Citation: Sweetpea & Hunnypie. "Our Crazy Night – a Bonding Experience: An Experience with LSD, MDMA & Ketamine (exp47765)". Erowid.org. Apr 6, 2006. erowid.org/exp/47765
We had some time off so my partner and I decided to trip, at about one in the afternoon we dropped our acid (my partner had 5 tabs and I had 2, being the little thing that I am), and started to have amazing sex. We both loved sex on acid before and thought that doing it to come up would be fun….it was…until we both came and instantly got catapulted into a really heavy body load, the trip was getting heavier by the second our heads rushing and spinning. We were overwhelmed by the sudden mind and body fuck after being so intimately joined together, we were thrust a part feeling pretty rotten really. We stumbled around going ‘oh fuck’ watching the room twist and bend.
My partner instantly felt nauseous and rushed to the bathroom, seeing him urge made me feel sicky too. Our bathroom has a crazy ass floral pattern all over the walls of the tiny toilet, plus the floor is a trippy shaded tessellation that makes my eyes go really funny. We spent the next 10 mins or so dry heaving and retching until we both gave up and decided to ignore it and go back to bed.
We were both fine for a bit curled up in bed listening to Younger Brother, talking about shit and laughing at the ceiling. The music was the entire trip, forming the room and creating patterns and stories on the ceiling, it was quite intense at times and was very fun, so clear and precise to listen to the psychedelic rollercoaster. As we began to peak I started to feel odd, like I’d lost me. Even with my partner reassuring me I thought I’d lost all sanity and would never get it back…I was so scared. My partner cuddled me up and held me tight for ages; we went to our spare room to watch the clouds out the window, they were kaleidoscopic, shifting like Escher’s dragons in rainbow hues. This disturbed me a lot because my brain just couldn’t process anything that was going on.
I felt as though I would never be ‘right’ again, sudden rushes of memories would go past my eyes and a split second later I wouldn’t be able to remember exactly what they where just that they where important to me. I didn’t feel as if there was any past or future just what I had then and it scared me. Just feeling everything from second to second was odd and unpleasant, a constant experience flowing through me a constant ‘now’. My partner at this time was reassuring me trying to help me through it by saying I was all there and that I was complete.
Realising I really wasn’t feeling too grand on this trip my partner took me back to our bed, put on Sia and cuddled me so we where facing each other, with my legs wrapped around his waist and his legs under my bum. This was extremely comforting at the time and after a little while of looking into each others eyes and rubbing each others backs we both realised we fitted together like a jigsaw puzzle, both of us together made one complete piece. Also we each looked like each other, when I looked at my partner’s face I saw little bits of my face in him, quarters of our features and bodies where part of the other person. It was like looking at a picture of both of us morphed into one, slightly like a Picasso painting with triangular bisecting noses with segments of colour and texture…And my mind came back suddenly, my partner saw it drift around the room and the precise second he saw it enter my head my reality flooded back and everything was clear (except the funky visuals).
We both untangled ourselves and sat apart, I now hand over to my partner because this is his bit of the story
As we sat apart it felt as though the parts of us that had become each other were left behind, as I saw her mind return she became clear, in a sharp focus. Suddenly I felt as though while we had fitted together so neatly before, I was now fuzzy, like a child’s cartoon where all the lines wriggle a bit even when they’re meant to be still, I felt as though I didn’t fit neatly anymore. That I was a rough fit to my precise, sharply defined partner. I felt like a small child, foolish for trying to fit when it was clear I wasn’t correct. But I wanted to fit, it wasn’t right that I didn’t, I knew I should.
My partner went to the toilet, I followed her there confused as to why I was no longer the right fit. Somehow within my head it seemed as though the music hade made us fit together so perfectly during sex, but for some unknown reason at this time I was found wanting in regards to fitting precisely. I felt rejected and refused to accept that I didn’t fit with her, that I wasn’t right. Things are very confusing from this point onward; I can’t totally remember the order of events, while I was compellingly locked into the trip regardless of how I felt about it. I was scared that my partner wouldn’t want to be with me if I wasn’t right, concerned that I was no longer important to her I wasn’t too sure what was going on but I didn’t know if we were still together or what was or had been going on all the time.
