Citation: Aries. "Teonanacatl, the Teacher of Plants: An Experience with Mushrooms & Cannabis (exp62470)". Erowid.org. Jul 3, 2009. erowid.org/exp/62470
Below is my story of meeting Teonanacatl, the Aztec Mushroom Spirit. This experience has deepened my respect for the very real intelligence contained in the mushroom and all other plants. Not only was I given profound insights, but Mushroom *physically* interacted with me, moving my body and teaching me about the plant world.
My car broke down earlier in the day, forcing me to curtail my Saturday plans and spend the afternoon at home. I decided to commune with Mushroom, since it was a gorgeous sunny day and I was feeling unusually calm and at peace. I even felt a vague sense of purpose, as if my car breaking down was intentional, so that I would be at home for this journey. I feel great respect for Mushroom's spirit, and as usual I cleared my mind, spoke my intent to the mushrooms I was about to eat, told Mushroom I love him, then asked Mushroom to teach me about trust. I had been feeling a strange separation from my friends and I knew it was because I was missing a depth of trust in them. I ate about 3 grams, just a portion of my stash. I usually eat piece by piece until the mushrooms let me know I've hit the right dose.
I smoked a small bowl of cannabis, then meditated with the music of Bach for about 30 minutes, glowing in a stream of sunlight from my back porch. I thanked the mushroom spirit for his wisdom and caring, and again repeated my love for him. This is a great way to endear Mushroom to you, though of course your love and gratitude must be sincere. As the mushrooms took over my senses, I moved to my bedroom, laid in bed, and closed my eyes. I kept repeating the word 'trust' and over time Mushroom began speaking back, reminding me to keep on trusting. He made it clear that the lesson in trust I desire begins with trust in him.
As my ego dissolved, about an hour into the trip, Mushroom showed me the great abundance and miracle that is my life. I suddenly saw the vast gifts I had created and been given, coupled with the infinite range of life's possibilities, and I felt a deep gratitude for everything in my life. I saw myself as a gorgeous ethereal being, strong in ability, able to move anywhere, able to make anything happen. This was not an ego trip, of course, it was a spiritual revelation about the truth of my being, the truth of *all* human beings, that it is our ego that *blocks* us from realizing and manifesting the possibilities.
A few insights and visions passed, then I felt a pressure on me, a force delving deep into my spirit. Instinctively I blocked it, but Mushroom asked me to trust, that he had to get at something in my soul. He said it would hurt momentarily, but that it was necessary to clear this blockage. I said okay, I trust you. I actually felt something like fingers dig around inside me and pluck something loose. Suddenly I began wretching, letting out dry heaves, coughs, and tears. I knew that I was purging out whatever blockage Mushroom had just released.
A tremendous wave of intense emotional energy surged and overtook me. I began bawling as I saw my friends together in a group, smiling and waving at me, inviting me to play with them. I realized I had been unduly mistrusting them, not seeing their love for me, completely missing the boat of friendship, and I surged with love for them and for myself. The intense emotion lasted a while, then as it faded I realized I had to pee. But Mushroom wouldn't let me, he told me again to trust him and trust my body, that I don't have to pee right now, that I have more lessons to learn first.
After a few more insights, Mushroom gave me permission to get up and go to the bathroom. I did so, washed my hands, then realized I was losing control of my fingers. I felt a force from within me trying to move my body, as if I were possessed. I closed my eyes and could see a vague human form, not my own, entering my body. I gave Mushroom permission to take me, I reiterated my trust, relaxed my body completely, and offered myself to him.
Suddenly my arms began moving of their own accord. I soon realized that I was being pulled towards the front of my apartment. I followed the tug, my arms outstretched, as if hands were gripping them and pulling me. The tug became a yank and I barreled to my front window, where my house plants are kept. My body collapsed in front of the largest plant (I'm afraid I don't know the species name) and I became awash in the plant's energy. I held one of the larger leaves to my face and I could feel intense healing energy entering my body. I began uttering deep, guttural, lion-like breaths as the energy of the plant coursed through me.
Mushroom then began teaching me. He told me this plant specializes in healing and that if I approach it correctly I can tap into its energy whenever I want. As I continued to bask in the energy, Mushroom then told me something startling: he said humans were long ago taken over by anti-plant spirits, spirits bent on destroying the plants, and that since that time there has been a battle raging between the plant spirits and the anti-plant spirits. He said the plants have been trying desperately to wake up humanity to this, but humans are still under the spell of the other forces. I declared my alliance with the plant spirits and I pledged to learn and live as a plant steward.
