DOSE:

10 in

oral

Cacti - T. pachanoi

(fresh)

BODY WEIGHT:

170 lb

It was an ordinary day and i was quite bored as usuall. The mail truck came and left me with one 21 inch cactus and 100 seeds. I placed the cactus in my closet. I've never had a psychedelic experience, but something within me has been telling me that I should try it. For a few years now I was depressed, my mother knew this and was thinking I should go to a psychiatrist. I knew from all that I have read and learned that I could be my own psychiatrist with psychedelics. I have been learning about them for about three deeply devoted years, and was one of the few people that do their homework before using such a powerful substance. From all that I read and learned I was sure that I could handle the experience quite easily.

Before the catus arrived I read somewhere that San Pedro wasn't potent and that you need to eat a few pounds just to have a decent experience. This got me upset as I proceeded to take the spines off the cactus in my room. I was expecting to have something like a potent weed high and nothing more. I partialy peeled the cactus and put the remains in a blender and liquified it. I spooned in the sludge into my mouth trying to swallow it down as quick as possible so that I wouldn't have to taste much. after a few spoonfuls I had to pinch my leg while swallowing to prevent from gagging myself.

I finished the sludge and layed down and listened to some dance music. After an hour I got bored and went to my PC. I stayed on the computer for around a half hour and thought I had just wasted my time buying and eating this cactus. I didn't feel or see anything so decided to go to bed. I turned on my blacklight and tried to go to sleep. I layed in bed and couldn't go to sleep, so I turned to face the cieling and noticed that I felt somewhat humble and happy just to be lying in my bed in my pj's. I looked at the cieling and noticed small distortions in my vision, sort of like a pot visual. I entertained myself with this for around an hour.

I thought I had reached my peak when the cieling looked like it was flowing like water. But then the visuals came on stronger and stronger. I felt somewhat drunk or stoned not really mind revealing. Then as the visuals began to overwhelm me, I started getting nervous and a little scared. I thought to myself while I was feeling drunk or stoned that this wasn't spiritual and I dissed the many people that said that the experience was powerful and revealing. I felt that the visuals were letting me know that I had disrespected them and the ancient shamans. I started apoligizing and said that I would treat this with much more respect from now on.

My thoughts were merging with what I was feeling and became part of my reality. I was starting to panic and feeling nauses and dizzy. Then I thought to myself what I had read and began saying out loud 'RELAXATION IS THE GATEWAY', while inhaling deep and exhaling (sort of like some kind of meditating breathing exercise). I kept doing this as the room was bieng overwhelmed with strong warping images and distortions of objects around the room. I did this for a short while and then it JUST HIT! I felt what I was saying and I came to the conclusion that fear here...has no meaning! I felt as though I had been freed from the panic and fear.

That is when the experience showed me the doors of perception and I closed my eyes and saw animals, plants and people like those sewn into indian carpets and art, all in deep bluish colors and some becoming super intricate and colorful. I had the cd player in my radio playing some guitar music, and it sounded so clear, as if I could play the guitar! There were some warping worm holes that would expand and as I focused into them I would go into deep thought trances and everything in existence though infinetley complicated became so clear and simple.

I could focus into many thoughts and I felt that I should focus on a basic thought so that I could remember when I returned into normal counciousness. The basic principal of the experience is' EVERYTHING EXISTS WITHIN ITSELF' MEANING: all of reality is so basic yet so infinite. Think about space, the universe ... the galaxies exist within it and the solar systems exist within that.... planets exist in that.... living animals exist within the earth bacteria and cells live within the animals and atoms exist within that....EVERYTHING EXISTS IN AN ETERNAL PLANE. I could see everything as eternal.

So beautiful and so simple. I have never experienced such a strong sense of peace with living and existing. The next day I went outside and noticed things like birds singing and the wind steadily blowing, everything became so beautiful and I had a change of life views and was no longer jealous about what other people had. I lost my anger that was deep inside of me... and it feels GREAT!

Exp Year: 2001	ExpID: 5684
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jan 18, 2002	Views: 17,891
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Cacti - T. pachanoi (64) : Alone (16), First Times (2)