Citation: Dave. "Put Me Off Any Recreational Use of Any Drug: An Experience with Tramadol (exp73764)". Erowid.org. Jun 11, 2020. erowid.org/exp/73764
Iíve experimented with many legal and illegal drugs Ėmainly stimulants like MDMA- and so far things have been generally under control except for the occasional -somewhat less than ideal- experience, but I always kept looking for new things to try. I always thought that as long Iím extra careful and do my full research things will be ok. Reading about the substance and other peopleís experiences was part of the fun for me, but never again, as I realised how bad things can be when they go wrong. Unfortunately reading written words can never convey truly how bad things can feel and I always considered the bad experiences as something that might happen but hopefully wonít happen to me. I thought those people mustíve done something wrong like taking more than they should or in an unsuitable time or environment and always made sure I donít make their mistakes. Well the experience that put me off any future experiences involved no mistakes, it was supposed to be another good night I spend high on a substance, but unfortunately Ėor maybe fortunately for me- it wasnít.
Iíve known lots of people who take Tramadol for medical reasons and they all felt there is an interesting opiate high linked to it. I thought this will be an ideal drug combining the mood effects of Serotonin which I loved through trying MDMA in with the opioid effects that I know from various other drugs such as codeine. I managed to get tramadol relatively easily on the internet under the brand name Tramal and started experimenting with low doses increasing gradually while giving myself a few days in between to recover.
My initial trials were really good and I thought that will be my ideal drug, I can be sociable at the same time while high, can enjoy social contact and still able to think logically and sex on it was fantastic Ėonly on the come down as I found I canít get an erection while Iím very high. I progressed to a higher dose of 350mgs for the first time on a Friday and all was fine, so I decided to do it again on a Monday after 3 days of not taking anything. I knew that it might cause some depression after a few days of stopping which I felt on previous occasions but not this time and I thought it would be safe to take it Monday since I canít feel any bad effects from my Fridayís use.
I took 350mgs at 4 pm and was nicely high by 6. It was a good high Ėnot one of the best- but I enjoyed it as I expected and managed to go to sleep at around 2 am. Next day was fine although I remember I felt some mild confusion at times, then comes wednesday and hell breaks loose. I knew on my way to work that I am going to have a bad day with severe depression but nothing prepared me for this. The feelings were so overwhelming and I had to leave at the afternoon with bad stomach aches and diarrhoea. I never thought I could be in hell in such a short time but I was. Severe emotional instability and I can break into tears just for the slightest reason, and yes I was thinking of suicide all the time for the first time in my life ĖI have a generally happy stable life and never ever had suicidal thoughts. I continued with the stomach upsets until I emptied everything out from both ends. Knowing that all that was self inflicted for a stupid high made things so much worse and I have already ordered my next batch of tramadol online which was on its way. I begged for sleep at night but when that came eventually I had the worst most horrid nightmares one can even imagine. They were so vivid and real and I can unfortunately still remember every frightening detail with me being murdered in every possible way. I certainly didnít bargain for that and when I woke up at 4 am covered with sweat I never even dared to go back to sleep.
Its now Thursday afternoon and things are slightly better although Iím still frightened to have anything to eat. I flushed down the toilet all traces of any drug I had that could be used recreationally and promised myself never ever to put myself through this hell again. One time of such absolute misery is worth a lifetime of happiness and unfortunately the bad memories last much longer while I canít even remember half of the time I spent while I was high.
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