Citation: Roger. "Judged by the Primordial Energy: An Experience with LSD & Cannabis (exp72910)". Erowid.org. Aug 31, 2009. erowid.org/exp/72910
The events that follow were after I consumed 3 hits of unbelivably strong acid.
Yesterday I had the craziest trip of my life, it started by running through miles of woods with no idea where we were going, it didn't matter, we were free, sprinting through the woods like tribesman with no care in the world, the sun was peaking through the canopy and I was with two of my best friends one of whom was being introduced to the world of psychadelics. I felt like an animal, I didn't have to think where each step would go my mind would see an area of terrain and would instinctually make sure that I made the right step, I was galloping at full speed wisping in and out of the brush winding in and out of trees hurdling over logs nature was one with me and I was one with nature.
While we ran we were singing and yelling what sounded like tribal chants creating waves of vibrations that intertwined with the nature of the forest with the consciousness of all. There was positive archaic nature energy all around my 2 friends and I it was as if we had energy fields and we meshed with the forest, one of my favorite parts was climbing a 15 foot tree and overlooking the entire canopy and the ground watching the life emerge beneath the leaves it was as if everything was alive and thriving. My friends and I at one point hugged this gigantic near 100 foot tree for about 3 minutes meshing with the ancient energy of this tree.
As we were running and chanting with not a care in the world I was trying to explain my ideas of consciousness, the universal oneness of everything and the duality that exists in everything. It seemed as if my linguistic ability had evolved, everything flowed together with a rhythm, my mind was on point. Every word was connatated with a feeling and a visual, I was trying to describe to my friends the pure radiant light of empathy and love and inter-connectedness with everything. As I described it, it felt like the feeling was re-emerging into all three of us, the sea of infinite pure radiant energy was showing its true nature to us. I explained the duality in everything, night and day, sun and moon, up and down, left and right, awake and asleep, conscious and unconscious, life and death, the paridox of everything.
I told them to imagine the 5 chakras as a life force that flowed from the abdomen through the spine as an open flow of energy to the crown chakra and I explained the colors connated with the chakras and the feelings associated with those colors. I told them to imagine this life force flowing to the crown chakra and out of the body through the pineal gland into the sea of light, how I let go of individualistic, materialistic desire, to free myself of negativity, to focus on the pure light.
After about three hours of running through the forest we decided it was time to head back. We finally made our way out of the woods and through campus back to the apartment. When we were discussing the trip, the woods and life we felt like there was some sort of telepathy between us, we could finish each others sentances. We could read each others body langauges, there was no avoiding truth, a negative feeling was seen just as it was, there was no avoiding truth, truth was translucent for all to see. We turned on some loud surround sound music and just veged out feeling the vibration of the music consume us.
About an hour of hanging in the apartment 2 more people showed up as well as a dealer with more acid and the 2 new people consumed hits and the dealer talked to us about how he ate 20 hits and wouldn't think twice about eating an entire sheet. To me this was insane and there was a negative energy about him, he didn't seem to be observing the beauty of things or to be looking for introspective psycho-analysis he seemed to be escaping his life and he looked as if his brain was mangled. He had a dull facial expression and signs of sorrow in his eyes.
After the new people entered the apartment things started to go south for me, it seemed as one of the people who had entered the apartment had a very negative aura. Every time I was close to him its as if his aura was feeding on mine, my entire body would get hot and I felt as if something was ripping at me and trying to tear me apart. I was not the only one to feel this, my friend J also felt as I did, he looked at me multiple times and he didn't even have to say anything, he felt it to. The only thing on my mind at this point was to remove myself from the negative energy and to return back to nature.
