H. B. Woodrose
Citation: Psychonaut. "Insanity & Therapy: An Experience with H. B. Woodrose (exp52830)". Erowid.org. May 9, 2007. erowid.org/exp/52830
I had an urge. A strong urge to try LSA..
I placed an order on 20 high quality HBWR seeds. Me and my friend had decided to take 10 seeds each to achieve a full trip. Previously, we bought an HBWR extract which was total garbage, none of us felt anything. The seeds arrived. I compared the seeds to some pictures on the Internet, and then called my friend and told him; 'This is the real thing'.
Then the day finally came. It was a Saturday and we had both been longing for this new experience. I arrived at my friends house at 7 p.m. We grounded the seeds, 10 at a time, and mixed the well-ground powder into a shot glass, stirred and finally added a little bit of orange juice.
First we tried the 'sublingual absorption technique' for about 15 mins, swirling it around in the mouth. We felt nothing from this, so we both ended up swallowing the mixture at the exact same moment (8:30 p.m.). We then sat down, relaxed, watched some TV and waited for the effects to kick in. Suddenly, after about half an hour, we both began to feel energy tingling in our bodies. I felt so happy and extatic. I started laughing at absolutely nothing! Just laughing like a madman! When I looked in the mirror my pupils were dilated as hell, nearly no iris was visible.
My friend said he couldnīt stay inside for another minute. So we went outside, walked around for a bit, laughing and talking. I started getting minor, barely noticeable, visual distortions. Spots of blue, green and red appeared in my vision. Our behaviour and thoughts were beginning to get really strange. My friend said it would be a good time to go inside now, as we both felt the effects creeping up, stronger and stronger.
When we came inside, we shot a really silly fooling-around video on his cellular phone cam, and then he started interviewing me about embarrasing topics. I couldnīt sit still. My stomach and bowels felt really messed up. My friend said that he wanted to vomit. I felt the same way to. But we never barfed. The urge to vomit was easily defeated and we both started feeling better in our abdomen rather quickly. All of the sudden (memory loss), I was lying in the bed and my friend was lying on the couch.
I became aware that the peak had begun. When I looked at his balcony door, it had melted, slanting to the right. I looked around me and, basically, the whole room had started to melt, bleed out colors and shifting colors. I laughed when I looked at my friend, he, like everything else in the unreal reality I was in, looked cartoonish. He had shining Mickey Mouse eyes. Suddenly, these cartoon eyes melted down on the sides of his face, and after this he melted into a colorful twirl and disappeared. I thought that the TV picture was the only thing that still looked real in my environment; but OOPS! suddenly the light from the TV expanded, smeared out and shone with all the colors available. The picture became intensly deep, shining with an heavenly white light and rainbows grew out on the edges. Sounds were extremely prominent and distorted at the same time, shifting directions and sources.
My jaw felt really tense, my throat was filled with mucus, and my bladder was filled with urine. I took a piss, and then, 5 mins later I pissed again. I was so focused on keeping my body functions stabilized, so I drank lots of water to not get dehydrated from all the urinating. Numbness shifted around in my body, but it was mostly located in my chest.
The peak of the peak kicked in. My tense jaw loosened. EVERYTHING in this unreal reality started whirling. With my eyes closed, I saw a large colorful whirl which I dubbed the 'LSA whirl'. When I opened my eyes, colorful whirls appeared everywhere, combined with melting, bubbling and color bleeding visuals. My arms, jaw, tounge, eyes, hearing, speech were whirling. I wasnīt walking around anymore. I was WHIRLING!
I whirled around the whole apartment, drank some colorful whirly water :-S, and went into the bathroom to take a piss again. I looked at the floor and thought 'What the hell is this?'. The floor was bubbling, whirling and bleeding out colors. I began to feel a bit of motion sickness, so I finished up quickly and went out.
My friend, who actually tripped even harder than me, if itīs possible, asked me why I was making funny faces and touching my chest all the time. I replied with my whirly speech: 'Iieuieioouu douououounnnnt knnnooouuuwwwoa!' (Translation: I donīt know!). I checked myself in the mirror. What I saw was a totally insane whirling cartoon character. It looked like I was made out of shining fluids. My whirling jaw started to melt off.
