Paranoia = Learning Experience
Citation:   Nikol. "Paranoia = Learning Experience: An Experience with 5-MeO-DiPT (exp70031)". Jul 24, 2008.

1 tablet oral 5-MeO-DiPT
  1 repeated smoked Cannabis
[This is my second experience with 5-MeO-DiPT. The first was mixed with MDMA, a substance that I knew I could handle even under unexpected circumstances. That is what led me to want to test Foxy on its own, in order to better establish what it is like.]

The pills that my boyfriend, our friend E, and myself were to be taking had recently come into town under the guise of “ecstasy” (this was how my boyfriend and I ran into them the first time. E had never taken it before). It is estimated that they contained ~>10 mg of 5-MeO-DiPT. E’s was blue, my boyfriend’s was grey/grayish-purple, and mine was a mixture of the two colors, like an improper dye job. (This is why I am of the belief that all of these pills are being made by the same group(s) of people.)

E had originally not been included in the plans to trip, however a few hours before, when he called my boyfriend, I said that it was his call as to whether or not to include him. E came over.

We swallowed them whole, on empty stomachs, at 5:30. As I was taking mine I let it rest on my tongue for about 10 seconds, turning it over and seeing what I could taste and feel. There wasn’t too much of a discernible taste; cardboard has been the best description so far. The pill felt dry and slightly powdery, despite the slick-seeming coating on the outside. It stuck to the tongue, very slightly, in the way a dry thing will in an attempt to soak up moisture. We settled down to smoke pot and watch TV until they started kicking in. I was lying on the floor, listening more than watching; at the 15 minute mark I suddenly noticed a heaviness, and realized that my mouth felt funny. When I sat up to look at screen, I knew that I had most definitely started to come up, and pretty strongly. My companions did not seem to be reacting yet, however, so I continued to lie down and watched as faint visuals started to pepper my vision.

During the show rest of the show, they started to comment on how their vision was getting a bit funny- they couldn’t tell what was actually animated and what was a change in vision. By the show’s end they noticed a definite come-up, and I was already reacting. At some point I unknowingly rested my finger on the corner of a book; the mental image that filled my head at the sensation was of a black thumb, rubbery and amorphous, being depressed deeply by a yellow triangle. It wasn’t painful, just startling, until I realized what I had done.

We continued to sit for a few, listening to music and smoking more pot, reasoning, thinking out loud, and just talking about different things that we expected or assumed would happen as we were tripping. After a few the talk petered off as we lapsed into a quasi-silence; however, someone stood up, and immediately we followed. Moving for the first time allowed me to feel out the stimulant aspect- it felt good, just a little weird. I could feel the seemingly limitless and harnessable energy similar to amphetamines, yet it was thrown slightly off-kilter because of the slight drunken feeling that was settling around my wrists, thighs, and ankles. My jaw was noticeably tight by then (however I did not clench- I try to have a lot of will-power not to. But the tightening was very strong and it took a bit of effort).

We decided to go for the walk- even though the day was cool it was the first decent day we’ve had in awhile. All of us wanted to move our legs and shakes some of the excess energy. We decided to walk to a park about a mile away, to commune with nature and smoke where no one could see us. As we were walking out of the apartment complex, I noticed that I was actually feeling cold despite not being bothered by the weather. I felt cold close to the skin, where it was touching my sweatshirt- my skin was very sensitive. My boyfriend and E noticed the same thing. As we passed a flower garden E stopped for a moment and gazed intensely, then just laughed a small bit and continued walking with us.

As we got out into the neighborhood I was feeling a definite change in my perception- the whole time I was thinking about how lovely and wonderful everything was, how great psychedelics are, how easy and lovely it was to control a trip like this because I don’t really have to worry about getting “lost” or freaking out (most definitely not at the amounts we had taken). I was having stunning visuals of mosaics in the Aztec theme manifesting on the road below me, stretching out into grand pictures larger than the trees. At one point I believe I started to comment on it, but then realized that it would just be too much to explain for the moment. I laughed it off, and the other two just took it in stride. It was overall a good mood, but we were very self-contained.

