Citation: IndigoSunrise. "Not So Cold to Me: An Experience with Brugmansia candida & Calea zacatechichi (exp49804)". Erowid.org. Feb 20, 2006. erowid.org/exp/49804
This has not been my first time experimenting with plants containing tropane alkaloids, but I will say that this was definitely my most notable experience with this type of plant which happens to be my favourite out of the tropane plants.
I am an 18 year old male, 180cm tall and 60kg. Besides from Valium withdrawals I have been in pretty good shape. I am a regular drinker and moderate cigarette smoker. I also take a multivitamin in the morning, and 10-20mg of d-amphetamine sulfate per day for ADHD.
I have experimented with many different substances over the years; I have smoked cannabis for 5 years and have recently cut down on my intake. I have also dabbled with speed, E, ice, ketamine, various pharmaceuticals, alcohol and my favourites always being the trypatmines (LSD, Mushrooms and DMT). Some other entheogens I have taken besides the tryptamines above are HBWR, Mescaline (San Pedro), Salvia divinorum and mild dabblings with Datura and Brugmansia.
A few nights previous to this encounter I prepared the herbs roughly in the same manner with the same quantities except resulting in little activity. Perhaps the flower used this time was more potent than the last attempt and the sedatives taken on that night had a role to play in the limited activity. It should be noted that my physical and mental state included withdrawals from taking diazepam in the evenings for 3 months or so and then stopping. The prompt for trying the dream mix once again was knowing that the last time I withdrew from diazepam, I got horrible and vivid nightmares which I have never experienced that intensely before. I could feel myself waking up frequently during the evenings, despite taking 50mg of Seroquel to sedate me. I decided I wanted to experience some intense and hopefully prophetic dreams, but things ended up very differently indeed.
This experience was void of any sedative medication, although some wine was consumed earlier in the evening and 10mg of d-amphetamine sulfate in the afternoon.
Growing Gains Respect:
I have been raising this Brugmansia since it was only a young cutting and this has been the first flowering. I place an important emphasis on raising these types of plants with great care and respect. An experience smoking Brugmansia leaf combined with cannabis a couple of years ago was quite powerful, but served as a warning sign. It wasn’t ready to accept me. That experience by memory wasn’t scary – more just like a sudden vision flashing with vicious intensity, and having a dominant orange ed colour scheme in a jungle at night, illuminated by a large fire burning in the middle of a gathering… I saw a tribal following, with a Lady on a throne. They appeared to be preparing for war, so I assumed she was presenting herself to me as a fast and vicious goddess of the jungle. I left the foliage on the young tree and raised it with care.
T:05- hrs = 10mg of D-amphetamine Sulfate (swallowed)
T:04- hrs = Glass of wine
T:03.5- hrs = Glass of wine
T:02- hrs = Glass of wine
T:01- hrs = Glass of wine
T:00+ hrs = 1/3rd of a B. candida flower & 15 C. zacatechichi leaves (liquid infusion swollowed)
T:0.5+ hrs = 1/3rd of B. candida flower & 10 C. zacatechichi (smoked)
The basic ingredient ratios for the brew were about 1/3rd of a Brugmansia candida flower combined with roughly 15 leaves of a Calea zacatechichi plant – both ingredients chopped finely. A pot with roughly 500mL was brought to a boil and the two herbs were added, and left to boil for another 20-30 minutes with two peppermint and one camomile tea bags for flavouring. It was sweetened to taste; ice cubes were added until lukewarm and it was all strained. Another 1/3rd of the Brugmansia flower was rolled into a joint with about 5-10 chopped Calea leaves.
After consumption of the tea I waited and relaxed for about 20 minutes before going and smoking the rest of the mixture in a small joint. Not long after that did I start to experience the first telltale tropane effect for me, being a strange taste in my mouth that lasts for at least 24 hours after ingestion. The second symptom was starting to loose co-ordination and depth perception, with my mucous membranes drying up. I felt sick, like my stomach didn’t want water, despite how dry my mouth felt. I decided it was time to say goodnight to my family and depart. I got into my bed, put some gentle music on (Boards of Canada) and tried to get some sleep. It was about 10:30pm at this point.
