Citation: Yogi Bear. "No I Know How Huxley Felt: An Experience with San Pedro Cactus (exp63636)". Erowid.org. Sep 14, 2008. erowid.org/exp/63636
It all began on a Sunday in early June 2007. I awoke with a feeling that it would be a day that would change my outlook and that my life would never be quite the same again. This was to be my first experience with the drug known as Mescaline. Although I kept the dosage relatively low, it must be said that I was not expecting such a powerful spiritual experience. I had read pretty much all that there is to read on the subject, but was still unsure about exactly how it would effect me.
I ingested tea made from 8 inches of fresh cacti that was acidified with lemon juice and within 90 mins experienced changes to my thought patterns and an overall increase in my well being. I consumed several cups of lemon & ginger tea w/honey throughout the experience and suffered no nausea or stomach irritation. The feeling the cactus tea gave me for the first three hours was one of stimulation and joyfullness. At around the 3 hour mark, the stimulation gave birth to a profound blissful euphoria with the world around me transformed into another place entirely. Everything looked familiar to me and was akin to a childhood perception of world that was brand new, being seen for the first time.
I spent the day in nature full of empathy, simply admiring the beauty of creation and wondered how on earth we let ourselves destroy such perfection. At one point, near the beginning of the trip, I was walking along a trail in a local park and had a very powerful healing experience. As the drug took greater and greater hold, I began to be filled with a great, overwhelming fear that filled every cell of my being. At one point, the fear was all consuming and I could do nothing to hold it back. It seemed to be a deep-seated feeling that I had held onto for a long time and knew very well and I was now staring it full in the face. The Mescaline was presenting me with this feeling I owned and not letting me go until I just sat down and accepted it. This experience lasted some 30 minutes or so and although was most unpleasant, has left me with a far greater understanding of how I am put together. I now fell as though I have grown as a person as a result of this experience.
Some time was spent exploring woods and vast meadows, some time was spent marveling the detail of the roots and bark of trees. There was one moment however, where I truly understood how Aldous Huxley must have felt when he saw that infamous rose. The meadow that I was sat in was full of wild flowers, unusual grasses and life of all kinds and found my attention turned to a single yellow buttercup and was captivated by this single flower amongst so many others. A moment later my awareness shifted so completley, that all of physical reality was tuned out completely and I was aware of nothing but myself and the buttercup in a glowing space of golden and white light. There was a sense of complete and total bliss and at that moment I knew that I was truly one with the universe. There was no time there, no past, no future, just the buttercup and myself in this golden glow of eternity - the great being of ultimate reality. An amount of time passed whilst I was in this state, I am not sure how much. On coming back to physical reality, I was aware of a complete peace of living and existing, that just writing about it brings a tear to my eye. I looked around that meadow again and understood the purpose of life and that we must express this oneness in all that we do. For it is this that brings us true happiness.
It was about 4 and a half hours after ingestion now and the Mescaline was very much in full effect. The world around me looked the way it did when I was a child. Houses looked like the Gingerbread Cottage in the book Hansel & Gretel. I decided that I should head back towards my house as I was somewhat overwhelmed and felt a tad vulnerable in my state of mind. I got lost a couple of times in the nature reserve that I was in and had to ask a couple of times for directions. Talking to people was quite tense as I struggled not to be to distracted when talking to them. I did my best to act normal and managed to pull it off quite well. Although someway accross the middle of a trail that I was on, I saw 2 joggers coming towards me - a man and a woman. The trail was about 12 feet wide and there was plenty of space for us all to pass quite comfortably. However, I had stopped and stood to the right of the trail so that they could pass without any obstruction at all and the woman kept jogging straight for me. On her approach, I moved my body sideways as she made no effort to change her course. She passed me, brushing my clothes with hers as she went and said 'good afternoon' and gave me a very strange self-satisfied look. When passed me, I glanced over my shoulder to see her smirk at the man that was jogging with her. He returned her smirk as they carried on their way. After this experience, I was sure that she knew that I was tripping and that was trying to fuck with my mind and play games. I spent a few moments thinking about the situation, before concluding that I needed to be more careful around people that I do not know as letting them know that I am in a state of psychedelic intoxication leaves me in a place of great vulnerability.
After getting lost a few more times, I finally found the road back to my house and followed the road back, seeing enomous detail in everything that I passed. Everything felt friendly and vibrant and fortunately my road was quiet for the time of day and I joyfully walked the 15 minutes it took back to my humble house without a care in my mind.
On opening the front door to my house, I saw the inside of my house like it was lit up in neon lights (a tad freaky though). Everything was so alive and detailed as it was still daylight outside. For many hours I lay on my bed with my eyes closed being shown the power of the infinite creative energy of God and how this energy is expressed sexually. This energy ran from the crown of my head, down my body and out through my base chakra. The Mescaline was so typically a phenethylamine in its effect and felt a lot like MDMA, except that there was no 'rush', but a constant surge of euphoria. The feeling made my body feel hot and seretonergic, very like E. What surprised me the most is that the trip felt so clean and natural and not plant-like at all. What I mean by that is, it didn't feel like a mixture of alkaloids and toxic substances that were causing the effects, like some plant based entheogens do. But it was clear to me that the primary effects were caused by a single compound (in other words, it felt like I had taken a pill of some kind). The CEV's were a little 'cheesy' and resembled the symbols on playing cards. There were small spade and club symbols in blue, green red and yellow all changing colour and morphing and rippling whilst everything else in my mind was black.
By late afternoon, the peak had passed and I started coming down. By the evening, I felt virtually normal, although a bit tripped out in the brain - but not much. But the one thing that was clear to me, was that Mescaline is very different to LSD. Acid can make me feel totally 'fried' after a trip and really screw with my mind for a few days, but that was not the case with Mescaline. When the effects had passed, I felt normal and sane. I could even eat well by evening and slept well that night too.
Would I do it again? Without a doubt. Next time, I would keep the dosage similar, but maybe go to about 10-12' but not any more than that, but it won't be for a year or two at least. I feel that the path in front of me is clear and I know where I am going now. To those that are interested in what this cactus could do for them, I have this advice. Set aside a weekend that you can just relax without the need to do anything in particular, be somewhere where you don't have to cross busy roads or interact with stangers, do not plan on driving (very bad idea), take it in a natural setting (not in a club or at a rave, as it's not a 'party' drug) and lastly, have someone that you can call if you get into any type of trouble (someone that has experience in these matters for be best). With the above attention to setting, you will help yourself feel safer than you might if you just go at it randomly, as in an intoxicated space, something as simple as telling the time or finding your way when you are lost can prove very challenging and create undue stress.
Stay safe and good luck ,-)
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