As we reached a main street our conversation turned to how odd it felt to be out in the daytime, in a fairly busy section of town, walking around in a different headspace like this. It was fun and liberating, but all sequestered ourselves against everyone else for not being like us. As we crossed out of the main street into another neighborhood we started to notice the sound of drums. My boyfriend theorized that it was coming from someone’s garage; as we reached the park we realized it was coming from a drum set set-up under a tree. E was walking ahead of us, heading towards a girl that was running towards the three of us. My companions knew her, I did not; I started to get uneasy at the thought of having to communicate with people outside the bubble.

My fears were unfounded as we headed up the hill, away from the people, towards the wooded area. The drums continued, and our conversations became happy and light once again as we all feel deeply in touch with the beat. The sound and vibration, coupled with our walking up the hill, lent to a sense of grandness and “epicness” as we made a “glorious ascent”. We were feeling quite silly and carefree. As we reached the top and it leveled off, however, the drums stopped and we laughed at how anti-climactic it had been. We wandered over to some rocks and sat to watch people and dogs milling about. I felt remarkably conspicuous, being out in an open place during the day, but except for the natural curiosity that makes one glance over at a person who happens to be close by, no one paid any attention to us at all.

I got lost in the wonderfully active visuals and had a moment in which I suddenly felt like I understood modern art while staring at a rock face. No one else seemed to have visuals as active as mine, however, something I kept trying to confirm, reconfirm, and explain all night long.

One thing that we had not tried to figure out before we left was how long we were planning on being gone, or how we were going to get back. Before we even realized that we had forgotten to think about that, we got a phone call from my friend P. He wanted to hang out, so of course we immediately latched on to him as a ride back to our place. Despite our condition and the fact that I didn’t quite know where we were, I gave him directions as to where to find us, no problem. Our unrealized conundrum solved, we decided to move further down into the wooded part of the park. From there, we sat around and talked for an indeterminate amount of time. E enjoyed focusing in on the sound of running water in a creek below us and seeing how he could manipulate the “fog” in his vision. My boyfriend and I sat on the edge of a rock face and watched down into the creek. We completely lost track of time, and even of the fact that we were waiting for someone.

After awhile, we suddenly remembered that someone was coming to get us, so we ventured back up the hill to a more accessible part of the park. From there, we had one view of the road about 2 or 3 blocks down- as I glanced over in that direction, I suddenly saw a bright blue car drive past. Even though I had not seen P’s new car and had only heard about it once, I knew it was him. I called him to confirm it, and, lo and behold, was right. He picked us up, and we went back home. The sensation of being in a car was very enjoyable (and would be explored later in the night).

We returned to the apartment; P and I went inside while E and my boyfriend went to his car momentarily, to listen to music and try to decide what to do next.

Once they were back inside, O (E’s girlfriend) came over. This is where things started to get negative for a bit. O was not participating in any of our indulgences, including the marijuana. P was the same way. My boyfriend and E wanted to enjoy the trip, and they really wanted to play around with the auditory aspects. E wanted to bring my speakers into the living room (since we couldn’t get my boyfriend’s to work) and my boyfriend agreed; however this irritated me because 1) there were people over who were not tripping who would not enjoy or care about what we were doing, and 2) it would have been a pain in the butt to set them up, and then to get them back into place when we were done. Because of these reasons (the only one I was even slightly capable of articulating at the time was number two), E and my boyfriend went into the other room, to the speakers. This is when things went downhill (only temporarily, though).

Being in the living room with two non-tripping people was a huge test of my patience and my hospitality, especially given that the other two were free to trip out in the other room. I felt obligated to stay in the living room with O and P, as they were guests in our apartment. I didn’t feel like talking though, and lacking any ability or desire to communicate, I turned on the DVD we had been watching earlier. I loaded a bowl of marijuana for myself, and proceeded to try to make small talk with the other two. When that started to fail, I apologized for my inability to be sociable and lapsed into rumination. All the while really negative thoughts had started running through my head. I felt as if E was stealing the trip from me, and that both of them were being inconsiderate to me (by leaving me in the living room to be the hostess while tripping just as hard as they were). At one point E came back out to ask O if she would run back to his apartment and get a CD case for him; she immediately said “no”, under the pretense that if he was capable of walking to a park over a mile away, then he was capable of going 100 yards to his apartment. O and I, immediately before E rejoined the living room, had just finished commenting that E likes to be the center of attention when he is messed up- and she didn’t feel like it was her duty to take care of him if he was going to be grown up enough to act like that. This is what set the mood for the negative mood space that was about to take over my bubble.

