112.5 grams of the cacti, in the form of the puree, and see what I learn. This is like downloading a new operating system; all the old, disabling idiosyncrasies are lost, to be replaced with a faster, more fluid, and more logical version. But this radical, profound change occurs in my mind. Consequently, it is not something that can be described and visualised; but rather, experience and immersion are the only true routes to attaining understanding.
T - 03:25: I act upon my wish and ingest the further 112.5 grams of cacti. My mind has become so completely, unequivocally changed I am unsure who, what, where and why I am. I feel there is some issue that I've been refusing to address, staring in idle paralysis at its ugly tendrils creeping through my being, asphyxiating it, slowly rotting me from the inside out. I am promised this will change, that I will be shown how I am to rid myself of it. What exactly 'it' is remains to be revealed. Normally an alteration to my consciousness of this magnitude would cause untold terror, but for some reason, I seem able to relax into it without the slightest trepidation. It just feels so absolutely, ineffably right.
T - 03:35: I will leave the house to go for a walk soon, taking the laptop with me this time. It is my companion, my outlet for expression, allowing me to use my most beloved tool in all the world, words, to elucidate and clarify my revelation and wonder. The size of objects has become baffling. The table I am sitting at seems one moment to be enormous; the next 'normal'; and the next exceptionally small. The laptop appears to be breathing, moving upwards and downwards with soft, gentle motion. It feels fragile, like I may hurt it if I am not careful. Not in the sense of material damage, but rather as though a living creature. My body feels as though it is being massaged and soothed, removing aches and discomforts. Everything twists and breathes. The room is alive. I am fully capable of holding structured conversation, and in fact, seem more articulate and insightful than usual. What is more remarkable is that this interaction is separate from my consciousness: I was simply observing with interest while it happened. On a scientific note, my heart rate is accelerated slightly. I eat the remainder of my dinner, but find it unpleasant and rubbery. Somewhat like trying to eat while under the influence of methamphetamine.
T - 04:20: When I stare at a single spot for any length of time, my vision liquefies, everything I see is swaying and flowing and dissolving in vertiginous whirlpool. It took me five minutes to write that single sentence. Interfacing with reality is becoming very difficult. I am overwhelmed. Typing has become highly challenging. Keeping track of time is almost an impossibility.
T - 04:50: I feel as though I've been frozen; unable to respond as time simply passes me by. My body is dissolved and reassembled by waves of pleasure.
T - 05:00: 'Soon' finally arrived, and I take my leave of the house. I am unable to take the laptop however.
T – 07:30: After hours of aimless wandering, I arrive back in my room. During the intervening period, I smoked four cigarettes. Not because of a craving, but rather due to the fact that watching clouds of exhaled smoke was mesmerizing. However, the combined psychoactive effect resulted in an incoherent state of consciousness, which was not enlightening, but rather stupefying. By this time the effects of the mescaline are not noteworthy, and I am very fatigued. Time to sleep.
I have left this unedited, as I feel it is more representative in its original form. Happy tripping!
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