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The Selfish Trip That Made Me Selfless
H.B. Woodrose
by Tim
Citation:   Tim. "The Selfish Trip That Made Me Selfless: An Experience with H.B. Woodrose (exp55180)". Erowid.org. Feb 20, 2009. erowid.org/exp/55180

 
DOSE:
9 seeds oral H.B. Woodrose (ground / crushed)

BODY WEIGHT: 175 lb


My friend Zach and I consumed the seeds in the desert at about 7:15pm. I counted out 9 seeds, put them in a plastic baggie, and smashed them with a rock. I poured my seed crumbs into a half full water bottle, shook it up, and drank it. It tasted like potting soil. Zach did the same with 8 seeds. We walked over to a cement drainage area in the desert and waited for the drugs to kick in while the sun went down.

After about an hour, some visual distortions became noticable, like the spray-painted pentagram on the wall that started bleeding. We decided to drive to QT while we still had the ability. [Erowid Note: Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. Don't do it!] We each bought a Fuze to drink and nothing else. We then drove back to a local park and sat at the picnic tables. Around 9 o clock my other friend Jason rode his bike to the park and met up with us. He was supposed to have taken his 8 seeds at the same time we did, but he had to go to his grandma's birthday party at the last minute. He took his seeds then and there, and we all layed down on the concrete and looked up at the stars. I began to feel very sick and dizzy and my legs hurt as if I'd just sprinted 100 miles.

We all just kinda layed around the park for a while on the benches, slides, and picnic tables. Eventually, Zach and Jason sat down near the slides, and I sat by myself at the other side of the playground. The sick feeling continued to worsen, and I felt like I was in a fog of pain and confusion. My first trip with 6 microwaved seeds resulted in no discomfort or unpleasantness whatsoever. I wanted so badly for this trip to be over, the sick feeling overshadowed any positive feeling that came from the high. I sat there and thought long and hard about drugs and why I did them. Finally, I'd estimate at around 11pm, I vomited everything I had in my stomach onto the ground and my shoe. I rinsed out my mouth in the drinking fountain and sat down with Zach and Jason. I told them that I felt almost completely better, and that this drug wasn't so bad after all.

I took Jason's bike for a ride and felt amazing. The sound of the rear wheel clicking as I coasted down the sidewalk brought back many good memories of riding a bike as a young kid. I came back to the picnic table and Zach told me he had been feeling sick too, but was trying to ignore the feeling. After a few more minutes of chatting about nothing at the picnic tables, Zach vomited too. I told him about Albert Hofmann's book that I was reading. In it, there are a series of LSD trips that follow a recurring theme. The people tripping feel as if they are going through hell. They then experience a climax of pain/terror/horror, and then feel purged and clean and enligtened for the remaining part of the trip.

Jason took his bike for a ride around the park again, and Zach and I talked more about drugs. He told me that this trip made him never want to do any drugs again. I had been having similar thoughts and we talked about it while Jason rode around on his bike. We decided that smoking pot was a selfish thing people do to entertain themselves when they are bored. We realized on this particular night, the main reason we did LSA was the opportunity to see cool colors or weird hallucinations, but at the price of risking our health, and passing up the opportunity to do more productive things with the people who truly care about us.

Jason came back from his bike ride, and I convinced myself I was sober enough to drive to 7-11 to get food. Jason got a popsicle, and I got some tums to settle the remaining pains in my stomach. After what seemed like a long time of aimlessly driving around with nowhere to go, We dropped Jason off at his house at midnight. Zach and I went to the elementary school and gathered our thoughts and tried to come down from the trip. I began to think more and more about all the people in my life and I looked at how I affected them from their point of view. I felt very guilty and selfish for letting myself drift away from my family, who truly cared about me. In the past several months I had started smoking pot again and was always quiet at the dinner table and never felt like talking to anyone. There had been many other times when I blew off my wonderful girlfriend, who hates when I smoke pot, and chose to hang out with my stoner friends instead. I went home that night and felt terrible about the person I was.

I woke up the next morning, with the drugs completely out of my head, and took the bus to see my girlfriend. I spent the entire day with her fixing up her new apartment and watching movies. I felt closer to my girlfriend than I had in months, and it made her incredibly happy. The positive feeling at the end of that day was far greater than the mindless complacency of coming home high and eating cookies in front of the computer. This drug made me think deeper and harder than I ever had before. Because of it, I changed my outlook on life.

Exp Year: 2006ExpID: 55180
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Feb 20, 2009Views: 13,088
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H.B. Woodrose (26) : General (1), Relationships (44), Difficult Experiences (5), Small Group (2-9) (17)

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