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The Feeling Within
Citation:   Sepulfreak. "The Feeling Within: An Experience with Methylone (exp53665)". Jun 22, 2006.

175 mg oral Methylone (capsule)
    smoked Cannabis (plant material)
    smoked Lotus/Lily - Nymphaea nouchali var caerulea (tar / resin)
Mindset: Very good mood, prepared for the experience
Method of dosing: Capsule
Dosage: 175mgs
Duration: 4-5 hours
Medications: None

It had been a long time since I had experimented with Methylone, and I was finally graciously given the chance to experience that wonderful beauty in everything again, little did I know, I was about to have one the best experiences of my entire life.

I'll start by adding a little background: For about a week now, I have been spending time with a girl (A) that I've been friends with for around six months. She has always been very special to me, but one day after laying a blanket in the grass at a playground near her apartment, I asked her if she'd be mad at me if I kissed her. She replied, ''of course not.'' So I did. I had always liked her to some extent, but her best friend (G) has been infatuated with me for years, and we had been off and on. To be honest, I am really connected to (G) as friends, but I have only had a couple bouts of actually being attracted to her. It is clear to me that it would never work. So, as you can see, there are some issues that need to be resolved.

We had a great time all week. There was not a single moment that was uncomfortable. It was almost as if we had been friends for years. We were getting really into each other in a romantic way as the days went past, so I decided to ask her if she would like to share something really special with me. I explained to her what Methylone was, and she agreed that it would be a pleasant idea.

It was quite difficult to wait until Monday to do this given that I received it quite a few days before. I've used it around six times, and I have had nothing but positive experiences with it, so it was very tempting. However, I cannot express how vital and worthwhile it was to wait.

See, at first, I wanted just me and (A) to use it, but after thinking about it for a while, I came to the conclusion that we aren't ready for that sort of thing. Plus, we haven't had any sexual relations yet because I believe it is far more important as well as enjoyable to have intimacy instead of passion (in an erotic nature) or even a fusion of the two in the beginning of a relationship. So, we decided to invite my best friend (J) of course, as well as our new good friends (J2 and L).

(J2 and L) are a couple, and they've been together for several years. I actually knew (J2) for quite a few years, but just lately we have been getting to be close friends. I feel very comfortable around both of them, and we all share plenty of interests. As of right now, we've pretty much been tripping buddies, herb indulgers (Cannabis, Blue Lotus, Kratom, and plenty of others), mushroom pickers, and we share an appreciation of music, but I have a feeling they are going to be among my best friends before long. (J2) and I both play guitar as well. He knows a few good classical scales, and I am very fond of his style even though he thinks he sucks. ''smiles''

Anyway, we decided that the lake where (J) lives would be a good choice for the setting, as this is where I have had plenty of other psychedelic experiences. Plus, it was a beautiful day for swimming. We consumed the capsules as soon as we arrived. My capsule contained 175mgs, while (J)'s and (A)'s contained 150mgs, as it was their first time with this chemical. (J2) ate some Psilocybe caerulipes mushrooms. I'm not actually sure if (L) ate any or not.

We hung around outside of (J)'s house as the drug started to show its effects because there is a nice view from the porch. It didn't come on in one big rush like it had in the past at times, but I think it was because I usually had some more intense female stimulation in the beginning when I first started using Methylone.

(A) and I were changing into our swimming wear when the effects became very notable. She came back out on the porch and sat on one of the benches. She began to rub lotion all over herself, and expressed how good it felt. (J) and I were looking at each other with awe of the genuine euphoria. I was a bit surprised, as (J) doesn't typically enjoy Empathogenic drugs. However, this time, he seemed to be quite content. The social effect became very apparent, as at times I think we all forgot that we had even taken a drug.

Soon after this, I walked over to (A) who was standing at the end of the porch looking out at the view. She kept talking about how beautiful everything was and that she really needed to see what she was seeing. She has had some very unfortunate personal things happen to her that has caused a lot of chaos in her life, and when I looked into her eyes, I saw it all wash away. It was one of the most beautiful sights I have ever seen.

While her and I were sitting on the porch swing, we looked into each otherís eyes and had a conversation with each other without saying a single word. It was something that words could never explain. My mind was flooding with empathy, and I felt as though a flower bloomed inside of my heart, and it appeared in her eyes. It was the moment where I actually realized how beautiful she really is. ''Wow'' was all I could think.

There was this feeling within me that was so pure and so awesome that words could never describe it. Peace. Joy. Contentment. I was ''one'' with everything, a ++++ on Shulgin's scale. I am actually shedding tears just writing about it. This drug tore all of the walls I had built in my mind from my recent Heroin addiction, and I loved myself. I felt the acceptence and approval of God, and nothing else mattered. When I looked at (A), I saw the same thing in her. She was so peaceful and happy. All of the stuff she had been dealing with in her life was gone for the moment, and she was allowed for the first time in a while to enjoy life to the fullest. At one point, she picked a Maple leaf from a nearby tree, and she felt the most profound empathy for all of nature.