I sat back, my body limp, feeling rejuvenated, not to mention in utter awe at what was happening. Then my arms began moving again. As they rose up and moved around, I asked what was going on. I said 'you're enjoying messing with my body, aren't you?'. I could then *feel* a sigh in my mind, and my arms suddenly went limp. What I didn't realize was Mushroom was trying to get me to get up and move, but since I didn't respond he let go in frustration and instructed the plant that was just healing me to push me away. The healing energy I was soaking in suddenly became rigid and I was physically pushed away by the plant. My body felt the force of it and moved back, which confused me at first. Thinking the plant was angry with me, I stood up and apologized to it for whatever I did or didn't do. But then my right arm started moving and was again tugged, this time towards the back of my apartment.
It was as if a hand was gripping my arm, pulling me towards my back porch. I again barreled in the direction of Mushroom's pull, but when I reached the porch I yanked my arm back and said 'wait a minute!'. I told Mushroom I was confused by this interaction, that I don't really like being yanked around, and that I needed a moment to get my bearings. He gave me a minute, then started lightly pulling at my arm, towards my back window. I looked out the window and saw my garden in the backyard. I acknowledged the garden. Mushroom said 'good, now let's go outside.'
Once again my arm was being tugged, this time towards the door to outside. I live in a densely populated city, therefore I was very reluctant, telling Mushroom I was uncomfortable going outside while tripping, since people could see me, and I sure as heck didn't want people see me with my arms flailing around. Much to my surprise, Mushroom grabbed my foot and spun my leg around! He then grabbed both arms, tugging me towards outside. I reiterated my fear of being seen, but Mushroom repeated his request to trust him, so I said okay, but told him I had to put my outside slippers on first.
I couldn't find the slippers, so I asked Mushroom for help. He told me they were in my kitchen under the ironing board. I checked and voila, there they were. I put on my slippers and walked towards the door.
I could feel Mushroom leading me, tugging at my spirit as I walked towards the garden. I kneeled in front of the new strawberry plants that were just planted there, but then I began to feel self conscious just kneeling and tripping while I could hear my neighbors, wondering what they'd think if they saw me. So I hurried back inside, which made Mushroom a bit frustrated. He told me again to trust him, that if I felt self conscious kneeling by the garden I could instead sit in a chair, so if someone saw me I'd just be relaxing, enjoying the evening breeze. I wasn't sure there was a chair in my backyard, but I trusted him and went back outside. True to his word, a lawn chair was sitting against the back wall of my house, so I pulled it up and took a seat.
Mushroom told me to look down at the grass. As I did so, the lawn began morphing like it was animate life, the energy of the grass being made visually apparent to me. My cat was by my side this whole time (which was unusual since he usually likes to roam) and he was chewing on some of the grass. I asked Mushroom if the grass minded my cat stomping and eating them and he said of course they don't mind, that's what the grass is for, indeed that is what all plants are for: nourishment and healing. It is when we cut and burn and trash that the plants get angry with us.
I then felt Mushroom wanting me to get up. At this point he was fading, and he had a resultant urgency, tugging at me to move. I got up, thinking he wanted me to take a walk. I walked out into the alley behind my house, but I was misinterpreting Mushroom's request. No matter where I walked, Mushroom kept trying to pull me back the other way. It wasn't until later that I realized Mushroom was pulling me back to my garden, but his messages were so weak by this point I was getting frustrated not understanding them (and so was he). I walked around my block twice, back and forth through my alley, thinking I was supposed to be getting some sort of clue.
I eventually slumped back into the lawn chair, and asked Mushroom for one final sign. A robin swooped in and perched on my neighbor's garage, faced me, sang a little song, then took off over my head. The garden was directly in between me and the robin, a clear sign of where Mushroom wanted me to go. I got up to get close to the garden again, but by then Mushroom was too weak to teach me anything. I asked Mushroom if there was anything more or if I can go back inside. Mushroom gave me one last tug in exasperation, pulling me in one final annoyed effort towards my house, as if to say 'Fine! Go back inside! I'm through with you anyway.' I could feel his disappointment in my missing his lesson.
I went back into my apartment and laid down on my bed. I was feeling awful, like I really had let Mushroom down. I got up, put my hand into my stash, feeling the remaining mushrooms vibrating in resonance against my fingers, and I told Mushroom I love him and trust him, and I apologized for not getting his lesson. His last message to me was 'trust that I love you, too.'
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