Citation: Govinda. "An MAOI Foray With an Elder Choir: An Experience with Syrian Rue (exp82836)". Erowid.org. Feb 22, 2011. erowid.org/exp/82836
Time: not precisely sure what time I began ingesting the seeds, probably about 10:30 pm, because it was 12:03 as I was loadedly stepping to the door to go outside and vomit.
I saw this great architectural structure, a large rectangular building jutting up maybe twenty stories out of the ground. It is gray but somewhat scintillating with red and purple in the pseudo-night of the mind in which I see this vision. It's sort of atop a hill and I feel like I'm seeing it between the pixels of my regular vision, as though every other or every third pixel from my regular vision has been removed and replaced by information from this other sense. Mostly what's striking is how vividly it's in my vision. This is deep into the trip. I'm almost surprised (not really, this is actually what I hoped would happen) I'm actually feeling like calling this a trip, since I only ate some Syrian Rue, seeds, but the psychic and spiritual qualities definitely qualified this experience with what I think of as 'trips' and I've definitely taken large, or at least ontologically significant doses of other entheogens (such as 5 g mushrooms or 5 hits lsd).
Even more vivid than the architectural vision was the sight of a sort of cove, like the large hill-like rocks that jut up out of the ocean just off the Pacific Northwest coast, lit up with this beautiful otherworly sublime golden light (i'm seeing it purely in the darkness of my mind) and the whole scene, ocean, rocks, is rotating at a moderate speed within my vision but with clarity and incredible consistency, so that I am able to obtain a detailed perspective on this rock formation as though I were controlling its movement with my subconscious whims. Again present was the sensation that I was seeing through a filtered-pixel kind of screen, half in my bedroom and half floating here above this beautiful pseudo sunset. I guess really comforting is what I have to say about that, just being able to truly see into another world for even a short time, even if that other world is in my imagination.
As I sat chewing pinch by pinch of these seeds and studying their deep, spicy bitterness with my tongue, towards the end of the first hour what I started to notice was threefold: a slightly slowed, mild and not unpleasant sedation, a palpably increased photosensitivity, which later grew to a nauseating intensity. The third thing I noticed was how far away from me my computer started to seem. That's when I knew for sure something was going on. Also, though I was not in the mood for this because of the nausea, if I had been able to get up and dance I believe the motion would have raised the intensity of the psychic experience significantly. That wasn't necessary though: this was a beautiful trip just so.
Eventually when I had eaten about as many of those seeds as I felt I could stomach (between 2 and 2.5 grams of the 3g bag I was holding), by which time I had practiced terrapin station on the guitar for about an hour, I headed outside with a mind to meditate my way to vomiting harmoniously before smoking some hash. What ended up happening was me meditating my way to smoking hash and then inducing myself to vomit.
I definitely think that with an MAOI like this we want to be taking doses that are large enough to make our bodies vomit on their own. I can make myself vomit, but my body just does such a more thorough job when it itself is truly feeling the full need.
When I was just getting up to don a coat, grab my pipe and put some shoes on, those simple activities I did hurriedly because the physical energy expenditure was definitely encouraging me to feel nauseous. The belly illness was very copable with when I stayed still, and really pretty overpowering as soon as I started to move much. I was loaded though: for sure kinda high and sedated and spaced out, actually feeling good and spiritual and contemplative at my core despite the mild illness. I was able to practice guitar and sing, and actually do those things well and I felt good while I was doing them.
Sitting outside before I vomited though, I was really stoned. I don't mean stoned on marijuana, though I did take a couple hits of hashish later, I was just so sedated that when I relaxed and meditated, I simply became motionless. My nervous system was just in a mood to comply with stillness. This was a profound-thoughts-and-emotional-healing kind of place for me.
Sitting there repeating my mantra in my mind I did have the experience of hearing, as though they were present, a sort of celestial choir ringing divine frequencies in my ears, like the elves from Tolkien would sound like to praise the moon and starlight maybe. It was like really nice angelic voices and the frequencies they were singing were complex music that evolved harmonically ever skyward, whereas popular music tends to go A to B to B, this just went to heaven, to heaven, to heaven...
Inside again after I had done the whole smoke some hash and then proceed to induce myself to vomit thing, the 'hallucinations' (read: visionary meditation) continued in these soft waves. I would experience a sick wrenching feeling alternating with peace, wellbeing and upliftment. Actually the upliftment part didn't fade even while I was nauseous and then making myself vomit, and after I vomited I felt much better.
I would recommend not eating the seeds of this syrian rue plant. the nausea is still significantly present in these ebbing flowing waves and it's almost 9 am the next day. Perhaps make yourself some kind of tea or powdered beverage so you have some liquid with it to throw up later. Even though I had just gotten really hydrated from the fresh cold well in town 30 minutes before starting to eat the seeds, I still think I would have evacuated more completely if I had used a beverage to dose instead of chewing up the seeds. This was, however an educational experiment for any self-reflective psychonaut, especially if you're into 'raw foods' : ).
I did eventually feel that my energy had ebbed enough for me to lie down and see where Dreaming would take me. The subtle fleshing out of my thoughts in barely-there vision continued behind my eyelids for what seemed like a couple hours. Eventually the surface magic had faded and I was left to contemplate my bellyache and what it might yield in terms of an afterglow. Neither my nervous system nor my digestive tract are the same man they were yesterday, but we'll just have to see what they've become.
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