Citation: jimthesearcher. "Breaking Down the Barriers of My Psyche: An Experience with Mushrooms (exp77943)". Erowid.org. Feb 12, 2017. erowid.org/exp/77943
I bought 5 grams of fantastic looking mushrooms from a friend, this would be my 4th trip on mushrooms to date, and would be my first solo trip.
The weeks prior to my launch into a mushroom void I meditated daily and achieved success in shutting my thoughts off for half an hour or so. I also took a shamanic journey and attended a sweat lodge. All of these, I felt were necessary to prepare me for my journey.
I ate the sacrament around 8 at night in my bedroom and went out on my porch and smoked a small joint in my hammock. I usually don't smoke before my trip but I was a little too nervous to be doing this trip alone and needed to smoke that feeling away. I layed there in my hammock looking at the beautiful california sky for about 30 minutes. I then got too cold and headed inside, layed on my bed and began meditating with a lit candle in front of me on the other side of my room.
After another 20 minutes I sat up with a sudden rush of fear that overwhelmed me. The whole room illuminated with red green and yellow crystals hanging in mid air. I immediately leaped off my bed and stumbled to my window and took deep deep breaths and told myself everything was going to be okay and that I could handle this. I felt somewhat better after doing this and layed back down on my bed. My thoughts were racing. The most philosophical information about life was flowing through my brain and hovering over my head. I began to meditate to try to slow the thinking down and hold on to a thought and analyze it. Once I did this, I could literally see the thoughts floating above me and could pull one down and think about it or throw it out if it had a negative vibe about it. Absolutely amazing power that I believe meditating often, helped me achieve.
After probably an hour of lying there and just thinking about my life and situations and how grateful I should be to be alive, I decided to shut my mind off completely by focusing on my breath. I then relaxed every muscle in my body and took deep breaths. It was very easy to 'let go' and breath. As soon as I did this, I was catapulted into another realm. Literally, my room was unnoticeable. It had a dark green tint to it and it was almost fluid space, no objects were there. Then all of a sudden a being began hovering right above me about three feet from my body. It was black and had a bright white light projecting out of its chest. I wasnt scared when I saw this being. I remember smiling and saying thank you. I guess to the mushrooms for showing me this other level of reality. The being was just looking down on me. Not doing anything at all but hovering and watching. I could somehow sense that this being was not harmful and felt comforted that I was no longer alone in this experience. We traded glances for what seemed like an hour or two but was probably only a few minutes.
Then suddenly a voice in my head, which I presume to be the entity talking to me without physically talking in perceivable words. The voice said ok, you've seen too much, and from now on you cannot seek, you must be shown. Again this voice was comforting and with that, the being vanished and I was all of a sudden back in my bedroom. But it wasn't over, I was now seeing out of my mouth and my body didn't exist, it was just sight, breathing and thoughts. And they all seemed to come from one specific area around my mouth. I was no longer human, I was energy and knowledge and nothing else. I meditated like this for quite sometime. Then suddenly I got a phone call from my girlfriend. I remember thinking how strange it was that I had a phone. I thought as if all humans were dumb to be using cell phones when forms of communication didn't even need words where I had just been. It was strange being thrust back into my human reality, it was nice to have a break but I suddenly hated the fact that I was human stuck in a society that pushes information onto you and discourages free thinking and true spirituality. I felt as if my mind had been absolutely blown away.
This trip was incredibly powerful and changed my thought process forever. This was a year ago and I needed that long just to be able to sort out what all happened. That night changed my life forever. I view nothing in the same way as I did before this trip. I now meditate everyday, hike as often as possible to reconnect with nature, and spread the word of psychedelic discovery in my own life to anyone with an open mind willing to listen and see the real side of life that has been hidden from us by our society. I'm grateful for mushrooms and other psychedelics. At the time of this trip, I was a heroin addict but ever since that night I haven't touched the stuff. It has truly made me a better person. I appreciate life and everything I have now.
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