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Dani Depression
2C-B
Citation:   C. L. Riffle. "Dani Depression: An Experience with 2C-B (exp54452)". Erowid.org. Jan 28, 2009. erowid.org/exp/54452

 
DOSE:
2 hits oral 2C-B (powder / crystals)
  1 repeated smoked Cannabis  
BODY WEIGHT: 150 lb
Once when I was about 19 I happen to come across a substance known as 2-cb. I knew it was a designer drug that shulgin invented. I've always been very curious about hallucinogens so I decided I really wanted to try it. The reason I'm writing this now is because I just recently came across some DOB and I did a little research and learned it is very similar in effect except for time span.

At this point in my life I was addicted to heroin. I was attending the local methadone clinic to get off of it. That was a bad idea, I was just switching addictions. Thats a different story. I was also dealing with my fiance' running away for a week to get high. She had just come back to make ammends. I thought I was okay.

I purchased what I was told 2 doses. It was liquid in a shot glass. I put it in my cubbord for 2 days. It turned to a crystal in that period of time. I didn't know if it was going to work or not. Well Danielle (my fiance') went to work and I decided I would trip that day. I love day trips. I put some water on it and let it desolve. I then poured gatorade to fill the shot glass and took it like a shot. It tasted really bad. I then bought some pot from my downstairs neighbor. He came up and smoked a blunt with me. Keep in mind this man is about a 35 year old black man with a family and good job. Christian man as well. Well when we got done I could tell I felt something different so I told him I was going to take a shower so he would leave.

This is when things got started. I noticed a change in my visual perception. It somewhat reminded me of lsd. Walls breathing, carpet forming patterns, tracers, and colors. I was somewhat excited. I wanted to figure out what I was going to do. I decided I'd go for a walk. As soon as I walked outside everything seemed so big and ...... not really scary but just to much. So I went back inside my appartment.

I was very indecissive. I decided I would put on a movie. I wanted a light hearted movie so I chose Can't Hardly Wait. Well this movie is somewhat of a romance/comedy. When I saw how this guy felt about the girl in the movie it made me think of Danielle. I started getting really depressed thinking, 'why would she want me?' 'I'm a junkie, that doesn't treat her right' Well in reality thats the same thing she was but I couldn't see that.

The trip was starting to get pretty hard at this point. All I could think about was Danielle. I was in a serious state of depression. It was horrible. The visuals were getting extremely strong. I liked that. It was the only entertainment I had because I wasn't enjoying my state of mind. The only thing about it was that they would come and go. One minute everything was moving and changing colors, then next It was bairly breathing. Tracers were the only steady part of visuals.

I then decided I would drive somewhere to get my mind off of everything. (I know driving while tripping is a bad idea but I was not known for my decision making skills.) I went downstairs to my car. [Erowid Note: Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. Don't do it!]

Everything was still so big and somewhat scary at this point but, I was going to make myself. I got into my car and all of a sudden I got VERY clostraphobic. It was scary. I then went back upstairs to my appartment. I don't think I've ever been as indecissive/depressed. At this point I decided I would smoke some pot to try and chill out. It did not help at all. I closed my eyes and LOVED the closed eye visuals more than the oev's. Which is strange to me. My biggest appeal to hallucinogens is seeing my world completely different than normal. I then realized at the center of this long tunnel of colors was Danielle...kissing the drug dealer she ran off with. I got up and started crying. Loud depressing crying. My neighbor knocked on my door to see if I was okay. I told him I was fine and to please leave me alone.

I had no idea how long I had been tripping except that it was longer than 2 hours because I watched that movie. I realized I wanted to come down. I started praying out loud for God to release me from this prison of depression I no doubt got myself into. It was terrifying. After that I realized I am going to end this the only way I know how. Taking more drugs. I called around looking for xanax. No one would sale me any because the week danielle was gone I probably took about 50 xanax over 5 days to try and forget about her. There was clearly a problem there. I knew I would then have to get some heroin.

I then drove (crying the entire way) to my smack dealers house. When I got there the visuals were so strong that I couldn't even tell who Ted was in this room of junkies I was in. I was crying and begging for ted to sell me some dope. Everyone thought I was withdrawing, but I told them that I had taken the 2-cb and wanted to end my sadness. They all decided they wanted some. I could bairly comprehend why these people saw how terrible I felt yet they still wanted to do it. Well ted sold me enough for 2 big ass shots. I went home to do it because I don't like hanging out in junkie houses, especially not then.

I got home and only had one needle because I had been off of H for a couple of months at this point, just doing methadone. I sat and tried to rig the shot. It was so hard to see through the tears and I was shaking. The candle flame seemed to keep jumping around and growing. It was terrifying but I knew once I had that sweet brown powder in my vein I would be okay. I finally got a big shot rigged. I put it in my arm and couldn't find a vein. I don't know if it was because my arm appeared to be changing color and moving or if it was because my vein was so tore up. I had blood running all over my arm. The next thing I know is I hear a knock on the door. I freaked out. I looked out the hole and realized it was Danielle coming home from work. Had I been tripping 6 hours already? I then realized the visuals weren't as strong.

I told her to wait a minute and then hid my dope and rigging material under the couch. She came in and saw I was crying. She said 'whats wrong bae' I told her I had been tripping and thinking about how she was going to leave me again. She comforted me and told me everything was going to be okay and that I was just tripping. She said as long as we both try to stay clean that she would be with me. I realized my abillity to hold conversation was so bad that trying to lie about the H would be impossible. I told her I wanted to feel better so I went and got the H. I told her I couldn't get it to work. She comforted me again and told me she understood. I then showed her my arm and the blood. She helped me wash it off.

I then enjoyed the rest of my afternoon/evening with her in my arms as I came back down to baseline. She stayed with me untill 8 months later when I decided I would go to treatment. Halfway through she left me for a drug dealer again. I then thought about how while I was tripping God was trying to tell me eventually she will leave me again. I don't know, but I do know that trip although not to terribly strong visually(compared to alot of GOOD lsd) was the most terrifying trip emotionally I have ever had. I've tripped alot too.

I got off all the drugs. Every now and then I will trip acid again, but other than that I just drink now. Needless to say I probably will not do the DOB. That morning I trully thought everything in my life was okay untill I took the 2-cb. I feel stable right now but I'm afraid something deep down would get drawn up. That trip only lasted 6 hours. I don't think I could take 18 hours of that.

Exp Year: 2004ExpID: 54452
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jan 28, 2009Views: 12,221
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2C-B (52) : First Times (2), Difficult Experiences (5), Relationships (44), Alone (16)

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