While in the bathroom I felt mirrored to my partner, as did she to me. It was difficult to tell where bits of us and each other were within one another. Talking to her on the toilet I felt like we were an old and infirm couple caring for each other, while walking back to the bedroom through the kitchen we became younger; 50-somethings in the bathroom becoming 20-30-somethings in the kitchen and hallway. The situation confused me, I felt like I was being tricked somehow, though I didn’t know how or why. My movements were compelled by the music and my thoughts; I had no true part in some of my movement. Visuals were real, and morphing our bodies and some of our surroundings. My partner’s hair changed colour, while mine went grey. I felt like I was being accused of not caring enough or something like it, as we got younger returning to the bedroom it somehow seemed as though I was being tricked or deceived into being uncaring, thinking only of sex. It made perfect sense at the time; I didn’t feel worthy or right, but I wanted to show I truly cared as I do. As we walked forward through the rooms our appearances changed with each step, I became slightly rough once pushing her back saying’ no!’ trying to reverse the hallucinations, it was bewildering to say the least.
I embraced my partner at one point, my forehead to hers, sensing her third eye opening into mine, saying “come into me” attempting to make us fit perfectly again, it still didn’t seem quite right. Feeling destitute and despairing of what to do I felt cast out and slumped on my knees leaning on the bed. At once my ego instantly expanded to fill everything within the vacuum of outer space, spread out everywhere drifting through this total blackness. My partner cuddled and comforted me, but everything seemed so incredibly distant. I felt her compassion that even though I didn’t fit her right, she still looked after me.
Some Aphex Twin was playing though we can’t remember what song, feeling incredibly confused and detached from my surroundings and especially my partner it seemed as though the acid was a tool for seeing if we were suited to each other, whether we gelled right, or connected properly, if we did then the results were beautiful, but if not we would get thrown apart it seemed, it felt like my soul had a stiletto heel being ground into it which wasn’t especially comfortable. I felt like a small child that was so stupid for trying, that I just wasn’t any good. My partner called me ‘sweet-pea’ it seemed reassuring, but yet slightly as though she were trying to console or humour me, a failure. It did seem very kind that she still cared for me even though I wasn’t right. Incredibly intricate fractals were exploding, growing twisting and unfolding behind my eyelids, predominantly black from space with bright neon colours, shafts of light slicing and turning into very complex and totally awe-inspiring hallucinations. It was like the Squarepusher video for ‘Exploding Psychology’ except even more engrossingly complex; the music drove the psychedelic thunderstorm continuously.
Now I was unable to maintain any grasp or sense of time and sensation. It could have been ten minutes it could have been all I ever knew, apparently it was about 90-120 minutes. I was completely uncommunicative with my partner though at times on my part it felt as though I could read her thoughts, or project my feelings to her. I felt like my sense of self had been spread across the depths of space, floating around the cosmos surrounded by other consciousnesses, hoping to find a fit and be a complete being again. I was kneeling by the side of the bed with my head in my partners lap, she was crying though and some shouting went on it felt like it was because of me as I was wrong. At points she seemed slightly scary because I wasn’t right while she was so sweet and pure, like a motherly Earth figure caring for me.
Other times I felt that we were quite filthy, a mess, which I suppose at the time we were, but I usually feel great fucked. She put her hands in my mouth at one point, they tasted of ash so I bit them, quite hard apparently; it seemed like the right thing to do at the time though I am sorry I did it. All this time from her perspective I was staring into space, or at a spot two feet behind her head. When I did make eye contact it was only brief and impossible to maintain. Everything was shifting, images flowed from happy, to scary and sinister back to bright and technicoloured hallucinations, stories and fractals constantly evolving and changing. Synchronising with the music as they twisted around my head, through my brain and gripping my spine only to grow back up entwining my senses in a completely sublime synesthesia enveloping my ears, eyes, skin and mind.
