Citation: bob. "One Mind?: An Experience with MDMA & Various (exp54902)". Erowid.org. Feb 14, 2019. erowid.org/exp/54902
[Reported Substances: "Ecstasy, LSD, Mushrooms"]
I've never written a trip report before but I've read plenty and related to so many of them, I decided to write one of my own. These series of events take place over a 10-11 month period.
It all started in august of 2005 when my friend J invited me to my first rave downtown. Before this I was very dedicated to martial arts and weight training. I was very stable minded. I have done a fair share of drugs...LSD, E, mush, coke, crack, salvia.....just to name a few. I went downtown around 6pm after work on a friday. Everything was good. We were drinking beer and pot, then decided to go pick up ecstasy for the rave the next night. We each bought 4 for ourselves.
The next day we hung around drinking up, popped an E and around 8pm we headed out for the rave. We took the street car down and were the first few in line. About a half hour later the line started to fill up. Everyone started going in one by one. I was wearing a harley davidson shirt and a biker pulled up to the side and dropped a girl off. At the same time I look over and we just look at each other for a minute. Then I turn to the bouncer and he gives me a strange look like I was associated with the biker or something. He let all of my friends in but made me stand outside. Eventually he put out his hand to shake mine. We shook and he just smiled and let me in. It was rather confusing.
Anyways I get inside and I am high as a kite by this time. I wasn't sure what these places were about so I go stand by the bar and have a drink. To the right side of me there is a thing called a 'trip booth'. A little table with a guy and a girl, distributing fliers about drugs and whatnot. J was getting close to the girl at the booth. I just hung around the bar as girls checked me out. It was good. When J left I heard the guy and girl at the trip booth talking. I was very high but I remember the girl say to the guy 'tell me about this one'. It kind of tripped me out. The guy began to describe me to her. The strange thing is he was almost dead on with everything. It was really tripping me out, but I just dismissed it as not important. J comes back and talks to the girl. Then out of nowhere J comes back to me and asks me 'do you ever dream things and have them happen in actual life' and I reply yes, all the time. J goes back to the table and says something in the guy's ear, and I knew then the guy had asked my friend to ask me. It was very strange. For the the rest of the night, whenever I looked at the girl at the table she had a very sad/concerned look in her eyes. She would smile and be happy with J, but whenever we made eye contact she looked very worried or scared like she knew something about me. This began to worry me a bit.
I then left the rave to smoke a joint with someone, and then return inside. When I returned, the whole atmosphere had changed. It was like everything was directed at me.
It was like everything was directed at me.
I remember near the end of it all, I was sitting on a couch watching everyone dancing infront of the Dj. I started to think to myself. But I realised people would turn and look at me when I had these thoughts. Almost as if I were thinking out loud, if that makes any sense. Once I realised this I was almost afraid to think at all because I thought they would be able to know everything about me. But I just kept breathing and putting out as much good vibes as possible. People would just look at me and smile. It made no sense to me. After the rave we would all go back to J's basement apartment and chill out to tunes and food or sleep. I remember we were all too sketchy to sleep so we layed on the floor staring off into space. I was staring at the phone cord that was hanging off the dresser. I just stared at it and imagined it moving up the wall. Right then and there it began to move up and up at my will. I just went with it and kept going until I gave up and let it fall. I turned at My friend and he was staring at J like he was speachless. I was really high and didn't really take any of this serious.
After I came down and went home back to my routines of work and everything, everything became normal again. I just ignored what had happened that night as if it were not important. But I was wrong. I started raving regularly after that and I started doing 10-15 tabs of ecstasy per weekend. Soon things started getting really intense and I wasn't feeling myself.
I started doing 10-15 tabs of ecstasy per weekend. Soon things started getting really intense and I wasn't feeling myself.
We would all hang out in J's basement apartment during weekends. I think it was the E that brought it out but I started to realize how powerful the human mind really is. I would ride the subway/bus home every sunday night in time for work the next day. Sometimes I would have a tune going on in my head. I t would be really clear though, almost like I were listening to a cd player. When this happened people would turn and look at me like they could hear it. It really started to scare me.
As the months went by this started to intensify. It was like everywhere I went everyone could hear my thoughts, like I was broadcasting them out or something. For the longest time I could not sleep in silence. I always had to have music or the TV on. Whenever I would close my eyes I could imagine my mind going through every room in my house and then past that into the backyard and beyond. Like everything I surrounded was connected to me and my every thought. It truely drove me to insanity. I was almost afraid to go anywhere, to leave my house. I was extremely paranoid. I couldn't face people anymore.
I hadn't been to martial arts in months. I lost my girlfriend. Everything was going downhill. After a while of sitting at home doing nothing, I decided to go out again. I partied with some old friends out in the countryside. I then started to realise that everyone is capable of these mind powers, and they don't need drugs to use them. My problem was I just needed to keep them under control.
I did LSD a few more times and listened to the band Tool really intensely. I then became aware that we are all one mind/ one consciousness. We are all experiencing life the way we want to at our own will. Nobody on earth knows the ultimate truth to life. Some may have a better concept and understanding than others and may know themselves better, but know one truely knows.
It is now the end of July/begining of august 2006, and I have just recently got back into martial arts and began meditating regularily. I'm trying to get to know myself better. I have layed off the drugs for a while, but I know I will return to the psychedelics again soon for another journey into my mind.
I tried to make this report as short as possible. It might not make much sense to some as I am not the greatest writer, but I felt I had to share this with you because I have related so much to the other reports.
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