Citation: Max A. "A Fear of the Greatest Pleasure: An Experience with Mushrooms & Cannabis (exp67623)". Erowid.org. Apr 6, 2012. erowid.org/exp/67623
Well this all began around the time of November when my curiosity for magical mushrooms reached its peak. Iíve always been interested in trying them but I never got the chance. Iíve been smoking weed for 3 years now and Iíve tried ecstasy but I was ready for something new. I had huge craving to hallucinate and shrooms were the best solution.
I was relaxing at home when I got a call from my close friend dealer about the nice deal he got for shrooms. I was very excited to hear this and pounced on the opportunity to get me some. Immediately the same day I bought 10grams of these magical mushrooms. I couldnít have eaten them that same day because of my work schedules which lead me to postpone this trip to next weekend. During the week, my buddy asked me if he would be able to buy about 2.5grams for himself to trip for his first time. I didnít hesitate and sold it to him knowing that it be a great opportunity to see what effects he gets before I try it for myself in couple days. The report I got from my friend was terrifying. He defiantly had a bad trip with what he described. Noting some effects he experienced as mental torture, the extreme confusion and feeling of lost put second thoughts about trying these shrooms. After this trip my friend experienced, the guy who was even more excited about shrooms then I ever was, told me that he is never doing any hallucinogen ever again. I knew he had a life changing experienced and this frightened me but I knew there is not much else I can do but try them myself.
Anyways the day came and it was nothing different than a regular day other then the fact that near the end of it id be trying my first ever hallucinogen. I tried not to think of it as much because if I would, all Iíd think about is what my buddy described it as. It was about 6pm when I got over to my other friends house who I will refer to as S. We divided the left over shrooms equally which came up to 3.2g each. Time came to 8pm and we left his house for our adventure to begin.
We did not want to consume the shrooms immediately for the fact that we did have a gram of weed to smoke before our real trip was to begin. We got to a small forest and smoked up our weed. We then happily walked for nearly an hour until we got to a lake. The lake was frozen and we made sure of that by standing on it. We knew this was the time to eat them.
We ate them around 11pm-12am and sat patiently waiting for the effects to begin. S had tried shrooms before this experience so he knew what to expect and what it would feel like when it hits him while I was completely clueless. About 20 minutes in I could start seeing noticeable differences in Sís behaviour. Non-stop talking, random laugher and lots of smiling were basically what was giving it away. About 40 minutes in my effects began appearing. I began smiling and laughing to some Ďthingí that was not there. I wasnít hallucinating but the laughter was being triggered somehow.
I kept sitting and letting it wear on even more. My mind was beginning to race. I began thinking of multiple things at the same time. At this time some visuals began kicking in. I out focused from looking at the lake and began seeing it turn. The lake did not turn fully but just twisted a bit and went back to normal to repeat the twist. I would look at S and see him enjoying himself just like I was which made me feel a state of security. As time slowly passed I began getting weird unexplainable movement patterns and random outbursts of laugher or sound. I liked that feeling because it made me feel that I am not controlling my trip anymore which was exactly what I wanted to happen.
As I entered the peak the thoughts that were coming to my mind were not of a regular human being. Not only were they something even geniuses could not interpret but they were coming at a speed that was unexplainable. At this moment I began mumbling because my mind could not contain everything inside. I mumbled about everything that my mind was coming up with but the speed was so delayed that by the time I mumbled a thought 3 or 4 other thoughts already passed through my mind. My mumbles consisted of only about 2-5 words that to a normal sober being would mean absolutely nothing but to mean it made all the sense. I recall thinking of time as reality, the reality that controls the world and this is how we know something is real, by time affecting it, but the words that came out of my mouth were ďtime..is..reality..of the worldĒ. I glanced over at S and saw that he also was mumbling so I began to listen. I was confused from what he was saying but with my mind racing it created new thoughts from what I interpret Sís mumbles as.
More visuals kicked in at this point. I began noticing what a lot of people describe as melting but in a different state. I remember looking at the ice and seeing it turn into water. Waves of water that were slowly making their way towards me. It was a pleasant view but I knew this was a hallucination. Shortly after I began thinking that Iím seeing people walking by. The branches of trees moved in my peripheral vision in some sort of manner as if someone is walking and I'd glace over immediately just to find out that no one is there. Many of these thoughts and visions brought confusion to my mind but in no way was it taking away from the experience. Every so often me and S would take out a flashlight to check up on our pupils to see when they are dilated to an extreme which did not take very long. I remember getting different periods of temperature which would change from a comfortable warm to a freezing cold even though the actual temperature never changed.
The reason Iím not stating the time when everything was happening is due to the extreme time distortion I experienced. I had no idea how long passed in between something I did really 5 minutes ago and something I did 2 hours ago. I didnít have any other wants but to just sit and let my mind race. I did not think of doing any activities such as eating or going somewhere. The only movements I would have would be getting up and walking several steps and then just standing there and mumbling. S pointed out many times that all were doing is just mumbling but that had no effect on any of us because in a certain way all it was, was just another intelligent thought that had been turned into a mumble. I did not know if I was mumbling to myself or for someone else to hear but that didnít matter. I remember walking off and still continuing to mumble even though I knew no one could hear me. In many ways it was just another way to make me understand the creative thoughts that filled my mind.
At some point into my trip I began hallucinating with sound, especially my own voice. I would mumble and hear my voice fully distort to almost a complete silence and then fade back in very instantly. I also recall it changing from very deep sound to almost a high pitch. My voice echoed and it seemed as if the important words echoed in my brain for the longest.
It was a never ending spider web of ideas flowing to the mind. From every idea it would flow to something else and would never stop. Staying on a certain topic of thought was almost as impossible as to fly. Even trying to attempt it felt foolish because thinking of it triggered 100 other things to come to mind. These vigorous thoughts brought confusion but all confusion brought was just more thoughts which made it amazing. Me and S would sometimes ask our selves out loud if we are enjoying the state we are in and the question was almost rhetorical as we both knew this was one of the greatest feelings.
What felt like little over 30 minutes really turned out to be 3 hours and this was when we decided to go back to Sís house. The decision was hard to make because we couldnít understand if this is what we really want and if it is why do we want it? With all my creative and genius thought I could not come up with an answer but I knew it was the right thing to do. I had no idea how we got to this lake because all my previous memories from that day had all been erased while I was tripping. Even S was some what confused on how we get back. We finally found the right way and began walking back home. It was a nice walk because I would recall moments of what happened on the way there as if they happened 20 years ago. I was shocked to see the bridges that I walked under because it felt like I remembered something I havenít seen for years when really I walked by it 3 hours ago.
We finally got back to Sís house and I knew the trip was coming to an end. This in no way made me happy and actually brought saddened thoughts to mind. I remember looking in the mirror recently after these saddened thoughts began and I watched as my face distorted viciously. I wasnít scared or angry, I was just sad. Me and S went to the basement which was completely empty and just lay on the ground living out our last moments on this incredible substance. The mind trips and theories were still there but nowhere to as extreme as I felt them before. I remember saying ďIím physically tired from these mental thoughtsĒ which was something both me and S could really relate to which is why it stuck in my head.
I remember checking my watch and the time read 4:30am. We were too tired to get up from the floor but we also knew that we could not just pass out in the middle of the basement. We finally got up and went upstairs to where our beds were. We lastly exchanged our thoughts on the trip and both agreed that it was one of the best nights of our lives.
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