I left the apartment and sat on the stoop to smoke a cigaret with J. Both he and I were mystified at how there was this very negative energy surrounding and consuming P. I have been friends with P for a long time but there was something about him that wasn't right. J had a great positive aura and our energies meshed to form an even better energy. I was starting to enjoy my trip again when P exited the apartment and came outside with us. Instantly this hot horrible energy was consuming me, my mouth was dry and I felt this overwhelming feel of dread the only thing on my mind was to get away from P. J and I would walk away from him and P would follow not understanding what the problem was and we didn't want to tell him because most people won't react very well if you tell them they have an extremely negative aura about them and we don't want to be near it. Especially when he just consumed 3 hits of acid so that he could trip with us.
After a while it seemed as if P gave up and returned back to the apartment to hangout with Z and the others. J and I were trying to decide what to do because we couldn't be with this negative energy, it was creating this awful feeling of dread and all I wanted to do was leave. We went inside to borrow someone's phone and as we enter I was instantly confronted with this wave of unbearably hot energy flowing throughout this dark apartment with surround sound death metal and P grotesqley chewing this brownie. He wasn't talking of positive he was seeing the negative in everything, gorging himself and being demeaning while listening to hardcore death metal. This honestly freaked me out beyond belief I have never been confronted with such a negative, hot, awful energy it was as if was pure evil and trying to wrap himself around me and deplete my positive energy. I was not going to let this happen I immidiately left the apartment.
J and I started to trip each other out with the negative energy and the only thing we could talk about was getting a ride out of here and going to his roomates birthday party, we ended up walking around the neighborhood and talking about the negative energy and positive vs. negative. This is when J also started to turn negative he wanted to return the house and his aura was repelling mine, this freaked me out to another degree, I asked him if he wanted to be good and he started to walk away from me. He started to head toward the negative energy in the apartment so I took off the other way. This is when I started to go apeshit.
I entered this unbelievable headtrip the only thing I wanted to do was bathe myself in the pure sea of light, to escape the constraints of the physical world. I wanted to have full dissolution of the ego. All I could think about was God and being closer to him, I wanted to join back with the universe and God and all the good entities of the cosmos. I started to sing in this loud archaic voice expressing my love for the omnipotent, praising the universe, crying out for the negative, I was consumed by this unbelivable powerful primordial energy that was exploding within me. At this time the blades of grass turned into millions, the frame of apartments shifted and intertwined, it was getting dark and reality seemed to be like a carnival. I saw this gigantic white light and knew that I had to go near it I had to enter into the light it was the only thing to do to escape the negativity all around me. As I got closer to the light I felt this strong urge to merge with it, to become one with it, to cease to exist to leave the physical realm. This is when my head slammed into the light post and I was knocked unconscious.
When I woke up there were cops and paramedics all around me, I felt as if I was watching my body. I thought this was it, I thought I was dead. There was 4 police officers and a few paramedics huddled around me asking me all these questions. I thought these were the gatekeepers. I thought that I was only able to see them now because I was dead. I thought they were here to either take me to hell or to take me to heaven (this isn't necessarily the catholic or any version of heaven or hell it was just the negative or the positive). They asked me all these questions and at this point my pupils had to be quarters, I was peaking off of 3 hits of very very strong acid and had been smoking hash and pot all night.
They thought I was drunk but I certainly wasn't drunk, they asked me if I had been smoking crystal or doing heroin or tripping or smoking crack, I eventually must of uttered the words that I was tripping on acid because they eventually found out. I kept asking if they were the good people, and at this point it gets a little fuzzy and I honestly think they thought the situation to be quite humorous and weren't doing anything to make me any more calm. They put handcuffs on me extremely tight and kept shining a light in my eyes and saying wierd stuff. I thought that the gatekeepers had decided that I was not good, that I was a bad person so they must take me to hell. At this point I started to struggle I tried to run away and I nearly succeeded as I was tripping balls and I'm in pretty good physical shape, the three male police officers ended up restraining me and throwing me in the back of the car.
The entire ride to the police station is extremely extremely fuzzy, the police officer didn't say a word the entire time and It didn't even click that I was being taken to jail. What my mind kept telling me is I was dead, and I was being sent to hell because the primordial energy force had decided I was bad. This freaked me the fuck out. I also didn't realize that in my pocket was about 20g of hash and a bowl, I wouldn't find this out till the next morning.