My partner was panicking at this point unsure what to do having been trying to get a response out of me for so long and failing was a difficult experience. I was floating on the very edges of the universe, completely alone, surrounded by a sheer black void 360º with only a slight twinkling of stars light years away. When all of a sudden a voice said ‘hello C. you ok?’ in my ear, it sounded like an astronaut on his radio floating along attached to a shuttle, I sensed his reflective visor and knew something had come to find me. Feeling like the lowest form of life and not even complete. Sometime later after images of celestial forces and different plains of consciousness, ones I wasn’t allowed to get to, only observe others transcending to them.
I saw gods placing down consciousnesses into the heavens giving them essence and being. Others could ascend to be with the gods, but I could only look on, my mind received ideas and images from iridescent globes of energy the size of marbles that were absorbed, collecting from the power surrounding me, ran along the length of my long hair into my brain making it exquisitely warm and tingly where they merged into me. I could see these glowing orbs flowing into my partners head, but it felt like hers were different, that they were telling her that I wasn’t right for her, hence holding my head to her wanting her to receive my thoughts too. It seemed as though she did and sometimes I could will us together for a moment.
I stood up quickly and began to feel my ego returning to my controlled being, able to direct my attention and observe things rather than continually experience them. My mind came in from every corner of the universe as every single star rushed into between my eyes (like entering hyperspace but it was 360º around me, I could sense it all) making my body vibrate and buzz very strongly till it slowly subsided and I could see the room again. I was overcome with an incredibly strong sense of awe and happiness, I felt simply utterly amazing, on top of the world. I said “I’m confused” not totally sure what had just happened, uncertain as to how long everything had been. I saw my partner crying and was upset thinking I was the cause, which I guess I was, but not for why I thought.
I repeated “I’m confused” a few more times, my clarity of mind was complete and I was in control of all my senses but the smooth yet rather rapid return to myself had made me confused as to what had just happened and what was going on now. It was now around seven in the evening. We sat in the other room and my partner explained what had happened several times yet it still was very hard to completely grasp what everything was. I felt totally energised, there was no sleep tonight my head was on fire my mind alight with wonder bustling with hallucinogenic euphoria.
We went back to the bedroom and sat cuddled up facing each other wrapped around just as before hugging and rubbing our hands over each other. Once again we merged into one another, our limbs and faces being split and mirrored into quarters of each other like a chess board of body parts. It suddenly occurred to me that we were a complete single being when we were together, that the two of us go into making up each other, that it took both of us to make each other complete. I said ‘I never realised just how much of you goes into making up me’ and shed a few tears of happiness that I was with the one person who could make me feel totally complete. My partner was overwhelmed, so incredibly relieved at having me back, scared that she had nearly lost me over the past two hours, we sat and talked about what had just happened. I expressed my sincere apologies for scaring and putting her through that situation, thanking her greatly for comforting me throughout she made me feel so very safe the whole time.
We held eye contact practically the whole time. I found out how long everything had really been and that my partner had rung up a mutual friend for some help. To hear a sober normal voice, and for reassurance as my reality was totally detached from hers and there was only the two of us. The spaceman I heard had been my friend on the phone saying hello. His voice did help turning me somewhat back toward my self.
My partner’s experience of the situation was of course totally different.
After we walked back from the bathroom my partner stopped completely dead, staring behind me, I tried to make eye contact and had no response. It felt as though all sensory stimulation had been deprived. I could not get him to talk to me and asked him over and over what was wrong. My partner bent over slightly and I touched his hand, his fingers just slipped through mine, at this moment I felt as though my whole world had been ripped apart. I started sobbing and shouting at him to talk to me. After about half on hour of this (during this whole time I was obsessed with looking at the clock) I began to think there was something wrong with me, like I had gone insane and was perhaps stuck in my own head. It sort of felt as though my partner was trying to tell me something/ show me some thing and I was just too stupid to work out what. I lay on our bed watching him for a solid ten minutes not once did he move, I could barely see his chest moving as he breathed. I began to sob uncontrollably and closed my eyes hoping that when I opened them everything would be back to normal. Of course it wasn’t.
