Cacti - T. pachanoi
Citation: Bob Blong. "Hidden Truths, Mystical Channels: An Experience with Cacti - T. pachanoi (exp70747)". Erowid.org. Jan 10, 2009. erowid.org/exp/70747
At 13 years of age, I was destined to emigrate to London, England with my parents and so we did. While there, I quickly began using drugs and was very active in the Squat party scene during the next 5 years. Taking almost every drug you can think of on a regular basis with a tendency towards dissociatives and psychedelics. Later on, my drug use diminished to null as life had become more involved in the rat race. Mescaline has always eluded me and today at the age of 25, I got my hands on the cactus due to renewed interest and high availability of quality cactus online. I am best described as obesessive, excessive and tend to be somewhat out of control in nature. My several last mushroom and acid trips were bad trips, very very bad trips and this was quite a while ago. Due to excessive use I am extremely sensitive to small amounts of psychedelics and they can send me to another world on very small doses, but still I _HAD_ to try mescaline because of its history of shamanic use.
Monday morning I receive in the mail 120g of dried cactus, skinned, green material only. This made me very happy. Whenever I trip it's not simply a recreational act, it's for self discovery, inner exploration etc.
I ground it up in the coffee grinder and scratched my head as I taste a small amount of the powder because it is expectedly VILE and there is no way I can eat so much powder without puking immediately. Got myself some honey and mixed it with the powder (bad idea), it didn't taste any better at all and this was annoying. So now that I have sticky powder I have to consume it somehow. I wrapped it in rice paper (rizla) and made some small chunks out of it, and swallowed as much as I could as quickly as possible. What was left before the onset of pretty harsh nausea was what looked like 30g worth of powder mixed with honey. I was feeling pretty nasty, tummy didn't like it at all and on another attempt to eat more I spewed slightly but not a lot. Honestly I did not expect to trip very hard so I was just staying at home playing computer games.
T+40min: I feel a distinct psychedelic feeling and at which point I was pleased the trip is coming on but I was certainly not prepared for what was to follow.
T+2hr: I started to have a conversation with myself in my head about how a man can not live in the way I do (my house is a mess due to being single and working a lot). I jump out of my chair now definitely tripping, it was quite a hot day so I strip down to my underwear and the sensation of heat was accenuated 10x than what it should be. I start cleaning my place up in a frenzy with garbage bags n all still having the same conversation with myself about how can a man exist in this way etc etc.
T+2.5hr: Now I cannot continue cleaning up, I have to smoke a cigarette and can hardly stand on my feet, this is a lot stronger than expected, I wonder when will I be peaking. I lye down on my bed looking at sunlight shimmering through the window and tiny specks of dust floating in the light. Crap, this is a strong dose, I know what is coming. I put out my cigarette. I continue to have a conversation with myself, it is very gender oriented. It was something about what role men play in this world and how women are useful. There was more depth to it than that, it was like thoughts of ancient times and the gender in all things that exist but also the illusion of gender. I dunno.
T+3hr: Eyes closed, still on my bed, I regret having underestimated this cactus and its potency, I'm not in the right setting for this kind of event, I had a strong desire to be in the middle of the desert under the blazing sun or under the moonlight and experience what I'm experiencing. Auditory distortion was minimal and I could understand what is being said on the TV from the other room, this was comforting and I did not actually want to go to Mars in this setting and was genuinely afraid. Noises from neighbours and a tooting on the street made me paranoid, eyes still closed, occasionally being opened to see that the world still exists. Now some foolish paranoia that the cactus I got was dipped in LSD solution took over me, 'Someone is trying to fuck me up, they put a dangerous amount of acid in this.' Moments later a voice in my head reassured me it is completely natural substance and nobody in their right mind would ever do this to me. I relax, completely.
T+4hr: I am now quite relaxed, completely aware of where I am in the trip, the peak is not here yet and I opt to keep my eyes closed and see the wonders and marvels of mescaline. Tribesmen visit me; they are made of colourful fragments white, green and black, the splash fragments at me, they are performing a primal dance of existance. There is no sound, I can hear nothing now. These visions morph and become all sorts of things I can no longer recall. I remain in this state for an hour or so, the visions were very hardcore and had some but not much resemblance to LSD, my body was loose but somewhat rubbery, I was sweating.
T+5hr: I decide to get up and move over to the sofa and watch TV and smoke cigarettes, this was difficult as it seemed to take forever. As I sit down my eyes close and visions emerge with the background sound of the TV, audio was now being slowed slightly but not in a scary way, it was pleasant. In my visions I see a a colourful featureless man holding together the tectonic plates of planet Earth. His soul whispers 'Go inside the man, visit inwards.' This was very very profound and I am now peaking, this was a primal and somewhat frightening experience, I was not ready for it and I was resisting it. The man was spinning around slowly while he holds the continents of the earth together. Thoughts of existance as an illusion and thoughts of gender bombarded me. I spent quite a while in this state, intermittently watching a little TV and falling into a very deep trance state where the world slows to a standstill or moves very fast.
T+7hr: I am full of fear now, I didn't want this experience here, I wanted what I expected. I want out, please end it, is it ever going away? I don't know, I hope so. I sat frozen on the sofa for many hours trying to figure out if it is coming down or not while in the back of my head I know that the visuals are diminishing. I get hungry and eat something. I'm still tripping and in recovery mode. Didn't feel like cleaning up anymore ..lol.. I remained awake for approximately 18 hours before feeling sleepy.
This was a very profound experience and it was a huge mistake to do it at home where I felt trapped and paranoid. I will definitely do it again and next time will be by boiling the powder or fresh cactus and drinking the juice. Just so you understand, I have taken lots of psychedelics and have many times ended up deeper than I wanted, this happened again this time but I CAN handle the depth of this mescaline dose, but not in the environment in which this happened. I have a strong urge to revisit mescaline as I know I showed much resistance and didn't allow myself to 'Go inside the man' as I wanted, but it will have to be in the middle of nowhere, all on my own by a small fire and a tent.
Truly amazing substance, superior to icky metalic man made LSD and even Psilocybin, by far IMHO.
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