After pulling into the police station I was pretty much in and out of awareness. I remember them putting the jump suit on me and laying on the concrete ground. Eventually I was lead to a cell and they told me to walk in, I entered and then realized (in my mind) that this was a hell cell, I had to do anything I possibly could to get myself out of there. So before he shut the door I ran out, he put me back in the cell but I ran out again. I was not going to go willingly into this hell cell, there was no way. Eventually he managed to get the helldoor shut and I was locked in this concrete room with a not even foot by foot window on the cell door. There was dirt and sticky shit all over the metal bench and beds. And a metal toilet with brown dirt and rings all over it.
At this point I nearly went insane, as far as I knew I was in hell, locked away in this room forever, it was hot in the cell, there was constant running water that dripped as if it was chinese water torture. There were all kinds of people that I couldn't see (in my mind hell beings) that were coughing and weezing and banging on the doors and then I hurd blood curdling screams (I think this was auditory hallucinations from the barely audible TV that seemed to be somewhere off in the distance). So peaking in a nasty jail cell with water dripping and screams and pounding while believing I was in hell freaked me the fuck out.
The only thought in my mind was to call out to god and the universe and beg for mercy to plead with the life force to let me out. Everyone I had ever encountered in my life was visualized I tried to picture my interactions with them good and bad. I felt that I had lived a good life, always trying to think about others and to treat people with respect, I loved people, I loved my girlfriend I tried to do anything I could to help my Mom I just didn't understand why I had been sent to hell. I started to sing I love God, I am sorry for all the negative I have done, I want to be with you (this sounds a bit corny but think about what you would do if you were locked in a jail cell peaking on 3 hits of strong acid and thought that you were in hell and hallucinating people screaming) and I was singing it in the best most passionate primordial voice I could. I did this for hours (these people probably thought I lost my fucking marbles but they didn't understand what was going through my head).
At one point I stopped singing and started to look at this small mirror and my faced was completely flushed, hair was going in 9 diferent directions, pupils were quarters and my face was morphing into all kinds of evil things. This took me to another level, I thought this meant I truly was evil, that God was right, and that I deserved to be tortured and stuck here forever without food or water. I believed that if I drank out of the faucet that I would start to weeze like the other people (I think they were weezing because they were cigaret smokers for 20 years and smoked meth). One more thing I did to confirm that I was in hell was check the tag on my jumpsuit and it seemed as if the maker of the jumpsuit was a primordial joke. It said made by Bob Barker (I thought Bob Barker from price is right this was just done as a joke by the evil force) and underneath that it said tumble dry (I thought hell and dryness... obviously that was the washing directions but I didn't understand at the time).
Eventually I started to come down and was wondering if I was really in Hell or if it was just a jail cell, at this point recalling the gatekeeper encounter it was so funny. I wouldn't figure out everything till I talked to people who watched me get arrested and until I talked with the cops. Eventually I got a cop to talk to me for 15 minutes because I told her I was going insane, I thought god sent me to hell and I didn't understand what I had done. She told me I was in jail and I would be let out in about 12 hours. This instantly made me come down and I felt 300% better, I thanked her for giving me a minute and telling me what had happened and what was going on. She proceeded to tell me drugs ruin lives and she knows of people who did drugs one time and became addicted yada yada yada drugs are bad.
The rest of the night was uneventful and was spent pacing the cell and meditating on everything that had happened. The next morning I bailed myself out and was let out, I learned that I was charged with Drug paraphanalia, and disorderly conduct for trying to run away. What I thought was quite humorous is I wasn't charged for the hash and it was left in my pants pocket. I walked to McDonalds ordered some food and told the guy at the register what happened he offered to drive me back to my college and I payed him in hash for the ride. Craziest night of my life, will never ever do acid again.
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