When I did finally open my eyes my partner was on his knees side on to the bed I shuffled to the end and hung my legs over the side I just needed him to say one word to let me know he was okay. But he stayed silent. I put his head in my lap and stroked his hair trying to comfort myself. After a while I kneeled on the floor with him, I held on to him for so long burying my face into his neck sobbing my heart out. I felt so emotionally distraught I started shouting at him, this seemed to get a reaction from him he held my eye contact for a spilt second and I thought maybe I just needed to shock him out of it, so I slapped him really hard around the face, this did nothing and I became convinced that I had lost him forever and that all that would be left would be the empty shell of his body. It was a terrifying thought and I found it increasingly hard to control the situation, grabbing his phone I decided to ring an ambulance, I unlocked his phone and started to dial 999, telling him over and over what I was going to do. I was shitting it and needed a response from him, I realised that he is my entire world and without him I couldn’t survive. The prospect of an authority figure was too much to handle and I turned on the computer trying to find someone on msn to talk to.
There wasn’t anyone; I am fairly inexperienced with drugs and completely rely on my partner to lead any trips we have not having him was utterly confusing and hurtful I had no idea what to do, I rang a mutual friend who I knew my partner had tripped with before and asked him for advice. He thankfully told me everything was okay and to just let my partner come out of it naturally. I cuddled up my partner still in tears, trying to feed him water with my fingers, as his mouth was dry and he wouldn’t hold a glass himself. As I put my fingers in his mouth the third or fourth time he bit me really hard, and for a brief second I thought he was back but he remained motionless and silent. I was still really freaked out and went to the computer to talk to our mutual friend convinced that everything was not okay.
Luckily after about 2 hours since he stopped talking my partner got up and declared he was confused….. I would have been too, I had turned all the lights on, sprayed his aftershave and torn posters down all in an attempt to snap him out of what he was in. as said, we discussed all of this and realised just how much we mean to one another, just how much each of us is wrapped up in the other one. Although this trip was difficult it did help me realise that my partner depends on me just as much as I depend on him and that no matter what I do he is always a part of me. The sheer thought of not having him tore my entire world apart and made me question my sanity. I truly feel that our relationship has been strengthened by this overwhelming experience and that we both now appreciate each other and how much we mean to one another more than ever before.
After a lot of talking and cuddling and admittedly a few tears we came to the conclusion that although we both very much enjoy sex on drugs, and have done so in the past that this time having sex whilst coming up caused this strange trip. We both think that having got up quickly straight away after climaxing we felt like the other had abandoned us slightly, I personally felt as though I had made my partner sick and that he didn’t want to hug me anymore. Whereas for my partner it felt as though he was a small child that had been mistaken and was trying to fit with me when it just couldn’t happen, he felt as though he was being silly. Having been joined into one as the trip strengthened it meant that when we were detached we each felt as though we were missing something, the other to make us whole.
My partner sensed it first though it went away, then I as my trip peaked nice and hard. I take more drugs than many to get to where I want to be, I feel quite comfortable being incredibly twisted, gaining immense satisfaction and well-being from my experiences and subsequent recoveries. I found my peak utterly amazing, incredibly pure, vastly involving and all encompassing. It was absolutely magnificent though I was unsure as to how I should be feeling sometimes but that just added to the excitement. This was truly an unadulterated psychedelic experience and I am extremely grateful I had it. I am incredibly sorry that I scared my partner I simply had no connection with reality, I learned a powerful lesson and got an ass-kicking, I’m truly sorry I worried my partner it was such an overwhelming trip I didn’t know what to make of it. With this new clarity of the situation we went about having a lovely night together, sitting on the bed and talking about all sorts.