As for me, I was just floating back and forth conversating between people. (J) was loving the whole thing. He described it as one of the best feelings he's ever felt. The conversations I had were intensely meaningful, and when me and (A) touched each other I felt this awesome energy flowing through me. It was intense, yet it was so peaceful and comfortable at the same time. Man, the feeling I felt when I looked into her eyes. We had connected like that before, but this time with all of our personal barriers down, it was divine. She is one of the most beautiful women I have ever met.

After this, (A) and I went down to (J)'s dock to swim. (A) looked so cute in her bathing suit. When we got down there, we jumped in, and the feeling of the water on my skin almost immobilized me. I wasn't really intoxicated at all in a conventional sense, but my heart was wide open, and the energy was flowing out of the surface of my skin. The water felt so wonderful. It was as if there was nothing beneath us, and we were just floating in an endless space. (A) and I shared the sides of a floatation tube, and we just smiled at each other talking about how fun this was. We touched each other and cuddled in the water a little, and that made my eyes roll around a little from the euphoria.

The sun was beaming down when we got out, and the warmth was radiating throughout my body. The Methylone was dialing down at this point, but it sure didn't come crashing down. At one point, we decided to fish as well. I ended up putting a crank bait lure on, and I caught a Black Crappie and a Rock Bass within just a few minutes. (A) made a necklace out of daisy flowers and another for (L) out of some purple clover flowers. They looked really cute. Hippy cute.

(J) asked me if I had any Benzodiazepines other than Clorazepate, which I usually have, because he is sensitive to stimulants, but I didn't have any. However, my Mother had given me four 5mg Oxycodone pills after I asked her as a precaution in case I experienced any negative after effects. I gave him two, and he was very surprised. At this point, I knew I wouldn't need them, so I planned to give them back to my Mother, as she does need them. Jimmy almost got teary-eyed at the fact that I've changed so much since I've been clean (only a little over a month), and I just chose not to take Opiates even though I had them. My Mother was actually shocked when I gave them back to her!

Not too long after that, we went back up to (J)'s. When we got there, we smoked some Cannabis, and this prolonged the experience greatly. Then (J) was off to see his girlfriend.

On the way back to (J2 and L's) appartment, we listened to A Perfect Circle's ''Thirteenth Step'' album. The enhancement of sound was very apparent from the Methylone and the Cannabis. (A) and I were really getting into the lyrics. She is really deep when it comes to poetry, art, and music.

Once we got to (J2 and L's) appartment, we smoked some 15x Blue Lotus resin, which feels similar to Opium and we smoked some Cannabis. (A) and I just cuddled on the couch, as we all talked amongst ourselves. Then, there was a knock on the door. (J) showed up because his girlfriend went to sleep shortly after he arrived, and he told me that he had to see me again. He was somewhat overwhelmed by how much positive fun we had in the past before our struggle with drug addiction and how much this night resembled the way we used to hang out. I think everyone that ingested the Methylone was extremely relaxed and in awe of the experience we just had.

(A) and I went back over to her appartment shortly after conversating a bit. I made some tea with Blue Lily petals for us while she took a shower. At one point, I walked over to the mirror, and I was amazed at what I saw. Me. 100% Me. I couldn't even so much as to think of how disgusted I was at what I had done to myself with drugs leading up to this because for the first time in three years I felt good about myself. I found that the Methylone's effects had sped up the process of acceptence. It felt so good to see myself in the light that I used to before my fall, and I cried. It was true healing, and I felt God's presence in all of it. Even when I caught the fish I felt that way. I was actually enjoying life again. Fishing is a huge passion of mine, and it was almost taken away from me because I chose to get high over the things that I love.

The rest of the night was spent cuddling with (A) and kissing her. Her kisses were absolutely magical. Since all of our mental walls were down, we were able to express things to each other, some that were necessary and some that were just feelings we had about each other that we were too nervous to express before.

(A) and I went to a Christian university the next day so I could show her the stations of the cross. This is a path in the woods where there are crosses placed in the ground at certain points with carvings in stone of the stages of Christ's crucifixion next to them. The drug just seemed to draw me closer to what I walked away from. My own heart. (A) was being very silent, as I could see it in her eyes that she was feeling empathy towards the whole thing. We talked almost all day about the experience and ''us,'' and I feel that it brought us very close together for a reason whether our dating relationship lasts or not.

Overall, the main part of the experience lasted around surprisingly 4-5 hours, but I still had plenty of mental effects throughout most of the next day. It was one of the best experiences of my life, as well as brought Methylone onto my list of favorite drugs. It will never take the place of MDA in my heart, but the experience was above and beyond most things. It was so ''clean'' that it was almost not drug-like. It felt genuine. The feelings I experienced were real and without distortion. I just needed to tune into that side of me, as I have become hardened and desensitized by my addiction. I don't know how (J) felt about it in the end, but me and (A) certainly needed to see that.

Exp Year: 2006ExpID: 53665
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jun 22, 2006Views: 24,682
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Methylone (255) : Relationships (44), Glowing Experiences (4), Small Group (2-9) (17)

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