Citation: Andrew. "Ego Death: An Experience with 2C-E & Methylone (exp80291)". Erowid.org. Jul 29, 2009. erowid.org/exp/80291
| T+ 0:20
Figured it was as good a day as any to explore the recesses of my mind with such an intoxicant. Iíve ingested one capsule of 2c-e at 1:10 in the afternoon in the amount of 24mg.
T+5m Iím currently in the process of dying my hair as well as about to start cleaning. On average when I take anything within the 2c family it takes a while to start having its effects. Normally about 1.5-2 hours. So I figure I have a good enough amount of time to get some cleaning and other such things done.
T+20m Iím almost done the dishes, decided to take 250mg of MDMC with the 2c-e. Have always been curious about how the combo would interact.
T+40m Hair dying is done. After the shower and everything Iím feeling a bit disassociated as well as I can sense my thought patterns changing in subtle ways. Feel a bit of pressure in my stomach. Iím going to finish the dishes.
T+1h All cleaning that I desired to get done is now done. Iím still feeling a bit of odd pressure in my stomach (I usually experience this with 2cís). My vision is starting to get a little ďout of focusĒ. At times itíll seem as though Iím not actually looking at an object but more so looking into it. My mood is still pretty much the same as it was before. Feeling a bit relaxed.
T+1:10h Iíve been listening to music the entire time since ingestion. Iím starting to enjoy it more as well as feel a bit light. MDMC is starting to take effect in a small way.
T+1:50h Iím feeling more energetic now and feel much more relaxed. These are definitely positive effects of the MDMC. Iíve been playing Portal (video game) for the last 40 minutes and shall continue playing now. I can notice my vision/mind seeing more/new textures that it hadnít before in everything. My though patterns are shifting to many different things. The effects of 2c-e are starting to be noticeable. I worry that writing what I think or experience in an hour or more may become too difficult.
T+1:55h My muscles all feel a bit tenser throughout my body. I often experience this with 2cís. The room around me feels and looks as though itís subtlety shifting and morphing but still retaining its image and form, kind of like liquid over an object. Noises seem a bit louder and more penetrating than they used to be. They seem more interesting. I find my mind being more curious about such things.
T+2h Iím experiencing the same effects as before except they are increasingly becoming stronger. The room and all the sounds around me are slowly moving and morphing at their will. Iím finding it a little more difficult to continue typing and forming rational sentences. I in my mind feel that everything Iím saying and typing comes out fluently and makes sense.
T+2:15h Iíve put some trance music on and itís having overly enjoyable effects on my mind as well as visuals. Iím seeing colours and patterns all over my apartment and I find my mind wondering into the music. Wondering where it came from, why it was made, who for, and so on. The room continues to dance around me in more than subtle ways now.
T+2:20h The effects have become much stronger. Iím going to go and lay down for a bit.
T+2:30h Iím experiencing intense and vibrant colours illuminating from every object. Iím seeing tracers of that type behind all of my bodyís movements. My muscles feel slightly stimulated to the sounds of the music around them. I feel that anything I focus my mind on thought wise can be explored at limitless depths. I feel that the music is having a very large influence on my surroundings and the way I perceive them. At times I feel it to be a bit too intense but I know that if I were to stop the music it would simply die down.
T+3:10h Iíve experienced ego death. Nothing matters, time does not matter, no space matters, nothing matters.
Itís now the next day and Iím returning to the computer to finish this report and try to best describe the rest of what I had seen and felt as well as thought.
After about 3 hours and 30 minutes I was no longer able to pay proper attention to my typing. I got stuck in a world that I believed was at its end. I felt that I was stuck in a point of time where all time intertwined, where all points in time met. I felt that life had become all one cosmic joke because I no longer existed in any stream of time and believed that I would no longer exist in any other point in time nor would I ever be able to advance out of the place that I had gotten. I believed that everything could be seen in its perfect form.
I would look outside of my balcony and see the sky as dark orange that would twist and flow up much like fire. I would hear sounds over and over again as if I truly were stuck in one point in time. Sirens, horns, bells, and whistles as well as muffled and distorted voices would flow into the apartment.
I found myself wandering from room to room trying to figure out if I was still actually alive or if I had somehow transcended into a new and final path in time, a place where I would stay forever. As I walked my body and mind felt as though traveling through each door way or moving in general was as if I were in an MC Esher painting, where nothing was in any way up or down. One room would feel like it was levels and levels below the last.
At one point I could look at my hands and simply see through them, see into them. I would see the veins and my blood flowing through them. They would darken and blister and bruise and I would believe that I was aging within my place in time. I would believe that the world around me was dying and regenerating within seconds of its self over and over again. As I looked around and walked I could see such things happen to everything around me within a radius of about 3 feet. I felt like I was simply my mind and everything around me was just a fabricated item put here to interact with it but I could now see if for all that it was, simply nothing at all. that my mind was deconstructing it and rebuilding it for me and that perhaps nothing really existed. I felt a true beauty about the human mind, such a fragile and amazing thing.
Many more thoughts had occurred during the duration of my experience. I feel that Iíve written most of the important ones however there are countless pages worth of things that I could add. The experience felt like an eternity.
I feel that someone with less experience or any type of lesser willpower could potentially harm themselves when in a state of total ego death, or a state where they believe the world is over for them or are unsure. At one point it did become too much for me and I did vomit near the end. I felt it become too intense in my head and my thoughts became tense. I screamed out in my mind but not vocally and at that point I vomited. About 2 hours later I was back to mostly normal with a strong feeling that my mind was exhausted. I wanted to go to bed early afterward and tried to sleep at 9pm. I found myself rolling around a lot restlessly and drifted in and out of sleep all night. I still feel a little exhausted today however I was able to manage with my daily routine.
I will repeat my usage of 2c-e over time however I will keep it as a very infrequent thing. This intoxicant is one of my all time favorites and I highly recommend it to anyone. Just be careful. Next time however, I will personally be taking less.
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