*About here (4 a.m.) my friends trip started to take a frightening (but life-changing) turn.*
I was back in bed again and talking with my friend. Thatīs when things happened to him. He nearly fell down on the couch from his sitting position, eyes shut, and fell into something I would describe as a hypnotic trance, similiar to a spiritual medium being possesed by a spirit. His breathing sounded wheezing. He mumbled out lots of repressed painful memories, and I acted as his therapist. He cried heavily, tears were soaking his face. Due to the nature of these memories, I canīt tell them, but I can describe them as extremely serious and horrifying. He also told what kind of person he really is.
Then he came to again, laid down beside me in bed and asked me if could fall into the same state, but I said that I couldnīt. However, a little while later, after telling him how large and spacy his tiny apartment is, I fell into the same state. My painful memories were all set free. I had never before realized how much pain and trauma I held within, and I came to the conclusion that my whole life had been one big traumatic experience. Tears were streaming down my face, cleansing my psyche of trauma.
My friends voice was so calming and intellectual, like I had never heard it before. His true self had emerged from within, and that true selfīs personality nearly was like mine.
This part of the trip lasted from 4 a.m. to 7 a.m. (I checked the time often, when the trip momentarely dipped down).
*Insanity (7:30 a.m.)*
We had both been lying in bed semi-conscious for half an hour. When I came to, the bed was filled with what seemed like hundreds of pillows, which I donīt remember being there before. The room looked strange, everything had shifted place, and the colors were constantly shifting. The 'melty' visuals were still there, but not everywhere like it was before. My friend came to also, but he was acting totally insane. He started saying things like; ' Weīre going to die together', 'I want to live in this trip', 'Donīt leave me ever, I donīt know what I will do', 'I donīt deserve to live'.
After he said these frightening things, he went into the bathroom with tears on his face and a pencil in his hand. I seriously thought of locking him in there to protect myself.
I was still tripping and became extremely paranoid, but I briefly came to my senses and figured out another technique to calm down the situation: to talk him calm. He evetually came out saying that he had figured out whatīs wrong with the chemicals in his brain. He had written a 'poem'(?) that read 'I need a drug in my life to balance the chemicals in my brain'. When we read the 'poem' in sober state we were both surprised how insane it sounds, but also how beautiful and clear he writes when tripping, compared to the barely readable scribble he writes in sober state.
All of the sudden, he started putting his clothes on, saying 'Nothing matters anymore.' 'Iīm going to tell everyone that I have been using drugs.' When he said this, I grabbed him and locked him between my arms without any problems (Iīm bigger and stronger than him. Lucky thing for both of us!) I spoke to him calmly about the severe consequences of such an idiotic action, and also repeated the mantra to him 'Itīs the drug speaking, not you'. He calmed down so much that it seemed like nothing had happened. We sat down and talked and smoked some cigs (sleeping was impossible).
Then he said he felt unclean and needed a shower, which led to that he walked around the apartment for about 1,5 hours before he finally did it. He also was determined that it was life important to eat, drink and showering at the same time. We thought in our LSA-twisted brains we could speak through telepathy. I tried to send my thoughts to him that said 'Take a shower now!' :-)
I was wondering if was going to be tripping for the rest of my life, and thought up strategies of how to live with it. I was so exhausted mentally. Finally, at 2 p.m. the next day,(17 hours!) the trip had completely subsided. I had aftereffects for seven more hours. It can be described as being born again, seeing the world for the first time and being totally amazed of all things, big and small, that you experience. The day after that I was so totally energized and went to the gym and did a workout consisting of 7 exercises in 40 mins. When I came home after that I cleaned my room clinically clean. The day after that it was back to old lazy me :-)
LSA made a stronger positive impact on my friends life. He is happier, more social, orderly. He is climbing out the dark void that was his past life.
LSA is very powerful that shouldnīt be underestimated. I got a powerful trip but I felt that I could handle it (most of the time). My friend, on the other hand, lost control completely. Without me there, both of our lives would have gotten even worse. My friend, who have done nearly all drugs, amongst them mushrooms, DMT and LSD, said that LSA is the most powerful substance he has used, that he never has lost control so much on any other drug.
Even though we were hanging on the edge of getting signed in permanently at the looney bin, it was the best therapy there is, bringing out repressed memories and truths. At least, thatīs the effect it had on us. It made us even closer friends and we have much deeper understanding for each other now. After using HBWR (LSA) both me and my friends urge to do drugs have decreased significantly.
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