The five tabs were still going strong in me; while my partner was winding down feeling quite tired she decided to curl up wrapped in the duvet. I pottered about being the little control freak that acid turns me into sorting everything out, getting it just so. We stayed together pretty much the whole night. We sat at the bottom of the bed listening to music wrapped up in a blanket, watching our crazy Axminster carpet wriggle about turning into cheeky sly foxes. Water in the glass had a multi-coloured hue of the spectrum; the carpet flowed and rotated mechanically around the glass which formed a column of power and light. Having a couple of joints while selecting tunes to play, listening to U-ziq, Ceephax and Aphex Twin watching the colours swirl around loving the Analord series
Turning the black light on and playing with candles and whatnot. I played around with my glow poi that looked really cool leaving thick bars of red through the air; I got pretty hectic and furious working out a lot of energetic tension swinging my arms about madly. I always find that I can spin poi or glow sticks instinctually when fucked, especially on acid I can create stories and patterns synchronised with the beat and complexities of the music. It comes naturally and with no thought, simply playing, experimenting and expanding on sequences. I spun them about for quite awhile till I became bored.
Appletiser, apples and ice tasted magnificent, it made my mouths ickyness go away so I was all fresh. I particularly enjoyed playing with ice in my mouth and kissing while holding it on my tongue. She was quite sleepy and was dozing in and out while I played about with our home. I gave her a massage which made her even more sleepy and fuzzy; she then curled up snuggled up even more after that.
I started to play with my camera phone fiddling with the different settings and effects, taking pictures just for fun; I proceeded to fill up all my memory throughout the night, taking all sorts of crazy pictures especially some mad gurning grinning ones in negative.
I enjoyed mucking around with rubber bands and marbles, the quick snapping and sensation of the band on my fingers was fun, while the solid definite hardness of the marbles was interesting, very real and there, the texture and smoothness intriguing to play with rolling around amongst my fingers and squeezing as hard as possible. It was particularly fun to put two small ones in my mouth and roll them around my teeth and gums making neat sounds sensations and resonances and also cleaning and clearing my gacky gummy lips away from my teeth, it felt very good.
My metal jaw harp was also spectacular, the sensation of playing it joined to my teeth resonating and vibrating around was brilliant, the feeling of the sound rolling around my tongue and mouth was exquisite, playing came naturally and tunes unfolded simply and logically, vibrant primary and pastel colours streamed from my lips with the music, meandering outward around my head, back inside my ears, mingling, seeping and filling all the cracks in my brain. Flowing like 2d and 3d vines or a river they were very fun to create having complete control over them producing the sounds, their colour, shape and texture. I eventually stopped as my jaw became sore from the clenching and tension my playing was putting on it.
At about one thirty in the morning I decided to have a shower as I was very sweaty and manky. The biting hot water felt superb, each needle of water shooting down tingled on my body, holding my mouth open with my tongue to the stream was exhilarating heating me up, electrifying my skin. Washing my body with the rough shower spongy thing was great so rough and cleansing, I also got my back cleaned which always feels great. After a long hot shower washing my hair for ages scratching and scritching my scalp and ears as I love to when tripping or on any tactile drug I got out feeling gorgeously clean and shiny, having removed all the grime and dirt from tripping. My partner had cooked a chicken thing, and made some decent coffee, taking it back we sat down and drank the gorgeous tasting rich coffee, while it didn’t take long for my partner to discover the chicken didn’t really agree with her body at the moment (it turned out through a confusion of time, and forgetting to change one of our clocks for daylight saving, it wasn’t cooked enough). I ate a banana and an apple with some bread and jam to fill me up a bit.
I continued to listen to music on the headphones, some lovely Sennheiser HD515’s that are gorgeous for tripping so clear and rich, wrapping me up in delightful synths. I lay on the bed listening to Hallucinogen, oh that was truly wonderful. I do believe I could spend an entire trip tucked up in bed listening to music through headphones, a simply spectacular activity when supremely squiffy, even nicer with a blowjob blow jobs are so nice to give when I’m fucked it feels as though my partners rock hard cock is everything in the world and a perfect way to show him I love him utterly. Yummy!!!!
