Citation: Danika. "First Panic Attack: An Experience with Cannabis (exp56558)". Erowid.org. Jan 25, 2009. erowid.org/exp/56558
I remember having the greatest time when smoking pot and being so high. I remember being able to laugh with my friends, share stories and not have a single worry.
Then my experiences changed slightly over time, with small paranoia then would increase each time I would smoke weed. Because I started to not like the effects of weed I only would smoke it once in awhile and if I really craved it I would only smoke just a tiny bit to feel a buzz. I also take the anti-depressant 'Celexa' and is not a smart thing to do to mix anti-depressants and any kind of drug, but me, I never listened.
Last weekend I experienced my first panic attack from smoking too much weed and I hope it will be my last.
My boyfriend is a regular pot smoker, he smokes pot almost everyday. Me, I rarely do. So we were up late one night and decided to get high. I remember just smoking so many huge hits, right away I felt so happy, thinking why havenít I smoked this drug more often, I was laughing and remembering the good times.
Then we got inside his room, I remember being automatically drawn to the alien poster on his wall. The alien had huge eyes and his eyes were so mystical, and dream like. It felt like his eyes hid a story and I couldnít stop staring at them, soon the alien became my best friend. Then the high turned into me having a deep conversation with my boyfriend, explaining to him I want someone to video tape me really high or drunk to show myself that I do not act normal under substances. He then said we should go to the living room and just talk. So we went the living room and I just remember my boyfriend mentioning the subject about the video camera idea I was talking about. Then the paranoia happened, all of the sudden I started crying and believed my boyfriend had been video taping me all along without my consent. Then I believed that there were video cameras hidden all over his living room, staring at me. I became extremely delusional and told him to get away from him, and to move things so they wouldnít look at me.
Then I remember us turning on the TV and I calmed down, then the anxiety happened again, I remember hearing the actors on the TV talking about me, well thatís what I believed. I heard them say I was nuts and saying things about me. Then the panic happened where I couldnít breathe well, and my boyfriend's only option was to get his mother. His mother came downstairs and I was hyperventilating, crying, and my heart was beating so fast. I donít remember a lot, but soon my body was spazzing up, it felt like a demon was inside me or a being taking over my body. Soon I was unable to speak clearly and was making noises. I just remember sitting there, as still as a statue with just fear in my eyes. My boyfriendís mom had to call 911 because they didnít know what to do and 10 minutes had already passed and I was still hyperventilating. When the paramedics came, my body was still spazzing, I thought that maybe I was having a heart attack. I wasnít. During the ambulance ride I calmed down but also had a laughing episode. I really then thought I was crazy, I just couldnít stop laughing. In the ER I pretty much slept, talked to the doctor, was given many blood tests and was given ďAtivanĒ and Potassium pills because the blood test showed that I have low potassium.
Itís been a few days since the panic attack. It still hasnít left my mind the experience I had. I tell myself I will never smoke weed again, but I have told myself that before and still end up going back to it. I have also been having pretty scary nightmares these past 2 nights, and plan on having an appointment with my family doctor about my anxiety and may have to get some more counseling.
Iím really going to miss weed. But if I want to stay Ďsaneí, I guess I will just have to say goodbye to my green friend.
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