Slowly and slowly did I get sucked into the all familiar feeling that insomniacs experience - not asleep but neither awake, yet trailing off on distant thought patterns. This continued on as my delirium began to grow over the hours. I felt that I also gained a profound increase in night vision ability. I had to turn the light on a couple of times as I was seeing ants carrying food from my window to the door, or spiders on the window above me. Obviously the Brugmansia was aware of my phobia for insects, but luckily I have worked on these phobias with the assistance of LSD and nature, and was able to tell myself that those weren’t real. I believe this was the first test for me.
It would have been perhaps 2am at a guess, when I felt reality and the environment around me dissolve, and suddenly I was at rest. (Note: I believed I turned the light off at this stage). I cannot say all of what happened during this time but I vaguely recall having some vivid dreams until I was suddenly awoken, yet still in a heavy trance. A young lady that I didn’t recognise had turned the light on. She felt so familiar, but I gathered that I was also very heavily affected and didn’t remember why she had to stay at my place. Even her being a close friend was a possibility in my mind. She asked where she could sleep, so I told her of a fold out lounge downstairs or a mattress under my brother’s bed. She left for a few minutes and returned saying she didn’t want to wake the family. She opted to sleep on my double mattress with me. There were no sexual or intimate gestures involved other then when she placed a hand gently on the side of mine, without even making eye contact. Her hand appeared most unusual but I was in no state of mind to absorb and process such detail. I turned the light off and she appeared to sleep despite me knowing that she was always awake.
She moved down a bit in position so we were not facing head to head with each other. The moonlight coming through the window seemed to cast a black and white spell on everything. I believe the girl seemed to have very white skin under the moon, and her clothes were very basic yet still modern – the colours were black with parts of blue in different places. I decided to let her rest and try to get further dreams which took a while of me tossing and turning. I also believe that showing purity of heart that remained untainted by sexual urges (she was beautiful) was the second test.
The next stage was the most blurry. I felt I was constantly going in and out of consciousness into delirious encounters involving talking to friends. Each time I stopped talking to one them I realised that I firmly could tell myself that this was all an effect of the drug and they weren’t real. I knew that if I touched them they would disappear. Whenever this realisation occurred, my environment dissolved again, bringing me back to my normal room, with a still unknown girl lying very still next to me. I apologised for rambling delirious rubbish and explained I was heavily under the influence of a substance. What made talking to her feel real was the fact that I had easily recognised that when communicating I was talking using my chest, throat and mouth to propel words, whilst the communications with my friends whilst dreaming felt as if there was literally myself and another person discussing something inside my own brain and perception. I discovered this whilst waking up mid-sentence from a dream and hearingfeeling my voice propel the second part of the sentence, but not the first part.
This type of test continued in various ways or forms until perhaps 5:30am - including the infamous cigarette vanishing from hand effect A LOT of times. Every time this happened I thought ‘I don’t smoke in my own room – where did my cigarette go? – I ran out of cigarettes this afternoon! – This is not real!’ I continued reinforcing to myself that these were just illusions from the Brugmansia and my head is not completely lost.
I felt like the tests had all finished for now (instead of just random mind-fucking encounters with friends that I had to establish as not real each time) and although I tried to ask her name, the words would not properly form and she gave no answer. I rolled over for a little bit, and when I looked back the face seemed to be covered in a blue facial moisturising mask thingy instead. She smiled and looked away embarrassed, so I figured she thought I wasn’t going to wake up for a while and she was bored. Later reading into her various appearances displayed to me, she liked to use symbols to express that she can be fearless, loving, beautiful, ugly, mysterious and human all at once. I said goodnight for the last time and fell asleep.
I woke up half an hour later. I could hear my father’s alarm for work ringing. It was approximately 6:45am and the girl had gone from my room, yet I could see the arrangement of the covers indicating that a second person had indeed slept in the bed. I looked around with little success, felt a bit more sober and back to reality and just figured she had to work and needed a place to crash for that reason. I had a shower, and I saw in the bathroom some strong blue moisturising stuff that had been used but placed in a different position.