Around six o’clock in the morning my partner woke up and we sat about chatting for a while, not wishing to finish yet we decided to snort some MDMA crystal. We have no tube with which to snort, but I remember I have a blunt wrap skin which comes with a handy plastic tube inside. I roll a very tasty blunt, and save it for later (it’s still curing several days later, I think I’ll keep it for a special occasion). I cut some off the rock and racked up four lines, two small (3inches) and two largish (5 inches). I take the big and little one, my partner then snorted a smaller one, leaving the large one for later. Instantly feeling alive and energised my body came alight, as though hooked up to a car battery we’re soon buzzing our tits off. The line burnt us both quite badly but it certainly made the morning start very well, better than breakfast that’s for sure. I felt quite queasy from a drip that slips right down my throat, and about five minutes later after urging a little I puked a Lucozade coloured sick into the bin(I had been drinking it), feeling tremendously better afterwards we just kept on coming up and up. We sat on the bed chattering inanely and incessantly for hours.
Able to talk and communicate exceptionally expressively we chatted about the night, the conversation flowed lucidly each of us often finishing each others sentences. The confusion and head fuck of the acid was removed; the two chemicals synergising perfectly, memories and feelings of the evening became much clearer, we were able to articulate our thoughts, emotions and sensations far, far better. Taking the MDMA on the way down from the acid certainly helped us integrate our experience fluidly, make sense of it and gain much more than we ever could have had we not taken it; th. At about nine o’clock I took the remaining line. We opened a bottle of champagne and drank it fairly quickly getting nice and tipsy.
Napping slightly and enjoying each others bodies. The MDMA with the acid made sex uber fun and made it incredibly easy for me to come, whereas my partner could stay rock hard for hours on end but still reach orgasms. The two drugs synergise so well together every part of the sex was controllable and breathtaking, we would definitely recommend everyone to try it. The best part for me was the feeling that our souls had fused into a single amazing energy, producing something known in tantra as a kundalini. This briefly explained is when all 7 chakras in the body open up and an amazingly strong energy spirals up through them and out my crown charka. This was something I knew nothing about until after this had happened and my partner has shown me on the internet. Wriggling about all over the place moving every which way we wanted having far too much fun that someone somewhere must be having an awful time.
Every tiny pressure felt exquisite, our inhibitions nowhere to be found. With each thrust and movement together the energy surged from me into her, making orgasms overwhelmingly frequent that we had to pause to calm down quite often. She can also ejaculate which is damn sexy anyway, but with the pure sensual brilliance of the sex and its overwhelming power she ejaculated more than ever making everything soaking wet. We got so unbelievably horny then sated our every lustful passion, loving every second, savouring each moment. It was wonderful as a man, able to sensually feel every tiny sensation and texture, but to have complete control over my orgasm was a wonderful skill. Allowing me to keep going as long as we desired (2 hours) and finally ending in an tremendously world trembling psychedelic explosion that was simply body-bendingly brilliant
All women can ejaculate they just don’t know it, the main way that I find myself being able to is just to relax and enjoy every sensation in my body……the acid will help me do this. It will give me the most amazing orgasms of my life and also makes my partner incredibly hot for me. Sharing all these experiences and knowing each others bodies the way we do is a truly special thing.
Afterwards we moved to the back room, I rushed about bringing things back and forth from the other room, setting up camp on the sofa and spare bed. We sat watching the rain bash down against the window, smoking a few cigarettes chatting more and more. We have only fairly recently moved into our flat so the spare room is still a bit bare and I started to put a few posters up and move stuff about making it more homely. We chatted about all sorts and drew pictures of our feelings and thoughts from the night and time before. The MDMA helped clarify our experience and let us draw much more from it. We came to the conclusion that having sex while coming up had made us feel joined so fully that after when we were no longer locked together we both felt as though we weren’t a complete being without the other. We curled up wholly in love with one other.
I took 4 more tabs of acid, and my partner took two or three, to keep everything shiny throughout the day, we chatted some more enjoying the very clean high. Feeling absolutely euphoric and gorgeously warm inside, the world was entirely perfect and couldn’t be better. The acid only gently ran throughout the day, adding texture, tone and colour to an already exquisite day. We had to drop a film back so a gentle stroll into town was pleasant, though a bit much at times. We then went shopping at the supermarket which was quite the sensory overload, coming back feeling rather delicate and incredibly sweaty from the MDMA still working busily away, our eyes looked very dazzling. We went and sat back down, while I smoked a yummy joint and we listened to Shpongle and the Mystery of the Yeti. Having a little to eat we curled up watched some films and telly, then dozed off into a sound a smooth sleep; waking feeling refreshed and extremely happy inside and all-over early the next morning.
