Citation: Angelika. "The Chemist Shop Trip: An Experience with Belladonna (tincture) (exp69719)". Erowid.org. Apr 19, 2008. erowid.org/exp/69719
I was 15 years old when I tried Belladonna for the first time, and last until now, although when I did it, I was not exactly sure of what I was doing.
I was in my mother’s chemist shop, where I was working for the summer. It was at 2:30 in the afternoon when she went to have a lunch break and left me alone at the chemist shop. I knew she would return at 5:30 approximately. Generally, my mother trusted me, and of course, did not know that every time she left I would spend my time experimenting with explosive substances (e.g. Natrium in water) in the back yard, and gladly watch which would make the biggest bang. I would also try out essential oils and perfumes on my skin, and once, had found and eaten a lexotanil (codeine) pill.
So, there I was, once again, opening strange bottles of various substances and experimenting of their use, all of it seemed extremely amazing to my teenage eyes.
Suddenly, in a back-back self I had never noticed before, I found three bottles. One of it was labelled “Belladonna tincture”, another “Ibogaine”, and the last one “Neroli essential oil”. Not having a clue about what might be the first two, I judged (brightly!) from the third, that they must be some sort of perfume. Some information about belladonna had also dropped to my attention, e.g that the witches would use it for some sort of flying, and that the roman ladies would put it in their eyes, to make them shine.
So, I opened the bottle, which was never opened before, and smelled it a bit. The smell was beautiful, intoxicating, and rich. I decided there was nothing wrong with applying some tincture on my skin. So I did. I applied A LOT on my arms and neck. It was at about 3 o’clock then. At about half an hour later, I started feeling tired and dizzy, although, as I hadn’t slept at all the previous night, I accused that for my condition. In that state of mind, I wondered how would belladonna taste. I thought everything was ok as long as I did not apply belladonna in my eyes…Boy, was I smart! So, I put some on my hand and licked it from it. It had the strong taste of alcohol every tincture has, plus a bad, really bad, taste. I drank some water to make the taste go away. A bit later I felt cold, (it was 30oC outside, but I thought at the time being cold was normal!) so I put on my jacket and went to the couch to get some sleep.
From that point and then, I totally lost count of the sense of time. To my mind, one second later, I decided I wasn’t feeling sleepy at all, and woke up. I was absolutely certain, CERTAIN that I had woken up and walked around the room. The room was filled with strange colours, that even now, I have problem to describe them exactly. For some reason I saw absolutely no problem with it. I continued walking towards the front room of the chemist shop, were the sales are made from; until now I was in the back room, where we keep the medicine and stock, when I suddenly realized that the ceiling was coming towards me. I took a better look and understood that my feet weren’t on the ground, and that it was me that was flying towards the ceiling. I was extremely scared, thinking I would bang my head on it. Carefully, I “walked” to the front room and to my biggest surprise of all, I saw my mother in work, having returned from the lunch break, selling medicine to some blur entities, I couldn’t make out what they were. I was shocked as I was afraid of what on earth she was supposed to think seeing my flying above of her head.
Of course, she did not see me. I took a look at the front clock, and saw the hour. It was half past seven in the afternoon. Being sure that from lying on the couch till the time being, only two or three minutes could have passed, I ACTUALLY came to realization of the fact that there was something terribly wrong with me. Having not such previous hallucinogenic experiences, I could understand nothing of my condition. I was certain everything was real, that I was not dreaming, or dead. From the point I saw the hour and then, I remember the shock (such as a shock from a fall) to returning into my physical body, feeling nothing but THIRSTY.
I opened the tab and drank lots and lots of water. My skin was itching. I took off my jacket and my arms and neck was all red, maybe also from the alcohol or other substances in tincture that irritate the skin, I know not if I can plainly accuse belladonna of that. I washed off the smell with tones of water. To my surprise, when I saw my watch, the hour was indeed a bit past of half past seven. I felt petrified knowing that my mother would be here already and I was curious as of why she did not know anything of my condition. Later, she indeed came in and told me that she saw me sleeping before and did not want to wake me up. Quickly I hid the three bottles, and when she saw the water all over me and the red arms and neck, I made up an excuse of having touched accidentally a plant in the garden, that is very similar with one I am allergic to. She felt pity for me and sent me home with my dad and some anti-histamine medicine.
The three days that followed I cannot remember a lot besides that I was unwell (but manageably) and that my vision was blur. I stayed at bed with the allergy excuse. After at about a week I was ok, suffering from no side effects, and having tons of question-marks inside my head as of what was it all about. I was fascinated by the reality I had witnessed and eager to do it again sometime, until I made some research for the plant on the internet and found out how toxic it is, and how lucky I was I only had the symptoms above. I also was extremely lucky that my parents did not understand, and that no one had any “helpful” ideas about taking me to the hospital. Some months later, I also asked my mother, telling her I randomly discovered belladonna and ibogaine at the shop and asked her what were those. She told me that when she opened the pharmacy it was obligatory for all the pharmacists to have them, and she was uncertain concerning their use. For belladonna she stated it was a kind of andidote to mushroom poisoning, and for ibogaine, that it was some kind of “medicine for tropical diseases.”
Well, this was my experience. I certainly learned a lot from it, and if I could go back in time, I wouldn’t change having had it. But I was much more responsible in the future with any substance I experimented with. I would be afraid to repeat the experience, after all I know for belladonna now. I was lucky once, but I will not be always.
As about my mother, I know not anything of her relationship with the substances. I truly, truly tried to find out about it for a lot of years and from a lot of sources, but I did not come to any safe conclusion. When, after I had asked, checked for the bottles in the back self, they were, of course, gone. Along with the neroli essential oil, if of course this was actually the content of the bottle. It seems that mothers do indeed protect their secrets.
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