The paranoid, black mood had pretty much taken over everything at that point, and since I had no fear of getting “lost” in a negative place while tripping, I just sulked. E had left by then, so I attempted (badly- very badly) to communicate my irritation to my boyfriend. All I really said, however, was “tell me when you’re ready to trip with me again” before retreating back to the living room to smoke and sulk some more. He followed me back to the living room after a moment, and I resisted attempts to discuss the situation. We finally moved to the bedroom to talk over what was going on.

I was in a terrible mood by then, and we got into a literal fight. I felt justified in my irritation, but the way that I was handling the situation was terrible. However, I couldn’t explain why I felt like my irritation was justified- all I could do was fling insults and basically act like a bitch, trying to bully my boyfriend into seeing things my way, without explaining anything. The breaking point was when I commented that “just because you’re tripping isn’t an excuse for anything”, and he promptly corrected me. It was true- he hadn’t tried to make an excuse for anything, and I was merely taking out my frustrations about how I perceived E’s actions, on him. Since I had told him at the very beginning that it was his call as to whether or not to invite E, I felt like my boyfriend had to take the fire for how I perceived his actions.

From there, things became much better. Having resolved the issues, and having realized that the biggest problem was this inexplicable negative mood space that I had landed in and how inappropriately I was handling everything, I was once again free to enjoy the night. P left shortly afterwards, which also eased up the situation (O is used to being around us in these conditions, so her presence had caused less initial tension in my mind). E returned (we found out that he had not gone to his apartment, but had instead been sitting in his car listening to music very loudly). After some discussion, the three of us decided that we wanted to drive around as we all agreed that the earlier sensation of being in a car was very enjoyable.

We had no direction and no idea as to one. All we did was wander around, listening to music, smoking our last bowl. [Erowid Note: Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. Don't do it!] We were all most definitely past the peak (I do have to say that a huge regret of mine was spending the peak in such a bad mood). We knew that we needed more marijuana, and I decided to make a phone call. I had no idea what time it was, and when my friend didn’t answer I assumed it was too late- I thought it was midnight or something. I hadn’t thought about time all night long, so I was very surprised when I realized it was only 9:45. We decided to stop at a convenience store for nourishment- we were quite hungry. I normally have no desire for food at all unless it’s just a nibble or two, but I was extraordinarily hungry- I plowed through my food and beverage in about 2 minutes. After that, however, I had no desire to eat again for the rest of the night.

From here we returned, and that was about the end of night. E returned to his house, and my boyfriend and I stayed up for awhile longer. Given the disagreements earlier I had not expected to experience any of the aphrodisiac qualities for which foxy is known; at the very least I figured that should I start to have any feelings it would not be appropriate to act on them. That was not an issue, and once again I experienced why it’s such a great aphrodisiac. At some point more marijuana arrived. Time flew, and suddenly it was around 2 a.m. We were both still rather stimulated (more mental than physical, however- I was quite content to sit on the computer and do five things at once). One 25 mg. diphenhydramine and some more smoke took care of that, and I was out in about thirty minutes.

The next morning I had a hard time waking up, however this was due entirely to the diphenhydramine (any time I take it before bed I am impossible to wake up). I didn’t notice too many residual physical effects other than some slight stomach gurgling. My boyfriend woke up and went to work with no problems.

I can definitely say this was a learning experience, despite any type of “breakthrough”. I realized how susceptible the mind is to its own suggestion- as soon as I “thought” there was a problem, one manifested. I am very used to tripping- and this is the closest I have ever come to having a bad trip. I have heard reports of people being unhappy and paranoid while on this; however, I had always assumed it was because of people taking foxy when it was unexpected, or of taking a large amount and dealing with unpleasant physical effects. Despite starting the trip with the best of intentions, in the greatest mood, I found myself in a very unhappy place in my mind- and my actions followed suit, simply because I didn’t realize that I was acting inappropriately. I learned how easy it is become lost in the darker parts without even realizing that I had gone there.

Exp Year: 2008ExpID: 70031
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jul 24, 2008Views: 8,490
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5-MeO-DiPT (57) : Relationships (44), Difficult Experiences (5), Small Group (2-9) (17)

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