On the third night of acid my partner and I talked for hours. I took 4 tabs, while my partner took 2. Over the course of the night she took 1, then 3 more, while I took 5 then 3 our tolerance being up from the previous nights. We cuddled and kissed while snorting some MDMA taking about half a gram between us over the course of the night. Picking music to play and making a play list was surprising, intensely involving; feeling very exceptionally high indeed buzzing and tensing away like mad, barely able to do a thing we were peaking with attitude, and smoothly. We curled up on the bed chatting away talking a bout shit, nothing and everything.
Listening to psychedelic ambience we moved to the other room and spent the evening there waiting for the sun to rise. I smoked a nice joint and watched the walls shift and surge over itself, the corners of the room sneaking around. Everything looked absolutely beautiful, perfectly formed and embossed to precision. We didn’t feel fucked up we felt quite simply amazing, like ourselves, but 10,000 times better, calmer, happier, so peaceful inside, not a thing was wrong and the world was just magnificent. As Thom York says, ‘everything in its right place’ and it certainly was. The simple sublime splendour of being alive and experiencing the world was making my eyes go teary it was so fucking exquisite.
My partners jaw was clenching quite badly and she was getting very annoyed with it, I suggested perhaps she do some ketamine as personally I found it totally eliminates any muscle tension completely, very pleasant indeed. I chose not to take any just yet it being around 4-5 in the morning, I wanted to wait and take a fair old bit as the sun rose and shines right in the window. I prepare an 5cm long line, which she takes easily, not long after I ask how she’s feeling and she responds “all warm and gooey, it’s lovely” unfortunately it hadn’t totally removed the jaw clenching, but everything was very nice and fuzzy. The bastard ketamine pisses set in so we go to the bathroom, the hallway is a pretty spooky dark bit, but the candle in the loo is very comforting, a golden warming glow. With everything being rather peculiar closing her eyes to concentrate invariably meant a droopy head and dreamy smile before snapping back to reality and the task at hand. We hold hands and chat about nothing in particular; somehow we decided to walk in to town the next day, though certainly not just yet. Shuffling back like Ozzy, my partner decides bed is a more attractive option jumping in and refusing to come out. After a little coaxing and promising to wrap her up in our duvet and blanket we toddled back to watch the sunrise.
I personally felt like a child being looked after by my partner, but also like his favourite childhood toy, loved to an extreme that made me very emotional at times. One memory that I keep coming back to is when my partner wrapped me up in our duvet, tucking it all around me so I looked like a little caterpillar before putting a thick black fleecy blanket over me, he then pulled the covers back from my face and lent in to kiss me on the lips before tickling my chin. I had an overwhelming sensation of being a baby in a pram all snuggled and looked after.
We sat listening to Are You Shpongled? and a compilation CD called Unusual Suspects 2, very relaxing and intricate, a pleasure to watch. As the sun started to come up I did some ketamine, 3 large lines, probably about 14 inches in total, I flung the window open held a tissue to my well snotty nose and curled up waiting to go extremely squiffy indeed. Watching the amazing mechanical and organic hallucinations behind my eyes my forehead repeatedly began to buzz in a rising head rush and blinding white light that grows, throbs and subsides. I open my eyes to watch my left hand wriggling puppet-like in perfect synchronisation to every single beat and rhythm, twisting, turning like claws. I could control it somewhat; I could stop if I really wished I knew that certainly. But it was so very neat I had no wish to, I felt slightly compelled by the ketamine, mildly controlled. I have felt this sort of thing before on K, being turned inside out, or being forced to move, or have my consciousness expand creating a totality of music enveloping, driving and controlling every aspect of the experience, wholly immersive forming the complete universe.
I must admit I’ve always enjoyed it, after getting over the initial shock of being utterly bound to move in a minutely particular way, sculpting a friend out of hallucinatory clay as he telepathically knows where and how to move is just plain amusing. Ketamine though not overtly friendly and ‘happy’ is extremely wonderful a very enjoyable drug. It does often give me an enormous sense of well-being, filling me up to a wonderful fullness that makes me grin like a kid.