All these things told me that a girl had slept in my bed last night. It confused me. I got tested by Brugmansia 2 more times by answering mobile calls from people I knew. Both times I was actually not carrying my mobile or a phone of any description, and quickly became aware of that trick. Though when my friend Josh ‘called’ I asked about a girl staying at my house, and he told me that when he drove past my house very late a girl was at my front door and he talked to her. Josh broke up before I could ask who she was, and I realised then I was without my phone and Josh would not call at 7am anyway. I was still obviously affected to some degree but could compose myself at least. I was still determined to find out who this girl was, asking friends and telling them briefly of my story… convinced utterly that she was not a hallucination, as all my communication with her seemed quite real as opposed to the dream hallucinations. When she touched me, I could actually feel her whereas the other hallucinations seemed to be like projections sent from my own brain and had no physical basis in my own dream world.
It has been about T: 24+ hours since I consumed the mixture. My pupils are still dilated and I feel much more in tune with natural surroundings (understood a conversation between birds, and being able to listen to my plants). Earlier this afternoon I asked my mother if she saw the person that stayed over last night. I explained I was half asleep and told her to sleep on the sofa bed downstairs. My mother told me that at 3am she was sleeping on the fold out herself (“I didn’t want to wake your family.”) My mother was also a little spooked by the concept, as all the doors were locked, yet she remembers a light being on in my room around 3am whereas I remember turning it off, sleeping and getting woken up with the light on. I told her it could have been a crazy dream from the dream mixture I prepared; despite neither of us being fully convinced that it was just a dream. It took me a little bit to sink in.
My only basis of reality during that whole experience was centred on coming back to my bed after many of my confusing dreams that I felt forced to prove my strength of mind in. I quickly realised that SHE was the Brugmansia spirit manifesting as a beautiful young woman to me, except actively testing me to earn her respect by proving myself to her. Honestly everything else happened as it would in reality whilst I was awake and she was lying next to me. These things included letting the cat out of my room, turning the lights off or going to the toilet and such, returning to find her still there unlike with any of the other hallucinations I saw of people I knew. It is in these situations that I believe Calea gave me assitance by improving the clarity and cognitive functions during dream states.
I understand now that she has accepted me as her pupil if I so wished to take that road, but I realise how extremely powerful she is. I feel some strong bond with her, yet I do not know for certain whether I shall return for more lessons. I cannot stress enough how much I am amazed at her caring and protective side – I felt so safe around her without even contemplating that I was lying next to a powerful plant spirit. It was not what I expected, that is for certain… even if nothing else is certain under the spell of this sly and mysterious entity.
Despite how I am now aware that she was not an ordinary human girl, here is how utterly convinced she had me before it clicked:
Interesting.. very interesting.
I was in a state of mild-delirium last night, this morning, induced by brug flower (and some calea leaves) to promote lucid dreaming. With my extremely broken sleep at present, and in my state of talking to people who weren't there, by memory I would say that the physical symptoms aren't worth it in hindsite, but I think I conducted it pretty well. Kinda teaches me how fucked up reality is, (like when I have the flu).
Anyway, what made this particularly interesting (besides cigarettes and stuff vanishing from my hands) was the fact that a girllady whom I don't know and didn't talk to (by memory) somehow made it into my bed, and I didn't leave my room at all. I don't know what time it was, who it was, and I'm beginning to think that this person might not actually be real (or perhaps she got freaked out by half sentences spoken outloud to people I was seeing in my dreams).
Can anybody shed some light on this on this person, it was really strange.
Edit: It's driving me insane, I need to find out if this person was real or not as I recall conversing with several different friends who weren't there. Fuck, like I only got a phone call about a bit over an hour ago. As soon as I 'got off the phone' I realised that didn't have a phone in that room or in my possession. Craaaazy shit.
My eyes are supposed to take about 24hrs before vision will come back properly (as everything is more blurred from dilated pupils).Well my night ended up anything but boring, AND I was in my own room by myself the whole night.'
--- Journal Entry - 18th of Jan 2006 - 7:01am
Be careful and take great care with her. She'll crush you if you cross her.
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