My other hand joined in and they wriggled around for some more. I watched the smoke from an incense stick dance writhing wreathed around my fingertips. I watched cartoons on the wall, poking them changing them with my mind. Not long after, this being about a half hour since ingestion I felt nauseous, urged then was sick into my mouth, getting to the toilet I violently yet quite comfortably vomited into the toilet efficiently about three times (kinda like Mr. Creosote), I stared as the toilet stretched to the length of a snooker table, heaved a bit then decided to leave and clean up. My partner had reacted with horror at my vomiting; I think conjuring memories of the first night, feeling really sick then. Shutting herself into the bedroom and refusing to let me in I guess I scared her a bit, reassuring her I was fine I eventually deciding to leave her be, I was sweating profusely and I didn’t stay the same height for more than 5 seconds, I did feel slightly beastly reminiscent of Mr. Hyde’s description in the mirror but very good all over.
I stumbled back to the spare room and slumped on the sofa; listening to crystal clear music the tones enriching the world giving it depth and substance while watching as the sky gets lighter. I rested my head and beamed as the music winded through my ears and twisted up my brain good and proper, ‘Divine Moments Of Truth’ was simply spectacular as the little critters rotated all through my messy head giving it a good sorting out sideways.
At some point my partner came to join me again, she had been under the covers for a few hours down a k-hole, coming back to reality we both did some more ketamine. I had a small nosebleed that I dabbed up then disposed of the rest of the filthy stuff straight up my shnozzle. We tucked ourselves up in the rugs and watched as the crisp morning sunshine blazed right onto our window. Feeling utterly serene, warm and all gooey inside made us grin like the Cheshire cat. My head dropped onto the back of the sofa and I closed my eyes, the pure clean sun beat down warming my eyelids from the chilly air, the bright light made red and pink, white, and dazzling sparkly colours explode into my head. Fractals that warped and grew insanely, there beauty breath-taking all I could do was lie immobile in awe at the sheer splendour thinking how damn lucky I am to be able to experience this; which I think I did for about 90 minutes. Gently drifting back from god-knows where feeling absolutely ecstatic, fuzzy and gorgeous all over. “It’s so fucking great to be alive”.
I think this experience has made us completely content with life and happy knowing that we can always be together and live a blissful existence with each other.
After amazing showers and my partner pampering me completely, we set out to town late in the afternoon. The walk was amazingly refreshing and crisp; the world seemed so peacefully in tune with us. Both of us found that our legs just walked without effort leaving us free to concentrate on talking and taking everything in. It was a gorgeous winter evening and we were both warm and snuggled in our thick coats holding hands, giggling like small children. It felt as though we were on holiday, exploring the renewed world that shone with detail. As it got darker and we got to the centre of our town we both noticed that Christmas lights were starting to be put up, which seemed amazingly appropriate as we had both said earlier that we would treat that night as our Christmas, everything felt magical, brimming with good-will like late night shopping. After a few hours in the town we decided to go to the cinema to watch the Corpse Bride. This is the first time I have been to a public place squiffy and found it to be amazingly enjoyable. The film was incredibly involving although I feel the theme of death was a little too strong for me; however the ending made me weep like a child (it was an incredibly gooey film, lovely).
It was a truly special time and I can see why drugs such as MDMA and acid where used as a form of couple therapy, it definitely helped my partner and I. The ketamine at the end of our fun tied everything up nice and neatly. I find K narrows down my scattered mind superbly, twisting me sideways then setting me on my feet; reality doesn’t come as so much of a shock. It leaves me feeling so very gently serene, tranquil and completely calm, harmonious inner peace interlaces through my essence propelling me so softly through my day. It packages me up and places me delicately back into sobriety after my intense experiences.
Our few days were an utterly astounding bonding experience, bringing us so unbelievably close together, joining us into one then showing us the pure beauty in the simple existence of life, the unadulterated bliss of being a living creature on earth.
Have fun living. xx
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